Fear love marriage

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I feel so attacked I've been fighting for my love in my marriage for 9 months now. I lost it and I pray and ask God to lead me and teach me. To be the wife I need to be. I'm so afraid. I want to fully love my husband again. Its tearing me apart. Hes a wonderful. loving hard working man. He loves me so much. I hear of Gods healing and can restore this love. How? Why so long when I feel I'm holding on by a thread. We have an amazing 7 year old son. I dont want to tear this family apart. I couldnt ask for a better family. Please I need prayers, advice, testimonys. God has to be for my marriage I just dont understand. I never thought this could happen to me or us. I regret taking advantage of such a wonderful love. More then anything in this world I want it back. I ask for God to make me sick rather then this. My family is my world!
 

LoveGodsWord

Well-Known Member
Jun 5, 2017
22,242
6,634
Queensland
Visit site
✟252,319.00
Country
Australia
Faith
SDA
Marital Status
Married
I feel so attacked I've been fighting for my love in my marriage for 9 months now. I lost it and I pray and ask God to lead me and teach me. To be the wife I need to be. I'm so afraid. I want to fully love my husband again. Its tearing me apart. Hes a wonderful. loving hard working man. He loves me so much. I hear of Gods healing and can restore this love. How? Why so long when I feel I'm holding on by a thread. We have an amazing 7 year old son. I dont want to tear this family apart. I couldnt ask for a better family. Please I need prayers, advice, testimonys. God has to be for my marriage I just dont understand. I never thought this could happen to me or us. I regret taking advantage of such a wonderful love. More then anything in this world I want it back. I ask for God to make me sick rather then this. My family is my world!
Perhaps you can ask yourself why you married your Husband. Go and do things together and have more intimate personal time. God will help you and guide you if you seek him.

God bless
 
Upvote 0

Carl Emerson

Well-Known Member
Dec 18, 2017
14,667
9,977
78
Auckland
✟376,644.00
Country
New Zealand
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I feel so attacked I've been fighting for my love in my marriage for 9 months now. I lost it and I pray and ask God to lead me and teach me. To be the wife I need to be. I'm so afraid. I want to fully love my husband again. Its tearing me apart. Hes a wonderful. loving hard working man. He loves me so much. I hear of Gods healing and can restore this love. How? Why so long when I feel I'm holding on by a thread. We have an amazing 7 year old son. I dont want to tear this family apart. I couldnt ask for a better family. Please I need prayers, advice, testimonys. God has to be for my marriage I just dont understand. I never thought this could happen to me or us. I regret taking advantage of such a wonderful love. More then anything in this world I want it back. I ask for God to make me sick rather then this. My family is my world!

Are you in fellowship Cassie?

Can you seek out some prayer support?

Do you pray and share a common faith together ?

My favourite definition of Love, is it is a decision to do the right thing. (not a feeling) So I would forget the lack of feeling and simply choose to be a good wife... The feelings will follow.
 
Upvote 0

NerdGirl

The untamed daughter
Apr 14, 2020
2,651
3,104
USA
✟65,654.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Not long ago, you were posting about how you'd fallen madly in love with your husband again, and were so blissfully happy and thankful and everything was amazing.

This sounds almost like a mood swing. From elation to despair, within a matter of days, and without anything actually being different in your situation.

I would recommend maybe talking to a therapist to try and sort out your feelings, as they seem to be a bit all over the place.
 
Upvote 0

public hermit

social troglodyte
Supporter
Aug 20, 2019
10,972
12,054
East Coast
✟830,807.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I dont want to tear this family apart

That particular line is alarming. It sounds like you're trying to hold yourself back from doing what you know you shouldn't. Get your head on right, Cassie. Don't play games with your family. This is probably not a problem unless you make it one. If you have already done it, repent and get your head on right. Seriously.
 
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
. I lost it

Yet nerdgirl wrote that you were posting about having an amazing love for your husband.

Please sit down and think, when did you have this wonderful love and when did you loose it?
What else was going on in your life that contributed to this?
Have you sought help from anyone?
Have you talked to your husband about this?

Feeling are not switched on and off like a light switch not unless something is wrong so are you prepared to seek help?
 
Upvote 0

tturt

Senior Veteran
Supporter
Oct 30, 2006
15,760
7,236
✟789,100.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Please stop praying for sickness.

Our marriage vows dont say "I feel" but "I WILL" It's determination - .with God's help

God is for your marriage and family Afterall, narriage and family- His ideas.

Encourage you to set aside fear. Watch "Marriage Today" Those televised programs are on Daystar.

Plus their website marriagetoday.com/category/tv-episodes/ has probably 60 free episodes including "What a man really needs" and 'What a woman really needs" by Jimmy Evan's ministries. All teachings are Biblically based. Plus there's books, videos, etc. He was recently interviewed on Joni: Table Table for 4 sessions about his book "The Four Laws of Love." Think those can still be viewed.

There's hundreds on youtube.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
What is it that makes you think you don't fully love him? Is it that fresh gooey feeling of being "head over heels" that you're missing?
I know thats wrong but possibly. I had it for all those years. I fear change and I've never experienced this before. Its hard to accept in a way. The verse "behold I'm doing a new thing" has come up a lot the past few months. I feel God is showing me what love is. When I fight that is when I feel like I need to run which is awful and I know thats not right. It creates fear but I know thats not of God. I asked God last year to bring me back to him and renew my faith. Shortly after that this happened and I felt so broken the only place to go was him.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Please stop praying for sickness.

