My heart is so hardened

Kiko777

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Well, the natural man, meaning the sinful nature of ours wouldn't have feelings for GOD, and if this is the case for you, where you recognize that you have no affections for him, maybe it's not so much about it being a mental illness, maybe you have to spend more time in the word of GOD, but maybe one way to know if it might be a disorder is if you literally feel no emotions for any other things and not just for GOD, it could be a different person, it could also be feeling no emotions after watching some entertainment, but I'm no psychiatrist, so you should go see a real one, but if you discover that you feel happy with tv, or phone or with some girl that you like but no emotions for GOD, then it could very well be that you have a spiritual problem and not a physical one, please don't treat this condition of yours lightly.
 
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Kiko777

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Also, through my experience I have found this to be true, "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." - 2 Corinthians 1:9
It felt like GOD was done with me, it felt like I was fighting by myself in vain, I felt like GOD would not answer even if I had faith, I felt all of that only to realize that I could really rely on his promises even though it felt like he would not answer, though I was despairing, the only thing for sure that kept me alive was the strength GOD was providing me, namely, to look at the cross, to have faith in his promises, in his words, despite what it feels, it may even feel like there's no point even if you have faith, but here's the thing, the very fact that you are able to just hang in there on GOD's promises, by his grace, means that it's not over, if you rely on his strength for everything, you will discover something that you may have never truly seen before even if you may have heard it happen for other people, if you discover that your own strength fails you, then rely on his unfailing LOVE and power, and then you might just discover this verse to be true just like I did, "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, with the hardness of heart, we may have both felt like GOD had already condemed us and sentenced us to death, but based on my experience I discovered that the purpose of that was to help and make me rely on his strength alone in whatever I must do and I believe that it can be true for you as well.
 
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Solid25

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Hi invalidusername,

I may be in the same boat as you and have had a long period of on and off backsliding but always wrestled with whether or not I've lost my salvation. Can I ask you a few questions? Its not my intention to scare you with these or make you dwell on something if you don't want to. I'm just trying to get some clarity for myself as well.

1. Were there times when you searched for help/hope on these forums and still sinned afterwards?

2. Had you already known scriptures like from Hebrews and other passages like Ephesians 5 that talked about " anyone who continues to live like this will not enter the kingdom".....and then still have into sin?

3. Are you still giving in/struggling with sins from time to time?

I have been all three and it's been making me question whether I fell off the deep end without knowing it and am experiencing a hell on Earth now.

I've heard all the suggestions:
" If you're here on this site it means you still care"
" If your asking for help here it means you haven't blasphemed the spirit"
" People who have blasphemed wouldn't even care"

All of that. And yet I keep giving in. So ive been in a state of confusion over whether I care or don't care....like a hyperanalysis to see if I've reached that point. But I can't seem to figure it out. All I do is review the past month ,week , day of the last sin ( for me it's inappropriate contentography, strip clubs and actually sleeping with prostitute on occasion)....like for instance I gave in today to inappropriate content. But I've been to this site plenty of times in last 6 months or so.....asking same question or typing in same searches on Google...." Willful sin and feeling reprobate"...."have I gone too far" ....." OCD VS BACKSLIDING"......you name it I've searched it..... Just to see if someone can relate. BUT then a week later I give in to sin and it has me all confused again.

I don't know which point I'm at now. Some days I feel as if all the anxiety confusion hyper analysis of myself is part of the second death and these are my punishments.

Sorry don't mean to scare you again if I did. I just wanted to ask those questions to see if you could relate.

How are you now btw? Have things gotten better?
 
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Invalidusername

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Hi invalidusername,

I may be in the same boat as you and have had a long period of on and off backsliding but always wrestled with whether or not I've lost my salvation. Can I ask you a few questions? Its not my intention to scare you with these or make you dwell on something if you don't want to. I'm just trying to get some clarity for myself as well.

1. Were there times when you searched for help/hope on these forums and still sinned afterwards?

2. Had you already known scriptures like from Hebrews and other passages like Ephesians 5 that talked about " anyone who continues to live like this will not enter the kingdom".....and then still have into sin?

3. Are you still giving in/struggling with sins from time to time?

I have been all three and it's been making me question whether I fell off the deep end without knowing it and am experiencing a hell on Earth now.

I've heard all the suggestions:
" If you're here on this site it means you still care"
" If your asking for help here it means you haven't blasphemed the spirit"
" People who have blasphemed wouldn't even care"

All of that. And yet I keep giving in. So ive been in a state of confusion over whether I care or don't care....like a hyperanalysis to see if I've reached that point. But I can't seem to figure it out. All I do is review the past month ,week , day of the last sin ( for me it's inappropriate contentography, strip clubs and actually sleeping with prostitute on occasion)....like for instance I gave in today to inappropriate content. But I've been to this site plenty of times in last 6 months or so.....asking same question or typing in same searches on Google...." Willful sin and feeling reprobate"...."have I gone too far" ....." OCD VS BACKSLIDING"......you name it I've searched it..... Just to see if someone can relate. BUT then a week later I give in to sin and it has me all confused again.

I don't know which point I'm at now. Some days I feel as if all the anxiety confusion hyper analysis of myself is part of the second death and these are my punishments.

