Returning to God for the 100th time--

setst777

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Broke up with bf, still dealing with crappy family, still have deep resentment for God.

Not sure how to start over with God bc i dont have faith he will help me just do what he wants despite how I feel.

God promises that our faith will be tested and refined by temptations, suffering, and persecutions while living in this world.

2 Thessalonians 1:4-11 (WEB) 4 So that we ourselves boast about you in the assemblies of God for your perseverance and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions which you endure. 5 This is an obvious sign of the righteous judgment of God, to the end that you may be counted worthy of God’s Kingdom, for which you also suffer.

God also promised us inner joy and peace as we radiate the love of God to others in righteousness.

God promised to work out all things for good for those who love him, and will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can endure. This will be true for you and anyone who has faith in Jesus demonstrated in a complete commitment to deny your life as part of this wicked system, and instead commit to follow Jesus into a life of love and holiness.

God promised to those who have a faith in Jesus demonstrated by a commitment to listen to and follow Him into a life of holiness and love, that he would help us keep our faith commitment by His Spirit who indwells those who believe in Him.

God answers our prayers according to His will.

God's will for you is to endure in your faith demonstrated by following Jesus, shining brightly the fruit of God's Spirit to a lost world with the mind, gifts, talents, and body that you possess and develop, within whatever circumstances you reside.

As you remain faithful, committed to denying yourself and following Christ Jesus, God will grant your prayers for empowerment to keep your commitment to Christ Jesus - to deny self, and then to follow Jesus.

God will answer your prayers to be of service to Him - radiating his love, gifting you with special abilities, and the desire to carry out those abilities, to serve Him.

God will answer your prayers, that God would love you and guide you into the way God has planned as the best path forward for you. But you must trust Him, and be willing to listen to and follow Him into a life of love and righteousness in every situation.

This world is corrupt and passing away. Everything changes and cannot be depended upon to bring you happiness or fullness of love. Trust in God alone to fill you with everything you could ever hope for and far more in this life, and in the life to come.

You are God’s possession, when you committed your life to him in faith. God purchased you for Himself to be holy onto Him when you repented and then believed in Jesus as your rightful Lord. You are a noble vessel onto God’s service.

1 Peter 1:14-18 (WEB)
14 as children of obedience, not conforming yourselves according to your former lusts as in your ignorance, 15 but just as he who called you is holy, you yourselves also be holy in all of your behavior; 16 because it is written, “You shall be holy; for I am holy.” [Leviticus 11:44-45] 17 If you call on him as Father, who without respect of persons judges according to each man’s work, pass the time of your living as foreigners here in reverent fear

2 Timothy 2 (WEB) Bolding mine… 19 However God’s firm foundation stands, having this seal, “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from unrighteousness.
20 Now in a large house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of clay. Some are for honor, and some for dishonor. 21 If anyone therefore cleanses himself from latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, and suitable for the master’s use, prepared for every good work.

1 John 1:7
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

Blessings to you.
setst
 
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Macchiato

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God promises that our faith will be tested and refined by temptations, suffering, and persecutions while living in this world.

2 Thessalonians 1:4-11 (WEB) 4 So that we ourselves boast about you in the assemblies of God for your perseverance and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions which you endure. 5 This is an obvious sign of the righteous judgment of God, to the end that you may be counted worthy of God’s Kingdom, for which you also suffer.

God also promised us inner joy and peace as we radiate the love of God to others in righteousness.

God promised to work out all things for good for those who love him, and will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can endure. This will be true for you and anyone who has faith in Jesus demonstrated in a complete commitment to deny your life as part of this wicked system, and instead commit to follow Jesus into a life of love and holiness.

God promised to those who have a faith in Jesus demonstrated by a commitment to listen to and follow Him into a life of holiness and love, that he would help us keep our faith commitment by His Spirit who indwells those who believe in Him.

God answers our prayers according to His will.

God's will for you is to endure in your faith demonstrated by following Jesus, shining brightly the fruit of God's Spirit to a lost world with the mind, gifts, talents, and body that you possess and develop, within whatever circumstances you reside.

As you remain faithful, committed to denying yourself and following Christ Jesus, God will grant your prayers for empowerment to keep your commitment to Christ Jesus - to deny self, and then to follow Jesus.

