Hi friends.
Ten years ago, I was born again. I was living in a new state and was visiting the home of my new friend. We met at work and she invited me over. We were chilling and she was making us some coffee. I noticed she had a Star of David hanging on her wall. I told her that my mom is Jewish. She told me that she is actually a Messianic Jew. I told her that I knew what that meant, that she's a Jew who believes that Jesus is the Messiah. I told her that I was close to Jesus as a young child, but that I didn't know Him anymore. She said that I could have Him back if I wanted to. That surprised me, and made me feel kind of sad. I said, No, I don't think so, I've been up to no good. But she said that I could have Jesus as my Savior right then and there.
I knew that I wanted Jesus, I just didn't know it was that easy. I agreed to accept Him as my Savior. She said a prayer and I uttered my acceptance of Him as my L-rd and Savior. She prayed over me and laid her hands on me. She may have spoken in tongues. I immediately felt lighter, like a heavy weight had been literally lifted from my shoulders. I didn't even know I had been carrying a weight there.
Life suddenly became extremely tumultuous. I couldn't work at my other job anymore because my co-workers suddenly hated me for no reason (I don't even think I told them I had been born again). My house mates suddenly hated me and kicked me out. Suddenly, I had to pack up and move. I made a series of bad decisions and ended up in a bad situation, stranded in the middle of nowhere with my cat and a suitcase. Then a series of incredible events (i.e. some people being kind and generous) got me back to my home state.
The last ten years since then have been tumultuous, but usually not quite as dramatic. I met my husband and we moved to another state. I am a mother now and I have three kids: a toddler, an elementary schooler, and a middle schooler. I am separated from my husband, who struggles with anger and substance abuse issues. My toddler has special needs and my health has been up and down over the years. My toddler and I both almost passed away after the delivery, and that event really changed me and the way I see everything.
Through all these years, I've had an ebb and flow relationship with the L-rd. I've been everywhere from backsliding in sin to reading the Bible every day and going to church every week. Right now, I'm in an interesting spot. Praise G-d, I have been delivered from areas of sin where I historically struggled. That has been a huge change. But I am still missing something. What I'm noticing is that abstaining from sin is just the beginning of what the L-rd requires. (And of course I still sin like everyone else, I just mean that I'm not backsliding at the moment.)
I did a little digging around on YouTube and found a video of a Messianic rabbi preaching. It's been great listening to him. His perspective is completely different from any priest or pastor whom I've heard. I should mention that although my conversion was with a Messianic Jew, I have been considering myself a Christian until recently. I've been going to churches, when I have worshipped corporately: Episcopal, Baptist, non-denominational, etc.
The rabbi impressed me with a few key points:
1. Reading the Torah in Hebrew is a way to worship HaShem.
2. Not a single Bible translation can capture the meaning of the original Hebrew. (He said that we're missing 80% of what's there. Or maybe it's that we're only getting 80%. Either way, we're missing out on important information.)
3. If the Prophets and New Testament don't line up with the Torah, you can throw them out. But his point is that everything in the Prophets and NT can be found in the Torah!
There are some other interesting points he makes. He quotes from the Midrash, the Jewish "sages" as he calls them. (He does note that not all of them get it right.) This is fascinating to me since I always considered these sources to be strictly Jewish and not necessarily Messianic in their usage.
So I have a few questions:
1. Does this rabbi seem to be on the right track? I am posting a link to the video at the end of my post in case you're interested in his teachings. It's part one of a three-part series on Tisha B'av and the revelation of the Messiah.
2. What is a good local faith group for me? I live in a rural region and there are no Messianic synagogues in my state. There are regular synagogues, but they don't honor Yeshua (or I've seen Yashua too) of course. I've gone to many churches over the years, but I have not found a healthy community. The churches I've found either a) do not respect observance of the Torah (I'm not a legalist by any means, but why wouldn't we do what we can?) and/or b) do not respect sign gifts (I'm not sure if I'm charismatic, but I believe in messages given in dreams, etc... just as it is written). Also, all these places worship on Sunday, so is that a deal-breaker? I looked up the Seventh-Day Adventists and there is a church near me, but... I just don't think so.
3. How do you start to learn Biblical Hebrew?
I can keep trying to find a local church. But I don't know. I am wondering if I should try to start a small Messianic group. But of course I couldn't lead it because I don't know much and I'm a woman. It would really just be for fellowship. I am feeling torn up about this.
My family is also full of unbelievers (please pray for them). They aren't religious Jews, but they identify with being Jewish as an ethnicity, etc. I do have one family member who is a believer and she considers herself a Messianic Jew. She always tells me that all the Jews will be saved, but I'm not sure where she gets that. I don't see why having Jacob as our forefather would give salvation to us, but not to the Gentiles (also, I'm half-Gentile from my dad's side so...). That kind of thought bothers me, so I would like spiritual discernment about those kinds of things.
Anyway, I know this post is a little all over the place! Thanks for reading. Feel free to share any of your insights or helpful tidbits about entering the world of Messianic Judaism, especially after considering yourself a Christian! Is it possible without attending a Messianic synagogue?! I hope so. I've been trying for years to live as a Christian, I just can't think that being Jewish is insignificant anymore. After all, if my friend had hung a cross on her wall instead of a Star of David, I don't know that I would've been born again that day, over ten years ago...
