I can't with these thoughts and doubts anymore, I'm about to blaspheme forever...

[NoahSK]

I can't do this anymore. I can't seem to move past these horrible blasphemous doubts. I can't seem to shake them. No matter what I do, they keep coming, stronger and stronger, and they always seem to find a reason to doubt and try to prove these blasphemous thoughts true. I can't anymore. I've gotten to the point where it feels like I have the urge to just accept the thoughts and say them and mean them and believe them, and I don't want to do that. I have the constantly fight the thoughts, or I risk submitting to them and damning myself for eternity. I worry that if I don't fight the thoughts, I'll end up believing them, and that I'll stop fighting them and they'll just become part of me. I can't do this. I can't. I'm afraid I've already done it. I don't know what to do. My mind keeps saying to just accept the thoughts as truth and stuff and to stop fighting. Why? Why is this happening? I can't concentrate on anything else, because then the thoughts will come and I'll accept them wholeheartedly. Why? What will I do now? Why won't this stop? Why? I'm afraid I already believe the thoughts... Why is no amount of evidence sufficient to convince me? Why am I stuck here?

 

[A_Thinker]

atter what I do, they keep coming, stronger and stronger, and they always seem to find a reason to doubt and try to prove these blasphemous thoughts true. I can't anymore. I've gotten to the point where it feels like I have the urge to just accept the thoughts and say them and mean them and believe them, and I don't want to do that. I have the constantly fight the thoughts, or I risk submitting to them and damning myself for eternity. I worry that if I don't fight the thoughts, I'll end up believing them, and that I'll stop fighting them and they'll just become part of me. I can't do this. I can't. I'm afraid I've already done it. I don't know what to do. My mind keeps saying to just accept the thoughts as truth and stuff and to stop fighting. Why? Why is this happening? I can't concentrate on anything else, because then the thoughts will come and I'll accept them wholeheartedly. Why? What will I do now? Why won't this stop? Why? I'm afraid I already believe the thoughts... Why is no amount of evidence sufficient to convince me? Why am I stuck here?

I have never had this particular level issue ... but try this ...

Command that the servants of evil leave you alone ... in the name of Jesus Christ. Try using this as a reflex reaction whenever these thoughts appear.

Also pray that God will use His healing power to purge this situation from your life.

Finally, if possible, seek a doctor's care. There may be med's that can help you with this.

I'll be praying for you in this regard ...

 

[Speckofdust]

Never give up. Every time you rebuke or ignore those thoughts is worth it. I have the same problem and I will fight these thoughts until death. Sometimes the urges are too strong but I call upon the name of LORD. Sometimes I can’t help but rebuke them out loud. This is the urge to do exactly the wrong thing in a given situation for the sole reason that it is possible for wrong to be done. This is what some call the imp of the perverse.

The Imp of the Perverse - Wikipedia

 

[PizzaAddict]

atter what I do, they keep coming, stronger and stronger, and they always seem to find a reason to doubt and try to prove these blasphemous thoughts true. I can't anymore. I've gotten to the point where it feels like I have the urge to just accept the thoughts and say them and mean them and believe them, and I don't want to do that. I have the constantly fight the thoughts, or I risk submitting to them and damning myself for eternity. I worry that if I don't fight the thoughts, I'll end up believing them, and that I'll stop fighting them and they'll just become part of me. I can't do this. I can't. I'm afraid I've already done it. I don't know what to do. My mind keeps saying to just accept the thoughts as truth and stuff and to stop fighting. Why? Why is this happening? I can't concentrate on anything else, because then the thoughts will come and I'll accept them wholeheartedly. Why? What will I do now? Why won't this stop? Why? I'm afraid I already believe the thoughts... Why is no amount of evidence sufficient to convince me? Why am I stuck here?

After reading this you give impression of somebody who is lost to be honest. I'm curious what these thoughts are you getting , are you ashemed of them on public forum ? Maybe find somebody who would like to listen to you in private sometimes it's good to just let them out instead of holding on them deep inside you.

Also would like to mention that salvation is done by Christ himself not you , he overcome sin not you therefore your bad thoughts have nothing to do with going to hell for thinking them , you are forgiven sinner if you believe Christ is God and saviour died for sins and rose from the dead no more no less than that. You won't stop sinning untill you literally die so since God alredy forgive you sins you need to forgive yourself also .

 

[NoahSK]

After reading this you give impression of somebody who is lost to be honest. I'm curious what these thoughts are you getting , are you ashemed of them on public forum ? Maybe find somebody who would like to listen to you in private sometimes it's good to just let them out instead of holding on them deep inside you.

Also would like to mention that salvation is done by Christ himself not you , he overcome sin not you therefore your bad thoughts have nothing to do with going to hell for thinking them , you are forgiven sinner if you believe Christ is God and saviour died for sins and rose from the dead no more no less than that. You won't stop sinning untill you literally die so since God alredy forgive you sins you need to forgive yourself also .

What do you mean, I give the impression of someone who is lost?

 

[Mari17]

I can't do this anymore. I can't seem to move past these horrible blasphemous doubts. I can't seem to shake them. No matter what I do, they keep coming, stronger and stronger, and they always seem to find a reason to doubt and try to prove these blasphemous thoughts true. I can't anymore. I've gotten to the point where it feels like I have the urge to just accept the thoughts and say them and mean them and believe them, and I don't want to do that. I have the constantly fight the thoughts, or I risk submitting to them and damning myself for eternity. I worry that if I don't fight the thoughts, I'll end up believing them, and that I'll stop fighting them and they'll just become part of me. I can't do this. I can't. I'm afraid I've already done it. I don't know what to do. My mind keeps saying to just accept the thoughts as truth and stuff and to stop fighting. Why? Why is this happening? I can't concentrate on anything else, because then the thoughts will come and I'll accept them wholeheartedly. Why? What will I do now? Why won't this stop? Why? I'm afraid I already believe the thoughts... Why is no amount of evidence sufficient to convince me? Why am I stuck here?

You can't find sufficient evidence because OCD ALWAYS, ALWAYS finds a way to convince you of your obsessional fear. Even if you had the greatest evidence in the world to convince you, your OCD would come up with SOMETHING.

So here's the thing: you don't have to fight the thoughts off. That is a compulsion. What's happening is that your OCD keeps sending you the thoughts because you're afraid of them. As long as you act afraid of them by pushing them away, then it will keep sending more. What you have to do is pretend not to be afraid of them by just ignoring them. That means NOT trying to push them away. That doesn't mean you want or accept them; it just means you're treating them as meaningless, which is what they are.

How can you put this into practice? Can you try practicing it for a limited time to start, such as an hour?

Also, when is your next appointment with your therapist?

And, just to be super annoying....did you watch the "Noise in Your Head" video series?