Hi. Have you ever tried taking a personality test? This is my idea after reading your post. Have you ever heard of the Meyer Briggs test? It is a test that identifies 16 personalities of which have been shaped by a combination of genetics, childhood influences, conditioning and environment. I was thinking that it may be helpful to you to do the test, and learn about the many aspects of your personality. For example do you know what your strengths are; the gifts that God has given you? Do you know your weaknesses, and how it may cause you problems? Finding out your strengths could help shift your thinking from your current situation to one of seeing the beauty and uniqueness of you, who God made, instead of the rejection of the women in your life. Literally everybody..every person.. every personality type, has their strengths and weaknesses. None of us are alone! Your strengths (which you should readily recognize upon reflection after taking the test) can be built upon, and your weaknesses you could pray about, find specific scripture, or pursue counselling in a more targetted and deeper understanding.
I have personally found that the Myers Briggs test to be very valuable (although again it does not rival the Holy Spirit or the Word of God). It has an uncanny way of presenting insights that are both life changing and very enlightening. But it should be only used as a useful tool, as Christians we know that human beings are far more complex than any test could show. I believe it has a lot of merit when used properly. For example I am an INFJ, and it has really helped me quite a bit in several ways!
If this is not for you, then no worries, disregard my post but I will attach a couple links in case you are interested:
Personality Types | 16Personalities
Free personality test | 16Personalities
(There are also other websites you can google that also offer information on the types that may add even further insight to your type).
I pray that God will richly bless and heal you. Take good care..