I just don't know what to say.

[Neostarwcc]

So I was listening to some sermons from a well known Pastor on Youtube named Jeff Durbin like I do on a regular basis. He's an elder of Apologia Studios in case nobody knows who he is. In one of his sermons he kind of upset me like Steven Lawson used to upset my wife in many of his sermons (Both Pastors tend to speak their minds on the truth and don't care about it hurting or offending people).

Anyway, in said sermon Durbin said that people have no right to carry the label Reformed or Calvinist unless they are in regular Church attendance with a good Reformed local church. It was almost like he was saying that such people aren't saved (Complete hogwash. We are saved by God given faith in the Gospel. Salvation is 100% a work of God, we are not saved by our attendance in Church) and he also said that people who do not attend Church regularly are outside the will of God.

Ok so it's probably true. God expects the members of his church to attend church. But, to say that you have no right to call yourself Reformed or a Calvinist if you don't attend a regular church is just ridiculous and upsets me greatly. Probably because it hits home and I haven't attended a Reformed Church since I was almost a baby. Calvinism is not a matter of Church attendance but its a matter of believing the things that Calvin talked about and wrote. It's a matter of going out in the community and talking about not only Calvinism but Christianity in itself. I bear the label Calvinist because I believe in, agree with, talk about daily and practice the Reformed faith.

But, at the same time I want to attend a church. My wife has been bugging me to attend a good Reformed Church for years, telling me about these Churches that are several hours away and are completely unrealistic to attend even once a week let alone a regular basis.

The thing is, every year I keep promising her that we will attend a church of some kind because it has to be within God's will. Especially when Pastors talk it up so much. But each and every year I ask my mother for a car loan and she doesn't provide I feel more and more like a liar and a horrible person. (She's lent my sister tens and tens of thousands of dollars in car loans and various different things that my sister and her husband hardly ever paid back. I've never been late on a loan or rent or anything from my mother in my darned life. She ALWAYS gets her money back.)

So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family. My sister has gone bankrupt so many times I cannot even count which you guessed it, my mother bailed her out of with no repayment back). If I charged a car or went with a car loan my parents would go through the roof, it's bad enough that they hate when I even have $300 in debt from giving money to Charity or when I have debt from my own personal usages. (Oh they know because Charities always send letters in the mail that they open sometimes asking for more money. And of course every time I charge, my mom's gotta know about it. She thinks my bills are ridiculous when really all I do is pay rent to her and charge probably $3-$500 a month on my card which ofc, I pay all the time and have NEVER been late on that wasn't the creditors fault)


I prayed to God the other day that I'm ready. I want to make my wife happy because she's been begging me for a Church for years. In fact, I've been waiting and waiting patiently for the next step of my life that God wants me to achieve and... nothing. It's the same things and the same works each and everyday. He's added some new people in my life to work on and to preach the gospel to and new Christians for encouragement but so far anything else or new? Nothing. I just have to be reminded each and everyday what a loser I am because I cannot provide the things that my wife wants and needs and seemingly what God wants from me especially something so simple as a Church. It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

I know... these are all excuses but to me they're reasons. I'm just... really upset with myself right now. I don't know what I want, I don't want to feel better. I just want to go into a pit and stay there for the rest of eternity.

 

[mlepfitjw]

Hello Neostarwars - (I personally do not go to church at all, have been taught scriptures for about 4 years now.)

Just would like to write to you and share some truth with you today. May God heal your heart.

God did not give us a spirit of fear but of love, self-control, and power (over the negative thoughts and stresses the world place upon us) - Negative thoughts that say we are unworthy, that we are unloved, that we are undesirable.

God desires us to pray and be thankful to him. So being undesirable is not true. We are all unworthy but in and through the Lord Jesus Christ we are worthy enough to go to throne of grace boldly.

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].​

When we walk by the spirit and in relationship with God and the Lord Jesus Christ it says here nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.​

We can also find rest for our souls when we come to the Lord Jesus Christ, 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Take care friend! God bless and have a nice rest of the evening.

 

[SkyWriting]

So I was listening to some sermons from a well known Pastor on Youtube named Jeff Durbin like I do on a regular basis. He's an elder of Apologia Studios in case nobody knows who he is. In one of his sermons he kind of upset me like Steven Lawson used to upset my wife in many of his sermons (Both Pastors tend to speak their minds on the truth and don't care about it hurting or offending people).

Anyway, in said sermon Durbin said that people have no right to carry the label Reformed or Calvinist unless they are in regular Church attendance with a good Reformed local church. It was almost like he was saying that such people aren't saved (Complete hogwash. We are saved by God given faith in the Gospel. Salvation is 100% a work of God, we are not saved by our attendance in Church) and he also said that people who do not attend Church regularly are outside the will of God.