Sorry don't mean to scare you again if I did. I just wanted to ask those questions to see if you could relate.

How are you now btw? Have things gotten better?

Don't worry about scaring me. I have a complete lack of emotions atm.I have searched for help and then sinned after in the past but no longer do that anymore. I was aware of the Hebrews verses but I had a OSAS interpretation of those verses. I no longer sin anymore since I understand the consequences of sin better now.

Ok so are you 100% sure you are born again? Because being born again means it's very hard to continue in sin.

It's sad because in 2015 I felt the Holy Spirit grieving inside of me and I told Him I'd repent later. So sad. I don't feel any remorse about it though.

I really didn't understand how Christians were expected to be living in victory over sin. When you have the Holy Spirit, you have the ability to say no to sin when you weren't able to do that before. I didn't understand that. I just stayed on milk.
 
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Invalidusername

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And on your question of whether I'm doing any better or not: I'm definitely doing better now. Starting to get some of my emotions back. I think I also had a mental illness. Not an excuse but it does explain some of the things I did.
 
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Kiko777

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Hi invalidusername,

I may be in the same boat as you and have had a long period of on and off backsliding but always wrestled with whether or not I've lost my salvation. Can I ask you a few questions? Its not my intention to scare you with these or make you dwell on something if you don't want to. I'm just trying to get some clarity for myself as well.

1. Were there times when you searched for help/hope on these forums and still sinned afterwards?

2. Had you already known scriptures like from Hebrews and other passages like Ephesians 5 that talked about " anyone who continues to live like this will not enter the kingdom".....and then still have into sin?

3. Are you still giving in/struggling with sins from time to time?

I have been all three and it's been making me question whether I fell off the deep end without knowing it and am experiencing a hell on Earth now.

I've heard all the suggestions:
" If you're here on this site it means you still care"
" If your asking for help here it means you haven't blasphemed the spirit"
" People who have blasphemed wouldn't even care"

All of that. And yet I keep giving in. So ive been in a state of confusion over whether I care or don't care....like a hyperanalysis to see if I've reached that point. But I can't seem to figure it out. All I do is review the past month ,week , day of the last sin ( for me it's inappropriate contentography, strip clubs and actually sleeping with prostitute on occasion)....like for instance I gave in today to inappropriate content. But I've been to this site plenty of times in last 6 months or so.....asking same question or typing in same searches on Google...." Willful sin and feeling reprobate"...."have I gone too far" ....." OCD VS BACKSLIDING"......you name it I've searched it..... Just to see if someone can relate. BUT then a week later I give in to sin and it has me all confused again.

I don't know which point I'm at now. Some days I feel as if all the anxiety confusion hyper analysis of myself is part of the second death and these are my punishments.

Sorry don't mean to scare you again if I did. I just wanted to ask those questions to see if you could relate.

How are you now btw? Have things gotten better?
I think things have gotten better now, though recently I still struggled with masturbation but the topic wasn't clear to me, I think it was july 16th or when I last masturbated but I did it not only because I was tempted but I did not do it with inappropriate content, I think I am able to do it without lusting, but don't risk it!! I did it also because I wasn't sure if it was a sin or not, but I concluded that it was a sin because of the guilt and emptiness that I felt aftewards, like if you masturebate you don't feel complete which leads me to the conclusion that masturbation even without thinking lustfully is still sin because the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] that we feel when we reach climax is something to be shared with a spouse and not alone. Yes even though I just stopped maturbating though I am able to do it without lusting, please don't do it!! I just discovered that it is a sin. So dont risk!!

And here's the answer to your first question, I did searched up help online but yeah I still was tempted, and fell into sin, this kind of thing probably happens to a lot of people, and I know scriptures in hebrews about sinning deliberately after knowing the truth, which are very scary, but one main thing that helped me was that during the times when I felt as if GOD had rejected me and I have become like esau, by the grace of GOD, I was still somehow able to choose to have faith in christ in the cross though I don't think my heart softened in any way, or I don't think my heart felt tender in any way, so I felt hardened. I felt like I could not repent, like esau, and I was despairing feeling as if I recieved the judgement of GOD on me. But afterwards, when things got a bit better, I think I remember seeing your post, but I may have been still struggling with sin or maybe I was already struggling with a hardened heart when I first saw your post, but yeah when things got a bit better even though I haven't fully recovered which I mentioned on my post, I wanted to help you, because I thought we may have been experiencing the same hardness, and this might be the time after I was able to fight lust. Sorry I don't fully remember but yeah, I think I was already able to be willing to fight lust when I started posting to help you.

