Would you date someone who wasn't Christian?

[Will Joseph]

He or she is one of the most attractive people whom you ever met.

Would you date him or her?
What if he or she was the last potential partner on earth?
Would you try to convert him or her?
What if he or she was of another religion?
What if he or she was a Satanist?

The rest of this post is my response to the question.

I think that I would only date someone who wasn't Christian if she were the last potential partner on earth. A lot of criminals abuse love affairs and my religion is a great defense against crime. If she's the last potential partner on earth, then I'd definitely date if she's an atheist because I feel an atheist is easy to convert. I might not date if she's from another religion, depending on how large her family is and how much she'd respect Christianity. So I probably would never date a Satanist. I'd rather wait for a woman to be crafted from my rib. Luckily Christian women already exist!

 

[splish- splash]

This is where I'd ask for the Grace to remain single for life as Paul was.

 

[Goodhuman]

I would date anyone, I don't want she to become like me, but me like her.
Yes, there are christian women, according to if they are baptized. But if your criteria is low, then anybody can be your wife, if your criteria is high better not try to find one, you will not success, but better go to monastery and wait reward from God for your monastic life in afterlife!

 

[Broken Fence]

None of your business. Plain and simple. Paul says your spouse is sanctified through your belief.

 

[Goodhuman]

This is where I'd ask for the Grace to remain single for life as Paul was.

Paul was also sexually pure.

 

[IntriKate]

He or she is one of the most attractive people whom you ever met.

Would you date him or her?
What if he or she was the last potential partner on earth?
Would you try to convert him or her?
What if he or she was of another religion?
What if he or she was a Satanist?

The rest of this post is my response to the question.

I think that I would only date someone who wasn't Christian if she were the last potential partner on earth. A lot of criminals abuse love affairs and my religion is a great defense against crime. If she's the last potential partner on earth, then I'd definitely date if she's an atheist because I feel an atheist is easy to convert. I might not date if she's from another religion, depending on how large her family is and how much she'd respect Christianity. So I probably would never date a Satanist. I'd rather wait for a woman to be crafted from my rib. Luckily Christian women already exist!

There was a time when it didn't matter to me if a partner was also Christian. But now i realise after failed attempts that i need and want someone who i can be spiritually free with and to share the walk and share Jesus. Life's to short to waste it with someone who isn't compatible in the most important area.

 

[Miles]

Would I date a non-Christian? Not likely. Far less likely than for me to date a Christian, and even among Christians it's unusual for me to find someone I want to date. I'm not looking for a super-Christian. Just someone I get along well enough with and shares a few basic underlying principles. Principles that are uncommon among those who don't know Jesus. Although there are non-Christian women out there who might otherwise be my type, our underlying values are too different. Given the option, I'm better off single.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I would only date a christian and they would have to blow me away with their faith. The rest of the potential spouses wouldn't be up to par. I need someone all in on God. I don't care about how they look. This by the way is a much different approach than my last one when I was focused more on looks and they cheated on me and separated me from God.

 

[MehGuy]

Nope.. no way.

 

[sampa]

He or she is one of the most attractive people whom you ever met.

Would you date him or her?
What if he or she was the last potential partner on earth?
Would you try to convert him or her?
What if he or she was of another religion?
What if he or she was a Satanist?

The rest of this post is my response to the question.

I think that I would only date someone who wasn't Christian if she were the last potential partner on earth. A lot of criminals abuse love affairs and my religion is a great defense against crime. If she's the last potential partner on earth, then I'd definitely date if she's an atheist because I feel an atheist is easy to convert. I might not date if she's from another religion, depending on how large her family is and how much she'd respect Christianity. So I probably would never date a Satanist. I'd rather wait for a woman to be crafted from my rib. Luckily Christian women already exist!

Honestly I never go in with the intention of dating someone that is not a believer. There are fruits in the end reveal them that I usually end up having to break off the relationship or the Lord intervenes in some way that we are separated. I'm still fasting and praying through that my attraction becomes much healthier. I have struggled with unhealthy attractions for a long time. Which is why I remain single and have never been married and one boyfriend (2mths) in 28 years. There have definitely been some healthy Christian guys attracted and pursued me in the past but the mutual attraction has not been there. Which drives me crazy because I love the Lord with all my heart and I should be attracted to the same. So in the end I think my final answer would be that I would remain single, as this has been a consistent pattern even when I felt like I was losing my life.

 

[Sketcher]

She would have to be a Christian. If for some reason she turned out not to be a Christian, she would have to convert, it's that simple. I would however, prefer someone who has been a Christian for several-or-more years.

 

[RayofSun]

With a clear head, right at this moment I definitely don't think I would date someone who isn't a Christian. Especially being in a relationship now with someone who is such a strong Christian I see the amazing things God does when we're together.

But I also feel rather hypocritical voting that I wouldn't as I have dated someone who wasn't Christian before and it was a great relationship. Was it tough at times? yes. But in the end still really good. Could things have worked long term though? No, and that's mainly due to faith difference.

 

[splish- splash]

Paul was also sexually pure.

Yup! That's exactly how it should be .

 

[JustSomeBloke]

I have struggled with unhealthy attractions for a long time.

Unhealthy in what way? Attraction to Non-Christians? Attraction to men who would not treat you as a godly husband should? Something else entirely?

There have definitely been some healthy Christian guys attracted and pursued me in the past but the mutual attraction has not been there.

What kind of attraction was missing? The aesthetic kind? The way you would like to be wooed and romanced? Something else?

I have often heard Christian women lament that there are no marriageable men in the church, and I have never really worked out what that means.

