God did not create you looking as you do. When sin entered the nature of man, things began to go terribly wrong. That includes all the illness, genetic disorders and disabilities of all kinds. Sometimes the behaviour of a parent can contribute to the child's condition. Alcohol consumption during pregnancy can caused serious birth defects, as can drug use.
You are married. Someone sees you differently. He wants you around.
Before I was born again, I used to walk past a guy in a wheelchair who was raising money for a disability organisation. He was seriously disabled and I could hardly understand him. I'd stick some money in his tin and off I'd go.
I got born again. I did not see him for some time. When I did, he was packing up for the day. A taxi was waiting. In those days, they did not have the modified cabs common now. He asked me to help him, so I obliged. I went with him to help him at the other end. He told me that he was a born again Christian, that he loved Jesus and that mentally, he was perfectly normal. He told me that his family assumed that he was retarded because of the way he spoke. He blew me away when he said that he understood and felt sorry for them. This guy knew Jesus. There was not a word of self-pity.
God looks at the heart. Most people are ugly, disfigured, bitter, twisted and disabled on the inside. Everyone is born that way. Those who accept Christ and get born again have a new heart where Jesus lives. We have an inner beauty that the world knows nothing about. People can be jerks. When they react to you, they expose their own inner ugliness.
You need to know how God sees you. Man looks at the outward appearance. God looks at the heart. Ask God to show you what He thinks of you. Lord Jesus thought you worth dying for. That's love.
You've been hurt by a lot of people. That needs to be dealt with also. I suggest that you read this article:
Can you forgive from your heart? - Christian Life Frankston