i was down trodden by the constant pounding of the devil through my depressive illness. i had been rock bottom, suicidal and ten thousand times past my coping point for 7 years. Church left me in the lurch because i had a psychotic illness and no one knew what to do with me. Most were frightened of me because i become violent when psychotic. It was down in this pit that Jesus was revealed in me.
"What you sow you shall harvest." He spoke the words while showing me how for all my life had agreed with every depressed thoughts that had come my way, and that is why i was rock bottom. i had build myself into my own destruction, that is why i was in the pit.
i repented right there and and then.
i threw all my books out of the window, apart of the bible, and devoured it. i began to rebuild myself with faith in God's word. In just three and half years i broke free from wanting to die and at 7 years i was so strong that i could be depressed at my worst and still believe Jesus loved me. As a matter of fact Jesus put every thing inside my heart upside down. Where i had suffered worst i now ruled beside Him over my life. Honest ever after Jesus crowned love for God and neighbour ruler of my heart.
My depressive illness is still with me, but i have learned to trust the Lord at His word, and not believe my depressive thoughts and feelings any longer. It is amazing what a difference this has made in my life. i don't have to stay in the pit any longer but can survive the onslaught of even my worst depressive bouts. It is amazing how strong Jesus can build us against bad life. Unbelievable! He set me free from all of my sins. Even very stubborn ones and continually teaches me through the word what it means to drink living waters.
All praise to Jesus for hearing the pleas from the broken hearted.
Psalms 34
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
The Lord will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.
Dear Jeshu,
I am sorry that the church whom you went to left you in the lurch. They should not have done that to you despite your past behaviors.
They should bear with you, forgive you,
prayed for your deliverance, and love you despite your weaknesses or inabilities.
I understand that some churches these days still unequiped to deal with these situations because they have not loved the Lord enough. If they have loved the Lord abundantly, they are more than ready to serve you by loving you as the Lord have shed His blood for you.
I am glad that you repented and have responded well to the Lord’s conviction of sins in your heart. And you chosen the right thing to love God and your neighbors and still continue to trust the Lord with His words.
I am concerned that your depressive illness still with you.
We have heard this :
This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. -Psalms 119:50
When we were depressed, we need comfort. When the enemy attacked with depressive thoughts and feelings! Were we not afflicted ? We were. But how God’s promise gives us life? What He has promised ?
This is what we have heard the Lord have said :
It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all.
The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and
life. -John 6:63
I understand that you may hear me say this many times but bear with me.
So, the Lord’s words when we receive in our hearts that bring life. When the Lord’s promise we treasure in our hearts, that brings life to our hearts.
Many people have read about what Jesus have said and promised but many have not treasured His words in their hearts.
When you ask them, pray according to God’s words or promises in the Bible. They can’t. Why ? They don’t remember! Even, when they open the Bible, some don’t know how to put God’s promises in prayers.
Aren’t we supposed to remind God of His promises? Yes. Do God forgets what He promises ? No. But He sets conditions to receive His promises by prayer and do what He have told us.
How are we supposed to say that we know God’s will if we can’t remember what He has said or promised? That is why it is important to remember His words in our hearts and minds so that we know how much He has loved us by giving us these many promises.
This is one of God’s promise that we have heard:
Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. -1 John 5:12
How are we going to have the Son ? If we say that we already have the Son ! Why then we lived as if we didn’t have life ? Why were we still depressed ?
Why apostle Paul prayed this prayer:
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, -Ephesians 3:14
that according to the riches of his glory he
may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, -Ephesians 3:16
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith'that you, being rooted and grounded in love, -Ephesians 3:17
may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, -Ephesians 3:18
and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:19
Again, why apostle Paul prayed to God the Father to grant us to be strengthen
with power through His Spirit in our inner being, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith ?
Isn’t that we need God’s strength through His Holy Spirit in our inner being or our hearts?
Isn’t it obvious that we need the Holy Spirit’s help so that Christ may dwell in our hearts?
That is why we need to keep seeking the Heavenly Father to continue to give us the Holy Spirit so that Christ Jesus may dwell in our hearts through faith.
This is how we have the promise. When we have the Son, we have life according to what is written in 1 John 5:12.
When we remember many of God’s promises in our hearts and minds, pray over our life; indirectly, we submit ourselves to God’s will because we believe His promises for our life.
What is God’s purpose in doing this ?
This is what we have heard:
by which He has granted to us his precious and very great promises,
so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. -2 Peter 1:4
When we identify our life with God’s promises which our Lord have said is Spirit that gives life, we become partakers of His divine nature so that we can escape from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. Including depression !
So choose to have life and love many days that you may see good things with the Lord in your heart !
May you be filled with God’s peace in full measure. To God be the glory. Amen.