Ok so it's probably true. God expects the members of his church to attend church. But, to say that you have no right to call yourself Reformed or a Calvinist if you don't attend a regular church is just ridiculous and upsets me greatly. Probably because it hits home and I haven't attended a Reformed Church since I was almost a baby. Calvinism is not a matter of Church attendance but its a matter of believing the things that Calvin talked about and wrote. It's a matter of going out in the community and talking about not only Calvinism but Christianity in itself. I bear the label Calvinist because I believe in, agree with, talk about daily and practice the Reformed faith.

But, at the same time I want to attend a church. My wife has been bugging me to attend a good Reformed Church for years, telling me about these Churches that are several hours away and are completely unrealistic to attend even once a week let alone a regular basis.

The thing is, every year I keep promising her that we will attend a church of some kind because it has to be within God's will. Especially when Pastors talk it up so much. But each and every year I ask my mother for a car loan and she doesn't provide I feel more and more like a liar and a horrible person. (She's lent my sister tens and tens of thousands of dollars in car loans and various different things that my sister and her husband hardly ever paid back. I've never been late on a loan or rent or anything from my mother in my darned life. She ALWAYS gets her money back.)

So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family. My sister has gone bankrupt so many times I cannot even count which you guessed it, my mother bailed her out of with no repayment back). If I charged a car or went with a car loan my parents would go through the roof, it's bad enough that they hate when I even have $300 in debt from giving money to Charity or when I have debt from my own personal usages. (Oh they know because Charities always send letters in the mail that they open sometimes asking for more money. And of course every time I charge, my mom's gotta know about it. She thinks my bills are ridiculous when really all I do is pay rent to her and charge probably $3-$500 a month on my card which ofc, I pay all the time and have NEVER been late on that wasn't the creditors fault)


I prayed to God the other day that I'm ready. I want to make my wife happy because she's been begging me for a Church for years. In fact, I've been waiting and waiting patiently for the next step of my life that God wants me to achieve and... nothing. It's the same things and the same works each and everyday. He's added some new people in my life to work on and to preach the gospel to and new Christians for encouragement but so far anything else or new? Nothing. I just have to be reminded each and everyday what a loser I am because I cannot provide the things that my wife wants and needs and seemingly what God wants from me especially something so simple as a Church. It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

I know... these are all excuses but to me they're reasons. I'm just... really upset with myself right now. I don't know what I want, I don't want to feel better. I just want to go into a pit and stay there for the rest of eternity.

There are online services now. You could set up a room with a huge screen TV and start your own TV church service. (People give away large screen TV's on Craigslist often) many are big and heavy.

You can buy a car and make payments on it until you have enough to bring it home. Or pay your mom till she has enough to buy it for you to use and she can keep it in her name. Find ways to never be in debt. It's depressing compared to not being in debt.

 

[Neostarwcc]

Hello Neostarwars - (I personally do not go to church at all, have been taught scriptures for about 4 years now.)

Just would like to write to you and share some truth with you today. May God heal your heart.

God did not give us a spirit of fear but of love, self-control, and power (over the negative thoughts and stresses the world place upon us) - Negative thoughts that say we are unworthy, that we are unloved, that we are undesirable.

God desires us to pray and be thankful to him. So being undesirable is not true. We are all unworthy but in and through the Lord Jesus Christ we are worthy enough to go to throne of grace boldly.

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.

1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].​

When we walk by the spirit and in relationship with God and the Lord Jesus Christ it says here nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Romans 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.​

We can also find rest for our souls when we come to the Lord Jesus Christ, 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Take care friend! God bless and have a nice rest of the evening.

I do feel all of these things from God. I feel assurance, love, peace, and understanding. I always feel like God is very close to me and is so close that I can touch him and ask him anything.

Like I said, its not an issue of salvation I know I am golden there. It's an issue of wanting to obey God and desiring to do the will of God which I'm sure you and every Christian desires right? We are all here to bear fruit for God and one of the many fruits is a desire to do the works and things that God has prepared in advance for us. I mean, God is sovereign so when I'm meant to be in a church I will be in one (Depending on whether or not even COVID ever stops. I personally don't think it will and is only the beginning.) So... I honestly don't know why I feel so horrible right now about not being able to fulfill what my wife and God desires of me.

Both of them are very dear to me and my heart so naturally, I want to do everything they ask of me. Idk, I'm sure I'll get over it.

