When you realize you are at the end

[2PhiloVoid]

When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.

I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.

I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.

So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.

This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.

Really?

I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.

Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.

Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."

I wonder if Paul thought what you think on days he was stuck making tents? (I don't know, but I thought it was worth the comment, bro! )

On the serious and more practical side of things, you could potentially move to another locale with a different job base and variety. You could also make for yourself an 8 year plan to work on getting an Associates Degree somewhere that could help you move up a step or two on the ladder. Just some ideas I'm throwing out there.

 

[Andrew77]

You are not alone. Job said something like miserable comforters are the lot of you, to his friends who only criticized him, and in the end, his friends were the ones who needed him to pray for them, not the other way around!. Most of his friends simply disappeared, like seasonal streams. And Jesus suffered terribly too, so don't take what Go Braves said to heart. Some people, usually people who have plenty, do not understand how rough it is for people working low wage jobs, and how many low wage there are, because society is structured that way. It's greed that makes wages so low, instead of there being more of an equality, like Paul said when telling people to give. And Jesus said, as you have done to the least of these, so you have done to me. Many people who have plenty tell themselves that they somehow earned it, and therefore look down on those who have not, but this is not Biblical. It is the world infusing the church. So hang in there brother. And if and when God delivers you from this financial nightmare that so many Americans are living, don't forget the lessons you've learned,; that we need to help each other, and not abandon each other, and not say chin up when we should be crying with each other. And if you struggle this whole life, your reward will be great in heaven. But I am praying that God will make a way for you, out of this trouble, now! In Jesus holy name!

Yes, Job is one of my favorite books, along with Ecclesiastes. Job 3:1 for the win!

It's not greed that makes wages low. The job is only worth, what the job is worth. You can't pay a burger flipper $20/hour when you the customer are not willing to pay $20 for a low quality fast food burger.

The problem isn't the wage for me. The problem is..... there is nothing to look forward to. I'm actually earning more money now than ever before in my life (by about $2 an hour).

But does money make you happy? No.

What do I need money for.... a new car? What do I need a car for? To get to work. A place I don't want to go, to do work I don't want to do. Would my life be any better, if I had a car? No. Not really.

Years ago I worked at an autoparts store. The manager there wanted to put me in the management training program. He was convinced I would be running my own store in a few years.

But I HATED that job. I don't know if you ever worked someplace where every morning you would wake up and feel sick, like actually sick, just thinking about having to go into work. But I could have been making $60,000 a year plus profit sharing, by now. But every morning I would have this internal struggle, a fight inside my own mind "I could just call in sick.... but that's lying.... but I feel sick.... yeah but I only feel sick because I don't want to go to that job"

In some ways, I kind of wish I was like a normal person with a motivation for money. Because then I would be motivated perhaps to do things for money.

But I'm not.

Life does not improve with money. So why bother. Either way, rich or poor, you spend your life doing something you hate until you die, and then... you just die.

 

[Andrew77]

I wonder if Paul thought what you think on days he was stuck making tents? (I don't know, but I thought it was worth the comment, bro! )

On the serious and more practical side of things, you could potentially move to another locale with a different job base and variety. You could also make for yourself an 8 year plan to work on getting an Associates Degree somewhere that could help you move up a step or two on the ladder. Just some ideas I'm throwing out there.

I've always assumed Paul liked his job. Even if he wasn't thrilled with tent making, which sounds like it was a reasonable job for the time.... he was doing it to do what he really loved, which was preaching, correct? So he was doing something he enjoy either way.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I've always assumed Paul liked his job. Even if he wasn't thrilled with tent making, which sounds like it was a reasonable job for the time.... he was doing it to do what he really loved, which was preaching, correct? So he was doing something he enjoy either way.

Whatever Paul thought, I know you hate your job, and I'm sorry to hear that. I hate my job, too, and I don't think it's uncommon for us to often feel like our lives are just another episode of "Better Call Saul." However, I think you're still young enough to get some additional education, even if it takes you a few years to do so, and go in another direction in your occupation.

 

[Go Braves]

Whatever Paul thought, I know you hate your job, and I'm sorry to hear that. I hate my job, too, and I don't think it's uncommon for us to often feel like our lives are just another episode of "Better Call Saul." However, I think you're still young enough to get some additional education, even if it takes you a few years to do so, and go in another direction in your occupation.