 

[Rest]

Unhealthy in what way? Attraction to Non-Christians? Attraction to men who would not treat you as a godly husband should? Something else entirely?


What kind of attraction was missing? The aesthetic kind? The way you would like to be wooed and romanced? Something else?

I have often heard Christian women lament that there are no marriageable men in the church, and I have never really worked out what that means.

That they're already married perhaps

 

[radhead]

I chose the first option because none of the others really fit. I didn't become a Christian until 2018, yet I was posting here 10-15 years ago and *believed* that I was a Christian at the time. I knew that I wanted to be one. I had grown up in the church, but had never really been saved before.

I left here in 2010 and became an Agnostic for a long time. I understand how those people think because that's how I used to be. But generally, I think that if someone desires to be a Christian then that is a good sign.

 

[sampa]

Unhealthy in what way? Attraction to Non-Christians? Attraction to men who would not treat you as a godly husband should? Something else entirely?


What kind of attraction was missing? The aesthetic kind? The way you would like to be wooed and romanced? Something else?

I have often heard Christian women lament that there are no marriageable men in the church, and I have never really worked out what that means.

Thanks for asking. In the 28 years that I have been a Christian usually a common thread was alcohol. Possibly sexual addiction. Men that have left the church (2-3), that might have been leaders before but possibly not born again. Premarital sex has never been an option and I usually have had pretty good boundaries.

I think some of my strongest attractions were INFJ. The last one was an ENTJ (Myer Brigg personality) I was actually kind of intrigued by this because I never imagined I could get along with an extrovert in a possible long-term relationship. I definitely grew from it and had to become more blunt and speak my mind. Over the 28 years
I have only been in a 2-month relationship with one and he was 11 years older than me which was unusual since I usually was to guys is much younger. The boyfriend that I had is another story for another day under extreme circumstances in a call from somebody to help. This last guy I was dating is the first to break things off with me. Usually it's been me breaking off. Or fading away.

As far as healthy Christian guys, I can only refer to the latest example. Back in May there were five guys at one time I was corresponding with. It wasn't intentional but from online dating it just happened that way. I was honest with all of them. They each were ready to take me on a date. One of them even 500 miles away. Two out of the five were speaking truth into my life. The Lord was using them to help give me discernment with the guy that was unhealthy that I was drawing near. I actually kind of felt guilty for my attraction but decided one by one to say goodbye.

One of them that was am missionary kid took the courage to email a day or two later after our date, that we're not a suitable match. I was glad for him because he was taking the right step in closure. But he was doing it with care for me as a sister in Christ. None of the Christians were without issues though, the one I chose just happened to be the most unhealthy and strongly pursuing. So I don't know if that makes any sense? I appreciate all and any prayer. I have spent many years fasting and praying to break any bondages (working on myself and growing in my faith) are in my life creating unhealthy attractions. Sometimes I think these unhealthy attractions have made me a stronger Christian because I had to cling to the Lord with all my soul and all my might to survive in my faith.

 

[sampa]

That they're already married perhaps

None were married. But a few of those were divorced. The first one from 19 -20 years old, we were best friends and I started liking him. I told him we couldn't be best best anymore because he was walking towards darkness. I stayed friends from thousands of miles away. He asked to receive Christ into his life two times with me. Some years later and in college got to go to his wedding in the Carolinas. His fiancee at the time changed her Wiccan beliefs and return to Catholic faith because of his growing Faith over the years. By me breaking things off with him it made him draw closer to the Lord but unfortunately his alcohol was an issue. I broke off contact after their marriage to keep their relationship strong and honor their marriage as a sister in Christ.

 

[philadelphos]

"Sharing a few basic underlying principles/values... knowing Jesus" ...Although there are non-Christian women out there who might otherwise be my type, our underlying values are too different. Given the option, I'm better off single.

I wonder if anyone has noticed that people who claim to be believers often behave as if they were un-believers, anti-Scripture in action, living man made theology/doctrines, i.e. will-worship and doing whatever pleases the self, sometimes at the expense of others. e.g. walking over and betraying family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, and seeing no wrong or evil in doing so, even justifying such bad behaviour. e.g. right wing religious hypocrites. Manipulating Scripture for an agenda, for personal gain.

On the flipside, non-believers who humbly claim to be "irreligious" or "non-religious", I find, are often moderate and practical people, reasonable and analytical people, humble and not presuming to know too much, especially about God and Scripture. Reverent, even. Yet these people often 'believe in God', in a general sense, and have an acute conscience and sense of morality, duty, responsibility, etc, surpassing most I know who study Scripture dogmatically to no avail, failing to grasp "basic principles and values", e.g. to not exploit others, to love your neighbour as yourself, to do unto others as yourself.

Mark 4:12, ‘Seeing they may see and not perceive, And hearing they may hear and not understand; Lest they should turn, And their sins be forgiven them.’

This is the irony, predicament, and truth. - So I feel that 'labels' are dangerously misleading, resulting in disappointment and misery. Instead it's better to judge a person by their deeds, how they live, how they treat the people around them, as a truer depiction of their heart, and what one can reasonably expect in a life-time partnership with such a character.

Matthew 7:16, "Ye shall know them by their fruits."

 

[philadelphos]

Honestly I never go in with the intention of dating someone that is not a believer. There are fruits in the end reveal them that I usually end up having to break off the relationship or the Lord intervenes in some way that we are separated.

I'm still fasting and praying through that my attraction becomes much healthier. I have struggled with unhealthy attractions for a long time.

Examples please.