I Cant Be Financially Attached To You Anymore

[Holding On]

Since being married we have had some financial issues mainly my mishandling funds. The last straw came when I lost our rent money gambling. Yes I gambled. I never did this before. Fact is my wife packed and moved out she has been living with her mom for 34 days. The day before our aniversery june 9 she told me she wants a divorce, only after asking many time. She said " I didnt want to tell you because I didnt want to hurt your feelings." . I was and still am hurting and confused. My sister tried spoke with her and she told my sister " she only said yes she would marry me because she did not want to hurt my feelings. I moved out so she could move back in with my step son. Point: I have prayed and continue to pray standing on Gods Word. My wife dont want to sit down with our pastor and talk. She blocked my calls we only speak through FB messenger. She was married for 10 years in a abusive relationship divorced him and Im the second. I have never been married I truly do not believe in divorce especially for somthing that can be repaired. Her family love me and mine her. But I believe her mom has a big influence on her because she has been seperated fro her second husband for 7 years never divorced. She has not filed for divorce and seems to not care to. I will not because I still love and I believe we can work through this. But she is just not hearing me. I admit finacially I could have did better just felt it was not as bad until now. I totally understand her stress but I thought we where in this together. Yes I messed no excuse. I take full blame. I just want to restore our marriage. I have a good wife. My pastor said he tried and she dont want to sit down and talk. I dont know what she is doing or plans to but I continue to love her and be faithful until she moves forward. I praying GOD interviens or will he allow this to carry out? I could not imagine GOD letting this continue but I dont know. Any suggestions.

 

[Endeavourer]

What plan can you offer her so she will be financially safe from you?

 

[Mel333]

Since being married we have had some financial issues mainly my mishandling funds. The last straw came when I lost our rent money gambling. Yes I gambled. I never did this before. Fact is my wife packed and moved out she has been living with her mom for 34 days. The day before our aniversery june 9 she told me she wants a divorce, only after asking many time. She said " I didnt want to tell you because I didnt want to hurt your feelings." . I was and still am hurting and confused. My sister tried spoke with her and she told my sister " she only said yes she would marry me because she did not want to hurt my feelings. I moved out so she could move back in with my step son. Point: I have prayed and continue to pray standing on Gods Word. My wife dont want to sit down with our pastor and talk. She blocked my calls we only speak through FB messenger. She was married for 10 years in a abusive relationship divorced him and Im the second. I have never been married I truly do not believe in divorce especially for somthing that can be repaired. Her family love me and mine her. But I believe her mom has a big influence on her because she has been seperated fro her second husband for 7 years never divorced. She has not filed for divorce and seems to not care to. I will not because I still love and I believe we can work through this. But she is just not hearing me. I admit finacially I could have did better just felt it was not as bad until now. I totally understand her stress but I thought we where in this together. Yes I messed no excuse. I take full blame. I just want to restore our marriage. I have a good wife. My pastor said he tried and she dont want to sit down and talk. I dont know what she is doing or plans to but I continue to love her and be faithful until she moves forward. I praying GOD interviens or will he allow this to carry out? I could not imagine GOD letting this continue but I dont know. Any suggestions.

Oh i can hear your hurt.

We are tempted to gamble and it becomes a snare. It steals from you and the house always wins in the end. There are many financial snares. I've found the best way to earn money is to work for it honestly.

For the moment, I think it's best to give your wife some space. You have obviously left the ball in her court and if she cannot communicate or resolve the marriage than I'm afraid she is not committed to the relationship or to her vows or to her marriage. If this is the case, you should let her go for the meantime and focus on cleaning up the gambling habit and secure your financial situation.

Maybe in doing this, there is a possibility she will come back to you...

Women usually want security so maybe it's because of the gambling?

Not much you can do if the other isn't committed to a relationship however. Maybe through all this and she does leave, you clean up your life and you'll find a new wife who wants to be with you. Why would you want to be with someone who says that they married you because they 'didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying no'?

Anyway, all you can do is learn from your mistakes, read some NT on any advice on the situation as well, oh and prayer.