In Georgia there's a special program for folks over the age of 62 to earn graduate degrees tuition-free. I know a few who've taken advantage of that, including a lady who never finished HS, got her GED in her 50s, then did college, then grad school. She started a whole new life for herself. 40s definitely seems doable for going back to school, especially with the online programs. There's special financial aid assistance for folks over 35 at some colleges.

 

[Joined2krist]

Well of course I tithe to the church, and give some money to the poor out of every check. That goes without saying. That's just part of being a Christian.

I'm not sure what you mean by money driven western nations. Every nation is money driven. That's why you need to a skill or ability that earns you a good income.

If you don't have it... then you don't have it. That's why I tried to learn a trade skill. Just can't do it.

I've worked at the homeless shelter, and food pantry. Those are all good things, and I'm sure some people are helped. Still doesn't change the dread of waking up in the morning, knowing I have to go to this garbage place, and do this work for the next 8 hours.

For what? So that I can spend the rest of my life, just scraping by of course..... but for what? Why bother with this existence? So that I can work hard.... to what? Continue working hard?

What is being content? Happiness without hope? Sitting here imagining the next 40 years, doing this job over and over, until I die? That's contentment? Hard to relate to that. And maybe that's my big problem. Maybe I should just sit here in a Forest Gump like empty headed happiness. Get up, go to work, go home, sleep, get up, go to work, go home go to sleep.... and somehow plaster on a prefabricated smile, like I have a mask on all day.

Just hard to relate to that. More power and admiration to those who can do it.

You are doing much better than someone in a similar condition. What's wrong with working until you grow old and die? isn't being jobless and having all you want a terrible option? I would prefer leaving my house everyday, change my environment and meeting new people than to stay at home all day even if I can get free money to take care of my needs


Your job gives you purpose, a reason to use your intellect or your strength. You might not know it but God is watching, He's watching your attitude. If you continue in good cheer, He'll reward you when you least expect it, in ways you never imagined. It doesn't matter if you've spent 20 years working, He can lift you up in a second and change your life for good.


But if you complain and mourn, you're making things worse for yourself. Change your attitude, God bless.

 

[Andrew77]

You are doing much better than someone in a similar condition. What's wrong with working until you grow old and die? isn't being jobless and having all you want a terrible option? I would prefer leaving my house everyday, change my environment and meeting new people than to stay at home all day even if I can get free money to take care of my needs


Your job gives you purpose, a reason to use your intellect or your strength. You might not know it but God is watching, He's watching your attitude. If you continue in good cheer, He'll reward you when you least expect it, in ways you never imagined. It doesn't matter if you've spent 20 years working, He can lift you up in a second and change your life for good.


But if you complain and mourn, you're making things worse for yourself. Change your attitude, God bless.

Yeah I suppose you are right. It just seems like if nothing is going to change, and if growing old and dying is all that I have to look forward to.... Kind of wish there was a fast forward button, ya know?

Sure G-d can do anything. We all know that

It's just difficult to see I guess. In my teens I knew life would get better. In my 20s I hoped life would get better. In my 30s I was begging for life to get better. Now in my 40s, the whole G-d can do it rings hollow. I want to believe, but it's a bit more difficult now than it was in my teens and twenties.

 

[Joined2krist]

Yeah I suppose you are right. It just seems like if nothing is going to change, and if growing old and dying is all that I have to look forward to.... Kind of wish there was a fast forward button, ya know?

Sure G-d can do anything. We all know that

It's just difficult to see I guess. In my teens I knew life would get better. In my 20s I hoped life would get better. In my 30s I was begging for life to get better. Now in my 40s, the whole G-d can do it rings hollow. I want to believe, but it's a bit more difficult now than it was in my teens and twenties.

He can change your life at any time even in your 70s and it will still be worthwhile for you. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding"

It takes nothing special for God to change things for you even in your 40s. A viral video has turned a homeless man into a millionaire, a random act of kindness has been the reason for someone's breakthrough financially. You're not old, I guess you feel you are but you're only as old as you feel. As long as you still have strength, keep doing it until you get a better deal.


We are all gonna have to work till we grow old and die too, I would much rather work than not work, I just hate the thought of being idle and if I'm offered a paycheck for doing nothing, I won't take it.

Do you have friends are work?

