- Apr 12, 2019
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Now I remember must have blocked it out. My cursing problem worsen in 2004 during my cousins wedding I broke a table was suicidal cousins friends made it worse by cursing while calming me down which I responded by hitting my head on the tree and wanted to run in traffic. Also made my dying Grandfather cry.
Same year in the hospital commited again heard cursing made me meltdown when I got home. After that my Grandmother said I had to wear headphones outside. That's why I stopped attending Church. Did go to groups until 2006 but headphones ourside you know then left after.
Was so bitter towards God that my hearing the f-word got worse that is when I abondon him and Christ because other Christians kept the faith with that going around.
Really painful must have blocked it out but I guess losing the friends or future friends is my fault. I can't do any volunteer or outside or even attend church with f-words being said by everyone.
Only now the Prozac making it bearable but only one meltdown but I never go out with headphones. I am afraid what might happen if I do.
Thanks all anyway but really unless I go deaf "did actually ask God why I wanted to be deaf" I will have to make through life as it is an hermit lonely Church less Christian.
Same year in the hospital commited again heard cursing made me meltdown when I got home. After that my Grandmother said I had to wear headphones outside. That's why I stopped attending Church. Did go to groups until 2006 but headphones ourside you know then left after.
Was so bitter towards God that my hearing the f-word got worse that is when I abondon him and Christ because other Christians kept the faith with that going around.
Really painful must have blocked it out but I guess losing the friends or future friends is my fault. I can't do any volunteer or outside or even attend church with f-words being said by everyone.
Only now the Prozac making it bearable but only one meltdown but I never go out with headphones. I am afraid what might happen if I do.
Thanks all anyway but really unless I go deaf "did actually ask God why I wanted to be deaf" I will have to make through life as it is an hermit lonely Church less Christian.
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