Blacks want a "place at the table".

Redwingfan9

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I was referring mainly to the 'matriarchal' attitudes of many black women, which of course is Afro-centric. American society is good ground for this to develop in the black culture.
Those attitudes aren't unique to blacks though. They're common among poor Americans, black and white.
 
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RDKirk

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I was referring mainly to the 'matriarchal' attitudes of many black women, which of course is Afro-centric. American society is good ground for this to develop in the black culture.

I would disagree that black women have, in the main, an "matriarchal" attitude.
 
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bèlla

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It's actually a desire to climb up onto the pedestal that liberated white women have stepped down from. If liberated white women don't want that white male provider-protector, black women will take him.

My aunt said she never understood black feminists. She told me the majority always worked to support their family. They didn't have the privilege of being home. The idea they'd rail against it was baffling.

I date keepers. In my experience, they're very selective and guard against wallet chasers. My gentlemen require femininity, submission, and a pleasant attitude. They like old fashioned girls. It takes a certain disposition to be in that role. It's not for everyone.

Something I've long noted about the pairings of white men and black women: When a white male has gotten over the race hurdle in the first place, he doesn't look at actual skin tone. White men are not "colorist."

No they aren't. I've never heard it. :)

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
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bèlla

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I was referring mainly to the 'matriarchal' attitudes of many black women, which of course is Afro-centric. American society is good ground for this to develop in the black culture.

Most women aren't matriarchs. That's a distinct role and mindset. My grandmother was a matriarch. Her attitude on family and commitment to its furtherance is a hallmark of legacy. That wasn't limited to her children. She touched everyone in the fold. We're all bettered because of her and my grandfather.

To be a matriarch requires discipline, unselfishness, humility, vision, and a lot of faith. You're the example everyone looks to. You must be wise enough to recognize everyone's capabilities and inspire their investment in the family ethos.

You don't roll out of bed and become that way. The majority are groomed.

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
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OldWiseGuy

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Those attitudes aren't unique to blacks though. They're common among poor Americans, black and white.

Women of all ethnicities find themselves in a matriarchal position if they have sole custody of their children and are the sole means of their support. Many divorced women believe they have a duty to protect their children from their fathers.

This has grown into a generational thing as well as many black children are raised by other relatives, usually aunts or grandmothers.
 
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RDKirk

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My aunt said she never understood black feminists. She told me the majority always worked to support their family. They didn't have the privilege of being home. The idea they'd rail against it was baffling.
~bella

Black women were somewhat duped by third (and subsequent) wave white feminism in the latter part of last century. The first two waves (political and economic liberation) were solid and fundamental, but after that feminism went astray, and certainly wasn't what black women needed.

There is a reason and purpose for black feminism, but it doesn't share the same goals as "third and subsequent wave" white feminism. New black feminist women realize that now. That's why what white feminists call "intersectionality" is totally different from what black women call "intersectionality."
 
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OldWiseGuy

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Most women aren't matriarchs. That's a distinct role and mindset. My grandmother was a matriarch. Her attitude on family and commitment to its furtherance is a hallmark of legacy. That wasn't limited to her children. She touched everyone in the fold. We're all bettered because of her and my grandfather.

To be a matriarch requires discipline, unselfishness, humility, vision, and a lot of faith. You're the example everyone looks to. You must be wise enough to recognize everyone's capabilities and inspire their investment in the family ethos.

You don't roll out of bed and become that way. The majority are groomed.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

I think a lot of women have sore bottom lips...from biting them. ;)
 
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bèlla

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There is a reason and purpose for black feminism, but it doesn't share the same goals as "third and subsequent wave" white feminism. New black feminist women realize that now. That's why what white feminists call "intersectionality" is totally different from what black women call "intersectionality."

I’m not conversant will all the iterations of feminism. But I believe women of color need to align themselves with wholesome principles.

That begins with God and an internal overhaul through the Holy Spirit’s direction. It will manifest externally and put them in the position to attract godly gentlemen who are good to and good for them.

They’ll cease to live in the moment with little regard for the future and make wise decisions that improve their well-being and household. Their children will have the benefit of loving parents who fear the Lord and impress the same.

That’s our starting point. When we’re under His rulership the rest falls into place.

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
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bèlla

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I think a lot of women have sore bottom lips...from biting them. ;)

Genuine speech modification is really hard. You have to resist negative thinking and maintain a level of respect that restrains your tongue. The secret is understanding whether the other is right or wrong there’s a line you won’t cross. ;)

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
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RDKirk

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I’m not conversant will all the iterations of feminism. But I believe women of color need to align themselves with wholesome principles.

That begins with God and an internal overhaul through the Holy Spirit’s direction. It will manifest externally and put them in the position to attract godly gentlemen who are good to and good for them.

