my (un)usual way to become orthodox - search for contacts who accept me :)

KisKatte

Jesus, send us your Holy Spirit.
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A user here wrote about her way to become orthodox, especially church history, the arguments, the prayers of orthodox church amon other arguments. Then I dicided to join to tell my story. But then I remembered that I also would like to know more orthodox people or priests even who can help me to lead me and accept me as I am :). So here is my story. If you still want to do with me please write me. I am 37 years old. Same age or older would be nice :)

So here is my story.

I have an maybe very usual but maybe unusual way to join the orthodox church. The whole thing of my life happened as I was an adult. I was bapticized orthodox as a child but there was absolutely no education towards church. As a child I found it fascinating like the people join together, spend their precious time to pray together in the church, honoring the perfect HUMAN being Jesus.....

When I grew up I still believed in God but all my contacts told me God does not exist. Once I was not really convinced but was told to say God does not exist. I did. Since then problems occured. I felt like dying, although my faith was not strong and whole of my soul was functioning like the soul of an atheist. I was studying philosophy with the jesuits university, where freemasons told me they will kill me and attacked me in the subway. It was God's grace that a "small" wonder happened and God protected me. But since then years passed they still search conctact with me and attack me with black magic. Nobody would ever believe what I could tell.

I started during my university trip studying scripture but also Quran. My father told me to compare islam, buddhism and christianity what it makes with the soul just for learning writing philosophically. I found out that it seemed that Islam is more peaceful for the soul than christianity. I forgot how I found it out. But I started to pray 5 Times a day to test if God exists. Like the muslims do. I also promised to God the muslim promise "baptization" from muslims but in my own way! I just promised to God I will live as if He would exist. During this prayers soon a vision of Jesus appeared to me. Jesus was calling me. When the freemasons attacked me I ran to confession to our monk in our monastery because I thought I will dy soon!!! Not that I was really believing. A source of light came through my body during confession and God protected my PHYSICALLY from the attack in the subway next day, from a man that was tall and fat and extremely more big than me. He ran into my legs with his legs, my legs standing there freely, not concentrated, but the thing happened, my legs were not moving one milimeter!!! HE FELL TO EARTH and was afraid to attack me again. I felt like a metallic rock, protected and standing there!!!

Than still I was not christian enough. I knew now God exists but then something strange happened. God started sending me rememberings of my past lifes, especially my sins from past lifes! And the rememberings also concerned Jesus, GOD Jesus, how I met him in earlier lifes! God personally told me that He is God, not a human being. With an alternate explanation, that will maybe be considered heretic I started to understand Jesus is God. Still I could not get rid of my sins and did not listen to the church! From this point in my life now(!) I know I should better be guided by the orthodox church. Everytime I did not listen I had to regret this. So I really still do not know nothing about this holy spirit thing that really lives in the orthodox church. I am attached to it and God leads me there again and again. I fell into depression because of my sins and I thought I will never receive communion. But from time to time God allows me this and then I am so happy.

God saved me also from suicide when I wanted to jump from 15th floor several times. He started talking to me and revealed me a present he gave me already several times, it is a wonderful thing but it has teachings in it about reincarnation(not the main message) and so the church would judge me maybe not to believe this. I still sometimes confess my sins from former lifes in the confession and my confession priest knows about the present. I wrote everything down in plain text. I have now 2 priests and one bishop who accept my believes in reincarnation. In the middle of the orthodox church I found my home. And yes the above arguments about the orthodox church I already knew since ever. But really people the Holy Spirit is present there that even esoteric people like me are attached to the church. Try it out yourself.

:)) If somebdy wants to read the revelation God told me to stop me from suicide or a priest you can write me personally. I am about to write a fantasy book about it. But I think I will tell it only people who are already really grounded in strong faith in Jesus being God and so on, so that nobody will be led away from the chruch by reading my revealing!
 

KisKatte

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For the moment I am going through difficulties in my "platonic" (not really but we behave!) relationship with my monk. We are together for 12 years now. So I found peace in praying. I was really suffering. But suddenly I am more peaceful and I wait for the results of the prayers???? I do not know. He does not want to talk to me for the next 3 weeks.

I looked a lot of films about the athos monks on the mountain athos..... it really touched me and I again started to use the Jesus prayer more often during daytime :)). I also took communion last saturday. I was so happy. It was a long time I did not partake in the holy eucharist.
 
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KisKatte

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@ArmyMatt thank you so much!

First of all to answer your question. As far as I understood the basic princip is NOT AT ALL like the buddhists do. Everybody will be saved some day. The basic princip is only the POSSIBILITY for reincarnation, not a basic rule! For God the Almighty everything is possible.