 

[eleos1954]

Since being married we have had some financial issues mainly my mishandling funds. The last straw came when I lost our rent money gambling. Yes I gambled. I never did this before. Fact is my wife packed and moved out she has been living with her mom for 34 days. The day before our aniversery june 9 she told me she wants a divorce, only after asking many time. She said " I didnt want to tell you because I didnt want to hurt your feelings." . I was and still am hurting and confused. My sister tried spoke with her and she told my sister " she only said yes she would marry me because she did not want to hurt my feelings. I moved out so she could move back in with my step son. Point: I have prayed and continue to pray standing on Gods Word. My wife dont want to sit down with our pastor and talk. She blocked my calls we only speak through FB messenger. She was married for 10 years in a abusive relationship divorced him and Im the second. I have never been married I truly do not believe in divorce especially for somthing that can be repaired. Her family love me and mine her. But I believe her mom has a big influence on her because she has been seperated fro her second husband for 7 years never divorced. She has not filed for divorce and seems to not care to. I will not because I still love and I believe we can work through this. But she is just not hearing me. I admit finacially I could have did better just felt it was not as bad until now. I totally understand her stress but I thought we where in this together. Yes I messed no excuse. I take full blame. I just want to restore our marriage. I have a good wife. My pastor said he tried and she dont want to sit down and talk. I dont know what she is doing or plans to but I continue to love her and be faithful until she moves forward. I praying GOD interviens or will he allow this to carry out? I could not imagine GOD letting this continue but I dont know. Any suggestions.

Follow your own suggestion.

"I dont know what she is doing or plans to but I continue to love her and be faithful until she moves forward."

At some point she will move forward, the ball is in her court.

Prayer and patience. Give it time. She needs time as well.

Praying the Lord will bring you both together. Amen

 

[Holding On]

Follow your own suggestion.

"I dont know what she is doing or plans to but I continue to love her and be faithful until she moves forward."

At some point she will move forward, the ball is in her court.

Prayer and patience. Give it time. She needs time as well.

Praying the Lord will bring you both together. Amen

 

[Holding On]

Yes I will continue to love her and faithful... praying she does not move forward. Mark 10 6-9

 

[Endeavourer]

Yes I will continue to love her and faithful... praying she does not move forward. Mark 10 6-9

You need a plan on how to protect her from your poor financial impulses. Until you can offer her a plan that protects her she will have no reason to believe she is not coming back to more of the same.

Can you put the bank accounts solely under her name, for example? What are some of the other ways you can protect her from your impulses impacting her financial security?

 

[Holding On]

You need a plan on how to protect her from your poor financial impulses. Until you can offer her a plan that protects her she will have no reason to believe she is not coming back to more of the same.

Can you put the bank accounts solely under her name, for example? What are some of the other ways you can protect her from your impulses impacting her financial security?

 

[Holding On]

I took care of all bills. Then I said from here forward you will be in charge of the money seperate accounts. She say "dont think your doing that for me" I said babe Im doing this because your my wife. Any about two hours ago.. I went to pick up my mail... I was told my wife and some women came and started moving stuff out. My pastor say her heart is hard toward me and only GOD SPIRIT can work on her but he cant change her mind. So I can only continue to love pray and stand in faith and allow GOD to work on me to be a better man overall. God knows my heart I will never gamble again... most importantantly I will be a good steward with all GOD intrust with me. I never wanted my wife to be hurt. She says she is not mad, hurt, .... but her actions

 

[Holding On]

I took care of all bills. Then I said from here forward you will be in charge of the money seperate accounts. She say "dont think your doing that for me" I said babe Im doing this because your my wife. Any about two hours ago.. I went to pick up my mail... I was told my wife and some women came and started moving stuff out. My pastor say her heart is hard toward me and only GOD SPIRIT can work on her but he cant change her mind. So I can only continue to love pray and stand in faith and allow GOD to work on me to be a better man overall. God knows my heart I will never gamble again... most importantantly I will be a good steward with all GOD intrust with me. I never wanted my wife to be hurt. She says she is not mad, hurt, .... but her actions

 

[eleos1954]

Yes I will continue to love her and faithful... praying she does not move forward. Mark 10 6-9

Moving forward does not mean she will do so in divorce .... just means she will realize that a resolve needs to happen one way or another.

It is very difficult when a trust has been broken and usually takes time for that to be repaired.