When you realize you are at the end

LynnSmith

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Hard to say something as contradictory as "Yeah I'm great", when you all you can look at is 25 years of nothing but failure. If I had succeed at anything... any one thing in the last 25 years.... just one thing.... Ok. I can see that I can succeed even if rarely.

That is not the case. Right now, I have nothing to go on. My 2003 with 170,000 miles is in need of repair. I have numerous expensive fixes that need done around my little home. I have no money, and no future that I can see. What can I do? Nothing.

You have a positive spirit if you think someone in this life, is going to impact me positively. I can't even imagine a situation like that. But I suppose anything can happen.
Have faith. Don’t doubt what God can do. Don’t doubt that He can provide.
 
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Andrew77

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Andrew77, your advice to people on this forum is really insightful. You do a great job at giving pragmatic, actionable advice. Whenever I see that you've chimed in on something I always know your post will be something I'll agree with either in whole or in the most part.

How far did you make it through college and what were your major(s)?

It does seem ironic, does it not? None of my advice is my own. It's all advice I've heard or seen, or done myself.

So I went to school 3 separate times, and a couple of them I tried multiple times.

My first attempt was to become a Computer Programmer. I went 3 times on this degree over a 3 year period. Each time I failed out of the entry level programming course. Basically I kept trying to pass that one class, until I ran out of other classes to take. I got to the point that, every other course had that one course as a pre-req. After I failed out the third time, I assumed this was my notification that programming wasn't for me.

So then I went back to school for mechanical engineering. That too also failed, but this time, I didn't keep going back again and again. I was never really strong in math, and obviously engineering requires tons of math.

So then I went back and started a degree in automotive technology. There, I got straight As through nearly every course. However, in automotive, it's all about doing the actual work, not getting mental knowledge. I simply didn't have the skill needed to actually fix a car, even if I could tell you how to fix a car.

Saying it, and doing it, very different. So I got a job working at a dealership, a Cadillac dealership, and broke about a dozen cars. I could have finished the degree if I had lied. The last requirement for your degree is 300 hours working as a line tech. Obviously I wasn't going to get that, when I broke cars instead of fixed them. The manager said he would say I put in my 300 hours, but I would know it was a lie.

So no degree in that either.

After that, I went into the work force. Doing various jobs. Tried my hand at sales. Tried being a semi-driver. Worked fast food, and an auto parts store. Delivery driver. So on. But in the end, you have to be good at SOMETHING... to get paid for your work. And I'm mediocre at best. Barely useful at worst. I got some training as a computer tech, but it was minimal, and not very useful.

And here I am. :)
 
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Andrew77

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What is your 20 years of experience in?

lol.... working. I've worked everywhere. I have actually forgotten more jobs, than most people have in their lifetime.
Assembly, imagining, SMT, soldering, warehouse work of course, sold stuff on ebay for an ebay store type place, fast food, delivery driver, semi-truck driver, so on. Fell asleep at the wheel of a loaded truck doing 65 on the highway. That was fun.

Yeah.... everything. Jack of all trades, master of nothing. :)
 
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Endeavourer

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The positions you've tried have all been hard core mechanical or specific performance types of jobs. What about an area that needs softer skills?

Such as insurance adjusting for cars (i.e. need to know mechanics but not do them). I know someone who is signed up with various insurance companies and the companies post a vehicle and town that needs to be evaluated for an insurance claim. This guy clicks on all the assignments he wants early in the morning and then drives all over the place making the reports on the various vehicles. He made over $100k last year. This would seem to be a great fit between your automotive A+ knowledge base and your pragmatic street smarts.
 
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Sparagmos

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Columbus Ohio. The Job market here is booming. Just not for me. I mean, there are plenty of jobs for me, for 2/3rds the pay, and doing something like moving boxes around, and standing on your feet all day.

I applied to dozens of places. Not one has responded. I actually connected with Monster Jobs, and they removed my profile. Subtle clue. Temp agencies have replied, but always with lower paying jobs, that sound worse than where I am.