But it seems after all I experieneced buddhists are not THAT wrong. It seems like most of the people reincarnate here on earth for a long time. There is a high frequency of reincarnation, although it is only a possibility not a rule. For sure I do not know but really this I only know because of the present God gave me. The reincarnation message was only packed accordingly, to the main message was not about reincarnation. Reincarnation was important for me but on the main way someday it becomes irrelevant, not valid, not important if yes or no.
 
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ArmyMatt

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@ArmyMatt thank you so much!

First of all to answer your question. As far as I understood the basic princip is NOT AT ALL like the buddhists do. Everybody will be saved some day. The basic princip is only the POSSIBILITY for reincarnation, not a basic rule! For God the Almighty everything is possible.

But it seems after all I experieneced buddhists are not THAT wrong. It seems like most of the people reincarnate here on earth for a long time. There is a high frequency of reincarnation, although it is only a possibility not a rule. For sure I do not know but really this I only know because of the present God gave me. The reincarnation message was only packed accordingly, to the main message was not about reincarnation. Reincarnation was important for me but on the main way someday it becomes irrelevant, not valid, not important if yes or no.

hmmm, I don't think so though, because it's YOUR soul and YOUR body that make you, well, you. reincarnation would be, even if a possibility, your soul in a body. that cuts against what it means to be human.
 
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KisKatte

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If I am not wrong, wasn't it Father Seraphim Rose who wrote how the soul leaves the body while dying? For me for example it is a good thing that the soul can change body and become more beautiful.

It is superficial for true men, the beautiness. But for me love is extremely important and most man love more when you are beautiful. Sorry for this superficial message.

This means you are not stuck for ever in your body(but you do not need to change body, God can make your own body new also). Also I do not believe that I will sleep until judgement. I remember several times to have flied to God after death. I believe most of the near death experiences when people met Jesus or God. After death, for me, you fly to God in heaven. And there is decided if you reincarnate again on earth. This is my belief.

Reincarnation would also mean that God does not judge you only for one short life, if you are saved or not. He gives you more opportunities.
 
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KisKatte

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@ArmyMatt What was your way to start believing? I heard that most children believe in God but than forget it, when they are adults. As a child I had a strong belief, even before my parents told me about Jesus...... I had an extraordinary experience with God already as a child :) But when I was older I did not take it serious anymore.
 
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ArmyMatt

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If I am not wrong, wasn't it Father Seraphim Rose who wrote how the soul leaves the body while dying? For me for example it is a good thing that the soul can change body and become more beautiful.

It is superficial for true men, the beautiness. But for me love is extremely important and most man love more when you are beautiful. Sorry for this superficial message.

This means you are not stuck for ever in your body(but you do not need to change body, God can make your own body new also). Also I do not believe that I will sleep until judgement. I remember several times to have flied to God after death. I believe most of the near death experiences when people met Jesus or God. After death, for me, you fly to God in heaven. And there is decided if you reincarnate again on earth. This is my belief.

Reincarnation would also mean that God does not judge you only for one short life, if you are saved or not. He gives you more opportunities.

yes, the soul leaves the body, but that's until the Resurrection when your soul will return to your body, not another one.

every day God gives us everything we need to be saved, so even a short life is enough.
 
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KisKatte

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Well I do not identyfy that much with my body. I know that God can change my body to another appearance, make it more healthy and so on and God can also give me another body :). It is only a body. For me it is like this.

Yes maybe one short life would be enough. That is true. I am not here to argument for reincarnation, because it was not an intellectual decision to know about this. Just my experience with God put me in that position.

Before this experience I would never ever believe in reincarnation, not even the possibility of it. I was not a logical person, and it seemed too unnormal to believe such things.
 
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Lukaris

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Perhaps a good approach to take is that the time is now for salvation ( John 9:4-5).Take stock of what you have learned & sift through it ( Philippians 4:8, 1 Thessalonians 5:21-23 etc.). Have hope for yourself and your neighbor ( 1 Timothy 2:1, 1 Corinthians 13:13 etc.).
 
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KisKatte

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well, the truth or falsehood of reincarnation is based on what the Church teaches, not personal opinion. and the Church says no.
Yes the church says no. But I asked God why the church says no and He replied that it is His will and told me why the church says no :)
 
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ArmyMatt

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Yes the church says no. But I asked God why the church says no and He replied that it is His will and told me why the church says no :)

so if the Church says no, the answer is no.
 
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KisKatte

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no not necesseraliy. For me most people should not believe in reincarnation, it is not good for them. God explained me why He wants church to teach otherwise.

But for you maybe if church says no, than you say no, that is exactly what God wants from you.
 
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Lukaris

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You might want carefully read all of John 3 & 1 Corinthians 15.

“Because of Adam’s transgression the Savior became man, so that by nullifying the sentence passed on us He might resurrect all of us.”

St. Thalassios ( 4th c. of texts) ( 600s AD) Philokalia vol.2 #52
 
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