 

[mlepfitjw]

Alright, that understandable. There is no more helpful advice to give other than what was shared. May you figure out your decision of what you would like to do in the best interest for your love of God, and your love of your neighbor. God bless and take care sir.

 

[Dave L]

So I was listening to some sermons from a well known Pastor on Youtube named Jeff Durbin like I do on a regular basis. He's an elder of Apologia Studios in case nobody knows who he is. In one of his sermons he kind of upset me like Steven Lawson used to upset my wife in many of his sermons (Both Pastors tend to speak their minds on the truth and don't care about it hurting or offending people).

Anyway, in said sermon Durbin said that people have no right to carry the label Reformed or Calvinist unless they are in regular Church attendance with a good Reformed local church. It was almost like he was saying that such people aren't saved (Complete hogwash. We are saved by God given faith in the Gospel. Salvation is 100% a work of God, we are not saved by our attendance in Church) and he also said that people who do not attend Church regularly are outside the will of God.

Ok so it's probably true. God expects the members of his church to attend church. But, to say that you have no right to call yourself Reformed or a Calvinist if you don't attend a regular church is just ridiculous and upsets me greatly. Probably because it hits home and I haven't attended a Reformed Church since I was almost a baby. Calvinism is not a matter of Church attendance but its a matter of believing the things that Calvin talked about and wrote. It's a matter of going out in the community and talking about not only Calvinism but Christianity in itself. I bear the label Calvinist because I believe in, agree with, talk about daily and practice the Reformed faith.

But, at the same time I want to attend a church. My wife has been bugging me to attend a good Reformed Church for years, telling me about these Churches that are several hours away and are completely unrealistic to attend even once a week let alone a regular basis.

The thing is, every year I keep promising her that we will attend a church of some kind because it has to be within God's will. Especially when Pastors talk it up so much. But each and every year I ask my mother for a car loan and she doesn't provide I feel more and more like a liar and a horrible person. (She's lent my sister tens and tens of thousands of dollars in car loans and various different things that my sister and her husband hardly ever paid back. I've never been late on a loan or rent or anything from my mother in my darned life. She ALWAYS gets her money back.)

So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family. My sister has gone bankrupt so many times I cannot even count which you guessed it, my mother bailed her out of with no repayment back). If I charged a car or went with a car loan my parents would go through the roof, it's bad enough that they hate when I even have $300 in debt from giving money to Charity or when I have debt from my own personal usages. (Oh they know because Charities always send letters in the mail that they open sometimes asking for more money. And of course every time I charge, my mom's gotta know about it. She thinks my bills are ridiculous when really all I do is pay rent to her and charge probably $3-$500 a month on my card which ofc, I pay all the time and have NEVER been late on that wasn't the creditors fault)


I prayed to God the other day that I'm ready. I want to make my wife happy because she's been begging me for a Church for years. In fact, I've been waiting and waiting patiently for the next step of my life that God wants me to achieve and... nothing. It's the same things and the same works each and everyday. He's added some new people in my life to work on and to preach the gospel to and new Christians for encouragement but so far anything else or new? Nothing. I just have to be reminded each and everyday what a loser I am because I cannot provide the things that my wife wants and needs and seemingly what God wants from me especially something so simple as a Church. It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

I know... these are all excuses but to me they're reasons. I'm just... really upset with myself right now. I don't know what I want, I don't want to feel better. I just want to go into a pit and stay there for the rest of eternity.

I think it is entirely possible Calvin was not saved. Or the majority of Reformed Church members I've run into. Because their truth is based on logic which happens to parallel many scriptures.

 

[Neostarwcc]

There are online services now. You could set up a room with a huge screen TV and start your own TV church service. (People give away large screen TV's on Craigslist often) many are big and heavy.

You can buy a car and make payments on it until you have enough to bring it home. Or pay your mom till she has enough to buy it for you to use and she can keep it in her name. Find ways to never be in debt. It's depressing compared to not being in debt.

Thanks be to COVID yes. This particular preaching of his was done before it hit but, I doubt even now with COVID Durbin's opinion would change. I also get it. A church helps Christians grow, it helps Christians bear fruit and to be connected to God, I get it. It helps us make friends and love our brothers in Christ. I totally get why he made the comment.

On the mother front? Idk I've been married to my wife for seven years now. My mom gave us a car when we were dating so that she could go to school and work because, she worked at the time at a local grocery store for a few months and was finishing her English degree which, she ended up abandoning to take care of me.

