For many of us, work is simply what we do to put food on the table and a roof over our heads. For most people, it is what you do with the rest of your time that brings fulfillment. If you work 40 hours a week, that leaves another 56 hours when you aren’t sleeping. Why not seek happiness in that time - family, church, friends, service, art, hobbies, fitness, travel. Why not seek happiness outside of work?Yeah, I think we all have those "why did I say that" moments.
But I really don't hate myself so much. I am, what I am.
It's more like... why bother keeping this going? For what? What good thing is going to happen, when nothing good has happened for the 41 years of my life?
I'm working hard.... so that I can keep working hard.... and just continue working hard.... so I can grow old and die after decades of working hard.
Why? For what?
If I hate anything, it's life in general.
Well of course I tithe to the church, and give some money to the poor out of every check. That goes without saying. That's just part of being a Christian.
I'm not sure what you mean by money driven western nations. Every nation is money driven. That's why you need to a skill or ability that earns you a good income.
If you don't have it... then you don't have it. That's why I tried to learn a trade skill. Just can't do it.
I've worked at the homeless shelter, and food pantry. Those are all good things, and I'm sure some people are helped. Still doesn't change the dread of waking up in the morning, knowing I have to go to this garbage place, and do this work for the next 8 hours.
For what? So that I can spend the rest of my life, just scraping by of course..... but for what? Why bother with this existence? So that I can work hard.... to what? Continue working hard?
What is being content? Happiness without hope? Sitting here imagining the next 40 years, doing this job over and over, until I die? That's contentment? Hard to relate to that. And maybe that's my big problem. Maybe I should just sit here in a Forest Gump like empty headed happiness. Get up, go to work, go home, sleep, get up, go to work, go home go to sleep.... and somehow plaster on a prefabricated smile, like I have a mask on all day.
Just hard to relate to that. More power and admiration to those who can do it.
I've been to counseling. Didn't help. After all, saying "I have value!" doesn't change the fact that I am incapable of doing anything of value.
Think about it... If I apply for a job doing.... whatever... Say, CAD Programming, and I can't do it. Does saying "God gives worth" give me the ability to do it? No. At least it never has before.
So how does that work?
I went to college 3 times. I failed out all three times.
Example, I learned how to work on cars. Yup. Got a job at a dealership. Then I broke every car I touched. I could take your automobile that had a small noise, and make into a car that doesn't make any noise... or move. True story bro!
How does saying "God gives worth to every single one of us", change the fact that your car doesn't run, and now I'm unemployed?
Which is by the way, pretty much what happened. They sent me back to work running their car wash. All the money I spent on Automotive training.... totally wasted.
So tell me what to do. What should I do?
Seeing as how a lot of folks live into their 90s at 41 you've got a lot of life ahead of you.
Yeah, and it is terrifying. These last 25 years have been so bad.... to imagine 50 more like them.... shoot me now.
Don't complain about what God gives you. Thank him for your job and do it the best it can be done in thanksgiving. The Israelites complained in the wilderness and spent 40 years making an 11 day journey.When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.
I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.
I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.
So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.
This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.
Really?
I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.
Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.
Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."
That happy ending has never happened for me. Never.
Working harder, working more, learning from mistakes, never giving up .... has resulted in nothing but 20 plus years of misery and failure.
When does this 'learning from your mistakes' ever have a good result? For everyone else I see clearly it does have a good result. Just not me it would seem.
We live in a very unforgiving and unloving world.When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.
I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.
I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.
So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.
This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.
Really?
I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.
Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.
Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."
cognitive distortions
Why did you fail out of college 3 times? You write articulate posts, so you've got skills in that regard.
Have you ever considered the Reserves? You're not too old for it, and it could give you some connections, some skills. You can probably keep your day job with it. I've had a great experience.
