I don't feel female enough. Body image issues

[HoneyBee]

I've been struggling for years with an issue that has bothered me and that I do not have a word for. For some reason, I feel as though I am not "female" enough to be considered a woman, and I don't know why. I always feel so ugly and like I'm somehow deficient as a woman, so I've been going through a roller coaster trying to discover what it truly means to be a woman.

Is being a woman all about being as feminine as possible? Is it about embracing myself without makeup and not shaving my legs? This is the battle I've been fighting for a long while now, and it's been such a rough journey.

I think I'm getting better with embracing that being an authentic female is just being myself since I have XX chromosomes and, therefore, already qualify to be considered a female... but I've still got some difficult days where I feel like some kind of a fake. I don't know. I just wish I had a name for whatever this is.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Edited to sound less grouchy;

As others below have said, there is more than one way to be comfortable in your own skin. Ask God to help you to accept and live out your birth sex, and He will. I can relate to and understand those feelings, as I have them, too. You're ok. You're still a girl. And there's nothing wrong with being female without being cliched. That's fine.

 

[IceJad]

No one can truly define what "femininity" is. For every lady will vary to a certain degree. You're who you're and the Lord loves you for you.

You and I may defer biologically but doesn't mean we can't enjoy things generally of the opposite gender. I love baking as much as I love hiking.

You're not in the wrong body. Learn to love yourself for who you're.

 

[coffee4u]

I think maybe you are having an issue with what society says is a 'woman should be'. Women are as diverse as men, probably more so. If you are wearing a dress or jeans, you are a woman, if your hair is long or short, you are a woman.

I wear makeup and I shave my legs. Wearing a dress tends to make you feel more feminine but you can be feminine in pants too. I have very bad feet and don't wear dresses at all anymore. Most of the time I live in high-end sports shoes with custom orthotics. I don't think we should be changing ourselves to fit some standard created by others. I think being a women means you are happy being a woman. For sure we go through some stuff being female but you know what, I still wouldn't want to be a man. I think that is the key. Are you happy being female?

I believe people who are not happy, who feel that they are the wrong gender have some kind of mental problem and need appropriate help. No matter what they do to themselves, no manner of operation, dress or hormone therapy changes biological sex. It's fixed at conception. There are people born with a confusion of sex chromosomes which is a genuine mistake in their genes, but that is rare. If you have a double XX you are female. Even if you are wearing army fatigues with short-cropped hair, you are still a woman.

 

[A_Thinker]

Thank God there is not just one type of woman ...

 

[Kenny'sID]

I think I'm getting better with embracing that being an authentic female is just being myself since I have XX chromosomes and, therefore, already qualify to be considered a female...

Why is that a concern...just trying to understand what appears to be underlying.

I don't know. I just wish I had a name for whatever this is.

There may well be a name, or at the very least, I'd say there are some that feel the same as you. Not sure exactly what root of this is but have you sought out others that share your situation?

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I've been struggling for years with an issue that has bothered me and that I do not have a word for. For some reason, I feel as though I am not "female" enough to be considered a woman, and I don't know why. I always feel so ugly and like I'm somehow deficient as a woman, so I've been going through a roller coaster trying to discover what it truly means to be a woman.

Is being a woman all about being as feminine as possible? Is it about embracing myself without makeup and not shaving my legs? This is the battle I've been fighting for a long while now, and it's been such a rough journey.

I think I'm getting better with embracing that being an authentic female is just being myself since I have XX chromosomes and, therefore, already qualify to be considered a female... but I've still got some difficult days where I feel like some kind of a fake. I don't know. I just wish I had a name for whatever this is.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

Sounds like you struggle between who you are and what the world says you should be. The world's image of a woman is hanging over you like a noose.

Femininity is a gift from God, it is built into a woman.

When I first met my wife she was seriously overdoing it with makeup and blushes and 40-minute showers and doing her hair. She has a natural beauty and I didn't think she needed to overcompensate for her self image. As her husband, I had to reinforce the fact she was beautiful even without her makeup. Now of days she uses make up and such for special occasions, and I want her to have the fun to enjoy putting on her face (except when it takes 3 hours to put it on ). It should be fun and something you want to have a part of your life. If it is not fun, then don't worry about it.

Remember true beauty comes from being who you are, not what you are not.

 

[Jaclyn Castro]

Allow God's word to comfort you. Not what the world defines as "beauty" and "feminine". The ultimate definition of anything should always align with what God says and thinks. So, here is one verse to remind you. I need this reminder myself.

1 Peter 3:3-4 (NASB)

“Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

 

[bèlla]

Where do you feel you’re falling short? What do you see in others that you lack and feel you should obtain?

~Bella