That car broke down about a few years later and my mom hasn't loaned me anything since despite asking her every Spring for a loan. Maybe its because I'm unlicensed and my wife drives like a lunatic and she's worried about our insurance going up. Idk. But, she always beats around the bush every year. I mean, I guess I get it and shouldn't be Jealous. My sister has a 14 year old and a 10 year old to bring to and pickup from school and my wife and I are childless so they have higher priority. Still makes me feel horrible because my sister gets all these car loans and I cannot even get one. I know all Churches are closed at the moment and the border due to COVID so I wouldn't be able to go much of anywhere anyway but, IDK. A lot of this was pre-COVID and I'd like to be able to go to the store and pickup my own groceries instead of always bumming a ride off of my parents. Or go to appointments or... anything really. You get sick of being behind 4 walls since you got out of high school pretty much all those years ago.

 

[SkyWriting]

Thanks be to COVID yes. This particular preaching of his was done before it hit but, I doubt even now with COVID Durbin's opinion would change. I also get it. A church helps Christians grow, it helps Christians bear fruit and to be connected to God, I get it. It helps us make friends and love our brothers in Christ. I totally get why he made the comment.

On the mother front? Idk I've been married to my wife for seven years now. My mom gave us a car when we were dating so that she could go to school and work because, she worked at the time at a local grocery store for a few months and was finishing her English degree which, she ended up abandoning to take care of me.

That car broke down about a few years later and my mom hasn't loaned me anything since despite asking her every Spring for a loan. Maybe its because I'm unlicensed and my wife drives like a lunatic and she's worried about our insurance going up. Idk. But, she always beats around the bush every year. I mean, I guess I get it and shouldn't be Jealous. My sister has a 14 year old and a 10 year old to bring to and pickup from school and my wife and I are childless so they have higher priority. Still makes me feel horrible because my sister gets all these car loans and I cannot even get one. I know all Churches are closed at the moment and the border due to COVID so I wouldn't be able to go much of anywhere anyway but, IDK. A lot of this was pre-COVID and I'd like to be able to go to the store and pickup my own groceries instead of always bumming a ride off of my parents. Or go to appointments or... anything really. You get sick of being behind 4 walls since you got out of high school pretty much all those years ago.

It sounds like you need to support yourself.
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If your wife can't drive safely, then she can not drive, period.

 

[Neostarwcc]

I think it is entirely possible Calvin was not saved. Or the majority of Reformed Church members I've run into. Because their truth is based on logic which happens to parallel many scriptures.

What about Luther? Was he saved? A lot of what Luther had to say, Calvin and the other Reformers agreed with. Or are you just saying Protestants in general? Because Reformed Theology and the History of the first 400 years or so of the Protestant faith came in some way, shape, or form from the Reformers.

 

[Dave L]

What about Luther? Was he saved? A lot of what Luther had to say, Calvin and the other Reformers agreed with. Or are you just saying Protestants in general? Because Reformed Theology and the History of the first 400 years or so of the Protestant faith came in some way, shape, or form from the Reformers.

I think it is possible. But they had logical truth that fits the bible. But questionable demeanor.

 

[SkyWriting]

Still makes me feel horrible because my sister gets all these car loans and I cannot even get one. I know all Churches are closed at the moment and the border due to COVID so I wouldn't be able to go much of anywhere anyway but, IDK. A lot of this was pre-COVID and I'd like to be able to go to the store and pickup my own groceries instead of always bumming a ride off of my parents. Or go to appointments or... anything really. You get sick of being behind 4 walls since you got out of high school pretty much all those years ago.

Let's just pretend you don't have a sister for now.

40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude - Lifehack

 

[Aussie Pete]

So I was listening to some sermons from a well known Pastor on Youtube named Jeff Durbin like I do on a regular basis. He's an elder of Apologia Studios in case nobody knows who he is. In one of his sermons he kind of upset me like Steven Lawson used to upset my wife in many of his sermons (Both Pastors tend to speak their minds on the truth and don't care about it hurting or offending people).

Anyway, in said sermon Durbin said that people have no right to carry the label Reformed or Calvinist unless they are in regular Church attendance with a good Reformed local church. It was almost like he was saying that such people aren't saved (Complete hogwash. We are saved by God given faith in the Gospel. Salvation is 100% a work of God, we are not saved by our attendance in Church) and he also said that people who do not attend Church regularly are outside the will of God.

Ok so it's probably true. God expects the members of his church to attend church. But, to say that you have no right to call yourself Reformed or a Calvinist if you don't attend a regular church is just ridiculous and upsets me greatly. Probably because it hits home and I haven't attended a Reformed Church since I was almost a baby. Calvinism is not a matter of Church attendance but its a matter of believing the things that Calvin talked about and wrote. It's a matter of going out in the community and talking about not only Calvinism but Christianity in itself. I bear the label Calvinist because I believe in, agree with, talk about daily and practice the Reformed faith.