 

[Andrew77]

He can change your life at any time even in your 70s and it will still be worthwhile for you. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding"

It takes nothing special for God to change things for you even in your 40s. A viral video has turned a homeless man into a millionaire, a random act of kindness has been the reason for someone's breakthrough financially. You're not old, I guess you feel you are but you're only as old as you feel. As long as you still have strength, keep doing it until you get a better deal.

We are all gonna have to work till we grow old and die too, I would much rather work than not work, I just hate the thought of being idle and if I'm offered a paycheck for doing nothing, I won't take it.

Do you have friends are work?

No, I don't do 'friends'. Friends are just people who pretend to be nice, before they stab you in the back.

I'm not much for getting paid to do nothing. Nor do I wish to stay completely idle.

Honestly I can't think of anything I 'want' to do
Well I can, I want to go to Heaven where everything will be great and wonderful

Thanks for your post.

 

[Willing-heart]

“In any situation, picture yourself as a seed that has been planted, not buried.” '
Waiting on the Lord

 

[Pavel Mosko]

No, I don't do 'friends'. Friends are just people who pretend to be nice, before they stab you in the back.

I'm not much for getting paid to do nothing. Nor do I wish to stay completely idle.

Honestly I can't think of anything I 'want' to do
Well I can, I want to go to Heaven where everything will be great and wonderful

Thanks for your post.

In all honesty I think your going to have to rectify this bad luck streak you've had with people and relationships. My hunch which I'm tempted to relay in Charismatic terms like "I have a witness", "The Spirit is telling me.." or some other phrase to imply that I think I got an idea what God is doing in your life... Anyway, I believe this is something that God would like to fix as far as inner healing etc. goes.


So my suggestion for you is to do some serious church hopping (or other nonprofit org shopping)! Basically visit one church in your area every week and look for 2 things. 1) Friendliness, hospitality etc. 2) They have some needs, or some ministries that you could fit in well at. One of the big things you got is "the jack of all trades" thing. That is is actually great, you could help churches/ministries/charities with lots of stuff.


Now your experience on the relationship end of things is much much worse than most of what I've been through. There may be a temptation to not do what I'm talking about, but I don't think part of you, your emotional unconscious mind is not going to let you off the hook. So I think you should make a small effort each week on that. Nothing major, but take a look around if there are some decent people in your area and try to give them a chance. Anyway, I have faith that with long term commitment and persistence you would eventually find some good trustworthy people from some church or other ministry or nonprofit group, and in time even could get a new job with that group and actually be quite happy. It might take a few years of doing a weekly visit / home work assignments, but I think it is very doable!


PS - years ago I was reading up on job hunting and career etc. one of the points made in that reading is people who have good job satisfaction and careers etc. often have had to invent their job (like starting a business or suggesting a new position be created at a work site) or in some way research to find their niche.

 

[Tone]

take a look around if there are some decent people in your area and try to give them a chance

I would even expand this too any who you may think are godless folks...you may learn some things about yourself and God from the most unlikeliest places.

* He may want you to learn to trust Him in all things...including the deep dark places you may have hesitated to go into.

Ephesians 4:10
"10He who descended is the very one who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things."

 

[Pavel Mosko]

I would even expand this too any who you may think are godless folks...you may learn some things about yourself and God from the most unlikeliest places.

* He may want you to learn to trust Him in all things...including the deep dark places you may have hesitated to go into.

Ephesians 4:10
"10He who descended is the very one who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things."

definitely! I almost added Christian or secular, but thought by suggesting he also consider nonprofits charities that might be implied.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Absolutely. I know that in Heaven we will do good things, jobs that we will enjoy, that will be fulfilling and worth doing.

I am ready to go as soon as I am allowed.

I'm not afraid of dying but, would prefer not to be there when it happens.
M-Bob

 

[ChicanaRose]

Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."

Your job doesn't define you. God put you on earth for something more meaningful than a job. If you are spreading the Gospel, you are storing up treasure in heaven rather than on earth. And Ecclesiastes is right: It's merely chance that lands successful people in their position (9:11). You are an intelligent, insightful person, but chance has not come around to you yet. Regarding people mistreating you at job, that is just not right. I hope you can file a complaint to the company's chain of command.