But when after I was inappropriate content free, I actually struggled with with the hardness of heart, I hated what it felt like, because I felt trapped, I did not feel like I could repent, I did not feel like I was tender towards GOD, I was despairing, so my last option by the grace of GOD was faith, even though I was not feeling any change, I stayed there, and for a few days I could not wake up properly, sleep properly, and live properly, because I just despaired. But what kept me alive was the gift that GOD gave me, it was faith, even though I despaired, it was as if the waves of despair could not destroy or ruin this thing called "rock" which is basically having faith in the works of GOD. What I also realized during my battle with the hardness of heart is that the fact that I was tempted to despair, and a verse from the scripture popped into my head, I think the Holy Spirit reminded me this "No temptation has overtaken you", I don't remember if I heard the whole verse inside my head, but it sure did gave me hope, why? Because this truth still applied, I was tempted to despair, but the very fact that the temptation was there, actually gave me hope because this verse still applied. Even now, if you are tempted, then this truth still applies to you, that, GOD saved me from that pit, so I can be a source of healing for others, and GOD is probably calling you through me, can you hear him say this?
"Come now, and let us reason together" says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool."-Isaiah 1:18

Your problem is that you deeply love lust, but you have to be willing to give that up before everything is too late, let this be a warning, GOD can give you up, people that become like Esau could not repent, why? Because they have such a love for sin that they are unwilling to come into GOD's terms of repentance, namely to give up sin and turn towards GOD. This is a warning to you, if you don't stop sinning, then your heart can be hardened in such a way where you don't even want to repent anymore. But if by the grace of GOD, you are still able to turn away from it, then surely you haven't crossed the line. I also struggled with lust, that's what made me harden my heart towards GOD. I backslided back then, but I was brought back this recent march, and I was able to abstain from inappropriate content for more than 3 months I guess, but I backslided again and I think it was on june 29th, I struggled with lust for days I guess but I just didn't want GOD to give up on me, I read from websites, I watched videos, and the scary verses from Hebrews did scare me, but I was that stubborn that even though I was scared, I still fell into sin, then I realized, I could not feel GOD anymore. It is despairingly scary. It is something I would never want to experience anymore. I in fact felt something like this when I was brought back this recent march but, this time somehow, it is worse, because I was reminded of the fact that GOD had already brought me back after I backslided, and I did it again, I was reminded of the fact that I already found relief to this kind of despair but I sinned again, and for days I could not find a relief and I was growing weary, somehow, this experience is probably worse than the last previous one, but yeah i grew weary, I realized I could not do this, it was either I was gonna give up because I didn't feel like there was any escape, or that I was gonna have faith and trust the his promises though my heart was hardened.

I didn't want to suffer, I remembered the days when I felt right with GOD, I think I wanted them back, but I'd say it was only by his grace that I was able to choose to have faith in him as my last option. And then I think I also mentioned to you in one of my posts that I found this verse to be true, "Indeed we felt that we have recieved the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead" -2 Corinthians 1:9.

And also, I think the weapon GOD had given me to be able to say no to lust was that he reminded me that I was already a justified sinner, a new born person, born of GOD, he reminded me that through something, I don't remember if it was a youtube video or a website, but I was looking for help to fight this, and GOD reminded me that I was born of him, born again, and that i didn't have to respond to my lustful desires because I am his child, he actually reminded me the identity that he gave me, A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN, A CHILD OF CHRIST WHO DIED FOR ME. And I think when I believed him, like when I believed and chose to do his advice, which is to believe that I am already his and that I must also live out that identity, it was like I didn't have to repond to lust, I still do get temptations, but now I think they are not as strong anymore. So my advice is that you live that identity, that you may find the power to overcome it no matter how deep you have fallen.


I don't know if you have crossed the line, but what I know is that GOD saved me from that pit to be a source of healing, and perhaps, I can be one for you. REPENT and believe that you have a power to overcome it, Jesus died so you would have the power to overcome that, use it, and don't neglect his blood by continuing on sinning, you never know, maybe the next time you sin again, GOD might appear in the sky, the bible does mention that we do not know the day or the hour, read this verse

Matthew 24:46-51 English Standard Version (ESV)
46 Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. 47 Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. 48 But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ 49 and begins to beat his fellow servants[a] and eats and drinks with drunkards, 50 the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know 51 and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

If you choose to say that your master is delayed, then you will be like that unfaithful servant who says "my master is delayed" and he chooses to sin. Then the verse says that the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he doesn't know, and willl cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
So if you want GOD to be pleased with you, then REPENT and turn to him, so you may find mercy and restoration. But if the mext time you sin, and the heavens open, and GOD finds you lusting, then you could very well be dead. This warning is something you must take seriously, I don't want you to despair, but you really need to stop and come to the LORD, if you stop, you may still hear him saying to you

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord "though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool." -Isaiah 1:18
 
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Kiko777

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I think things have gotten better now, though recently I still struggled with masturbation but the topic wasn't clear to me, I think it was july 16th or when I last masturbated but I did it not only because I was tempted but I did not do it with inappropriate content, I think I am able to do it without lusting, but don't risk it!! I did it also because I wasn't sure if it was a sin or not, but I concluded that it was a sin because of the guilt and emptiness that I felt aftewards, like if you masturebate you don't feel complete which leads me to the conclusion that masturbation even without thinking lustfully is still sin because the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] that we feel when we reach climax is something to be shared with a spouse and not alone. Yes even though I just stopped maturbating though I am able to do it without lusting, please don't do it!! I just discovered that it is a sin. So dont risk!!