But, at the same time I want to attend a church. My wife has been bugging me to attend a good Reformed Church for years, telling me about these Churches that are several hours away and are completely unrealistic to attend even once a week let alone a regular basis.

The thing is, every year I keep promising her that we will attend a church of some kind because it has to be within God's will. Especially when Pastors talk it up so much. But each and every year I ask my mother for a car loan and she doesn't provide I feel more and more like a liar and a horrible person. (She's lent my sister tens and tens of thousands of dollars in car loans and various different things that my sister and her husband hardly ever paid back. I've never been late on a loan or rent or anything from my mother in my darned life. She ALWAYS gets her money back.)

So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family. My sister has gone bankrupt so many times I cannot even count which you guessed it, my mother bailed her out of with no repayment back). If I charged a car or went with a car loan my parents would go through the roof, it's bad enough that they hate when I even have $300 in debt from giving money to Charity or when I have debt from my own personal usages. (Oh they know because Charities always send letters in the mail that they open sometimes asking for more money. And of course every time I charge, my mom's gotta know about it. She thinks my bills are ridiculous when really all I do is pay rent to her and charge probably $3-$500 a month on my card which ofc, I pay all the time and have NEVER been late on that wasn't the creditors fault)


I prayed to God the other day that I'm ready. I want to make my wife happy because she's been begging me for a Church for years. In fact, I've been waiting and waiting patiently for the next step of my life that God wants me to achieve and... nothing. It's the same things and the same works each and everyday. He's added some new people in my life to work on and to preach the gospel to and new Christians for encouragement but so far anything else or new? Nothing. I just have to be reminded each and everyday what a loser I am because I cannot provide the things that my wife wants and needs and seemingly what God wants from me especially something so simple as a Church. It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

I know... these are all excuses but to me they're reasons. I'm just... really upset with myself right now. I don't know what I want, I don't want to feel better. I just want to go into a pit and stay there for the rest of eternity.

I suggest that you quit looking at who and what you are in yourself and focus on Jesus. We can always find something about ourselves or our circumstances to complain about. We are encouraged to give thanks in every situation. Hard, I know, but watch God move when you do! Remember too that there is the enemy at work as well. Satan likes nothing more than to watch Christians suffer. Submit to God and resist the devil, again you will see real change. Maybe not in your circumstances, but for sure you will be stronger and wiser. You'll grab your shovel and fill in the pit!

Wrestling makes people physically strong. Wrestling against Satan's powers strengthens us spiritually. God did not invent Calvinism by the way. He knows your circumstances. This is one reason that I'm so against "isms". Too often it divides and weakens instead of uniting and strengthening. Look up! Don't look down!

 

[Neostarwcc]

It sounds like you need to support yourself.
655 Answers - What are the best ways to earn from home? - Quora
344 Answers - How to employ myself and make money from home - Quora
284 Answers - How to earn money from home using the internet - Quora
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-earn-money-from-home-using-the-internet

If your wife can't drive safely, then she can not drive, period.

TBCH? Between you and me? I don't even know how she was passed for her driving test in the first place. A lot of the times she doesn't notice red lights, stop signs, EZ passes (I've had to pay at least one ticket for her going through an EZ pass without paying) or anything else. She's never been in an accident since we've been together but, she's come close several times.

There was one time we were driving in Ottawa I knew mostly where we were going because I'm from Canada and was guiding her. There was a 4 way stop and somebody was coming from the right she was going probably 40 miles an hour completely didn't see the person coming or the stop sign until I yelled out "Stop sign" when we were in the middle of the intersection and she slammed on her breaks and luckily the guy coming from the other way did too or he would have hit us. Just stupid stuff like that.

There was also a time where she ran a red light completely at a Burger King and luckily my parents didn't get a ticket for that one but I made her tell my dad about it since she was driving his car. My dad didn't tell my mom and she was really upset with my wife for the longest time for lying to me. Just... idk. I'm schizophrenic and haven't practiced driving since I was around 22 years old and I think I can drive better than her lol. And there's no way in heck any competent driving instructor would pass me. So, yeah. No clue how she got her license. They must give licenses to everybody in Massachusetts.

 

[SkyWriting]

TBCH? Between you and me? I don't even know how she was passed for her driving test in the first place. A lot of the times she doesn't notice red lights, stop signs, EZ passes (I've had to pay at least one ticket for her going through an EZ pass without paying) or anything else. She's never been in an accident since we've been together but, she's come close several times.

