Sketcher

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S.O.J.I.A.

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my standard is the same as any other guy. I desire a woman who is attractive physically as well as personality-wise.

health has multiple facets. physical, mental, emotional. you would want a partner who is fit in all these areas.

I suppose my struggle is that i'm a recluse.
 
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GospelS

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I have never noticed myself more beautiful than when i had the first experience of being born again and became a new creation. That day i could see the glow on my face as though I was washed white as snow.
 
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dzheremi

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It'd be nice to meet someone who doesn't have some kind of anxiety disorder. Why do these seem so common nowadays? It seems like every woman I know in the 30-36 range has some kind of anxiety/depression mental problem. Perhaps I attract those kinds of girls somehow. Not sure how, in that case. I don't do online dating or anything like that.

Other than that, standards...eh...in the end, the only thing that is left of the person you once knew is their personality and intelligence, so if those don't knock you out, or at least mesh well with your own, then it won't matter if s/he's a 10 or 2 or whatever. Of course, everyone has their preferences (I've never been much into the stereotypical leggy blonde bombshell sort of thing, for instance, but then my family is pretty much all shorter people, except for my cousins on my mother's side, since her sister married the Swedish version of the Brawny paper towel guy, so they had two kids who are blonde haired, blue eyed and 6'5" and 6'3", respectively), but I've always been surprised at how quickly those can change or take a back seat when it's someone I really click with, personality and intelligence-wise.

As far as my own struggles, as always I struggle just to meet people, period (been out of the job market for a few years for legal and health reasons I'd rather no go into, so it's not been an option to meet someone at/through work, and the lack of income obviously restricts my ability to go out to many places), which makes trying to keep up my own health a bit difficult sometimes. A lot of people would probably do so out of a need to stay competitive on the dating circuit, but when you're just not a part of that world for years, the motivation must come from somewhere else...and sometimes that's pretty difficult. On the other hand, I can see the value in doing something for yourself and then if the results attract people, then all the better. If they don't, at least you did something.

Dunno what to say about judgment other than that it's not a good look on a Christian. Hopefully we can be discerning without judging a person for their flaws. Like when I see a person who's fatter than me I don't say or think "Eww, thank goodness I'm not that bad off!", but at the same time I know not to go to them for weight loss tips. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
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Yennora

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I found the thread interesting but I wasn't planning to reply since I'm 23 and the thread was posted in the 30s forums. However, since I found a lot of the follow ups to be off topic and/or sarcastic I decided to give my input. If you would like it 30s only I can delete my input upon your request :)

What is your beauty standard?

In myself, I like old fashioned style. I like dark browns, blacks, and darker colours in general. Sometimes a white shirt is good though. I dislike vivid colours, I usually like warm or pale colours more since I find them restful for my eyes. I also care about my gestures. How I stand and how I move and talk is very important. Sadly I fail to achieve this part when my psyche is down sometimes though. I think that a man that doesn't look here and there is more attractive. I like blank tops without drawings or words.

In women, I have the same preferences. I find darker colours to be really attractive on women. I also find girls that care for their hair to be attractive. I like the "lenghty but not so lengthy" old fashioned hair styles. And some girls do the crown-like braided hair style, that is really beautiful too or natural hairstyles. Nothing too artificial or too fancy attracts me. I also like very light to non-existent makeup. I love all that is natural. Also, I get attracted to modest girls the most. I sense a lot of kindness and sacrifice behind their modesty and modesty in itself is so attractive to me. (exceptions exist)

What does healthy mean in your opinion?

I think being healthy is based on diet, exercises and a willingness to avoid all that is suspicious. For example, I don't use liquid soap because it gets too sticky and if that remains on my hands it wouldn't be good when I eat it alongside my food. So I use solid soap. I wash my hands very frequently. I try to avoid junk and fast foods. I prefer all that is natural and homemade. Sometimes I fail at this though :( When I get too lazy, pressurized or tempted. Also I nearly lose my willingness to remain fit when my psyche is down.

Where are you struggling?

I'm struggling to remain fit and I'm struggling most with my mental wellbeing. I can break down pretty easily recently, I became very fragile and it is not good. I feel like my energy is being consumed heavily. I don't know how to fix this since I'm unhappy with reality to many levels and I cannot reconcile my wellbeing with all the pain that is happening around me. And it is hard to maintain an energetic ambitious mentality while being emotionally down most of the time. However, I advance slowly.

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?

I love this question! I think I can do that through praising all that I find worthy and beautiful and closing my eyes/ignoring all that I find negative. However, if the negative poses a threat on others I might start giving light advices. If my advices are faced with opposition I back off. It is not my business after all. Sometimes I fail at this as well. I just try at many times.

This doesn't apply when I have to oppose oppression or defend others though since defending others might require judging/attacking the oppressors sometimes and I find it a duty to do so in some exceptional circumstances.
 
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HowRU?

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The issue of physical appearance was raised in a different thread and I thought it would be a great one to explore from a godly perspective. This question is open to both sexes. :)

What is your beauty standard?
What does healthy mean in your opinion?
Where are you struggling?

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?