God gives everybody worth but we all have to put in effort, albeit some much more than others on account of not having as many natural talents & gifts. Attitude is a big part of things. To tell the truth I typically try to avoid your posts on account of that attitude, just unnecessary belligerence. I've got to wonder if folks IRL also avoid you on account of that. Now I'm not saying this to be unkind to you, and I don't have a beef with you. I just manage my time by not engaging all that often, unless you've quoted me. Just happened to see this thread, wanted to try to help but expected the response I got. Your attitude is something within your ability to control.
When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.
I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.
I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.
So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.
This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.
Really?
I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.
Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.
Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."
Columbus Ohio. The Job market here is booming. Just not for me. I mean, there are plenty of jobs for me, for 2/3rds the pay, and doing something like moving boxes around, and standing on your feet all day.
I applied to dozens of places. Not one has responded. I actually connected with Monster Jobs, and they removed my profile. Subtle clue. Temp agencies have replied, but always with lower paying jobs, that sound worse than where I am.
I suppose I should be happy to just have a job. But when you see nothing worth living for in the future, and no hope of improvement beyond where you are.... hard to be happy. Irony is, I'm sure some starving peasant in some other country, would love to have my job, and my pay.
But this is it? You just keep doing this, and then you grow old, and you die. Is there a fast forward button on this video?
Please, do not put yourself down! A rich person is no better than you. The greatest among us is the servant. Seek God. Seek to be holy. Seek to do things for others. Don't you know how all the apostles suffered? Give your suffering to God. Being near him is what ultimately matters.When you spend all weekend, just dreading going to work. You hate your job, but can't find another, because you are worthless.
I've put out my resume, but the only offers are worse jobs, for lower pay. Why would I do that? So instead I stay at this place that treats me like I am a dog, because.... I finally realized... I am a dog. I have no skills, failed out of college, no abilities, nothing.
I actually am a dog. 41 years old, and no one wants me. But it's my fault they don't want me. Every time I tried to get a degree, or anything, I failed. So it's not their fault, it's my fault. I simply have no value to offer. I can't program, can't do mechanical work, can't manage people, can't do anything.
So I put my resume out, and got offered a job standing on my feet 8 hours straight, picking up 50 lbs boxes, for $11/hours. That's what I'm offered after months of looking. 20 years of experience. 41 years old. A pay cut, and miserable working conditions.
This really is it. This is the end of my story. I stay here at this crap job, with a garbage company, dreading every day of my life... until I get to the end of my life.
Really?
I hate asking 'why' because I know it's a waste of time question that never gets answered.
Yet I still can't help but wonder.... why did G-d make such a worthless human being like me? For what? Stay poor and die? I can't help anyone, not even myself. So why am I here? Just to make rich CEOs wealthy I suppose.
Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."
I have no idea why. I worked my butt off, but at the end of the course, the grade I got back, was an F. So I don't what to tell you.
I also don't know why you would read that as belligerence. It's just the truth as I have lived it.
I've had people for many years tell me, I just need to be happy. I need to have a positive attitude and such. And I have honestly given that whole "power of positive thinking" belief system the best shot I can. In the end, each time resulted in disaster for me.
The last time went into something with a 'good attitude', the end result was that I was laid off after finding out I really couldn't do that job. I sat here at this desk, literally crying over a large stack of bills I could not pay, with zero income, and debt collectors calling me every 4 hours, and threatening to take me to court and garnish my wages (humorous now given I didn't have an income for them to garnish). I didn't even have money for the electric bill.
But where were all those people who said go and have a good attitude, and you can do it, believe in G-d, and he'll help you? They all deserted me. Every single person that cheered me on to go and succeed, all disappeared when the crash happened. Real quick to cheer when the day is bright and sunny, but when I am face down in the mud in the middle of a rain storm, not one was there to help me up. Not one.
So I don't know what you want from me. Apparently I am lacking whatever it is that you want. That's fine. If my posts are too belligerent, then you can ignore me. It won't hurt my feelings, not anymore. I don't have much in the way of feelings left to be hurt.
There's a nifty feature on this forum called ignore. Just click on my avatar, and a pop-up window will open, and on it is a button labeled "ignore". Click on that, and I'll disappear. I'll never bother you with my belligerence again.