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Don't know if God is with me or not. Questioning salvation. Increasing Anxiety attacks

Macchiato

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I feel my mind is about to come unhinged.
I feel afraid bc I read a thread about how you know the Holy Spirit is with you.

And responders listed alot of attributes like you'll have peace, they'll be change anf what not.

I have constant anxiety and since ive been saved ( been 10 yrs) I never felt God lead me. Ive been baptized by water and fire..

Should I do it again?

I just dont feel God near, I never feel led by him, havent felt conviction( well maybe twice) -- its been 10yrs and I cant say I completely love God. Alot of times Im angry at him bc I feel really alone and then God being silent adds to it..

Now I currently have a bf whom I love dearly and I feel he wants me to give him up but I love him and he fills that lonely void.

Idk i feel lost.
 

Oompa Loompa

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I feel my mind is about to come unhinged.
I feel afraid bc I read a thread about how you know the Holy Spirit is with you.

And responders listed alot of attributes like you'll have peace, they'll be change anf what not.

I have constant anxiety and since ive been saved ( been 10 yrs) I never felt God lead me. Ive been baptized by water and fire..

Should I do it again?

I just dont feel God near, I never feel led by him, havent felt conviction( well maybe twice) -- its been 10yrs and I cant say I completely love God. Alot of times Im angry at him bc I feel really alone and then God being silent adds to it..

Now I currently have a bf whom I love dearly and I feel he wants me to give him up but I love him and he fills that lonely void.

Idk i feel lost.
I may recommend reading the Psalms. There are numerous examples where David had the same feelings your are having right now.
 
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DebbieJ

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"Now I currently have a bf whom I love dearly and I feel he wants me to give him up but I love him and he fills that lonely void."
__

Did he tell you directly he wants to break up with you? You have to ask him straight to clear up your mind. If he wants to give up, find another and move on. Spend time with friends or family as they will help you heal and you won't be that lonely.
 
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Rescued One

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1 John 3
13 Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you. 14 We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. 15 Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
16
Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. 17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? 18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. 19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. 20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. 21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
 
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Jord Simcha

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I feel my mind is about to come unhinged.
I feel afraid bc I read a thread about how you know the Holy Spirit is with you.

And responders listed alot of attributes like you'll have peace, they'll be change anf what not.

I have constant anxiety and since ive been saved ( been 10 yrs) I never felt God lead me. Ive been baptized by water and fire..
Have you been baptized with the Spirit you think? If not, why not? What do you think it is?
Should I do it again?
Not water baptism, no.
I just dont feel God near, I never feel led by him, havent felt conviction( well maybe twice) -- its been 10yrs and I cant say I completely love God.
However long it has been, it's not too late.
Alot of times Im angry at him bc I feel really alone and then God being silent adds to it..
You can be angry with God. He'll get over it.
Now I currently have a bf whom I love dearly and I feel he wants me to give him up but I love him and he fills that lonely void.
Congratulations! Why would you believe God wants you to give him up? If you believe a thing like that no wonder you have trouble completely loving God. Your view of God can be better.
Idk i feel lost.
Okay. Step 1 is to acknowledge that. Step 2 could be a lot of things. I can give you advice if you want.

P.S. I love macchiato ;)
 
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R.J. Aldridge

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I feel my mind is about to come unhinged.
I feel afraid bc I read a thread about how you know the Holy Spirit is with you.

And responders listed alot of attributes like you'll have peace, they'll be change anf what not.

I have constant anxiety and since ive been saved ( been 10 yrs) I never felt God lead me. Ive been baptized by water and fire..

Should I do it again?

I just dont feel God near, I never feel led by him, havent felt conviction( well maybe twice) -- its been 10yrs and I cant say I completely love God. Alot of times Im angry at him bc I feel really alone and then God being silent adds to it..

Now I currently have a bf whom I love dearly and I feel he wants me to give him up but I love him and he fills that lonely void.

Idk i feel lost.
I don't comment on this forum very often, but for some reason I wanted to respond to your post. Is it the Holy Spirit that lead me here? I don't know. But if it is, perhaps God doesn't want you to feel alone.

Like you, I hear the stories of other Christians, how God has revealed Himself to them in powerful ways, and I wonder why it is not the same for me. I feel aimless, like a wanderer with no path laid out before me. Yet, it is this very uncertainty that drives me to God, because perhaps, instead of wondering about my path in this world, God is my path, and I ought to draw near to Him.

You have expressed uncertainty over whether or not the Holy Spirit is in your life. You do not feel at peace, you feel anxious, you don't feel led, you don't feel conviction, and this can make you feel anger. It seems that you believe you should feel different if God is there, and to be honest, I do not "feel" a change in my life as others claim they have had, and even when I became a Christian, there was no spontaneous change (though I was a young child). What I decided is that I was going to follow God regardless of my feelings. If I feel He is not with me, I will be with Him. If I feel He is not helping me, I will help others in His name. In time I have realized that I cannot claim that God has not revealed Himself "to" me if He has indeed revealed Himself "through" me. What I have noticed is that God has not spoken to me in the whirlwind, He has spoken in the still, small whisper, because despite my emptiness, somehow I am filled with a desire to please Him. I do not have it all figured out, but I am at peace within the storm.
 
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Tolworth John

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never felt God lead me
I just dont feel God near, I never feel led by him,
currently have a bf whom I love dearly and I feel he wants me to give him up but I love him[/QUOTED

I am sorry you are in a state. Anxiety and panic attacks are draining and are very helpful.
But a large part of your problem is wanting what others say they have.
God doesn't work that way. You are not the same as the people you've read about and they are not like you.
We all have different experiences of God.
You say God is silent. The only way that can be true is if either you never read the Bible or listen to sermons or are blatently disobeying God.

God speaks to us through our regular Bible readings and Sunday sermons.
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend.
What is his opinion on God speaking?
Ask him when you next call him or on your next date.
Yes I am saying you should not be living with him and that he must be a Christian.
( If that line does not apply please ignore )

An old puritan wrote.
If we want extra ordinary experiences of God. We should spend more time in Bible study, prayer, worship and service.
 
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Cormack

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I have constant anxiety and since ive been saved

Anxiety is an awful thing. We train ourselves into negative trains of thought, after awhile they stop being thoughts that come during hardship (which is natural) and they start becoming a habit (unnatural), a weird thought cycle people get into.

We can’t quit things like that cold turkey, it’s too much, try filling your time and environment up with healthy challenges instead. Bear good fruits, encourage others in person or online, we can gain that assurance of salvation and develop ourselves as Christians.

Try to remember those feelings of upset pass, they’ll be blips on the much bigger, happier picture of your life. God bless.
 
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Macchiato

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Anxiety is an awful thing. We train ourselves into negative trains of thought, after awhile they stop being thoughts that come during hardship (which is natural) and they start becoming a habit (unnatural), a weird thought cycle people get into.

We can’t quit things like that cold turkey, it’s too much, try filling your time and environment up with healthy challenges instead. Bear good fruits, encourage others in person or online, we can gain that assurance of salvation and develop ourselves as Christians.

Try to remember those feelings of upset pass, they’ll be blips on the much bigger, happier picture of your life. God bless.

It is awful and it's happening again. This is getting. Hard y
To mange

I wish God would heal my mind.
 
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Cormack

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It is awful and it's happening again. This is getting. Hard y
To mange

I wish God would heal my mind.

One of the best things we can do is be around people who have the qualities we lack. If you’ve got a calming person in your life (not someone who is always dropping in and out of your life,) spent more time with them.

Remember you’ve got a big ring of support in life. Sometimes that support comes from places you’d never expect.
 
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