Why are there so many divorces among Christians?

[Neostarwcc]

And why do they treat divorce as if it's no big deal but yet will fight for abortion rights and against homosexual and transgendered equality or for the issues that effect them yet, the serious topic of divorce gets thrown under the rug as if Christ never said "Don't get divorced." Here's a newsflash my fellow Christians, he did. The topic of divorce is just swept under the rug and NEVER fought for! Maybe it's become I'm Schizo-affective Bipolar type and possibly autistic (Autistic testing wasn't as good as it is today when I was born/young back in the mid 80's. By the time it came out I was an adult and too old to be tested. So I'll never know. But my family HIGHLY suspects that I am in fact, autistic) and my brain is all messed up to where I can't comprehend the things that "normal" people comprehend. But, I just can't comprehend this and it EXTREMELY angers me.

I cannot possibly fathom why somebody who claims to be a Christian and claims to follow Christ's teachings would leave their spouse for basically sneezing on them. Seriously! So many Christians are getting divorced over completely NOTHING. People don't seem to understand that their first spouse is a gift from God! Nobody questions the joining of Adam and Eve so why should any other joining be different! They were all joinings made by GOD! And don't these people who get divorced and get remarried realize that they are adulterers in the eyes of God and will one day not only have to give an account to God for their choices but also would feel ASHAMED when they have to bow before Christ and repent for what they did?

Meanwhile those who have remained faithful to Christ and to his word would be praised and rewarded by him, BEYOND their wildest dreams? Don't they also realize that they will at max live for 125 years on this planet and after that, their eternity starts? When you start living for 100 sextillion years in pure bliss those "painful" memories wouldn't even come to mind.

We're on this earth for one reason, and one reason only. To come to Christ and to SERVE him. Yet, so many "Christians" don't realize that. "Oh I don't want to be a slave to God! I want to live however I want!"

Sorry but the truth is, that's why you were created. Humanity was created from the getgo to serve and be "slaves" if you will to God. Don't believe me, look at Romans 6:22, Ephesians 6:6, Colossians 3:24 & 1 Peter 2:16 and basically anywhere in Genesis. Just because these books were written years and years ago doesn't mean that times have "changed". God's word NEVER changes.

What I'm saying is not new to Christianity. Or a new concept to God's children. It's been known by every one of God's children who came from Adam and Eve!

So honestly? What's a little physical or emotional abuse? Or what's so bad about living in a so called "toxic" marriage? God GAVE you your spouse so that honestly should be good enough! He gives you the "horrible" marriage to test your faith. Guess what, you failed. And you won't escape God's judgement and you will feel ASHAMED when you have to appear before Christ.

Maybe it's because I've lived a life of abuse,neglect, and misery, and because God tests my faith the hardest out of most other people. So I'm used to being depressed 24/7. I'm used to being tired and cranky 24/7. I'm used to being a massive walking ball of anxiety and stress and I'm used to day long episodes of panic attacks. I'm used to getting manic episodes at least four times a year, I'm used to constantly being physically abused by both my father and wife. I've been on this earth for almost 34 years now and for at LEAST 30 of those years I've only known pain and misery and guess what? more is coming as I get older and older.

But, I don't care. I have a hope. I have a living hope and his name is Jesus Christ. I WILL live for an eternity and because of the life I'm living I will be praised and massively rewarded by my kind and loving Savior. When It's time for me to go to Christ, that will be the happiest day of my life. I will tell my loved ones not to cry because I am going to live in bliss, FOREVER.

I cannot possibly comprehend why people cannot comprehend what I do and can. My wife says "Nobody acts that way" when she basically calls me "The greatest husband ever." and she's right, I'm a darn good husband. Because, I am filled with so much love for my wife that I don't want anything else the world can give me. I want the wife that God gave me. Especially why I promised God that I would be with that wife that he gave me, for better or WORSE. Doesn't matter what happens in my life, I will do it without question and I will bear it with only "mild" complaining. LOL

When I came to Christ I told him from the very beginning that I'd go "all in". I meant it and I will continue fighting Satan and everything God throws at me until the end of my days. THAT'S the way a Christian should live. Sorry if I seem like a jerk but, It's the truth. So many people are going to lose out on so many rewards because they refused to acknowledge what Christ wanted from them. Or maybe Christ didn't want anything from them at all and that was his plan. Who knows.