Our marriage vows dont say "I feel" but "I WILL" It's determination - .with God's help

God is for your marriage and family Afterall, narriage and family- His ideas.

Encourage you to set aside fear. Watch "Marriage Today" Those televised programs are on Daystar.

Plus their website marriagetoday.com/category/tv-episodes/ has probably 60 free episodes including "What a man really needs" and 'What a woman really needs" by Jimmy Evan's ministries. All teachings are Biblically based. Plus there's books, videos, etc. He was recently interviewed on Joni: Table Table for 4 sessions about his book "The Four Laws of Love." Think those can still be viewed.
Thank you for the information. I know I have a lot to learn. Gods showing me. Theres a lot of work he has been changing in me first that I really needed to change and grow.
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: tturt
Upvote 0

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Not long ago, you were posting about how you'd fallen madly in love with your husband again, and were so blissfully happy and thankful and everything was amazing.

This sounds almost like a mood swing. From elation to despair, within a matter of days, and without anything actually being different in your situation.

I would recommend maybe talking to a therapist to try and sort out your feelings, as they seem to be a bit all over the place.
I know. Its so up and down. I've tried medications through this and I do have a therapist. I was "normal" for lack of words all through our marriage. We did move a lot I did build up a lot of resentment over the years because I didnt feel I was getting respect for being a stay at home mom. We moved to Arizona and back to NJ which I really didnt want. I never communicated and just let him lead. Maybe this is build up over the years and I didnt recognize it to the point that I broke? On better days I felt like I wanted to declare victory because I know God has already won this batter even when I dont fully feel it
 
Upvote 0

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Are you in fellowship Cassie?

Can you seek out some prayer support?

Do you pray and share a common faith together ?

My favourite definition of Love, is it is a decision to do the right thing. (not a feeling) So I would forget the lack of feeling and simply choose to be a good wife... The feelings will follow.
I am involved with church and have tons of prayer support thankfully.

He believes but isnt fully into the faith as I am. And I know thats ok.
 
Upvote 0

NerdGirl

The untamed daughter
Apr 14, 2020
2,651
3,104
USA
✟65,654.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I know. Its so up and down. I've tried medications through this and I do have a therapist. I was "normal" for lack of words all through our marriage. We did move a lot I did build up a lot of resentment over the years because I didnt feel I was getting respect for being a stay at home mom. We moved to Arizona and back to NJ which I really didnt want. I never communicated and just let him lead. Maybe this is build up over the years and I didnt recognize it to the point that I broke? On better days I felt like I wanted to declare victory because I know God has already won this batter even when I dont fully feel it

Silent resentment is a poison. I'm glad you're in therapy, and I hope part of that is learning how speak up for your wants, needs, wishes, and thoughts.
 
Upvote 0

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Silent resentment is a poison. I'm glad you're in therapy, and I hope part of that is learning how speak up for your wants, needs, wishes, and thoughts.
I've learned that the hard way. But I'm learning to work on forgiveness everyday. Bible verses recently thats been coming up all talks about forgiveness.
 
  • Prayers
Reactions: NerdGirl
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
What is it that makes you think you don't fully love him? Is it that fresh gooey feeling of being "head over heels" that you're missing?
I dont know if its possible but I had a lot of resentment towards him and anger of how I was always on the back burner in many situatiuons and decisions. Maybe I let them build up so long that its clouding my love for him. I dont know I'm still learning. Its hard to see when your depressed over it. I just keep looking to the cross. giving it to him each day to heal us and clean up in us the mess we have made
 
  • Prayers
Reactions: justtrance
Upvote 0

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Love is a decision, you can do this, chose love. Praying for you and your family
I know. I'm holding onto Gods words and promises. I know hes for my family. Even though I cannot see I know hes working. I look up at the cross. This will pass and I'm sure my marriage will be stronger then ever. I wont loose hope. I choose Gods story in my life not my own... not my thoughts but his
 
Upvote 0

Joined2krist

Well-Known Member
CF Ambassadors
Supporter
Jul 15, 2015
3,403
2,586
✟427,048.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Single
I know. I'm holding onto Gods words and promises. I know hes for my family. Even though I cannot see I know hes working. I look up at the cross. This will pass and I'm sure my marriage will be stronger then ever. I wont loose hope. I choose Gods story in my life not my own... not my thoughts but his


Hang in there luv God will not fail you. God bless
 
  • Friendly
Reactions: bèlla
Upvote 0

Cassie Gardner

Active Member
Nov 8, 2020
34
56
42
Egg Harbor City
✟17,246.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hang in there luv God will not fail you. God bless
I know in the dark moments I keep my eyes on him I can feel his hope and promises in my heart. I have a lot of people who look to me to help them follow Jesus. I know he will not put me to shame. I know not because of my works but his they will see the glory of Gods promises and his healing within me through him. I aways prayed that others could see God work in me and in my family. Maybe this is a wat hes doing it but he had to clean up the mess first. I know I will look back at this in thankfulness for my trial even though its extremley hard but its to God I give my glory and only because of him I am saved. Hes for my marriage and he will heal us more then I could imagine
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Petros2015

Well-Known Member
Jun 23, 2016
5,088
4,321
52
undisclosed Bunker
✟287,661.00
Country
United States
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
There's a book called "The Love Dare" I would recommend - daily readings together on loving each other and the meaning of Christian love, along with exercises and good thoughtful commentary. You might like it and it might help.
 
Upvote 0