 

[ChicanaRose]

lol.... working. I've worked everywhere. I have actually forgotten more jobs, than most people have in their lifetime.
Assembly, imagining, SMT, soldering, warehouse work of course, sold stuff on ebay for an ebay store type place, fast food, delivery driver, semi-truck driver, so on. Fell asleep at the wheel of a loaded truck doing 65 on the highway. That was fun.

Yeah.... everything. Jack of all trades, master of nothing.

May God bless you for your diligence. May this be the year that you reap all of the faithful efforts you sowed.

 

[ChicanaRose]

Yes of course. I did some work at the food pantry, and worked at the homeless shelter. I consider it part of being a Christian. I do not necessarily get any benefit from it, like you talked about, but it is a godly thing to do.

Andrew: Your perseverance is a great Christian testimony. I knew someone who had all kinds of excuses for not working and not volunteering but scammed and used people to get what she wanted.

You tithe faithfully and give selflessly even when you are on limited means yourself. You maintain your integrity by not resorting to making money the unethical way. You keep working and take responsibility to pay your bills instead of becoming a couch potato. You have many reasons to hold your head up high for the kind of character that God has gifted you with.

The way that people are mistreating you at work may also be a form of spiritual battle. Some people don't like the light that is in you (whether they are conscious of this or not).

 

[Robin Mauro]

Yes, Job is one of my favorite books, along with Ecclesiastes. Job 3:1 for the win!

It's not greed that makes wages low. The job is only worth, what the job is worth. You can't pay a burger flipper $20/hour when you the customer are not willing to pay $20 for a low quality fast food burger.

The problem isn't the wage for me. The problem is..... there is nothing to look forward to. I'm actually earning more money now than ever before in my life (by about $2 an hour).

But does money make you happy? No.

What do I need money for.... a new car? What do I need a car for? To get to work. A place I don't want to go, to do work I don't want to do. Would my life be any better, if I had a car? No. Not really.

Years ago I worked at an autoparts store. The manager there wanted to put me in the management training program. He was convinced I would be running my own store in a few years.

But I HATED that job. I don't know if you ever worked someplace where every morning you would wake up and feel sick, like actually sick, just thinking about having to go into work. But I could have been making $60,000 a year plus profit sharing, by now. But every morning I would have this internal struggle, a fight inside my own mind "I could just call in sick.... but that's lying.... but I feel sick.... yeah but I only feel sick because I don't want to go to that job"

In some ways, I kind of wish I was like a normal person with a motivation for money. Because then I would be motivated perhaps to do things for money.

But I'm not.

Life does not improve with money. So why bother. Either way, rich or poor, you spend your life doing something you hate until you die, and then... you just die.

Well, sounds like you are hanging in there. I am glad to hear that. Yes, I have done many jobs I hated. Right now I am liking my job alright..very nice people and a decent wage.
I disagree though, with what you said about wages. One person should not make thousands of dollars an hour while another makes $12. You just can't live on $12. And the CEO's at those burger joints could show some respect for the workers by taking less and paying more; they would not be rich if not for the workers, and they would not have to raise prices either, if they did that. Also, many of the lowest paying jobs are the most important...caregiving, childcare, people who pick the food for our tables... It is greed, looking out for #1, and God hates it. That's why at judgment he will say to some "I was hungry and you fed me," and to others, "away from me you evil doers..." because they did not.
Love in Christ to you Andrew. I have been praying for you, Robin

 

[Robin Mauro]

Not homeless...houseless...he's home wherever he roams if He is in Messiah. We're all transient here on this earth aren't we?

I do not believe you should make light of homelessness. People without homes are, for the most part, miserable...cold, wet, can't get a shower, how to hold a job?
In Isaiah we are told to take the homeless into our homes. That is God's heart about it. Homelessness is a travesty. It should not be. We subsidize the oil companies who make way too much money off of public resources to begin with, we subsidize many evil things. I would much rather see my taxes go to taking care of the people.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

No, I don't do 'friends'. Friends are just people who pretend to be nice, before they stab you in the back.

I'm not much for getting paid to do nothing. Nor do I wish to stay completely idle.

Honestly I can't think of anything I 'want' to do
Well I can, I want to go to Heaven where everything will be great and wonderful

Thanks for your post.

Not everyone is going to stab you in the back, Andrew ... unless you're like my sister who thinks anyone who disagrees with her is "just cutting her down." Then, in that case, I guess everyone is stabbing each other in the back; and by that measure, I've been stabbed in the back five times today already.