What's the best way to deal with church hurt? How to heal broken relationships and move on from hurts? Church hurt seems to go deeper than any other hurt... The broken relationships/broken fellowship are sad. Would like those to be dealt with...
Hurts than linger are invariably a result of unforgiveness. Sometimes it is impossible for us to forgive, yet we cannot be at peace until we do. This link is to an article that is the best teaching ever on the subject. It is the real answer to a real problem. Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life FrankstonWhat's the best way to deal with church hurt? How to heal broken relationships and move on from hurts? Church hurt seems to go deeper than any other hurt... The broken relationships/broken fellowship are sad. Would like those to be dealt with...
There's a lot of baloney and history I could give you here. But the tl;dr of it is that I struggled with this same thing years ago.What's the best way to deal with church hurt? How to heal broken relationships and move on from hurts? Church hurt seems to go deeper than any other hurt... The broken relationships/broken fellowship are sad. Would like those to be dealt with...
Depends on how wide that wound is, and how long it takes depends on how deep that wound is.What's the best way to deal with church hurt? How to heal broken relationships and move on from hurts? Church hurt seems to go deeper than any other hurt... The broken relationships/broken fellowship are sad. Would like those to be dealt with...
What's the best way to deal with church hurt? How to heal broken relationships and move on from hurts? Church hurt seems to go deeper than any other hurt... The broken relationships/broken fellowship are sad. Would like those to be dealt with...
Easy to do right?
What's the best way to deal with church hurt? How to heal broken relationships and move on from hurts? Church hurt seems to go deeper than any other hurt... The broken relationships/broken fellowship are sad. Would like those to be dealt with...
Yes forgiveness is easy to do once you realise what the word means.Easy to do right?
Yes forgiveness is easy to do once you realise what the word means.
Unfortunately in the English language, we all associate the word forgiveness with having to first feel good about it.I
This is probably the most.encouraging post I ever read on here. Thanks so much
That's why so many people say they cannot forgive, because it hurts too much, the pain is still too raw, etc.
So in the west, forgiveness is invariably linked to feelings, but that's not what the scriptures mean when it uses that word.
Aphiemi is the original Greek word usually translated as "forgive".
Here's what Strong's Concordance tells us-
aphiémi: to send away, leave alone, permit
Original Word: ἀφίημι
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: aphiémi
Phonetic Spelling: (af-ee'-ay-mee)
Definition: to send away, leave alone, permit
Usage: (a) I send away, (b) I let go, release, permit to depart, (c) I remit, forgive, (d) I permit, suffer.
As can be seen, there is no associated baggage of emotion anywhere in the definition.
In English bibles, forgive and forgiveness are really crappy translations because of how we see those words being used daily.
In my view, it would be far better to translate the Greek word Aphiemi with such as Forego, Let go, Release, Send away, Give up etc.
When Jesus says he cannot forgive our sins till we forgive others, it makes no sense given the compassionate nature of Jesus, nor does it balance with the concept of grace not works. Its almost like Jesus is being petulant in refusing to forgive us until we jump through some hoop or other. I've seen it many times where people are desperately trying to list all their misdemeanours in order to placate Christ's wrath!
But once you realise that forgiveness is a judicial decision, not an emotional one, then what Jesus says falls into place.
If we have been badly hurt by anyone, our suffering tells us that that person owes us something. That might be an apology, reimbursement of damages, etc. or even a lost childhood. (How can that be repaid by the perpetrator)
All the time we look on that person to recompense us, it's like we have a chain around them holding them spiritually captive until they pay in full.
However, we fail to notice that the chain we throw around them, also shackles us to them.
So when Jesus says he can not forgive us till we forgive them, it can be better understood as, "I cannot set you free, till you release your hold on that rope"
For those who are still suffering within themselves from abuse in the past, forgiving your abuser is a judicial decision that will set you free, and enable the Lord to pour out his healing balm into your hearts. It has nothing to do with your emotions and pains.
Don't waste a day more waiting for the pain to stop so you can forgive. Issue that declaration of forgiveness before the Lord in order for that pain to stop.
This doesn't have to be done in front of the person who caused the pain, this is done before the Lord.
"Lord, I bring Tom Dick Harry, my boss, my pastor, the government, before you. I am angry/upset/hurting deeply inside/ but I choose before you to let them go (ie. forgive). I no longer seek recompense from them to heal me. I open my heart so that you can deal with me as your own son/daughter.!
Every time the thoughts or pain comes back, then let go again, and again, and again etc.
And finally, in the words of a well known teacher, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
focusYes forgiveness is easy to do once you realise what the word means.
Unfortunately in the English language, we all associate the word forgiveness with having to first feel good about it.
That's why so many people say they cannot forgive, because it hurts too much, the pain is still too raw, etc.
So in the west, forgiveness is invariably linked to feelings, but that's not what the scriptures mean when it uses that word.
Aphiemi is the original Greek word usually translated as "forgive".
Here's what Strong's Concordance tells us-
aphiémi: to send away, leave alone, permit
Original Word: ἀφίημι
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: aphiémi
Phonetic Spelling: (af-ee'-ay-mee)
Definition: to send away, leave alone, permit
Usage: (a) I send away, (b) I let go, release, permit to depart, (c) I remit, forgive, (d) I permit, suffer.
As can be seen, there is no associated baggage of emotion anywhere in the definition.
In English bibles, forgive and forgiveness are really crappy translations because of how we see those words being used daily.
In my view, it would be far better to translate the Greek word Aphiemi with such as Forego, Let go, Release, Send away, Give up etc.
