there are times that my brain understands that the worrying thoughts of ocd does not count and i feel free and calm. there are times that ocd comes back stronger. and some times,i feel so afraid. it is so scary sometimes. i feel calm when I focus on Jesus but when I think if Jesus does not exist. I become so worried. and i think a compulsion has been creating that is to go for a confession in the Church Of Agios Eleutherios. but i do not want to do it if I have not made up my mind about Jesus. I feel worried to go for a confession as a compulsion without believing much in Jesus.