God will answer your prayers to be of service to Him - radiating his love, gifting you with special abilities, and the desire to carry out those abilities, to serve Him.

God will answer your prayers, that God would love you and guide you into the way God has planned as the best path forward for you. But you must trust Him, and be willing to listen to and follow Him into a life of love and righteousness in every situation.

This world is corrupt and passing away. Everything changes and cannot be depended upon to bring you happiness or fullness of love. Trust in God alone to fill you with everything you could ever hope for and far more in this life, and in the life to come.

Blessings to you.
setst

Thank You.
 
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setst777

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Thank You.

You are welcome dear Sister.

Please click on my post to you again because I added a few Passages for you at the end.

Blessings and Love to you in your Journey forward in this life.
 
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So sorry for your break-up and for the situation with your family. I know that it feels really dark right now and it hurts. God is there, you can be sure of that. Even when we don't think He is watching over us, He is....He never leaves us. He will guide you and He will show you the way. Be sure to take the time to listen. Perhaps this was not a relationship that was good for you right now. You have to grieve losing it, but you will heal. It takes time. If you don't have faith God will help you, reach out to your church/pastor and ask for spiritual support right now. Talk about your feelings. It makes a difference. Reach out to those who can help you with their experiences and wisdom. It's ok to feel the way you feel and I applaud you for being honest. Just know you don't need to stay there. You will be in my prayers.


Broke up with bf, still dealing with crappy family, still have deep resentment for God.

Not sure how to start over with God bc i dont have faith he will help me just do what he wants despite how I feel.
 
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HopeInJesusOnly

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Can u explain this a bit more? I believe in practical help i just dont have people that i can go to to confide in. I just dont.

A teacher or guidance counsellor can be very helpful for practical advice. A priest is always good when spiritually stuck. Also, if (like me as a teen), you didn't have good role models, but have a good friend with awesome parents, you could speak to them about what you're dealing with.

It might also help to write down (and set) some goals for yourself. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half, lengthwise. If it helps, you can also draw a line down the center at the crease. On the top left side, write "Goals," and on the top right, write "Actions," then list them out. For example, a goal could be something simple like "Make new friends." Write it on the left side. On the right, list out the action items (the steps you will take to achieve this goal), but no more than 3 to 5 items for each goal. In this instance - making new friends - you could list things like, "Join the soccer team" and "Say hello to 2 new people at school every day for a week," and "Ask one person who continues to say hello to me after week one to have lunch with me." Be as specific as possible. You could add deadlines for each action item or goal, too, if you wish. (Sorry if Covid blocks any of those action items, but you get the idea.)

As you complete your actions items, cross them off or place a check mark beside them. And don't forget to celebrate every time you achieve a goal. Do a little dance or something. Thank God he made you awesome!

Also, don't feel like you can't change your mind on any of the things you've written down. Replace or disregard, as your priorities change, just keep the goals to no more than five so that they are manageable. You can also pray over your goals, if you like. It can be something you can work on with God, if that helps you connect more spiritually.

There are many, more complicated versions of goal setting charts available online, so check them out if this idea resonates with you.

Hope this helps, even in some small way.

Thinking of you.
 
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AK1982

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Its beyond annoying and makes me want to givw up on God bc other people tell of how he helped them and idk i just feel he doesnt want to help mw or likes me or something.

I suffer with this feeling too during my depressed times. But, I tell you, you are different from that 'other people', your calling is different, your life and how you're made requires a different kind of God's work to make you Christlike, HIS plans for you are different and perhaps superior than those 'other people'! Great suffering great reward. Do not compare. God trusted you with the trials, more than those other people. Fight the good fight, don't give up.

You are in my prayers.
 
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Macchiato

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I suffer with this feeling too during my depressed times. But, I tell you, you are different from that 'other people', your calling is different, your life and how you're made requires a different kind of God's work to make you Christlike, HIS plans for you are different and perhaps superior than those 'other people'! Great suffering great reward. Do not compare. God trusted you with the trials, more than those other people. Fight the good fight, don't give up.

You are in my prayers.
This i resonate with but i dont feel i have a calling though.
 
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Cormack

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Maybe it’s good to rethink what “returning to God” means, @Macchiato. I know many young women who “leave God” because they find a romantic relationship, as if the sense of being joined to this person is a surrogate for their faith.