 

[thecolorsblend]

Women file for, like, 70% of divorces. Christian or otherwise, I don’t think America has a divorce problem; I think we have a women problem.

 

[timewerx]

Why there are so many divorces in the first place is that most people lack the patience to look for the person God reserved for them.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

I actually think this is one of those questions that Jordan Peterson answers well. Yes woman file more and that is a problem, but I think biologically speaking their is something in woman that make them more prone to that (Humans may be higher life forms but we still got instincts). But it is not just the instincts that are within us, but it is also how we relate to the sexes socially as far as group behavior.

I will note that they are plenty of times when the man is "broken bird" or person not really towing their weight in the relationship. But when this is true of the woman their is a lot of pressure to accept that etc. But when it is the man, much more acceptance to "loose the zero".


Now as Christians etc. we should try to moderate such desires, or redirect them in a positive direction, seeing how that is the substance of the fruit of the spirit, to be longsuffering and so on. But some people, just give up on that because their is a lot of incentive from the inside and outside to do so.

 

[JackRT]

Women file for, like, 70% of divorces. Christian or otherwise, I don’t think America has a divorce problem; I think we have a women problem.

And I strongly suspect that 70% of those divorces were caused by the man in the marriage.

 

[iluvatar5150]

Women file for, like, 70% of divorces. Christian or otherwise, I don’t think America has a divorce problem; I think we have a women problem.

Seriously?

I actually think this is one of those questions that Jordan Peterson answers well. Yes woman file more and that is a problem, but I think biologically speaking their is something in woman that make them more prone to that (Humans may be higher life forms but we still got instincts). But it is not just the instincts that are within it, but it is also how we relate to the sexes socially as far as group behavior.

Maybe it’s because women get crapped on more in our society.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

Maybe it’s because women get crapped on more in our society.

I won't argue with you there!


My post was actually describing myself and maybe a few other cases vs. similar things I've seen with women, but especially a sister in law. The whole thing really reminds me of those great classic social psychology experiments of the era of 1960-1983. The difference in how a similar condition can be treated by a group like a family, church, or the general public can be quite striking.

 

[Albion]

And why do they treat divorce as if it's no big deal but yet will fight for abortion rights and against homosexual and transgendered equality or for the issues that effect them yet, the serious topic of divorce gets thrown under the rug as if Christ never said "Don't get divorced." Here's a newsflash my fellow Christians, he did. The topic of divorce is just swept under the rug and NEVER fought for!

I don't believe that to be true, but if is correct to say that abortion and gay ordination, trans "equality," gay marriage, etc. get more attention, it may be because no one is being murdered in these cases and, also, the issue is not a new challenge for the church the way the gay/trans agenda is.

 

[thecolorsblend]

.

 

[bling]

Women file for, like, 70% of divorces. Christian or otherwise, I don’t think America has a divorce problem; I think we have a women problem.

WOW, that will get you in trouble!

 

[GOD Shines Forth!]

Women file for, like, 70% of divorces. Christian or otherwise, I don’t think America has a divorce problem; I think we have a women problem.

https://biblehub.com/proverbs/30-15.htm
"The leech has two daughters: Give and Give."—Proverbs 30:15

 

[thecolorsblend]

WOW, that will get you in trouble!

I wonder. I mean, I’m aware that most women have some bizarre insecurity about being held responsible for their actions. But the way I see it, divorced women who didn’t file shouldn’t be upset.

But the divorcees who did file, well...

