I have had and do have dealings with narcissistic people on a regular basis.
i recognise in myself certain narcissistic traits (inflated self importance, manipulative behaviour) but I think the fact that I’m aware of them means I’m maybe on a spectrum of dysfunction rather than actually narcissistic.
It seems to me that the disease of narcissism is you don’t have a disease so repentance is difficult to find.
i feel certain Christian teachings maybe promote narcissism (I’m a special child of God etc) The nature of faith seems to exclude conversations about different points of view. It seems to me that when the truth turns up on our doorstep the first thing we want to do is kill it. I think we have to get over ourselves a bit.
Is it reasonable, biblical and Christ like to have boundaries set in place where dealing with individuals that have narcissistic tendencies? At what point do we cease to follow Christ when he says if someone asks us to go a mile we should go with them two.
The problem I see here is going with them two miles reinforces their perception that they are special and the world exists for their benefit. It’s kinda like feeding their sin (hope I’m not just using this as a reason to not have compassion)
narcissists seem to be able to sniff out and manipulate your guilt and your desire to be generous for their own ends whilst nothing seems to shift in them. They constantly test out your boundaries to see if they can extend their reach.
I think it’s one of the reasons why we see a lot of pedo activity in the church as individuals that practice such have to be narcissistic to some level; they search out environments where they can practice a narcissistic lifestyle with people that will forgive them 70x7. It’s like a narcissistic paradise.
My wife and I love to be generous accepting and kind but I feel that it’s not enough and we need good boundaries and to speak the truth in love to narcissistic people.
The simplest way of finding them is the use of the word No. I teach my children in relationships (romantic specifically but also generally) to take notice of how people receive the word no, also to see how they receive the word no.
Having experienced manipulation a lot in my life I feel myself saying no to people when I feel like they are manipulating my emotions to get me to engage with their controlling ways. I don’t feel like this is a godly solution either so now I’m concentrating on determining in my heart what it is that I’m prepared to give and giving that despite their manipulation and despite their trying to get more by testing the boundaries. I feel this is a better road.
What are everybody else’s thoughts? I’m kinda hyper sensitive to this behaviour so I may not see it all straight.
PS; first post in a few years, hopefully more to come......
i recognise in myself certain narcissistic traits (inflated self importance, manipulative behaviour) but I think the fact that I’m aware of them means I’m maybe on a spectrum of dysfunction rather than actually narcissistic.
It seems to me that the disease of narcissism is you don’t have a disease so repentance is difficult to find.
i feel certain Christian teachings maybe promote narcissism (I’m a special child of God etc) The nature of faith seems to exclude conversations about different points of view. It seems to me that when the truth turns up on our doorstep the first thing we want to do is kill it. I think we have to get over ourselves a bit.
Is it reasonable, biblical and Christ like to have boundaries set in place where dealing with individuals that have narcissistic tendencies? At what point do we cease to follow Christ when he says if someone asks us to go a mile we should go with them two.
The problem I see here is going with them two miles reinforces their perception that they are special and the world exists for their benefit. It’s kinda like feeding their sin (hope I’m not just using this as a reason to not have compassion)
narcissists seem to be able to sniff out and manipulate your guilt and your desire to be generous for their own ends whilst nothing seems to shift in them. They constantly test out your boundaries to see if they can extend their reach.
I think it’s one of the reasons why we see a lot of pedo activity in the church as individuals that practice such have to be narcissistic to some level; they search out environments where they can practice a narcissistic lifestyle with people that will forgive them 70x7. It’s like a narcissistic paradise.
My wife and I love to be generous accepting and kind but I feel that it’s not enough and we need good boundaries and to speak the truth in love to narcissistic people.
The simplest way of finding them is the use of the word No. I teach my children in relationships (romantic specifically but also generally) to take notice of how people receive the word no, also to see how they receive the word no.
Having experienced manipulation a lot in my life I feel myself saying no to people when I feel like they are manipulating my emotions to get me to engage with their controlling ways. I don’t feel like this is a godly solution either so now I’m concentrating on determining in my heart what it is that I’m prepared to give and giving that despite their manipulation and despite their trying to get more by testing the boundaries. I feel this is a better road.
What are everybody else’s thoughts? I’m kinda hyper sensitive to this behaviour so I may not see it all straight.
PS; first post in a few years, hopefully more to come......