I suppose I should be happy to just have a job. But when you see nothing worth living for in the future, and no hope of improvement beyond where you are.... hard to be happy. Irony is, I'm sure some starving peasant in some other country, would love to have my job, and my pay.

But this is it? You just keep doing this, and then you grow old, and you die. Is there a fast forward button on this video?
I looked up the minimum wage in Ohio (crappy!) then looked to see if my union has a presence in Columbia - not that I can see. It looks like you are in the same situation so many Americans are in. I’m sure you deserve more $$ than you make. But reading this whole thread, it seems that personal happiness and self worth is the problem. A lot of ppl work crappy low paying jobs, but the key to happiness is in our relationships. You seem to not like other people, and that kind of negativity will definitely come across in interviews and with coworkers.

A good first step towards liking /trusting people is to volunteer your time, to give completely of yourself to others while not expecting something in return. Serving and helping other people is a great way to learn to be a good friend. It’s an environment where complaining about your own problems isn’t appropriate, so you learn to really listen and focus on the other person. It’s an environment that will remind you to feel thankful for what you have.
 
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nanookadenord

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Such as insurance adjusting for cars (i.e. need to know mechanics but not do them). I know someone who is signed up with various insurance companies and the companies post a vehicle and town that needs to be evaluated for an insurance claim. This guy clicks on all the assignments he wants early in the morning and then drives all over the place making the reports on the various vehicles. He made over $100k last year. This would seem to be a great fit between your automotive A+ knowledge base and your pragmatic street smarts.

Isn't this something you need some sort of training for?

I did something similar, but I was the one going out and taking pictures of vehicles that were in accidents. I think the most I made one year was $2500.
 
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Chris V++

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Such as insurance adjusting for cars
That's what I do, and it's not nearly as easy as you might think. You're stuck in the middle between the repair facility, who wants to get everything out of you they possibly can, your employer, who wants you to pay as little as possible just stopping short cheating your customer, and the customer, who presumes you are out to screw them over. It's a lucrative career, but not rewarding or fulfilling (except for those rare occasions where you can do some real good.)

Maybe Andrew needs to start his own business or buy a franchise. People do really well with something as simple as a popcorn stand in the right location.
 
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Endeavourer

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Adding to Sparagmos' comment, I had to exit a more traditional participation in church (a long story). So I started going to a church plant in the inner city. At first I hoovered on the fringes without getting too involved but eventually I was pulled in to the point that my Sunday mornings are now spent ministering to other people rather than expecting to be ministered to.

There is unlimited need for ways to minister to people in this setting, ranging from canvassing the neighborhood to bringing food to church so people can have a bite before the service as some of the rag tag group will not having enough food in the house to eat and will be hungry.

All of this is (now, was!) completely out of my comfort zone. I was raised in a denomination that is very reserved in outward expressions and in conversations about our faith. For example, in my denomination it would be rude to ask someone outright if they were a believer. At 45 years old I had almost zero practice at conversations of faith, other than with my children, but I didn't know how to discuss things with them as effusively as I would have wished to. I was a person of strong faith, but my conversations and extensive learning/studying was all internalized with very limited external interaction. That's just how my denomination was.

Now I'm walking up to drug houses to give them the gospel and invite them to church! I totally don't even recognize myself. There might be something like this in your area and you may enjoy changing roles from receiving ministry to giving ministry, since you too, have seen the limitations of traditional churchianity.

You've been a blessing to a lot of people here at CF, so that could be a natural fit for you as well.
 
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Chris V++

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Isn't this something you need some sort of training for?

I did something similar, but I was the one going out and taking pictures of vehicles that were in accidents. I think the most I made one year was $2500.
Yes you need training. You can get an associates degree in body work at a community college, or get hired by a large carrier who will train you. (The insurance carriers won't hire you without a college degree unless you have the body shop experience or a tech associates degree.) Anyway, we will be a thing of the past before long due to technical innovations and outsourcing.
 