Of course there’s the inevitable breakup later, not because there’s something fundamentally wrong with them, it’s just because most relationships false. It’s hard work to bring two distinct needs and wishes together for the long term.

So there’s a breakdown of semi happy relationship circumstances and people “return” to God, but I’m not so sure that’s a healthy way to see our situation with Him.

They start “seeking His ways” and begin setting some standards to live by (so far as they understand good standards,) they do this as if they’re now ready to start winning Him back.

The thing is you can’t lose Him. God’s on your side and understands everything you felt was attractive and worth pursuing in your old partner, He was also aware of all the negative qualities you overlooked or thought were small enough to overcome in the course of time.

God’s only happy you set up some “standard” so you’re never left broken hearted and holding the bag again. The returning isn’t about trying to gain His care or goodwill, it’s about dusting ourselves off and moving towards perfect peace.

Take time for yourself and your close family. Make their pains your priority, it’s not easy, but you’ll find that taking the focus off our pain is actually a powerful medicine for our own healing.

And if the relationship situation still sucks, try listening to some relationships coaches, just for fun. :tearsofjoy: There are lots of entertaining videos and speakers out there on male/female nature, why we crash, butt heads and generally drive each other up the wall.
 
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Psalm 27

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And why would a loving God play with you this way?

Testing people seems very unChristlike. I know I would dislike someone who tested me for sport. It isn't okay. Imagine if I had someone come up to you and say something crappy about me to see your response, or judge your loyalty? Could you see how you might believe the other if they came across convincing or even cried for this "test"? You may fail because you believe people don't lie for sport. Now imagine I called you afterwards and blamed you for believing the lie. Called you a disloyal person. I'm betting you'd be infuriated. You don't test your friends. You honour them.

Lastly, being a Christian doesn't insulate you from toxic relationships and we shouldn't be spreading that lie. If it did, conversion rates would be 100%. Remember, Jesus himself had Judas. Think about it.
The Lord wasn’t testing me. He was teaching me to trust in Him, not other people (because He knows what’s inside man (& woman).
He was preparing me to overcome future deception, that every believer faces When they grow with tares :)
 
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Macchiato

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The Lord wasn’t testing me. He was teaching me to trust in Him, not other people (because He knows what’s inside man (& woman).
He was preparing me to overcome future deception, that every believer faces When they grow with tares :)
I dont feel God teaching me this lesson or to trust him. I feel left to my own devices. I have a kid and when i worked I didn't have much time. Idk maybe Im a tare. I feel increasingly angry at God for not helping me when Im doing everything in my power to help myself.

Just makes it hard for me to trust him. Like i just cant bc he isnt helping me or speaking ( even when i pray, get rid of bf-- could easily have stayed with him and just did my own thing) just leaving me in the dark. This is so tortuous to me.. Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve but im getting blocked at every turn no matter how hard I work.

Im so close to giving up on God and leaving him permanently.
 
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Jofes

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I dont feel God teaching me this lesson or to trust him. I feel left to my own devices. I have a kid and when i worked I didn't have much time. Idk maybe Im a tare. I feel increasingly angry at God for not helping me when Im doing everything in my power to help myself.

Just makes it hard for me to trust him. Like i just cant bc he isnt helping me or speaking ( even when i pray, get rid of bf-- could easily have stayed with him and just did my own thing) just leaving me in the dark. This is so tortuous to me.. Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve but im getting blocked at every turn no matter how hard I work.

Im so close to giving up on God and leaving him permanently.

You may feel that giving up on God is the answer, yet Jesus says that He will never leave you or forsake you to the end of this world. Anyone who is under great pressure has the opportunity to shine. Listen to the many on this forum who are in exactly the same situation. Feeling alone without God is normal. Jesus says blessed are they that believe in me but have not seen me. We know him in reading his word. Macchiato, God is as close as your next breath, your next heart beat, because that is all we have left.
Jofes
 
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Psalm 27

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I dont feel God teaching me this lesson or to trust him. I feel left to my own devices. I have a kid and when i worked I didn't have much time. Idk maybe Im a tare. I feel increasingly angry at God for not helping me when Im doing everything in my power to help myself.

