- Mar 21, 2018
- 229
- 156
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- United States
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- Christian
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- Married
Hi there,
Thanks for sharing your situation. I can tell that you have a lot going on in your mind, the tension between what you want and what you are experiencing.
I'd enjoy hearing from you what you mean by taking your "walk with God more serious". What was it that drew you to the good news in the first place? How did God draw you to himself? How would you articulate what the good news is and what you think is the core of the Christian experience? You might have some misconceptions that are inhibiting you from experiencing the contentment Paul talks about...from a prison cell! (Philippians 4) Can you describe how you "enjoyed life" before? Part of the transformation that the Holy Spirit works is to change our desires and perceptions.
A few other things to know about suffering, pain, and sorrow in the Christian life:
Alright! A fellow musician. Everything is worth singing about. The only difference between a Christian songwriter and a songwriter who doesn't yet know the love of God in Christ is a transformed view of reality. Paul tells Timothy that everything God made is good and nothing is to be rejected when it is received as a good gift from a loving Father (1 Tim. 4:4). How does knowing the Father's love because Jesus gave himself gor you on the cross change your views on life, love, relationships, etc.?
I write all kinds of songs:
Don't stress out about writing Christian songs, write songs out of your life in Christ as a human being.
"First love" (e.g. in Revelation 2:4) is not about a "feeling " of love, like you might have in a romantic relationship. The word is "agapen", self-given-other-benefitting-action. Jesus was cautioning the Ephesian church that they were no longer acting out of deep care for one another. They had become self-centered and likely there were factions and in-fighting. "Treat each other as I have treated you", is the point, not a return to a loving mood.
He's got you, don't worry. He who did not spare his Son will not be stingy toward you.
Thanks for sharing your situation. I can tell that you have a lot going on in your mind, the tension between what you want and what you are experiencing.
That was in 2017 when I first got saved, everything went well. But then in 2018 I started getting depressed and unhappy when I started to take my walk with God more serious. I feel like I'm not enjoying life as much as I once did.
I'd enjoy hearing from you what you mean by taking your "walk with God more serious". What was it that drew you to the good news in the first place? How did God draw you to himself? How would you articulate what the good news is and what you think is the core of the Christian experience? You might have some misconceptions that are inhibiting you from experiencing the contentment Paul talks about...from a prison cell! (Philippians 4) Can you describe how you "enjoyed life" before? Part of the transformation that the Holy Spirit works is to change our desires and perceptions.
A few other things to know about suffering, pain, and sorrow in the Christian life:
- Jesus promised suffering and persecution for all of his followers, but he has overcome for us (John 16:33)
- We live in a sin and death cursed world. As such we are in tension. (1 John 2:17)
- We have an inner battle between our new self and our old self (Eph. 4:20-24)
- Righteous people have always suffered (see David in the Psalms)
- "Feelings" are not the focus of the New Testament writers, at least not as the top-most issue. Instead, the consistent focus is on personal trust in who Yahweh has revealed himself to be through the Son (Romans 5:8). Trust is not a feeling, it is an act of your will based on your perception of someone's trustworthiness. Jesus has done for us what no one else has, can or will.
- Our minds are transformed when we start thinking God's way (Romans 12:2) which results in our will/desires changing to want the things God wants (self-giving, other-focused living=agape love). When we get what we want, we are happy. If we want what God wants and act to achieve that will, we will be content, like Paul in Phil. 4., regardless of our circumstances.
- God delights in hearing our pain, anxieties and fear. He is a GOOD Father. (1 Peter 5:7, Phil. 4:6)
- He always responds when we draw near to Him. (Hebrews 11:6)
- Jesus is our model for suffering well and remaining connected to the Father.
For example, I used to enjoy making music but it was secular music and it was a way to release my creative energy. But then I realized after I was saved I should use my musical talents for the Lord, and what makes me sad is I'm not able to and I have a hard time making gospel music. It depresses me I can't make secular music anymore as that's what I'm good at (about life, love, relationships, and other secular topics).
Alright! A fellow musician. Everything is worth singing about. The only difference between a Christian songwriter and a songwriter who doesn't yet know the love of God in Christ is a transformed view of reality. Paul tells Timothy that everything God made is good and nothing is to be rejected when it is received as a good gift from a loving Father (1 Tim. 4:4). How does knowing the Father's love because Jesus gave himself gor you on the cross change your views on life, love, relationships, etc.?
I write all kinds of songs:
- Silly songs
- Songs about my wife
- Story songs
- Songs for my kids
- Songs about writer's block
- Songs about taking a walk with a friend
- Scripture memory songs
- Songs about a stage magician down on his luck
- Songs about a boxer
- Songs about how hard life is
- Songs about migraines
- Even the odd worship song
Don't stress out about writing Christian songs, write songs out of your life in Christ as a human being.
Sounds like you have a lot you are dealing with. The gospel is transformative, but God is patient and he is the one who completes the work he has begun in your life. (Phil. 1:6) Trusting him is not a one time thing, but a daily commitment, similar to a marriage or a job. Everyday you choose to engage.I should also note another struggle I face is anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and I am on the autism spectrum. I deal with a lot, but I always thought having God in my life would make it easier to deal with but it just feels even more hard now for these things...
It just feels like ever since I became a Christian life got tougher, my struggles got more difficult to deal with, and I've become a lot less happy. Is this normal or is something wrong and if so what do I do, where do I go from here to get that happiness I had when I first got saved, the feeling of "the first love" back?
"First love" (e.g. in Revelation 2:4) is not about a "feeling " of love, like you might have in a romantic relationship. The word is "agapen", self-given-other-benefitting-action. Jesus was cautioning the Ephesian church that they were no longer acting out of deep care for one another. They had become self-centered and likely there were factions and in-fighting. "Treat each other as I have treated you", is the point, not a return to a loving mood.
He's got you, don't worry. He who did not spare his Son will not be stingy toward you.
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