They’ll cease to live in the moment with little regard for the future and make wise decisions that improve their well-being and household. Their children will have the benefit of loving parents who fear the Lord and impress the same.

That’s our starting point. When we’re under His rulership the rest falls into place.

Yours in His Service,

~bella

That needs to happen to both men and women. I personally know several lovely and Godly black women who constantly cause me to wonder, "Why aren't you married?" They are all about 30 years old, no children, never married, college degrees, active in the church, taking care of their bodies and their minds...and they would like to be married. I've worked with them quite a while (since they were about 25), and I've seen them in situations that should have made them angry...but they've always been even tempered. But black men don't take an interest.

It's a problem that also flabbergasts our pastor. He has held "mixers" for the singles in the congregation, and he's frustrated seeing men just standing around like middle-school boys. After one mixer at the next men's group meeting, he asked the big group of men how many of the singles had attended the mixer. About 80 men raised their hands. He plaintively asked what were they looking for? He finished, frustrated, with, "They're all Christian...just pick one!"
 
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bèlla

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That needs to happen to both men and women.

That goes for both. We were addressing women so I mentioned them. :)

But black men don't take an interest.

Why are they overlooking worthy prospects in your opinion?

It's a problem that also flabbergasts our pastor. He has held "mixers" for the singles in the congregation, and he's frustrated seeing men just standing around like middle-school boys.

That’s unfortunate. I don’t know if the same holds true for men of color. But I’ve encountered several Caucasian men with little to no experience with the opposite sex. They’re in the same age group and pretty clueless. I don’t think that’s a subject women can address. They need mature men to intervene.

Yours in His Service,

~bella
 
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Ken-1122

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A rising tide lifts all boats, even small boats.
Are you saying when black people began transferring their wealth to whites, the entire economy grew in a way it did not when black people kept their wealth? And this wealth grew to the point that black people became more wealthy? Is this your claim?
The link does’t answer my question. The link speaks of how black people spend their money. It doesn’t mention a single white store, business, or product produced strictly by white people
An economy with a strong black banks, supported by black depositors, serving the black community.
An economy with strong black banks, strong black business will attract more than black depositors and black customers, they will attract white depositors and customers as well. And if the bank and business wants to be successful, they will have to serve all communities; rather than restricting themselves to a small percentage of the public.
 
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OldWiseGuy

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Are you saying when black people began transferring their wealth to whites, the entire economy grew in a way it did not when black people kept their wealth? And this wealth grew to the point that black people became more wealthy? Is this your claim?

No.

The link does’t answer my question. The link speaks of how black people spend their money. It doesn’t mention a single white store, business, or product produced strictly by white people

If blacks abandon black businesses where do you think they buy stuff?

An economy with strong black banks, strong black business will attract more than black depositors and black customers, they will attract white depositors and customers as well. And if the bank and business wants to be successful, they will have to serve all communities; rather than restricting themselves to a small percentage of the public.

Black aren't the best at saving money. That's why black owned banks have a hard time. If blacks would support black owned banks and businesses, more investment money would be available for them to borrow and black employment would increase.
 
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Ken-1122

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So explain what you mean. How did black people give all their money to white people, yet end up with more money?
If blacks abandon black businesses where do you think they buy stuff?
From businesses owned by multiple people; some white, some brown, some black. Most businesses are not owned strictly by one race of people, usually multiple people of various races are investors in a business.
Black aren't the best at saving money. That's why black owned banks have a hard time. If blacks would support black owned banks and businesses, more investment money would be available for them to borrow and black employment would increase.
But if black owned banks are as incompetent as you claim they are, why would black people, or anybody want to do business with such a bank when there are plenty of competent banks around that would probably give them a better rate?
 
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OldWiseGuy

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So explain what you mean. How did black people give all their money to white people, yet end up with more money?

One can fritter away their wealth while actually earning more money (been there, done that). I earn less than the average black family yet have much more wealth. It's how you spend it (or save and invest it) that makes the difference.

From businesses owned by multiple people; some white, some brown, some black. Most businesses are not owned strictly by one race of people, usually multiple people of various races are investors in a business.

Mostly white owned.

But if black owned banks are as incompetent as you claim they are, why would black people, or anybody want to do business with such a bank when there are plenty of competent banks around that would probably give them a better rate?

That's a good question. Why do blacks prefer to do business with white owned banks and businesses instead of black owned?
 
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Ken-1122

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One can fritter away their wealth while actually earning more money (been there, done that). I earn less than the average black family yet have much more wealth. It's how you spend it (or save and invest it) that makes the difference.
Black people had more wealth after Jim Crow was dispelled, they didn't just make more money.
Mostly white owned.
What percentage of white owned would you say is necessary before you call it a white owned business?
That's a good question. Why do blacks prefer to do business with white owned banks and businesses instead of black owned?
When I went to get a loan, I went to the bank that gave me the best rate.
 
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