And here's the answer to your first question, I did searched up help online but yeah I still was tempted, and fell into sin, this kind of thing probably happens to a lot of people, and I know scriptures in hebrews about sinning deliberately after knowing the truth, which are very scary, but one main thing that helped me was that during the times when I felt as if GOD had rejected me and I have become like esau, by the grace of GOD, I was still somehow able to choose to have faith in christ in the cross though I don't think my heart softened in any way, or I don't think my heart felt tender in any way, so I felt hardened. I felt like I could not repent, like esau, and I was despairing feeling as if I recieved the judgement of GOD on me. But afterwards, when things got a bit better, I think I remember seeing your post, but I may have been still struggling with sin or maybe I was already struggling with a hardened heart when I first saw your post, but yeah when things got a bit better even though I haven't fully recovered which I mentioned on my post, I wanted to help you, because I thought we may have been experiencing the same hardness, and this might be the time after I was able to fight lust. Sorry I don't fully remember but yeah, I think I was already able to be willing to fight lust when I started posting to help you.

But when after I was inappropriate content free, I actually struggled with with the hardness of heart, I hated what it felt like, because I felt trapped, I did not feel like I could repent, I did not feel like I was tender towards GOD, I was despairing, so my last option by the grace of GOD was faith, even though I was not feeling any change, I stayed there, and for a few days I could not wake up properly, sleep properly, and live properly, because I just despaired. But what kept me alive was the gift that GOD gave me, it was faith, even though I despaired, it was as if the waves of despair could not destroy or ruin this thing called "rock" which is basically having faith in the works of GOD. What I also realized during my battle with the hardness of heart is that the fact that I was tempted to despair, and a verse from the scripture popped into my head, I think the Holy Spirit reminded me this "No temptation has overtaken you", I don't remember if I heard the whole verse inside my head, but it sure did gave me hope, why? Because this truth still applied, I was tempted to despair, but the very fact that the temptation was there, actually gave me hope because this verse still applied. Even now, if you are tempted, then this truth still applies to you, that, GOD saved me from that pit, so I can be a source of healing for others, and GOD is probably calling you through me, can you hear him say this?
"Come now, and let us reason together" says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool."-Isaiah 1:18

Your problem is that you deeply love lust, but you have to be willing to give that up before everything is too late, let this be a warning, GOD can give you up, people that become like Esau could not repent, why? Because they have such a love for sin that they are unwilling to come into GOD's terms of repentance, namely to give up sin and turn towards GOD. This is a warning to you, if you don't stop sinning, then your heart can be hardened in such a way where you don't even want to repent anymore. But if by the grace of GOD, you are still able to turn away from it, then surely you haven't crossed the line. I also struggled with lust, that's what made me harden my heart towards GOD. I backslided back then, but I was brought back this recent march, and I was able to abstain from inappropriate content for more than 3 months I guess, but I backslided again and I think it was on june 29th, I struggled with lust for days I guess but I just didn't want GOD to give up on me, I read from websites, I watched videos, and the scary verses from Hebrews did scare me, but I was that stubborn that even though I was scared, I still fell into sin, then I realized, I could not feel GOD anymore. It is despairingly scary. It is something I would never want to experience anymore. I in fact felt something like this when I was brought back this recent march but, this time somehow, it is worse, because I was reminded of the fact that GOD had already brought me back after I backslided, and I did it again, I was reminded of the fact that I already found relief to this kind of despair but I sinned again, and for days I could not find a relief and I was growing weary, somehow, this experience is probably worse than the last previous one, but yeah i grew weary, I realized I could not do this, it was either I was gonna give up because I didn't feel like there was any escape, or that I was gonna have faith and trust the his promises though my heart was hardened.

I didn't want to suffer, I remembered the days when I felt right with GOD, I think I wanted them back, but I'd say it was only by his grace that I was able to choose to have faith in him as my last option. And then I think I also mentioned to you in one of my posts that I found this verse to be true, "Indeed we felt that we have recieved the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead" -2 Corinthians 1:9.

And also, I think the weapon GOD had given me to be able to say no to lust was that he reminded me that I was already a justified sinner, a new born person, born of GOD, he reminded me that through something, I don't remember if it was a youtube video or a website, but I was looking for help to fight this, and GOD reminded me that I was born of him, born again, and that i didn't have to respond to my lustful desires because I am his child, he actually reminded me the identity that he gave me, A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN, A CHILD OF CHRIST WHO DIED FOR ME. And I think when I believed him, like when I believed and chose to do his advice, which is to believe that I am already his and that I must also live out that identity, it was like I didn't have to repond to lust, I still do get temptations, but now I think they are not as strong anymore. So my advice is that you live that identity, that you may find the power to overcome it no matter how deep you have fallen.


I don't know if you have crossed the line, but what I know is that GOD saved me from that pit to be a source of healing, and perhaps, I can be one for you. REPENT and believe that you have a power to overcome it, Jesus died so you would have the power to overcome that, use it, and don't neglect his blood by continuing on sinning, you never know, maybe the next time you sin again, GOD might appear in the sky, the bible does mention that we do not know the day or the hour, read this verse

Matthew 24:46-51 English Standard Version (ESV)
46 Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. 47 Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. 48 But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ 49 and begins to beat his fellow servants[a] and eats and drinks with drunkards, 50 the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know 51 and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

If you choose to say that your master is delayed, then you will be like that unfaithful servant who says "my master is delayed" and he chooses to sin. Then the verse says that the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he doesn't know, and willl cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
So if you want GOD to be pleased with you, then REPENT and turn to him, so you may find mercy and restoration. But if the mext time you sin, and the heavens open, and GOD finds you lusting, then you could very well be dead. This warning is something you must take seriously, I don't want you to despair, but you really need to stop and come to the LORD, if you stop, you may still hear him saying to you

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord "though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool." -Isaiah 1:18

I don't mean to make you despair with this post, but YOU NEED TO REPENT of your lust.
 
