I am looking for spiritual help and guidance and answers to my questions. My request is for mature men and women of God only who have a true connection with Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is spiritual "meat" I say this because what I have to say may require God to speak through you to answer. That's my only reason for saying this.
Let's get started. I was baptized with the Holy Spirit when the heavens opened up and the Holy Spirit came down as a dove into me. I saw the Holy Spirit face to face.
I did not grow up in a religious home. I found Jesus on my own without church.
I was 16 at the time, I am now 27 years old. I have seen Jesus Christ probably about 9 times since the age of 16.
The problem I am having right now is this... I havent seen him or been with him in the last probably 3 years. Did I fall into a curse? No. Did I go my own way into a world of sin? No.
Ok so its been 3 years. Whats the problem? My problem is is I only know how to have a relationship with God if we're together. I dont know anything else.
I feel like me and God are in this long distant relationship like hes in another state. I call his phone, he dont pick up. I send him text messages he dont reply. I write him letters and he doesnt write back. I felt like this for years and years. And I disnt give up but right now I feel like I'm about to give up.
I wish I could just be a normal Christian who is content with just prayer and reading the bible and going to church. And is happy with just "feeling" his presence and thats it. I tried so hard to be like that.
But I cant its like its not me or for me to live like that with God. And I hate that so much because I just wanna be happy with God.
Another thing is, dont get me wrong I am not a satanist or some new age person. I know very well the dangers in all those things. I understand spiritual warfare very well. I even seen Satan face to face. The beast himself. In full natural form. As unnatural as that sounds...
But riddle me this, why is it so dang easy to see demons? I'm not kidding give me 24 hours and I'll have a story to tell.
But seeing angels? Super hard.
Seeing Jesus? Super hard.
Seeing devils? Easy.
Why is this? I mean if God is so available. Why is it so difficult? Its funny hearing this from someone who seen God 9 times huh?
This is where i am. Please help me because I'm at a place where if i dont truly have God in my life. It's either i have him or i dont have him. No middle spot is open for me. I want him supernaturally not in any other way. I dont wanna read my bible alone, I want to be with him as he teaches me the bible. I dont want to pray alone and never hear from him. I want to pray and God speak back. I want a relationship that is alive. Not where i am the only one that is communicating with him in everyday. But hes not doing anything with me.
Let's get started. I was baptized with the Holy Spirit when the heavens opened up and the Holy Spirit came down as a dove into me. I saw the Holy Spirit face to face.
I did not grow up in a religious home. I found Jesus on my own without church.
I was 16 at the time, I am now 27 years old. I have seen Jesus Christ probably about 9 times since the age of 16.
The problem I am having right now is this... I havent seen him or been with him in the last probably 3 years. Did I fall into a curse? No. Did I go my own way into a world of sin? No.
Ok so its been 3 years. Whats the problem? My problem is is I only know how to have a relationship with God if we're together. I dont know anything else.
I feel like me and God are in this long distant relationship like hes in another state. I call his phone, he dont pick up. I send him text messages he dont reply. I write him letters and he doesnt write back. I felt like this for years and years. And I disnt give up but right now I feel like I'm about to give up.
I wish I could just be a normal Christian who is content with just prayer and reading the bible and going to church. And is happy with just "feeling" his presence and thats it. I tried so hard to be like that.
But I cant its like its not me or for me to live like that with God. And I hate that so much because I just wanna be happy with God.
Another thing is, dont get me wrong I am not a satanist or some new age person. I know very well the dangers in all those things. I understand spiritual warfare very well. I even seen Satan face to face. The beast himself. In full natural form. As unnatural as that sounds...
But riddle me this, why is it so dang easy to see demons? I'm not kidding give me 24 hours and I'll have a story to tell.
But seeing angels? Super hard.
Seeing Jesus? Super hard.
Seeing devils? Easy.
Why is this? I mean if God is so available. Why is it so difficult? Its funny hearing this from someone who seen God 9 times huh?
This is where i am. Please help me because I'm at a place where if i dont truly have God in my life. It's either i have him or i dont have him. No middle spot is open for me. I want him supernaturally not in any other way. I dont wanna read my bible alone, I want to be with him as he teaches me the bible. I dont want to pray alone and never hear from him. I want to pray and God speak back. I want a relationship that is alive. Not where i am the only one that is communicating with him in everyday. But hes not doing anything with me.