When Jesus says he cannot forgive our sins till we forgive others, it makes no sense given the compassionate nature of Jesus, nor does it balance with the concept of grace not works. Its almost like Jesus is being petulant in refusing to forgive us until we jump through some hoop or other. I've seen it many times where people are desperately trying to list all their misdemeanours in order to placate Christ's wrath!
But once you realise that forgiveness is a judicial decision, not an emotional one, then what Jesus says falls into place.
If we have been badly hurt by anyone, our suffering tells us that that person owes us something. That might be an apology, reimbursement of damages, etc. or even a lost childhood. (How can that be repaid by the perpetrator)
All the time we look on that person to recompense us, it's like we have a chain around them holding them spiritually captive until they pay in full.
However, we fail to notice that the chain we throw around them, also shackles us to them.
So when Jesus says he can not forgive us till we forgive them, it can be better understood as, "I cannot set you free, till you release your hold on that rope"
For those who are still suffering within themselves from abuse in the past, forgiving your abuser is a judicial decision that will set you free, and enable the Lord to pour out his healing balm into your hearts. It has nothing to do with your emotions and pains.
Don't waste a day more waiting for the pain to stop so you can forgive. Issue that declaration of forgiveness before the Lord in order for that pain to stop.
This doesn't have to be done in front of the person who caused the pain, this is done before the Lord.
"Lord, I bring Tom Dick Harry, my boss, my pastor, the government, before you. I am angry/upset/hurting deeply inside/ but I choose before you to let them go (ie. forgive). I no longer seek recompense from them to heal me. I open my heart so that you can deal with me as your own son/daughter.!
Every time the thoughts or pain comes back, then let go again, and again, and again etc.
And finally, in the words of a well known teacher, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
“Take every thought captive to obey Christ” thankyouYes forgiveness is easy to do once you realise what the word means.
Unfortunately in the English language, we all associate the word forgiveness with having to first feel good about it.
That's why so many people say they cannot forgive, because it hurts too much, the pain is still too raw, etc.
So in the west, forgiveness is invariably linked to feelings, but that's not what the scriptures mean when it uses that word.
Aphiemi is the original Greek word usually translated as "forgive".
Here's what Strong's Concordance tells us-
aphiémi: to send away, leave alone, permit
Original Word: ἀφίημι
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: aphiémi
Phonetic Spelling: (af-ee'-ay-mee)
Definition: to send away, leave alone, permit
Usage: (a) I send away, (b) I let go, release, permit to depart, (c) I remit, forgive, (d) I permit, suffer.
As can be seen, there is no associated baggage of emotion anywhere in the definition.
In English bibles, forgive and forgiveness are really crappy translations because of how we see those words being used daily.
In my view, it would be far better to translate the Greek word Aphiemi with such as Forego, Let go, Release, Send away, Give up etc.
When Jesus says he cannot forgive our sins till we forgive others, it makes no sense given the compassionate nature of Jesus, nor does it balance with the concept of grace not works. Its almost like Jesus is being petulant in refusing to forgive us until we jump through some hoop or other. I've seen it many times where people are desperately trying to list all their misdemeanours in order to placate Christ's wrath!
But once you realise that forgiveness is a judicial decision, not an emotional one, then what Jesus says falls into place.
If we have been badly hurt by anyone, our suffering tells us that that person owes us something. That might be an apology, reimbursement of damages, etc. or even a lost childhood. (How can that be repaid by the perpetrator)
All the time we look on that person to recompense us, it's like we have a chain around them holding them spiritually captive until they pay in full.
However, we fail to notice that the chain we throw around them, also shackles us to them.
So when Jesus says he can not forgive us till we forgive them, it can be better understood as, "I cannot set you free, till you release your hold on that rope"
For those who are still suffering within themselves from abuse in the past, forgiving your abuser is a judicial decision that will set you free, and enable the Lord to pour out his healing balm into your hearts. It has nothing to do with your emotions and pains.
Don't waste a day more waiting for the pain to stop so you can forgive. Issue that declaration of forgiveness before the Lord in order for that pain to stop.
This doesn't have to be done in front of the person who caused the pain, this is done before the Lord.
"Lord, I bring Tom Dick Harry, my boss, my pastor, the government, before you. I am angry/upset/hurting deeply inside/ but I choose before you to let them go (ie. forgive). I no longer seek recompense from them to heal me. I open my heart so that you can deal with me as your own son/daughter.!
Every time the thoughts or pain comes back, then let go again, and again, and again etc.
And finally, in the words of a well known teacher, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Absolutely.“Take every thought captive to obey Christ” thankyou
A couple of days after I was (very wrongly) publicly denounced and thrown out of my church, a good friend gave me this book-Just some books that might help:
Healing Spiritual Abuse: How to Break Free from Bad Church Experience
by Ken M. Blue
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The
by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen
When God's People Let You Down: How to Rise Above Hurts That Often Occur Within the Church Paperback – May 1, 1995
by Jeffrey Vanvonderen (Author)
Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
by Lewis B. Smedes
I recommend these books because God used all of them in my process of healing. You can always go to Amazon and look up books on Spiritual Abuse and Forgiveness. The process can be painful but if you allow Him, God will bring you through to the other side healed, renewed, restored, and strengthened in your Faith.
Just some books that might help:
Healing Spiritual Abuse: How to Break Free from Bad Church Experience
by Ken M. Blue
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The
by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen
When God's People Let You Down: How to Rise Above Hurts That Often Occur Within the Church Paperback – May 1, 1995
by Jeffrey Vanvonderen (Author)
Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
by Lewis B. Smedes
I recommend these books because God used all of them in my process of healing. You can always go to Amazon and look up books on Spiritual Abuse and Forgiveness. The process can be painful but if you allow Him, God will bring you through to the other side healed, renewed, restored, and strengthened in your Faith.