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Kiko777

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People might despair because of the part of my post where it says

"people that become like Esau could not repent, why? Because they have such a love for sin that they are unwilling to come into GOD's terms of repentance, namely to give up sin and turn towards GOD."

Please, everyone that reads this, I didn't mean to cause anybody to despair and fall away from christ just because you find yourself having a deep love for sin and therefore you are unwilling to repent, in fact if you find yourself in a situation where you notice that you have a deep love for a certain sin, and find yourself unwilling to repent, then you should give up the sin if you are still able to. If you are unwilling to repent, then be willing to repent and change for the better, because even though you might find yourself having a deep love for sin and unwilling to repent, then the answer should lrobably that you must be willing to change, and REPENT, you can do this if you truly trust CHRIST's power.

And I want you to believe this promise
Philippians 4:13
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" that means you are able to be willing to repent of your sin, that means that you are able to give up the very desire for sinful pleasure, you are able to give up the sin for the sake of GENUINE REPENTANCE, and this promise confirms so and definitely gives people more power and strength, just like what how it helped me.

I found myself in a similar situation but probably not exactly the same, I discovered that I had a deep love for sexual pleasure even after I was inappropriate content free.

And I guess that's probaly the reason why I still continued to touch eventhough I think that I am able to do it without lust.

And I was scared that I could not repent because I loved the pleasure it brought me, and loved it deeply, and I think I found myself in a similar situation just like what I described above,

"they have such a love for sin that they are unwilling to come into GOD's terms of repentance, namely to give up sin and turn towards GOD."

I think my love for pleasure is what kept causing me to be unable to repent. But finally, by the grace of GOD, I was able to choose to repent and come into GOD's terms, namely to turn away from sin and turn towards him. I think he also gave me the desire for something greater than sin, namely for a softened heart, a joy in GOD, a joy that could replace any sinful and worldy desires I had.

By the grace of GOD I was still able to turn away from it, I discovered that masturbation does not fulfill GOD's design for sex because it is meant to be enjoyed in a relationship of a husband and a wife, the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] is meant to be enjoyed in having sex with a spouse. But the guilt and emptiness it brought me lead me to conclude that it was a perversion of GOD's design and through this, GOD gave me another reason to quit masturbation and call it a sin.

So please don't risk doing it even without lusting, because it is still a sin.

To make things clear for you guys, I think I was able to quit lust because GOD reminded me of my identity in Christ and he caused me to live with that I dentity, but even after things were getting better, I still struggled with the idea of masturbation if it was a sin or not, since I still wasn't 100% sure, I did it, I used it as my outlet for sexual arousal and to prevent myself from lusting, I masturbated together with living out my identity as a born again christian, now it may be that I actually wasn't truly living that Identity and I was probably wrong, since 2 days ago I just discovered that masturbation is wrong, so I yeah I probably was not truly living out that Identity, but now, things are better, I am able to say no to lust, by believing and fighting sin as a justified sinner, and I am able to say no because GOD convicted me with the emptiness and guilt that I felt after masturbation. I hope things are clear, sorry, I don't even know if I said everything right about the how things happened in the right chronological order, but yeah I may be wrong for some of them, but I think the experiences are still true, it's just that I don't exactly remember if all of them in a chronological order.
 
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Kiko777

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Don't worry about scaring me. I have a complete lack of emotions atm.I have searched for help and then sinned after in the past but no longer do that anymore. I was aware of the Hebrews verses but I had a OSAS interpretation of those verses. I no longer sin anymore since I understand the consequences of sin better now.

Ok so are you 100% sure you are born again? Because being born again means it's very hard to continue in sin.

It's sad because in 2015 I felt the Holy Spirit grieving inside of me and I told Him I'd repent later. So sad. I don't feel any remorse about it though.

I really didn't understand how Christians were expected to be living in victory over sin. When you have the Holy Spirit, you have the ability to say no to sin when you weren't able to do that before. I didn't understand that. I just stayed on milk.

You overcome sin by believing the Promises of GOD one of them is 1 Corinthians 10:13"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." You should also live your identity in christ, namely as a born again child and that you don't have to feed your lust because you are a born again and than you can overcome it.

Ask GOD for JOY in him, ask him if you really have tasted that the LORD is good,

1 Peter 2:1-3
"1So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.2Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— 3if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good."

And for those who have no clue what JOY in the LORD means, go and search up and watch John Piper in youtube, and learn from him what the true nature of faith means, and ask GOD for what true JOY in christ means and if he doesn't answer the first time you asked, keep asking, learn from the parable of the widow and the judge Luke 18:1-8 read this parable and learn how to keep praying to GOD.
 