Just makes it hard for me to trust him. Like i just cant bc he isnt helping me or speaking ( even when i pray, get rid of bf-- could easily have stayed with him and just did my own thing) just leaving me in the dark. This is so tortuous to me.. Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve but im getting blocked at every turn no matter how hard I work.

Im so close to giving up on God and leaving him permanently.
Today, I realised that I have no-one
(you’re v blessed to have a child :) ).
I was ‘woe is me’, ‘everybody hates me etc’ then I remembered the disciples praising The Lord that they were considered worthy to share in His sufferings. Imagine how rejected He felt? And He was sinless!
Most of my rejection is the consequence of my sins. Not saying you’re a sinner, just saying that He wasn’t.

Please don’t give up. It will pass. Wait on The Lord, again I say wait! I just read Psalm 27, it may help you too :)
 
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Sage50

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I dont feel God teaching me this lesson or to trust him. I feel left to my own devices. I have a kid and when i worked I didn't have much time. Idk maybe Im a tare. I feel increasingly angry at God for not helping me when Im doing everything in my power to help myself.

Just makes it hard for me to trust him. Like i just cant bc he isnt helping me or speaking ( even when i pray, get rid of bf-- could easily have stayed with him and just did my own thing) just leaving me in the dark. This is so tortuous to me.. Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve but im getting blocked at every turn no matter how hard I work.

Im so close to giving up on God and leaving him permanently.

Macchiato,
your trial is very hard to bear. You have tried so hard, i hear your words and think on what your words are saying. i am sad with you... its not fair, the situation you have found yourself in is just so vexing and hard and the trial is long. i just cant imagine what torment its like for you. the burdens on your shoulders, your awesome faithfulness to biblical standards our of the reverence for God. amazing faith of a woman in deep distress. like hagar, in the desert with no water in sight. But God is a God who sees and his understanding is so huge. i am sad with you and cant imagine your vexatious situation.
i did not read through all the backlogs of postings, but, i hope your child is handling things ok. its so hard without teh support you need, to parent, to find your situation. how awful your situation sounds.
your situation really does remind me of hagar, when she bore Abrahams son, and Abraham sent her off and away.. yet God saw her. God helped her, when no one else saw and no one else was there, he sent her help.

Hang in there... i know you are in great pain, i hear you. i hear your anguish, your need to find help your frustration at the roadblocks and the impolite feedback from 'Jobs friends' in the midst of your great pain. there is another side to this and God has an answer for you...
i am praying for you Macchiato.

--
 
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Sage50

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...Im doing everything in my power to help myself. .

This is very very hard to handle. To have done everything in your power and still have so many roadblocks. Sounds like a very horrible attack from the darkness.
Father in Heaven, in Jesus name, i ask you to not allow Macchiato to be led into anything bad, and that you would deliver Macchiato from the evil one and all the things against her good. Strengthen her and fill her again with you love, may your Love fill her sails and bring her inspiration and vision of where she is going. May you plant her feet on the path you designed for her. May you shift all the things going on, so to cause her feet to be on the right path. Father in Jesus name, please empower Macchiato with more of your Amazing Grace and strength. May you crush the works of the evil one going against her. May you enfold her in the Shepherds care and carry her, how you attend those with children and care for them especially more. Open up opportunities she thought she had lost, give her the special hug she needs. Show her and lead her feet to the right path, your purposes for her be fulfilled Lord God, Almighty Lord, and Father and Holy Spirit, in Jesus name.
 
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Sage50

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Macchiato said: {Quote} "Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve" [Quote}

This sounds amazing of you, what a heart of faith you have Macchiato. By your actions you have displayed loyalty and faith and God is a rewarder of Faith. With these actions you are doing and have done, of lining yourself to His way, he is greatly pleased with those actions you have been doing. it is not easy for people to refuse such things, and your show such a strength.
God is going to help you, God is going to strengthen and answer prayers. You respect / fear the Lord.
by your actions you do show your faith.