There was one time we were driving in Ottawa I knew mostly where we were going because I'm from Canada and was guiding her. There was a 4 way stop and somebody was coming from the right she was going probably 40 miles an hour completely didn't see the person coming or the stop sign until I yelled out "Stop sign" when we were in the middle of the intersection and she slammed on her breaks and luckily the guy coming from the other way did too or he would have hit us. Just stupid stuff like that.

There was also a time where she ran a red light completely at a Burger King and luckily my parents didn't get a ticket for that one but I made her tell my dad about it since she was driving his car. My dad didn't tell my mom and she was really upset with my wife for the longest time for lying to me. Just... idk. I'm schizophrenic and haven't practiced driving since I was around 22 years old and I think I can drive better than her lol. And there's no way in heck any competent driving instructor would pass me. So, yeah. No clue how she got her license. They must give licenses to everybody in Massachusetts.

Let's just pretend you don't have a wife for now.

40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude - Lifehack

 

[Mark Quayle]

So I was listening to some sermons from a well known Pastor on Youtube named Jeff Durbin like I do on a regular basis. He's an elder of Apologia Studios in case nobody knows who he is. In one of his sermons he kind of upset me like Steven Lawson used to upset my wife in many of his sermons (Both Pastors tend to speak their minds on the truth and don't care about it hurting or offending people).

Anyway, in said sermon Durbin said that people have no right to carry the label Reformed or Calvinist unless they are in regular Church attendance with a good Reformed local church. It was almost like he was saying that such people aren't saved (Complete hogwash. We are saved by God given faith in the Gospel. Salvation is 100% a work of God, we are not saved by our attendance in Church) and he also said that people who do not attend Church regularly are outside the will of God.

Ok so it's probably true. God expects the members of his church to attend church. But, to say that you have no right to call yourself Reformed or a Calvinist if you don't attend a regular church is just ridiculous and upsets me greatly. Probably because it hits home and I haven't attended a Reformed Church since I was almost a baby. Calvinism is not a matter of Church attendance but its a matter of believing the things that Calvin talked about and wrote. It's a matter of going out in the community and talking about not only Calvinism but Christianity in itself. I bear the label Calvinist because I believe in, agree with, talk about daily and practice the Reformed faith.

But, at the same time I want to attend a church. My wife has been bugging me to attend a good Reformed Church for years, telling me about these Churches that are several hours away and are completely unrealistic to attend even once a week let alone a regular basis.

The thing is, every year I keep promising her that we will attend a church of some kind because it has to be within God's will. Especially when Pastors talk it up so much. But each and every year I ask my mother for a car loan and she doesn't provide I feel more and more like a liar and a horrible person. (She's lent my sister tens and tens of thousands of dollars in car loans and various different things that my sister and her husband hardly ever paid back. I've never been late on a loan or rent or anything from my mother in my darned life. She ALWAYS gets her money back.)

So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family. My sister has gone bankrupt so many times I cannot even count which you guessed it, my mother bailed her out of with no repayment back). If I charged a car or went with a car loan my parents would go through the roof, it's bad enough that they hate when I even have $300 in debt from giving money to Charity or when I have debt from my own personal usages. (Oh they know because Charities always send letters in the mail that they open sometimes asking for more money. And of course every time I charge, my mom's gotta know about it. She thinks my bills are ridiculous when really all I do is pay rent to her and charge probably $3-$500 a month on my card which ofc, I pay all the time and have NEVER been late on that wasn't the creditors fault)


I prayed to God the other day that I'm ready. I want to make my wife happy because she's been begging me for a Church for years. In fact, I've been waiting and waiting patiently for the next step of my life that God wants me to achieve and... nothing. It's the same things and the same works each and everyday. He's added some new people in my life to work on and to preach the gospel to and new Christians for encouragement but so far anything else or new? Nothing. I just have to be reminded each and everyday what a loser I am because I cannot provide the things that my wife wants and needs and seemingly what God wants from me especially something so simple as a Church. It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

I know... these are all excuses but to me they're reasons. I'm just... really upset with myself right now. I don't know what I want, I don't want to feel better. I just want to go into a pit and stay there for the rest of eternity.

Nobody has authority over your conscience except God himself. On top of that, all ministers are fallible. To add to it, we humans have a way of saying more than we would after a few days (or years) of reflection. Most of us have a habit of hyperbole given to make our point --I'm guessing that is what is happening here.

As for finding "a church", I assume you mean by 3 and a half hours away, a Reformed/ Calvinist church. It may be worth it to go to a closer church --a small one, perhaps. It may surprise you to know that most congregations, including those that include a majority of members that have been Christians their whole lives, don't know what they believe, really, have not really thought about it. Talking to people, you must have heard words before, like, "I know God is real, and I accepted Jesus into my heart, so now I am saved and that's all I need to know." They can repeat "The Gospel" back to you word for word, but that and attempting to live right are about all that they think they need to know. Even many pastors don't go much past that. These churches could use somebody to tell them about the work of God.