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Kiko777

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Wait sorry for my replies, I confused Solid 25 for invalid username, sorry invalidusername if my replies are a bit confusing. But I hope you guys take my advice, I'll try fixing my replies later so things are not confusing SORRRRYYY!!! I THINK MISREAD THE SITUATION SORRYY
 
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Wait sorry for my replies, I confused Solid 25 for invalid username, sorry invalidusername if my replies are a bit confusing. But I hope you guys take my advice, I'll try fixing my replies later LORD willing so things are not confusing SORRRRYYY!!! I THINK MISREAD THE SITUATION SORRYY

Sorry solid 25
I thought it was invalidusername who asking me something, so
I think things have gotten better now, though recently I still struggled with masturbation but the topic wasn't clear to me, I think it was july 16th or when I last masturbated but I did it not only because I was tempted but I did not do it with inappropriate content, I think I am able to do it without lusting, but don't risk it!! I did it also because I wasn't sure if it was a sin or not, but I concluded that it was a sin because of the guilt and emptiness that I felt aftewards, like if you masturebate you don't feel complete which leads me to the conclusion that masturbation even without thinking lustfully is still sin because the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] that we feel when we reach climax is something to be shared with a spouse and not alone. Yes even though I just stopped maturbating though I am able to do it without lusting, please don't do it!! I just discovered that it is a sin. So dont risk!!

And here's the answer to your first question, I did searched up help online but yeah I still was tempted, and fell into sin, this kind of thing probably happens to a lot of people, and I know scriptures in hebrews about sinning deliberately after knowing the truth, which are very scary, but one main thing that helped me was that during the times when I felt as if GOD had rejected me and I have become like esau, by the grace of GOD, I was still somehow able to choose to have faith in christ in the cross though I don't think my heart softened in any way, or I don't think my heart felt tender in any way, so I felt hardened. I felt like I could not repent, like esau, and I was despairing feeling as if I recieved the judgement of GOD on me. But afterwards, when things got a bit better, I think I remember seeing your post, but I may have been still struggling with sin or maybe I was already struggling with a hardened heart when I first saw your post, but yeah when things got a bit better even though I haven't fully recovered which I mentioned on my post, I wanted to help you, because I thought we may have been experiencing the same hardness, and this might be the time after I was able to fight lust. Sorry I don't fully remember but yeah, I think I was already able to be willing to fight lust when I started posting to help you.

But when after I was inappropriate content free, I actually struggled with with the hardness of heart, I hated what it felt like, because I felt trapped, I did not feel like I could repent, I did not feel like I was tender towards GOD, I was despairing, so my last option by the grace of GOD was faith, even though I was not feeling any change, I stayed there, and for a few days I could not wake up properly, sleep properly, and live properly, because I just despaired. But what kept me alive was the gift that GOD gave me, it was faith, even though I despaired, it was as if the waves of despair could not destroy or ruin this thing called "rock" which is basically having faith in the works of GOD. What I also realized during my battle with the hardness of heart is that the fact that I was tempted to despair, and a verse from the scripture popped into my head, I think the Holy Spirit reminded me this "No temptation has overtaken you", I don't remember if I heard the whole verse inside my head, but it sure did gave me hope, why? Because this truth still applied, I was tempted to despair, but the very fact that the temptation was there, actually gave me hope because this verse still applied. Even now, if you are tempted, then this truth still applies to you, that, GOD saved me from that pit, so I can be a source of healing for others, and GOD is probably calling you through me, can you hear him say this?
"Come now, and let us reason together" says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool."-Isaiah 1:18

Your problem is that you deeply love lust, but you have to be willing to give that up before everything is too late, let this be a warning, GOD can give you up, people that become like Esau could not repent, why? Because they have such a love for sin that they are unwilling to come into GOD's terms of repentance, namely to give up sin and turn towards GOD. This is a warning to you, if you don't stop sinning, then your heart can be hardened in such a way where you don't even want to repent anymore. But if by the grace of GOD, you are still able to turn away from it, then surely you haven't crossed the line. I also struggled with lust, that's what made me harden my heart towards GOD. I backslided back then, but I was brought back this recent march, and I was able to abstain from inappropriate content for more than 3 months I guess, but I backslided again and I think it was on june 29th, I struggled with lust for days I guess but I just didn't want GOD to give up on me, I read from websites, I watched videos, and the scary verses from Hebrews did scare me, but I was that stubborn that even though I was scared, I still fell into sin, then I realized, I could not feel GOD anymore. It is despairingly scary. It is something I would never want to experience anymore. I in fact felt something like this when I was brought back this recent march but, this time somehow, it is worse, because I was reminded of the fact that GOD had already brought me back after I backslided, and I did it again, I was reminded of the fact that I already found relief to this kind of despair but I sinned again, and for days I could not find a relief and I was growing weary, somehow, this experience is probably worse than the last previous one, but yeah i grew weary, I realized I could not do this, it was either I was gonna give up because I didn't feel like there was any escape, or that I was gonna have faith and trust the his promises though my heart was hardened.

I didn't want to suffer, I remembered the days when I felt right with GOD, I think I wanted them back, but I'd say it was only by his grace that I was able to choose to have faith in him as my last option. And then I think I also mentioned to you in one of my posts that I found this verse to be true, "Indeed we felt that we have recieved the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead" -2 Corinthians 1:9.

