Is it Normal to be Depressed and Unhappy in the Christian Walk?

[DM25]

Hi, I just want to know if there is something wrong with me spiritually and what I should do, or if this is a normal thing. I've been a Christian for two years now, but I have noticed the last year or so, I've forgotten what the feeling of happiness feels like and I've just been very depressed. When I first found Jesus, I was very happy and I've never been happier in my life... That was in 2017 when I first got saved, everything went well. But then in 2018 I started getting depressed and unhappy when I started to take my walk with God more serious. I feel like I'm not enjoying life as much as I once did. For example, I used to enjoy making music but it was secular music and it was a way to release my creative energy. But then I realized after I was saved I should use my musical talents for the Lord, and what makes me sad is I'm not able to and I have a hard time making gospel music. It depresses me I can't make secular music anymore as that's what I'm good at (about life, love, relationships, and other secular topics). I would love to write gospel songs that glorify Jesus but I am bad at it and have not ideas so now I can't even make music which I really love.

Next, I can't really do fun things anymore that I used to like. God has convicted me to stay away from certain things and people so no more going to the club and all that. I can't be interested in things that aren't of God like I liked watching different YouTube videos, movies, TV Shows, and I can't do that anymore either. Life just feels... boring and not as fulfilling. You can yell at me all you want for saying this but I'm speaking straight from the heart in how I feel and I'm honest with you. God should be enough, he is the most high, but why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like something is missing and this constant emptiness and consistent feeling of depression and unhappiness?

Is this normal and healthy? Like the bible says to forsake your flesh and pick up your cross, so maybe you won't be as happy as you once was when you were of the world? Maybe this is the price we have to pay and a normal thing in order to get eternal life? Don't get me wrong, I would never want my old life back because God was absent and that's the worst. I just wish I had the old happiness back. I know scripture says we should have joy in God alone, and not focus on our feelings. But is this normal and common what I'm feeling or is something wrong? I should also note another struggle I face is anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and I am on the autism spectrum. I deal with a lot, but I always thought having God in my life would make it easier to deal with but it just feels even more hard now for these things... It just feels like ever since I became a Christian life got tougher, my struggles got more difficult to deal with, and I've become a lot less happy. Is this normal or is something wrong and if so what do I do, where do I go from here to get that happiness I had when I first got saved, the feeling of "the first love" back? I was praying hard and I was obeying God as best I could but I still have that burden, I don't know if it's a healthy burden of picking up and carrying the cross or not.

 

[Rescued One]

You can't do things to get eternal life. You do them if Jesus changed your heart.

When we think about how MUCH He loved us and gave His life for us, we love Him for that!

John 10
17 Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. 18 No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.

John 15:10
If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.

Yes, some Christians struggle with depression and we rely on God to get us out of that place. If we're severely depressed we see our doctors.

I think you like to be around people. I hope you've found a Bible preaching church with a group of people your age who plan interesting activities each week (weekend?). I know it's an adjustment to change lifestyles, but it's even harder if you isolate yourself when you really want to be with friends.

 

[well hey]

I have talked to so many xtians about my sorrows and depression and they all would give me a wierd look or seemed surprised. They err. Im like "have you ever read the bible?????" there is so so much suffering and sadness in the christian walk. David was always sorrowful and depressed and Jesus even suffered sadness too. Friend this means you are close to God, it sucks being sad a lot but this life is full of troubles and God does gift us with joy and blessings in certian seasons. This is just a season for you. As you continue to seek and worship God he will bless you with happynies joy and fullfillment. It is normal, so dont feel bad about your sadness or ANYTHING. Life is a mix of good and bad

 

[Rescued One]

Psalm 51
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

 

[DM25]

I have talked to so many xtians about my sorrows and depression and they all would give me a wierd look or seemed surprised. They err. Im like "have you ever read the bible?????" there is so so much suffering and sadness in the christian walk. David was always sorrowful and depressed and Jesus even suffered sadness too. Friend this means you are close to God, it sucks being sad a lot but this life is full of troubles and God does gift us with joy and blessings in certian seasons. This is just a season for you. As you continue to seek and worship God he will bless you with happynies joy and fullfillment. It is normal, so dont feel bad about your sadness or ANYTHING. Life is a mix of good and bad

Thanks. I'm happy someone else understands. I hope this is simply a prolonged season and God will give me another season of blessing soon like he did when I first got saved. If not, I have eternity to look forward to.

 

[DM25]

Psalm 51
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

Thank you, I will meditate on these verses.