 

[Halbhh]

I cannot possibly fathom why somebody who claims to be a Christian and claims to follow Christ's teachings would leave their spouse for basically sneezing on them. Seriously! So many Christians are getting divorced over completely NOTHING.

I know you are using hyperbole here, so I'm not mistakenly thinking you mean people really do get divorced over little trivial things like he leaves the milk out on the counter, or she sneezes on me.

But, people sometimes do point to relatively not-so-big things sometimes as a major point of contention, and psychologists tell us that these are only...transference of a kind, a substitute reason, and not the key thing, but instead is something fixated on because it connects a little (or a lot) to the real issues, which are often buried, and not well understood by the 2 people.

For instance, the real issue could be something a person doesn't want to admit, because it feels too unsafe (this is one of the commonplace possible situations). For instance, one might not feel safe to admit something like "I never felt good enough" or something like that, from childhood.

They might not even admit it to themselves, or be aware of it consciously, in which case even the safety issue isn't why it's hidden, but because of a lack of awareness.

So, instead, those feelings get transferred onto something that looks kinda smaller and more trivial to us outsiders at times.

But the real feelings down underneath, the un-admitted or hidden or unaware feelings -- those are the real reason for the distress and separation.

---------

Now, there is something Christians ought to be able to do -- ought to -- better than non believers... so it ought to be the case, if all calling themselves "Christian" really are following Christ, that the Christian rate of divorce would then be a lesser rate than for non-believers.

But 30 and 50 years ago, when many that have divorced in the last 10 years were growing up, it was commonplace that many went to church without believing. Because it was what you did. Regardless of actual faith.

But, with faith, a person should be able to listen to Christ, and hear Him say a key thing:

"...forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

That can delay divorce long enough so that people can grow in awareness and being able to speak up the real, true issues, instead of the putative issues (which aren't the real one). Then there is a chance that real issue can be addressed -- including by prayer -- and greatly helped, and also the other spouse can adjust to help protect that childhood emotional weakness/sensitivity, ideally.

 

[Halbhh]

One more thing: practicing more completely a total radical forgiveness --"not only seven times, but seventy times seven" -- over and over, and also: "forgive...from the heart."

This can just radically remake the relationship for the better, if a person is also praying for their own wounds to be healed, and those of their spouse.

Here's one piece of how: when someone is forgiven, it has an effect on them, and helps free them to change. When this is repeated, then the effect is increased. So, when also combined with prayer, you begin to get powerful things to help change and improve the situation. That doesn't mean there is nothing else that needs addressing, but it's powerful aid.

 

[public hermit]

So honestly? What's a little physical or emotional abuse?

Wait. Are you saying if a husband beats his wife, she should stay in the marriage and take it? And, if he kills her?

 

[JackRT]

Wait. Are you saying if a husband beats his wife, she should stay in the marriage and take it? And, if he kills her?

If he kills her the divorce is neatly avoided.

 

[public hermit]

If he kills her the divorce is neatly avoided.

Unfortunately, some folk's twisted thinking will assume that's the better result. Better to be murdered, than to leave an abusive relationship. Lord have mercy.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

In most cases one is abandoned by the other.
Seems this opens the door for that one
to remarry?

The other one has some repenting to do.

M-Bob

 

[Basil the Great]

And I strongly suspect that 70% of those divorces were caused by the man in the marriage.

You might well be correct, though I suspect that the true figure is more likely closer to 60-40.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

And why do they treat divorce as if it's no big deal but yet will fight for abortion rights and against homosexual and transgendered equality or for the issues that effect them yet, the serious topic of divorce gets thrown under the rug as if Christ never said "Don't get divorced." Here's a newsflash my fellow Christians, he did. The topic of divorce is just swept under the rug and NEVER fought for! Maybe it's become I'm Schizo-affective Bipolar type and possibly autistic (Autistic testing wasn't as good as it is today when I was born/young back in the mid 80's. By the time it came out I was an adult and too old to be tested. So I'll never know. But my family HIGHLY suspects that I am in fact, autistic) and my brain is all messed up to where I can't comprehend the things that "normal" people comprehend. But, I just can't comprehend this and it EXTREMELY angers me.