And also, I think the weapon GOD had given me to be able to say no to lust was that he reminded me that I was already a justified sinner, a new born person, born of GOD, he reminded me that through something, I don't remember if it was a youtube video or a website, but I was looking for help to fight this, and GOD reminded me that I was born of him, born again, and that i didn't have to respond to my lustful desires because I am his child, he actually reminded me the identity that he gave me, A BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN, A CHILD OF CHRIST WHO DIED FOR ME. And I think when I believed him, like when I believed and chose to do his advice, which is to believe that I am already his and that I must also live out that identity, it was like I didn't have to repond to lust, I still do get temptations, but now I think they are not as strong anymore. So my advice is that you live that identity, that you may find the power to overcome it no matter how deep you have fallen.


I don't know if you have crossed the line, but what I know is that GOD saved me from that pit to be a source of healing, and perhaps, I can be one for you. REPENT and believe that you have a power to overcome it, Jesus died so you would have the power to overcome that, use it, and don't neglect his blood by continuing on sinning, you never know, maybe the next time you sin again, GOD might appear in the sky, the bible does mention that we do not know the day or the hour, read this verse

Matthew 24:46-51 English Standard Version (ESV)
46 Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. 47 Truly, I say to you, he will set him over all his possessions. 48 But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ 49 and begins to beat his fellow servants[a] and eats and drinks with drunkards, 50 the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know 51 and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

If you choose to say that your master is delayed, then you will be like that unfaithful servant who says "my master is delayed" and he chooses to sin. Then the verse says that the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he doesn't know, and willl cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
So if you want GOD to be pleased with you, then REPENT and turn to him, so you may find mercy and restoration. But if the mext time you sin, and the heavens open, and GOD finds you lusting, then you could very well be dead. This warning is something you must take seriously, I don't want you to despair, but you really need to stop and come to the LORD, if you stop, you may still hear him saying to you

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord "though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool." -Isaiah 1:18

Sorry Solid25, I thought it was me being asked by invalid username so I replied with as if it was him who was asking me, but I discovered that it was a different person who was asking and the one being asked. I though I was being asked so I replied, but yeah sorry about that.

I'll try to edit my replies later LORD willing, so things are clearer.
 
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WannaWitness

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I'm pretty late in the game here (and too many pages to read at the moment), but for those in this thread (including the OP) who are struggling to come back to Christ, I'm happy to post one particular song that hopefully help. I say hopefully because sometimes music can speak in such a way that mere words (whether spoken orally or in writing) can't. The lyrics in combination with the right music can move in ways we don't expect; that's the way it works with me quite often. This is not a new song, but the message rings true. Also, I know I have posted it in other threads, but it doesn't hurt to post it again, especially for the sake of people who come and go on the forums, therefore, may not have heard it.

Anyway, be blessed as you listen!

 
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Kiko777

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My mistake was always saying "I'll repent later."

Then the Holy Spirit stopped convicting me at one point. Now I'm in deep trouble.

Well if you keep saying that, you may become like the servant who said "my master is delayed", then GOD will come on a day and at an hour you do not expect him, if he finds you not doing his will, then he will cut you to pieces and put you with the unfaithful, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
 
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Well if you keep saying that, you may become like the servant who said "my master is delayed", then GOD will come on a day and at an hour you do not expect him, if he finds you not doing his will, then he will cut you to pieces and put you with the unfaithful, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I know. I don't sin anymore. I am saying I made that mistake.
 
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Invalidusername

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I still struggle with certain sins like masturbation but not so much lust, but I know that masturbation is still a sin so please pray for me.

I lost all of my libido when I lost my emotions so it's been easy for me to quit that sin. But I understand the struggle. Just remember if you have the Holy Spirit then you are empowered by God Himself to defeat that sin. You'll make it.
 