 

[timothyu]

Dude,it sounds like you are too deep into religion which is meant to control and not close enough to Jesus who came to free us from oppression. As for music by all means, write about life, love, relationships, because that is what Jesus taught about. Jesus taught us to love neighbour as self. If the Beatles could put that into music, so can you without falling into the self righteousness trap. Live your life as Jesus taught and it will come together. (no pun intended)

 

[DM25]

Dude,it sounds like you are too deep into religion which is meant to control and not close enough to Jesus who came to free us from oppression. As for music by all means, write about life, love, relationships, because that is what Jesus taught about. Jesus taught us to love neighbour as self. If the Beatles could put that into music, so can you without falling into the self righteousness trap. Live your life as Jesus taught and it will come together. (no pun intended)

I know, it's just that I want to forsake my flesh for him and do things that are righteous and reflect my new life in him. Both for myself to get closer to him, and for others so they can see the light and changes in me, you know? I agree with you it's not good to be into religion and legalism and all that, but at the same time I don't know how to find the right balance. I feel like God has convicted me over some stuff, and for sure I can't go back now... Even if I wanted to he wouldn't let me. I guess I need to learn how to live a little more by the holy spirit and find joy in that, rather than live more by the flesh and religion, it's just difficult sometimes.

 

[timothyu]

Sounds to me like you've been sold freedom by way of oppression. Jesus came to free the oppressed, not to oppress. Simply put, there is a duality in Christianity just as there is a dual nature in man. Think of the oppression as the dark side of the force Luke, while Jesus represents the freedom fighters within man's religion. The dark side wants to control your thinking in order to keep you in the fold. Jesus sets you free in a world we are to be in but not of.

 

[Rescued One]

Unfortunately not. I suspect that can be part of the issue, my lack of fellowship with other Christians. I feel lonely, I am the only Christian in my family. I go to a church every Sunday but I don't have a small group right now. I used to attend a small group, but I had to leave because I ended up getting hurt by the group and it ended up being more of a cult and that's kinda why I lost faith in the small group thing... I wouldn't mind otherwise even though I'm fairly busy with school.

Being in a judgmental group never helps.

But the social anxiety side of things really puts a hamper too. I have trouble forming deep connections over getting hurt in the past and my social anxiety so it takes a long time to open up to people and people end up getting impatient and I seem to just distance myself even more from there. I was honest with my last pastor about all of this and he didn't help me at all, he ended up gossiping behind my back and calling me a fake and that really hurt me and distanced myself from further fellowship with people and the church after getting hurt yet again, and I thought that place was great for me at first but of course something had to go wrong. That's when I left that Baptist church and now I go to a larger evangelical church which is pretty good but I haven't made any connections there.

WHOA! Can I ever relate!

I don't know what God's plan is or why I am so unlucky in social situations all the time. Two months ago I decided to suck it up and attend another social event and I embarrassed myself, I barely spoke I was so anxious so that was a disaster.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I've done the same thing!

It's really difficult but right now I seem to be in a season of solitude with God but I know I need to find fellowship quick I've been praying just been quite unlucky in social settings. I used to go to counselling, and the regular counselling is free in my school but I would prefer more Christian counselling but I can't afford that given my major student loan debt and having no job. I just feel really stuck...

I understand. I was in counseling because of the way my father criticized me and everyone else. He never changed, but he had had a rough life.

No one understands me on either side like I'm so alone. By my experience, everyone on the Christian side expects their brothers and sisters to have it all together and be normal and if they are not, then they are not really saved or "lack faith".

That certainly sounds like the WRONG church! They lack empathy and encouragement. They aren't qualified to tell you who lacks faith.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, “. . .man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Those words were written for misfits and outcasts. God uses them all. Moses ran from justice, but God used him. Jonah ran from God, but God used him. Rahab ran a brothel. Sarah ran out of hope, Lot ran with the wrong crowd, but God used them all. And David? Human eyes saw a gangly teenager, smelling like sheep. Yet the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him, for this is the one!” (1 Samuel 16:12).
God Looks at the Heart - Max Lucado

And everyone on the non-Christian side is into worldly stuff and mocks you for being a Christian. So it's like I can't connect with anyone anymore... I'm not blaming others because I know it's me distancing myself over my past hurt, but it's just tough sometimes.

I was the only Christian of my mother's three husbands and six children. Only one brother (an agnostic/atheist) stays in touch. I understand so completely even though I'm old. Sometimes life is so hard. I continue to believe that life with God in heaven will be awesome.

I think you'll find people here who understand what you're going through. Put the judgmental ones on ignore.

 

[DM25]

Being in a judgmental group never helps.



WHOA! Can I ever relate!



I'm embarrassed to admit that I've done the same thing!



I understand. I was in counseling because of the way my father criticized me and everyone else. He never changed, but he had had a rough life.



That certainly sounds like the WRONG church! They lack empathy and encouragement. They aren't qualified to tell you who lacks faith.

1 Samuel 16:7 says, “. . .man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Those words were written for misfits and outcasts. God uses them all. Moses ran from justice, but God used him. Jonah ran from God, but God used him. Rahab ran a brothel. Sarah ran out of hope, Lot ran with the wrong crowd, but God used them all. And David? Human eyes saw a gangly teenager, smelling like sheep. Yet the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him, for this is the one!” (1 Samuel 16:12).
God Looks at the Heart - Max Lucado




I was the only Christian of my mother's three husbands and six children. Only one brother (an agnostic/atheist) stays in touch. I understand so completely even though I'm old. Sometimes life is so hard. I continue to believe that life with God in heaven will be awesome.

I think you'll find people here who understand what you're going through. Put the judgmental ones on ignore.