Rabbi Yehezqel Italki Malinconico of Kelihat Melech Yisrael in Toronto
Ten years ago, I was born again. I was living in a new state and was visiting the home of my new friend. We met at work and she invited me over. We were chilling and she was making us some coffee. I noticed she had a Star of David hanging on her wall. I told her that my mom is Jewish. She told me that she is actually a Messianic Jew. I told her that I knew what that meant, that she's a Jew who believes that Jesus is the Messiah. I told her that I was close to Jesus as a young child, but that I didn't know Him anymore. She said that I could have Him back if I wanted to. That surprised me, and made me feel kind of sad. I said, No, I don't think so, I've been up to no good. But she said that I could have Jesus as my Savior right then and there.
I knew that I wanted Jesus, I just didn't know it was that easy. I agreed to accept Him as my Savior. She said a prayer and I uttered my acceptance of Him as my L-rd and Savior. She prayed over me and laid her hands on me. She may have spoken in tongues. I immediately felt lighter, like a heavy weight had been literally lifted from my shoulders. I didn't even know I had been carrying a weight there.
Life suddenly became extremely tumultuous. I couldn't work at my other job anymore because my co-workers suddenly hated me for no reason (I don't even think I told them I had been born again). My house mates suddenly hated me and kicked me out. Suddenly, I had to pack up and move. I made a series of bad decisions and ended up in a bad situation, stranded in the middle of nowhere with my cat and a suitcase. Then a series of incredible events (i.e. some people being kind and generous) got me back to my home state.
The last ten years since then have been tumultuous, but usually not quite as dramatic. I met my husband and we moved to another state. I am a mother now and I have three kids: a toddler, an elementary schooler, and a middle schooler. I am separated from my husband, who struggles with anger and substance abuse issues. My toddler has special needs and my health has been up and down over the years. My toddler and I both almost passed away after the delivery, and that event really changed me and the way I see everything.
Through all these years, I've had an ebb and flow relationship with the L-rd. I've been everywhere from backsliding in sin to reading the Bible every day and going to church every week. Right now, I'm in an interesting spot. Praise G-d, I have been delivered from areas of sin where I historically struggled. That has been a huge change. But I am still missing something. What I'm noticing is that abstaining from sin is just the beginning of what the L-rd requires. (And of course I still sin like everyone else, I just mean that I'm not backsliding at the moment.)
I did a little digging around on YouTube and found a video of a Messianic rabbi preaching. It's been great listening to him. His perspective is completely different from any priest or pastor whom I've heard. I should mention that although my conversion was with a Messianic Jew, I have been considering myself a Christian until recently. I've been going to churches, when I have worshipped corporately: Episcopal, Baptist, non-denominational, etc.
The rabbi impressed me with a few key points:
1. Reading the Torah in Hebrew is a way to worship HaShem.
2. Not a single Bible translation can capture the meaning of the original Hebrew. (He said that we're missing 80% of what's there. Or maybe it's that we're only getting 80%. Either way, we're missing out on important information.)
3. If the Prophets and New Testament don't line up with the Torah, you can throw them out. But his point is that everything in the Prophets and NT can be found in the Torah!
There are some other interesting points he makes. He quotes from the Midrash, the Jewish "sages" as he calls them. (He does note that not all of them get it right.) This is fascinating to me since I always considered these sources to be strictly Jewish and not necessarily Messianic in their usage.
So I have a few questions:
1. Does this rabbi seem to be on the right track? I am posting a link to the video at the end of my post in case you're interested in his teachings. It's part one of a three-part series on Tisha B'av and the revelation of the Messiah.
2. What is a good local faith group for me? I live in a rural region and there are no Messianic synagogues in my state. There are regular synagogues, but they don't honor Yeshua (or I've seen Yashua too) of course. I've gone to many churches over the years, but I have not found a healthy community. The churches I've found either a) do not respect observance of the Torah (I'm not a legalist by any means, but why wouldn't we do what we can?) and/or b) do not respect sign gifts (I'm not sure if I'm charismatic, but I believe in messages given in dreams, etc... just as it is written). Also, all these places worship on Sunday, so is that a deal-breaker? I looked up the Seventh-Day Adventists and there is a church near me, but... I just don't think so.
3. How do you start to learn Biblical Hebrew?
I can keep trying to find a local church. But I don't know. I am wondering if I should try to start a small Messianic group. But of course I couldn't lead it because I don't know much and I'm a woman. It would really just be for fellowship. I am feeling torn up about this.
My family is also full of unbelievers (please pray for them). They aren't religious Jews, but they identify with being Jewish as an ethnicity, etc. I do have one family member who is a believer and she considers herself a Messianic Jew. She always tells me that all the Jews will be saved, but I'm not sure where she gets that. I don't see why having Jacob as our forefather would give salvation to us, but not to the Gentiles (also, I'm half-Gentile from my dad's side so...). That kind of thought bothers me, so I would like spiritual discernment about those kinds of things.
Anyway, I know this post is a little all over the place! Thanks for reading. Feel free to share any of your insights or helpful tidbits about entering the world of Messianic Judaism, especially after considering yourself a Christian! Is it possible without attending a Messianic synagogue?! I hope so. I've been trying for years to live as a Christian, I just can't think that being Jewish is insignificant anymore. After all, if my friend had hung a cross on her wall instead of a Star of David, I don't know that I would've been born again that day, over ten years ago...