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pinkjess

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Totally feels like you don't have convictions anymore does it?? Totally feels like you don't love GOD anymore, but you know what, I think I felt the same way, but what your problem might be is pride, just like what I discovered about myself, I remember trying to "feel" godly sorrow just so I could properly repent and grieve over my sins but I just could not even muster up sorrows that leads to repentance, the problem is that I kept looking at myself, about how I felt, about how my heart is so hardened that there may be a point of no return for me, true there comes a point of no return, but here's the thing, I get the fact that having an affection for GOD is a good thing, probably one of the most important aspects, but don't ever forget the most important of all, the works of Christ on the cross, his love for you never depends on how hard your heart is, in fact, he even died for you so you can have a soft heart, though you may have quenched the spirit, I suspect I may have also done the same thing, but maybe not totally in a sense where we basiccally reject him, but we know we don't, why? Because we want him back, and I don't even think I have fully recovered yet, but I found new strength in the works of CHRIST, on the CROSS, that I don't have to try "feel" anymore on my own, Philippians 1:6 "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Believe this, if by the grace of GOD you are still able to hold on to this despite how you feel, then that is a good sign, my fellow servant, the very fact that you have not denied christ in your heart is a sign that you have not committed the unpardonable sin, you may have quenched the spirit, but stop looking at your heart, saying "I can't repent", though you may not feel as if your heart has softened, doesn't mean it's over, I think I did ask GOD something about softening my heart, or answering my prayer about rekindling my heart, even I have confested to him what I have done, though in my confession, I didn't feel much change, I confested anyway, brother I was losing hope, faith was my only last option which I chose but still didn't feel softened, then later on I saw this audio clip about Ichabod Spencer "I can't repent" you can search it up on youtube, and you can also install an app called I'll be honest and find it on their app or their youtube channel, but in the audio, I think Spencer does highlight the fact that we try to look presentable "enough" to GOD, we try to be broken "enough" and very possibly that both of us were trying to feel broken "enough" to feel godly sorrows that leads to repentance but we couldn't do it, we try to feel "enough" and when we feel the brokeness, we offer our broken hearts to GOD, but this time, for both of us it didn't work, why do you think that is? Why? Why won't GOD give me feelings so I could feel broken and offer my heart to him? My friend, I think it's good and that we should we give our hearts to GOD, that we offer ourselves to him, and submit to him, but the offering for our sins is probably not our hearts, nor our own efforts to repent, nor our strength to feel broken enough, nor our own works, my friend, let me tell you this, the offering for our sins was done by GOD himself on the cross around 2000 years ago, someone told me this, I guess what the lady to me was saying was back in the old testament, the priest would have a goat, or a lamb as a sacrifice and offerings for our sins, but the priest would try to inspect if the lamb had spots on it or if it was spotless, and if it was spotless then it's good for sacrifice, but notice that the sacrifice was supposed to be a spotless lamb, notice that what the priest inspects or checks is the lamb, not our sins, not our hearts, and same thing for what GOD did on the cross, he had a spotless lamb, he wasn't looking at your heart for a sacrifice, he already had a perfect and a spotless sacrifice that he offered for our sins, the offering is CHRIST, he sacrifices a spotless lamb to cover our sins, so my advice is to look and inspect the lamb, which is CHRIST, not your hearts, I tell you this though I have not fully recovered, my friend though it is good to test our own faith like what the bible says in 2 Corinthians 13:5 "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" we don't want to do it to the point where we basically forget to look to Christ, testing our hearts is good, and if we fail the test, then look to Christ for help, and not despair because of the hardness and ugliness of our hearts and sins. I really encourage you to search up on youtube " I can't repent" by Ichabod Spencer, I think the audio does points out that people like us are not necessarily struggling with not being able to repent, but that we are prideful, we think we must muster up the strength to be broken, we think we must put enough effort, you may have forgotten this because of your backsliding, but having a relationship with Christ is not about being broken "enough" or feeling "enough" or working "enough" stop trying and start resting on the works of CHRIST, Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Let us both stop carrying the weight of our hardened and stony hearts because of our backslidings, but let us learn to be humble and recognize the fact that we will fail if we keep doing it ourselves, "come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest", we both won't be able to feel something for GOD without his power, but the reason why we probably can't even muster up strength to feel much sorrow for our sins or much desire for him is because we try to do it ourselves, and he may have thought something like "it's good that you won't feel this tenderness on your own strength and recognize your failure so that you would trust on my strength and on my works on the cross", you are prideful for thinking that you could just muster it up like before, maybe because you thought it was you who softened your heart the whole time, true you did backslide which displeases him, but he can also do a work in you by making you feel this way as he may have done for me, that we would both recognize this other area of our life, namely how we repent, we both thought GOD would be available later, so we sinned, we both thought we could feel him again, and we find ourselves unable to "feel" and worried that we have sinned to the point of no return, we seek repentance thinking we could not find it because we feel hardened, but maybe it's not even that we could not find repentance, but that we are seeking it in the wrong way, this hardened feeling of our hearts may just be a lesson from GOD to look to him and not on our own hearts, because we mock him everytime we time we strive on our own to repent, and not rely on his works on the cross, my friend, do you want those sensations back? Do you long for his rest again? The Joy you may have once felt, do you miss the strokes of his love, his fire around your heart that kept you warmth and tender, my friend what else makes you think I don't struggle with the same thing as you do? Even as I tell you this, I don't think I have fully recovered, but now I know that I have a GOD to fully rely on rekindling my heart for him, I have a GOD who died for me, if you recognize that you are tempted to despair and lose all hope, or tempted to rely on your strength to muster up the tenderness instead of relying on his spirit, then remember this, 1 corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." Your heart is so prideful you think you were the only one suffering from this kind of problem, the devil temps you into thinking that you're alone and that no one understand you, I think I do understand your case, I was having a hard time looking for people online who have recovered from this kind of stuff, and I may have found people but not 100% sure if they experienced the same thing, but a lot of times I would get a lot of advices on how to soften my hardened heart, but I guess I still wasn't sure if they could relate to me, but here I am, still in the process of recovery, but haven't fully recovered, I think GOD did turn my searching of "who can understand me and help me" into a healing so that if ever I come across such people, then i'll be able to relate to them and help them. And listen to Ichabod Spencer, please do it.
Thank you
 
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Dan61861

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God forbid any of us sin, yet when we do we confess our sin and Christ will forgive us. Understand, our flesh cannot please God. Not even a little bit. It's Christ's passion for us that saves us. It's Christ and His work alone that saves us. This is our hope, the hope in all Christians. We do not look upon ourselves for salvation, our eyes are set upon God. For only God can save. Our confidence isn't upon ourselves, it's upon the redemption of Christ's works.

We all sin, there isn't one that does not. We all struggle with sin, as Christians. Yet their is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. When we look towards the law, letting it condemn us we trample upon the works of Christ. Have confidence, have hope, have faith that Jesus has done all for you. Rest in Him, it is finished.

In Christ
Daniel
 
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