For a long time, I thought my purpose in life was finding my career and making a name for myself in order to make everyone I knew proud of me.
Well, I think it's safe to say that at this point I don't really have a specific career. A degree, yes. A career, no. And that was a huge burden on me. I felt like I let down everyone, especially my parents who paid for my college years. And I had all these people at church excited about my future and expecting me to move to a foreign country eventually. But I'm still here.
I struggled with that a lot. Was I being a bad steward of what God had given me? Was I being trapped by fear? Was I disobedient to the Holy Spirit's leading?
At the end of the day, I'm not 100% confident, more like 98%.... But I think I can safely say no to all of the above.
During an internship in college I spent time in the South Pacific on a remote island in a little village, and that caused me to completely rethink what it means to have purpose in life. For someone who will most likely live his or her whole life on one island where there is no college, few business opportunities and half the people are relatives, where would such a person find purpose?
There were many people on that island who felt purpose-less and wandered around wasting time for a large part of the day. Getting into trouble, accusing others of wrongdoings, sneaking off to the "bush" to engage in rebellious behavior... None of them seemed very happy and you could tell they felt trapped.
But there were others who clearly had purpose. Those who seemed most at peace about living there were, not surprisingly, the Christians. Because for them, life wasn't all about having the most stuff or being the most talented, or having everything on the bucket list completed, or being able to get on a boat and sail away. They had the mindset that, despite the island being confining, limiting and sometimes lonely, that wasn't their ultimate home anyway. One couple would walk around the island at night praying for their neighbors and asking God for revival. Another man wrote new hymns in the native language for the local church. When foreigners (like myself) visited, they would gladly host us and even let us stay the night in a guest room. We had many discussions about the Bible and theology at mealtime, and at one house one man basically preached an entire Gospel-focused sermon to me!
So, that stuck with me. And when I saw the door to my own post-college plans closing, which would have been my long-awaited escape from my economically-depressed rust belt home town, it was hard not to feel hopeless. Instead of being a foreign worker, I had a job milking cows at a local farm...
Yet, I knew it would be okay and that God had a reason for it. I had been placed on an "island", and I knew God had a purpose for me here, just like those Christian islanders had found theirs.
I began praying for one co-worker in particular, very, very persistently. We became friends. I had to move on to another job, but I now have a home nearby and we still see each other. I see God at work in his life, and recently found the boldness to actually share my faith verbally.
God is making me a light in this community. None of my neighbors go to church, but I go every Sunday and I know they wonder why I bother. I'm a 20-something kid. What 20-somethings willingly go to church?
I don't live with a girlfriend, I barely use my television, I get newsletters from missionary organizations in the mail, etc. In my spare time, I write worshipful music and I will soon have new neighbors below my apartment who will probably hear my singing...
So what would I say is my purpose? My purpose in life right now is to glorify God with what I do have and where He has placed me (or kept me, rather). comparing yourself to others is a lesson in futility. There will always be people more talented, richer, more beautiful, more successful than you. None of that equals purpose! This life is temporary, so the only true purpose and the only true path to joy is serving God and being wholly submitted to Him. When you do that, I can guarantee not only will your life feel purposeful again, but it will be a whole lot less confining and boring, too!
For the Christians on that remote island, it was because they served God and supported the idea of a Bible in the island's language that I ended up there.
I was their latest adventure from God.