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Endeavourer

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So then I went back and started a degree in automotive technology. There, I got straight As through nearly every course. However, in automotive, it's all about doing the actual work, not getting mental knowledge. I simply didn't have the skill needed to actually fix a car, even if I could tell you how to fix a car.

Saying it, and doing it, very different.

Yes you need training. You can get an associates degree in body work at a community college, or get hired by a large carrier who will train you. (The insurance carriers won't hire you without a college degree unless you have the body shop experience or a tech associates degree.) Anyway, we will be a thing of the past before long due to technical innovations and outsourcing.

He has an automotive degree short of the 300 hour internship.
 
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Daniel C

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Well Andrew I can relate to this from my own life so this is not a unique case.

Only ever worked low paying jobs, dropped out of college, not really achieved anything. Don't have any reliable friends.....it just goes on.

I don't think you are in need of therapy like some have suggested. Perhaps to well off and comfortable people cases like these may seem absurd but it's just the struggles and consequences of being working class in money driven western nations.

Although I don't have much money at the moment I'm still trying to think about alms and charitable work. Maybe that could help improve your mind set and open up new doors. Rather than being self serving and reflecting on all the screw ups we made and chances we missed, shift the focus on self sacrifice and charity. This is what God commands so we know it's the righteous path to take.

You also mentioned about being grateful for your job. Yes, just being content with what is keeps us balanced and greed or excess at arms length.

All our commentary here is well meaning but you know the one who can really bring you peace of mind.

God bless
 
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nanookadenord

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Yes you need training. You can get an associates degree in body work at a community college, or get hired by a large carrier who will train you. (The insurance carriers won't hire you without a college degree unless you have the body shop experience or a tech associates degree.) Anyway, we will be a thing of the past before long due to technical innovations and outsourcing.

Yeah, the associates degree is not in my future, so that would be out for me as a prospect.
 
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Chris V++

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Andrew A lot of us indulge in self loathing. I've heard pastors say things like 'it's the enemy accusing and abusing us, trying to keep us small so we won't be good witnesses. ' I could be driving down the road enjoying the scenery and some memory of some stupid thing I said or did when I was 9 years old surfaces up and sucker punches me. It's exhausting.
 
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thecolorsblend

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You have my sympathy. My understanding is that your state is a pretty big challenge right now when it comes to finding decent employment.

Keep at it. You never know when the worm might turn.

On the other hand, it might be time to play hardball. A friend of mine was in a very similar position. He couldn't even get an interview in spite of his solid resumé.

So he began lying on job apps.

His claim was that he's part Hispanic. He probably filled out something like 30 job applications after that. And he got something like 26 callbacks and scheduled five interviews that I know about. He eventually settled into a fairly comfortable position with fairly comfortable pay.

When I asked him about it, he said that he won't get challenged about his lie. But if he does, he'll simply demand that his accuser prove that his (deceased) grandmother wasn't Hispanic. So far though, it's never been an issue even though he lives up to the blonde hair/blue eye stereotype.

I'm not advocating anything here. Just telling a story.
 
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Chris V++

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When I asked him about it, he said that he won't get challenged about his lie. But if he does, he'll simply demand that his accuser prove that his (deceased) grandmother wasn't Hispanic.
He can probably just say he 'identifies' as Hispanic. If you go back far enough we all have two common ancestors :)
 
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GOD Shines Forth!

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Reminds me of a joke I once saw "Perhaps the purpose of your life is to serve of a warning to others."

Lol, reminds me of a cartoon where two threadbare galley serfs were rowing and one turned to the other and said, "What I really want to do is direct."

But if you can do physical work, get hired on at UPS or FedEx. I started at FedEx when I was 37 and have worked there for 20 years. Lots of people from the military end up there, as well as people who had "good jobs" and got booted or left because they hated them. They love being couriers.

Just a thought.
 
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