- Nov 25, 2018
- 153
- 129
- 34
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Episcopalian
- Marital Status
- Single
Hi everyone,
So due to my once immense passion for helping others, I took a job at a mental health treatment facility. I worked around 50-60 hours a week overnight, often doing 16 hour shifts (doubles) and weekends. It was rough. I stopped going to church and my support groups. I just didn't have time. I have bipolar, addiction, and an anxiety disorder, so my stress tolerance is pretty low. Needless to say, I burned out quick. And when I say I burned out, I crashed and burned. Went on a 3 day booze and drug binge that landed me in a psychiatric hospital. Did 5 days there, now I'm out and rethinking things.
I'm scheduled for peer support training in late June. My agency will rehire me as a peer support specialist, working 9-5 (which is nice) and 40 hours per week (also nice). The wage will be higher, so I'll be making close to what I made working overtime, which is also great.
The issue is, due to my immense stress reaction, I don't have the same fervor and passion I once did toward the work. I feel emotionally numb to it. Indifferent. This has caused me to rethink my career in public service. I have a year of schooling down toward an accounting degree. Accounting is fun and interesting, but I'm not passionate about it. I figure if I'm going to be indifferent toward my work, I might as well be rich and indifferent. Accounting offers a career ladder, and I'm naturally an ambitious and driven person. The field is stressful in its own right. Tax season is insane for accountants, so I have to consider that.
I don't want to give up this easy. I want to rediscover the passion I once had for being of service to others. It felt so good, like I was making a real difference. I absolutely loved it. How can I break through this numbness and get back to where I was?
So due to my once immense passion for helping others, I took a job at a mental health treatment facility. I worked around 50-60 hours a week overnight, often doing 16 hour shifts (doubles) and weekends. It was rough. I stopped going to church and my support groups. I just didn't have time. I have bipolar, addiction, and an anxiety disorder, so my stress tolerance is pretty low. Needless to say, I burned out quick. And when I say I burned out, I crashed and burned. Went on a 3 day booze and drug binge that landed me in a psychiatric hospital. Did 5 days there, now I'm out and rethinking things.
I'm scheduled for peer support training in late June. My agency will rehire me as a peer support specialist, working 9-5 (which is nice) and 40 hours per week (also nice). The wage will be higher, so I'll be making close to what I made working overtime, which is also great.
The issue is, due to my immense stress reaction, I don't have the same fervor and passion I once did toward the work. I feel emotionally numb to it. Indifferent. This has caused me to rethink my career in public service. I have a year of schooling down toward an accounting degree. Accounting is fun and interesting, but I'm not passionate about it. I figure if I'm going to be indifferent toward my work, I might as well be rich and indifferent. Accounting offers a career ladder, and I'm naturally an ambitious and driven person. The field is stressful in its own right. Tax season is insane for accountants, so I have to consider that.
I don't want to give up this easy. I want to rediscover the passion I once had for being of service to others. It felt so good, like I was making a real difference. I absolutely loved it. How can I break through this numbness and get back to where I was?