Jesus Christ came me a particular dream where I said something, my sister did not agree with what I said and then my significant other agreed with my sister over me and I started getting very upset. Then he transformed into one of my classmates and said "This is why I don't talk to you" and I began quarreling with this classmate explaining how bad people have treated me when I did absolutely nothing to deserve it.This is because my significant other as well as many people often sides with anyone that is against me in any way. So I am always facing opposition from everyone and it is affecting me.
My Attitude
From I was a child I have been easily controlled by others. An example of this is in prep school, where a classmate who did not like me threw food on the ground and told me to pick it up, which I did automatically.
In high school some students enjoyed laughing at me and my hairstyles frequently. Because of this I ended up having Social Anxiety Disorder.
I remember in one particular incident in high school, the music teacher put me in a group with other persons, and one of the girls in the group shouted loudly that she did not want me in her group. Embarrassed I immediately started crying but she did care, I was nothing to her.
In college I remember walking one day, and there were a group of girls, and one of them shouted and pointed at me, talking loudly about my clothes, and started laughing at the clothes I was wearing, along with her friends.
From I was a child, when people would trouble me I would ignore them, not quarreling with them etc I would internalize everything. People would walk all over me etc and I wouldn't say anything. But something changed a few years ago. This is where I could no longer ignore after all these years, the way people were treating because it was becoming much worst and I started getting angry at the way I have been treated, and ever since then have anger issues.
Recently Jesus Christ gave me a dream showing me a group of girls were walking towards me and immediately I saw the word "sodomized" appear and I ended up having to move far away from these girls because I did not want to be sodomized by them. Jesus Christ has shown me in earlier dreams where girls have backed me up in a bathroom abusing me. So I try to avoid that from happening. This is how bad things are.
Jesus Christ has also shown me girls threatening me, preventing me from walking where I want to, in a class when there are empty chairs, my former classmates suddenly grab these chairs preventing me from sitting down. When I am in a classroom a classmate tries to throw a big plastic bottle to hit me etc This is what my life is like. Always been attacked, always being bullied, always been threatened etc
People who have not experienced what I have, will never understand what I am going through, and how these types of things can crush someone's spirit.
So when a loved one treats me like how other people do, who do I have to talk to, who can I trust? The answer is no one. Not even my sister as she too like others have shouted at me many times, and in one instance telling me that I should not sit near her, with a former classmate commenting that not even my sister want to sit beside me, that nobody wants to sit beside me.
When my loved ones treat me like others who hate me, it has become a situation where people who hate me, feel justified in ill treating me even more, that if my loved ones can't stand me, then I must be bad or something, and as such deserves to be ill treated. So I have no one at all who is my advocate. This is why anyone can treat me any way and my loved ones including my significant other do not have a problem with how I am treated, because honestly they feel the same way about me that other people who hate me too. That I am just a problem and it is okay for people to ill treat me because I am deserving of it and actually causing problems.
The type of personality I have is this, I am quiet for the most part. I don't trouble people etc I keep to myself, so I have not done anything to deserve to be ill treated the way I have been. People hate me because I am different.
My Attitude
From I was a child I have been easily controlled by others. An example of this is in prep school, where a classmate who did not like me threw food on the ground and told me to pick it up, which I did automatically.
In high school some students enjoyed laughing at me and my hairstyles frequently. Because of this I ended up having Social Anxiety Disorder.
I remember in one particular incident in high school, the music teacher put me in a group with other persons, and one of the girls in the group shouted loudly that she did not want me in her group. Embarrassed I immediately started crying but she did care, I was nothing to her.
In college I remember walking one day, and there were a group of girls, and one of them shouted and pointed at me, talking loudly about my clothes, and started laughing at the clothes I was wearing, along with her friends.
From I was a child, when people would trouble me I would ignore them, not quarreling with them etc I would internalize everything. People would walk all over me etc and I wouldn't say anything. But something changed a few years ago. This is where I could no longer ignore after all these years, the way people were treating because it was becoming much worst and I started getting angry at the way I have been treated, and ever since then have anger issues.
Recently Jesus Christ gave me a dream showing me a group of girls were walking towards me and immediately I saw the word "sodomized" appear and I ended up having to move far away from these girls because I did not want to be sodomized by them. Jesus Christ has shown me in earlier dreams where girls have backed me up in a bathroom abusing me. So I try to avoid that from happening. This is how bad things are.
Jesus Christ has also shown me girls threatening me, preventing me from walking where I want to, in a class when there are empty chairs, my former classmates suddenly grab these chairs preventing me from sitting down. When I am in a classroom a classmate tries to throw a big plastic bottle to hit me etc This is what my life is like. Always been attacked, always being bullied, always been threatened etc
People who have not experienced what I have, will never understand what I am going through, and how these types of things can crush someone's spirit.
So when a loved one treats me like how other people do, who do I have to talk to, who can I trust? The answer is no one. Not even my sister as she too like others have shouted at me many times, and in one instance telling me that I should not sit near her, with a former classmate commenting that not even my sister want to sit beside me, that nobody wants to sit beside me.
When my loved ones treat me like others who hate me, it has become a situation where people who hate me, feel justified in ill treating me even more, that if my loved ones can't stand me, then I must be bad or something, and as such deserves to be ill treated. So I have no one at all who is my advocate. This is why anyone can treat me any way and my loved ones including my significant other do not have a problem with how I am treated, because honestly they feel the same way about me that other people who hate me too. That I am just a problem and it is okay for people to ill treat me because I am deserving of it and actually causing problems.
The type of personality I have is this, I am quiet for the most part. I don't trouble people etc I keep to myself, so I have not done anything to deserve to be ill treated the way I have been. People hate me because I am different.