I cannot possibly fathom why somebody who claims to be a Christian and claims to follow Christ's teachings would leave their spouse for basically sneezing on them. Seriously! So many Christians are getting divorced over completely NOTHING. People don't seem to understand that their first spouse is a gift from God! Nobody questions the joining of Adam and Eve so why should any other joining be different! They were all joinings made by GOD! And don't these people who get divorced and get remarried realize that they are adulterers in the eyes of God and will one day not only have to give an account to God for their choices but also would feel ASHAMED when they have to bow before Christ and repent for what they did?

Meanwhile those who have remained faithful to Christ and to his word would be praised and rewarded by him, BEYOND their wildest dreams? Don't they also realize that they will at max live for 125 years on this planet and after that, their eternity starts? When you start living for 100 sextillion years in pure bliss those "painful" memories wouldn't even come to mind.

We're on this earth for one reason, and one reason only. To come to Christ and to SERVE him. Yet, so many "Christians" don't realize that. "Oh I don't want to be a slave to God! I want to live however I want!"

Sorry but the truth is, that's why you were created. Humanity was created from the getgo to serve and be "slaves" if you will to God. Don't believe me, look at Romans 6:22, Ephesians 6:6, Colossians 3:24 & 1 Peter 2:16 and basically anywhere in Genesis. Just because these books were written years and years ago doesn't mean that times have "changed". God's word NEVER changes.

What I'm saying is not new to Christianity. Or a new concept to God's children. It's been known by every one of God's children who came from Adam and Eve!

So honestly? What's a little physical or emotional abuse? Or what's so bad about living in a so called "toxic" marriage? God GAVE you your spouse so that honestly should be good enough! He gives you the "horrible" marriage to test your faith. Guess what, you failed. And you won't escape God's judgement and you will feel ASHAMED when you have to appear before Christ.

Maybe it's because I've lived a life of abuse,neglect, and misery, and because God tests my faith the hardest out of most other people. So I'm used to being depressed 24/7. I'm used to being tired and cranky 24/7. I'm used to being a massive walking ball of anxiety and stress and I'm used to day long episodes of panic attacks. I'm used to getting manic episodes at least four times a year, I'm used to constantly being physically abused by both my father and wife. I've been on this earth for almost 34 years now and for at LEAST 30 of those years I've only known pain and misery and guess what? more is coming as I get older and older.

But, I don't care. I have a hope. I have a living hope and his name is Jesus Christ. I WILL live for an eternity and because of the life I'm living I will be praised and massively rewarded by my kind and loving Savior. When It's time for me to go to Christ, that will be the happiest day of my life. I will tell my loved ones not to cry because I am going to live in bliss, FOREVER.

I cannot possibly comprehend why people cannot comprehend what I do and can. My wife says "Nobody acts that way" when she basically calls me "The greatest husband ever." and she's right, I'm a darn good husband. Because, I am filled with so much love for my wife that I don't want anything else the world can give me. I want the wife that God gave me. Especially why I promised God that I would be with that wife that he gave me, for better or WORSE. Doesn't matter what happens in my life, I will do it without question and I will bear it with only "mild" complaining. LOL

When I came to Christ I told him from the very beginning that I'd go "all in". I meant it and I will continue fighting Satan and everything God throws at me until the end of my days. THAT'S the way a Christian should live. Sorry if I seem like a jerk but, It's the truth. So many people are going to lose out on so many rewards because they refused to acknowledge what Christ wanted from them. Or maybe Christ didn't want anything from them at all and that was his plan. Who knows.

Why do people sin ?
"The LIGHT came into the world, and the world hated the LIGHT, because their lives were (are) sinful..."

Remember as the Creator's Word Confirms Clearly, "Few find the narrow road to LIFE..." (few find Jesus)...