Hello LaBella,
My beauty standard for all people first of all is that their clothing and body are clean. I don’t really want to smell them while just approaching them. I almost don’t care what you do with your hair. Guys with long hair don’t weird me out; neither do girls with short hair. I really think those hangups are cultural. Interestingly, I am most attracted to females with my same basic physical characteristics, e.g. brown eyes, brown hair, highly intelligent (lol). This attraction is a scientifically documented norm.

What is healthy in my opinion? There is a lot to be said about inner beauty. Spiritual health will translate to emotional health that radiates with joy and a positive attitude. This will eventually lead to knowing your purpose in life that God has for you. Pretty healthy...unless you’re martyred...hmm.

I struggle from liking coffee too much. My esophagus suffers.

Am I being judgmental? I hope not.

LaBella, what I find beautiful about you is your writing style. I have seen a few of your prior posts and been impressed. They’re concise, eloquent and free of grammatical errors. You have the diction of a writer.
 
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HowRU?

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I hadn’t considered this but I can the same. I’m most attracted to the facial contrasts in gentlemen that I have myself. How uncanny.



I agree. Both are important. But I don’t believe we can neglect our physical form in deference to the inner. I want to honor the Lord inside out. :)



I’m sorry to hear that. Cold brewed coffee is less upsetting to the stomach. I make my own and use a ratio of 1 cup of coarse ground coffee to 3 cups of water. I let it sit for 24 to 48 hours in the refrigerator. You can make it in a French press. The cleanup is easier.

That creates the concentrate. Some dilute with water. I don’t. It has more kick. ;-)



Thank you for the compliment. That’s the Lord’s doing. He’s given me a gift for communication and writing is part of it. I’m happy to hear you’ve enjoyed my thoughts. :)

This attraction people have to others with the same physical characteristics is a bit entertaining to see. Two of my son’s friends have red hair. Both sets of parents are friends of mine. All four parents are red haired. You see it a lot, if you’re paying attention.
I was at a restaurant today where a family was dining. The father and mother were blonde, with four cute blonde kids.
This isn’t a rule, of course.
I married a beautiful brown haired lady, but she has deep blue eyes. Mine are brown. I survive, somehow.
She’s actually told me she prefers blue eyes and has hinted that I should wear blue contacts for her, since I wear contacts anyway. I haven’t taken that leap.
 
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J Daniel

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My beauty standards have been ruined.

As I am always surrounded by a certain group of women yeah..........

The issue of physical appearance was raised in a different thread and I thought it would be a great one to explore from a godly perspective. This question is open to both sexes. :)

What is your beauty standard?
What does healthy mean in your opinion?
Where are you struggling?

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?
 
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thecolorsblend

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If a woman is fat, I cannot be attracted to her. If she doesn't care about herself, why should I? Just a small amount of cardio every day would put a massive dent in America's massive obesity problem. And it wouldn't be a massive time commitment.
 
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Paidiske

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The issue of physical appearance was raised in a different thread and I thought it would be a great one to explore from a godly perspective. This question is open to both sexes. :)

What is your beauty standard?
What does healthy mean in your opinion?
Where are you struggling?

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?

This is a thread for singles to express themselves. :)

I had intended to answer, this being in the "Thirties" forum, but then saw you only want singles to reply? You might want to clarify in your OP.
 
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Paidiske

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What is your beauty standard?

I'm not really sure what this is asking, to be honest. Is it asking, "What does it take for you to be willing to walk out the door in the morning and face the world?" Or is it asking, "What does it take for you to feel beautiful?" Or is it asking, "What do you consider beautiful in others?"

What does healthy mean in your opinion?

Hmm... I guess that neither illness nor dysfunction nor unfitness prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Where are you struggling?

The perennial problem is work-life balance. I work too much to be really good for me, I have a small child with special needs, and looking after myself is often the thing that doesn't make it to the top of the priority list. I think that's partly a season-of-life thing; most working mums I know have a similar struggle. But it would be nice to have more time, energy and headspace to put into eating well, exercise, enough rest etc.

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?

I think a lot of this comes down to encouraging people to feel that they deserve to look after themselves and be looked after; that self-care is not selfish.
 
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Tone

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The issue of physical appearance was raised in a different thread and I thought it would be a great one to explore from a godly perspective. This question is open to both sexes. :)

What is your beauty standard?
What does healthy mean in your opinion?
Where are you struggling?

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?


What is your beauty standard?

Very broad (standard)...just no fake stuff...the more natural the better.

What does healthy mean in your opinion?

Having the energy to put in a good day's work.

*And to put in some of that good work once home...

Where are you struggling?

Single.

How can you share what you’ve learned without judgment? Are you doing it now?

I don't understand this question.
 
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kdm1984

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I like men who are considered traditionally handsome by Western standards: proportioned features, Roman nose, chiseled jaw, preferably bearded. Basically your Tyrone Power or Matthew McConaughey types. :)

I tend to ignore beauty standards for women as this has been such a stumbling block through the ages, particularly for our gender. I'm very nerdy and tomboyish by nature, so I never attract unwanted male attention anyway; it's not like I need to worry about it.
 
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