But whatever, anybody that belongs to Christ belongs to THE Church. You don't have to be a member of any particular church to attend it regularly. I'm a missionary kid, but I feel like my mission field is the American believers, in such need of knowing God for who he is --not the wimp that is being preached in the last many years.

Also, the two general categories, or three, if you include Lutherans, that go by the name "Reformed" and Presbyterian and Baptist. I don't hold to either, particularly. It is not necessary. Nor will you find one with which you are in 100% agreement.

Last, but not least, find some other Reformed preachers on YouTube. John MacArthur, RC Sproul, and there are many many others. If you are into debate, James White is superb to watch on YouTube, as is RC Sproul in his lectures.

 

[dqhall]

John was eating locusts and wild honey in the wilderness near the Jordan River. He was like the voice of one crying in the wilderness, “Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.” Mark 1:3 John had no building or pulpit, yet people went to listen to him preach the word of God and to be baptized. He taught people should repent in order to be forgiven. The priests in Jerusalem required animal sacrifices to try to gain favor with God.

In the Gospel of John people did not want to say Jesus is the Messiah for fear they would be put out of the synagogue if they did. John 9:22

Some of Jesus’ disciples were fishermen. They went to listen to him preaching on the side of a mountain. They were not in church.

 

[bèlla]

Find a church in your area you’re interested in attending. Download the Uber app. Plug in the address to calculate the fee and go from there.

It may be less expensive than car ownership and alleviates borrowing. You may make friends with a church member who’s willing to take you. You can bless them with gas money for their kindness.

ETA: I didn’t notice the distance. I second @Petros2015 suggestion to connect with neighbors. There may be seniors in the same boat as you.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

 

[A.ModerateOne]

So I was listening to some sermons from a well known Pastor on Youtube named Jeff Durbin like I do on a regular basis. He's an elder of Apologia Studios in case nobody knows who he is. In one of his sermons he kind of upset me like Steven Lawson used to upset my wife in many of his sermons (Both Pastors tend to speak their minds on the truth and don't care about it hurting or offending people).

Anyway, in said sermon Durbin said that people have no right to carry the label Reformed or Calvinist unless they are in regular Church attendance with a good Reformed local church. It was almost like he was saying that such people aren't saved (Complete hogwash. We are saved by God given faith in the Gospel. Salvation is 100% a work of God, we are not saved by our attendance in Church) and he also said that people who do not attend Church regularly are outside the will of God.

Ok so it's probably true. God expects the members of his church to attend church. But, to say that you have no right to call yourself Reformed or a Calvinist if you don't attend a regular church is just ridiculous and upsets me greatly. Probably because it hits home and I haven't attended a Reformed Church since I was almost a baby. Calvinism is not a matter of Church attendance but its a matter of believing the things that Calvin talked about and wrote. It's a matter of going out in the community and talking about not only Calvinism but Christianity in itself. I bear the label Calvinist because I believe in, agree with, talk about daily and practice the Reformed faith.

But, at the same time I want to attend a church. My wife has been bugging me to attend a good Reformed Church for years, telling me about these Churches that are several hours away and are completely unrealistic to attend even once a week let alone a regular basis.

The thing is, every year I keep promising her that we will attend a church of some kind because it has to be within God's will. Especially when Pastors talk it up so much. But each and every year I ask my mother for a car loan and she doesn't provide I feel more and more like a liar and a horrible person. (She's lent my sister tens and tens of thousands of dollars in car loans and various different things that my sister and her husband hardly ever paid back. I've never been late on a loan or rent or anything from my mother in my darned life. She ALWAYS gets her money back.)

So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family. My sister has gone bankrupt so many times I cannot even count which you guessed it, my mother bailed her out of with no repayment back). If I charged a car or went with a car loan my parents would go through the roof, it's bad enough that they hate when I even have $300 in debt from giving money to Charity or when I have debt from my own personal usages. (Oh they know because Charities always send letters in the mail that they open sometimes asking for more money. And of course every time I charge, my mom's gotta know about it. She thinks my bills are ridiculous when really all I do is pay rent to her and charge probably $3-$500 a month on my card which ofc, I pay all the time and have NEVER been late on that wasn't the creditors fault)


I prayed to God the other day that I'm ready. I want to make my wife happy because she's been begging me for a Church for years. In fact, I've been waiting and waiting patiently for the next step of my life that God wants me to achieve and... nothing. It's the same things and the same works each and everyday. He's added some new people in my life to work on and to preach the gospel to and new Christians for encouragement but so far anything else or new? Nothing. I just have to be reminded each and everyday what a loser I am because I cannot provide the things that my wife wants and needs and seemingly what God wants from me especially something so simple as a Church. It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

I know... these are all excuses but to me they're reasons. I'm just... really upset with myself right now. I don't know what I want, I don't want to feel better. I just want to go into a pit and stay there for the rest of eternity.

