Hey, just strolling through hear and saw this thread. Lily I want you to know, you aren't alone. There are many Christians who have this same problem. I also want you to know that God will never abandon nor forsake you, at least that's what he told Joshua. If you told Joshua that, how much more does it apply to you?
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
- Joshua 1:5
If he told this to Joshua, how much more will does his faithfulness apply to you, his child? I'm not saying there is nothing wrong here, but God will not let you go to hell. He loves you too much to let you go, ever. He doesn't let sheep out of the flock. He set you apart, that's why we are called the Church (Greek for set apart ones). What I'm trying to say is; stay strong in the faith, love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength, and proclaim and believe that Jesus is Lord and you will be saved.
If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is LORD," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
- Romans 10:9
And since you need a priest to confess to, bit have none, confess to our high priest, Jesus Christ.
Hebrews 2:17-18 NIV
For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. [18] Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Hebrews 4:14-16 NIV
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. [15] For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are---yet he did not sin. [16] Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Be scared, but never loose faith.
Good bless you