Luke 1:50 "And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation."
Psalm 103:17 "But from everlasting to everlasting the loving devotion of the LORD extends to those who fear Him, and His righteousness to their children's children--"
Exodus 20:6 "but showing loving devotion to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments."
Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. {Psalm 128:1-2}
The LORD taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy. {Psalm 147:11}

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? {Romans 8:31}
 
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setst777

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I dont feel God teaching me this lesson or to trust him. I feel left to my own devices. I have a kid and when i worked I didn't have much time. Idk maybe Im a tare. I feel increasingly angry at God for not helping me when Im doing everything in my power to help myself.

Just makes it hard for me to trust him. Like i just cant bc he isnt helping me or speaking ( even when i pray, get rid of bf-- could easily have stayed with him and just did my own thing) just leaving me in the dark. This is so tortuous to me.. Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve but im getting blocked at every turn no matter how hard I work.

Im so close to giving up on God and leaving him permanently.
  • Please consider going to a HUD office, or online, and apply for low income housing at a government subsidized apartment complex in the area of your choice.
  • Also apply for the EBT or SNAP card, for food purchases.
  • Apply for free health and dental insurance for you and your child.
  • You can also apply for government subsidized childcare, for when you are working.
All of this will require some work on your part to fill out all the forms. Having access to a computer is highly helpful.

Once applied for, you will then have the means to live independently, and start a better life for yourself. You may have to wait a few months though for an apartment to be available after applying with the low income apartment manager.

Blessings,
setst
 
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Macchiato

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  • Please consider going to a HUD office, or online, and apply for low income housing at a government subsidized apartment complex in the area of your choice.
  • Also apply for the EBT or SNAP card, for food purchases.
  • Apply for free health and dental insurance for you and your child.
  • You can also apply for government subsidized childcare, for when you are working.
All of this will require some work on your part to fill out all the forms. Having access to a computer is highly helpful.

Once applied for, you will then have the means to live independently, and start a better life for yourself. You may have to wait a few months though for an apartment to be available after applying with the low income apartment manager.

Blessings,
setst
I have done all of this. I have 3 apartments Im looking at right now. Got all the requirements-- just hope everything goes as planned and I can move in .June/July.
 
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Bruce Leiter

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Broke up with bf, still dealing with crappy family, still have deep resentment for God.

Not sure how to start over with God bc i dont have faith he will help me just do what he wants despite how I feel.

Why do you feel resentment toward God? Because of the breakup? Your family? Or what? Do you feel that God is to blame for those circumstances? If so, why? My experiences with losses has been that God can take my persistent complaining prayers, while I share with him how I feel openly and honestly. But I must persist in those prayers, called laments, until he gives me his peace of Philippians 4:6-7. Follow that pattern the way Job (chapters 3 & 10), David (Psalms 6, 22, 37, 88, and many others), and Jeremiah (Lamentations 3) did persistently until God gives you peace about your struggles. He has for me with four severe losses in my life.
 
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Cis.jd

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Broke up with bf, still dealing with crappy family, still have deep resentment for God.

Not sure how to start over with God bc i dont have faith he will help me just do what he wants despite how I feel.

You are still young. When you get older, you will find out how all these things you are sad about (boys, etc) are completely petty in comparison to losing people you love for real. Meaning, death. It is in those times you will cry to God and hope for his comfort, despite whatever crap you've dealt with or whatever theological views or questions you have; you will not care about anything else other than God granting you that "one last time", and that is a painful feeling.

Forget your "bf". Fix your relationship with your family while you have time, love them despite whatever shortcomings or disagreements; resolve all problems you think you have with them because you never know when the time comes. One of the biggest sorrows in life is when a family member dies and all is in your head is "I wish i had the time to...", and coming under the realization that it is too late.
 
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Macchiato

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I dont feel God teaching me this lesson or to trust him. I feel left to my own devices. I have a kid and when i worked I didn't have much time. Idk maybe Im a tare. I feel increasingly angry at God for not helping me when Im doing everything in my power to help myself.

Just makes it hard for me to trust him. Like i just cant bc he isnt helping me or speaking ( even when i pray, get rid of bf-- could easily have stayed with him and just did my own thing) just leaving me in the dark. This is so tortuous to me.. Im doing my best to leave a toxic environment( family) and turning down opportunities like living with my bf bc biblically God doesnt approve but im getting blocked at every turn no matter how hard I work.

Im so close to giving up on God and leaving him permanently.

I feel im a tare. I got back with my ex. I feel God tests me every time and I fail at every turn.
 
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