Hello, you wrote the following:

"So I know what you're thinking why don't you just save up for a car yourself and buy one? Well, I'm on disability and get SSI and I'm not allowed more than $3,000 at a time and half the time I can't have more than $1,500 in the bank before they say I go over, its ridiculous. So anything more expensive than $3,000 I need my mother or a credit card for (My mother is the only financially supported member of my family."

This causes me to wonder, if the restrictions on the money by SSI are the only reason you don't save the money, maybe you could reflect upon why you are on SSI? Maybe it would be helpful to spend time reading in and meditating on the wisdom in the book of Proverbs; plus, you may benefit from some good professional counseling. In years past, I was in a very similar situation as you, not SSI, but similar. We think so often of deep theological answers and overlook the wisdom that Proverbs gives us and professional guidance in the emotional and psychological realm can be of great help. I likewise do not attend any local church because my friend and buddy for life is a male, in accord with Eccl.4:7-12 ERV/ASV; so we just don't fit the so-called Bible believing churches, but we do have our daily Bible reading and prayer at home. So, God gives to each of us his particular path in life and he is faithful to be with us even when we lapse.

 

[Petros2015]

It's also really difficult to get a car pool to go to Church too when the closest church is at least 3 and a half hours away.

?
that's odd.
Where are you living?
Do you have neighbors near you?
If you do, then the closest church to them is also 3 1/2 hours away...
And maybe, some of them are also having the same experience.

I see an opportunity for a win-win here for you, your wife and your neighbors and Christ.
Church doesn't have to be a building someone else built
Early churches met in the homes of believers
I feel like you should have some friends over

 

[Neostarwcc]

Nobody has authority over your conscience except God himself. On top of that, all ministers are fallible. To add to it, we humans have a way of saying more than we would after a few days (or years) of reflection. Most of us have a habit of hyperbole given to make our point --I'm guessing that is what is happening here.

As for finding "a church", I assume you mean by 3 and a half hours away, a Reformed/ Calvinist church. It may be worth it to go to a closer church --a small one, perhaps. It may surprise you to know that most congregations, including those that include a majority of members that have been Christians their whole lives, don't know what they believe, really, have not really thought about it. Talking to people, you must have heard words before, like, "I know God is real, and I accepted Jesus into my heart, so now I am saved and that's all I need to know." They can repeat "The Gospel" back to you word for word, but that and attempting to live right are about all that they think they need to know. Even many pastors don't go much past that. These churches could use somebody to tell them about the work of God.

But whatever, anybody that belongs to Christ belongs to THE Church. You don't have to be a member of any particular church to attend it regularly. I'm a missionary kid, but I feel like my mission field is the American believers, in such need of knowing God for who he is --not the wimp that is being preached in the last many years.

Also, the two general categories, or three, if you include Lutherans, that go by the name "Reformed" and Presbyterian and Baptist. I don't hold to either, particularly. It is not necessary. Nor will you find one with which you are in 100% agreement.

Last, but not least, find some other Reformed preachers on YouTube. John MacArthur, RC Sproul, and there are many many others. If you are into debate, James White is superb to watch on YouTube, as is RC Sproul in his lectures.

Tell me about it, especially with the recent Zacharias scandal.

Thank you. I'm sorry for taking so long to get back to you (And everyone else I was depressed and busy the last several days and didn't feel like going on CF much).

Actually, you're right. I wish I could meet Durbin in person and ask him to explain that. Jesus said the members of Christ ARE the church.

I never considered joining another Protestant church. I guess I wouldn't want to because most of the

Not that I don't like the Arminians. Not that I think they're unsaved or evil (I don't) but its more that I wouldn't really agree with what the Pastor is saying. I can picture myself arguing and debating with my Pastor and fellow church members. Not really a good fit.

Yup! I love watching Sproul, Piper, Packer, Spurgeon, and... I can't think of his name. Mark Dever I think? They're all fantastic. I guess I listened to him because he's got a point. A christian should be out there with other Christians and fellowshiping and participating in Church activities. But, then again I do that on CF and everyday so... dunno what the argument would be. Anyway, thanks!