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It helps to know others go through the same things.

 

[Rescued One]

I know, it's just that I want to forsake my flesh for him and do things that are righteous and reflect my new life in him. Both for myself to get closer to him, and for others so they can see the light and changes in me, you know? I agree with you it's not good to be into religion and legalism and all that, but at the same time I don't know how to find the right balance. I feel like God has convicted me over some stuff, and for sure I can't go back now... Even if I wanted to he wouldn't let me. I guess I need to learn how to live a little more by the holy spirit and find joy in that, rather than live more by the flesh and religion, it's just difficult sometimes.

God is more patient with us than most people are!

 

[DM25]

Sounds to me like you've been sold freedom by way of oppression. Jesus came to free the oppressed, not to oppress. Simply put, there is a duality in Christianity just as there is a dual nature in man. Think of the oppression as the dark side of the force Luke, while Jesus represents the freedom fighters within man's religion. The dark side wants to control your thinking in order to keep you in the fold. Jesus sets you free in a world we are to be in but not of.

Interesting take on it. What do you suggest I do? To get on better terms with God if I was being oppressed by religion in some way?

 

[Rescued One]

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It helps to know others go through the same things.

You're not kidding! starting in high school and then for years I thought no one else suffered depression like I did. My mother didn't criticize like my father, but she was distant and didn't want to be bothered.

 

[TribulationSigns]

Depression is a sign of spiritual illness or affliction.

Paul Washer explained "that to be able to discern when I am believing a lie – believing something that is not true, that does not conform to God’s Word – and then to preach. Instead of letting my heart preach to me, that I ought to preach God’s Word to my heart and stand on the realities of God’s Word rather than on feelings. Another thing that I think has been very helpful is that so many things that would cause us to pity and coddle a man, instead, the man should be rebuked because he’s believing a lie. So many things that seem to be where we treat ourselves as pitiful victims when in actuality, we’re guilty criminals. And just facing that. Facing that with the Word of God and repenting. Another thing I think is very, very good is that it is not enough to say no to the flesh; to say no to an evil practice, but to substitute that evil practice with the doing of good, with virtue. It’s not just putting off, but it’s putting on. And much of that has been very, very helpful. Very helpful."

 

[timothyu]

Interesting take on it. What do you suggest I do? To get on better terms with God if I was being oppressed by religion in some way?

The result of your oppression is you will become that which has taught you, an oppressor yourself and you will be expected to carry on the salesmanship. Do you want to be that? Part of feeling so out of place is you are trying too hard to please that which is contrary to the will of Jesus and God and by the sound of it, your own good nature. A cult be it far flung or Christian will first break you in order to rebuild you in their own image. If there is depression for instance that makes their job so much easier. Same scheme as marketers use to indoctrinate home soap salesmen. Those of the world (secular or Christian) seek gain at the expense of others. You are not obligated to remain with oppressors.
Ever notice when you do something nice for someone you feel good? That is the path my friend and a far better image to portray Jesus by.

 

[devin553344]

Hi, I just want to know if there is something wrong with me spiritually and what I should do, or if this is a normal thing. I've been a Christian for two years now, but I have noticed the last year or so, I've forgotten what the feeling of happiness feels like and I've just been very depressed. When I first found Jesus, I was very happy and I've never been happier in my life... That was in 2017 when I first got saved, everything went well. But then in 2018 I started getting depressed and unhappy when I started to take my walk with God more serious. I feel like I'm not enjoying life as much as I once did. For example, I used to enjoy making music but it was secular music and it was a way to release my creative energy. But then I realized after I was saved I should use my musical talents for the Lord, and what makes me sad is I'm not able to and I have a hard time making gospel music. It depresses me I can't make secular music anymore as that's what I'm good at (about life, love, relationships, and other secular topics). I would love to write gospel songs that glorify Jesus but I am bad at it and have not ideas so now I can't even make music which I really love.

Next, I can't really do fun things anymore that I used to like. God has convicted me to stay away from certain things and people so no more going to the club and all that. I can't be interested in things that aren't of God like I liked watching different YouTube videos, movies, TV Shows, and I can't do that anymore either. Life just feels... boring and not as fulfilling. You can yell at me all you want for saying this but I'm speaking straight from the heart in how I feel and I'm honest with you. God should be enough, he is the most high, but why don't I feel that way? Why do I feel like something is missing and this constant emptiness and consistent feeling of depression and unhappiness?

Is this normal and healthy? Like the bible says to forsake your flesh and pick up your cross, so maybe you won't be as happy as you once was when you were of the world? Maybe this is the price we have to pay and a normal thing in order to get eternal life? Don't get me wrong, I would never want my old life back because God was absent and that's the worst. I just wish I had the old happiness back. I know scripture says we should have joy in God alone, and not focus on our feelings. But is this normal and common what I'm feeling or is something wrong? I should also note another struggle I face is anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and I am on the autism spectrum. I deal with a lot, but I always thought having God in my life would make it easier to deal with but it just feels even more hard now for these things... It just feels like ever since I became a Christian life got tougher, my struggles got more difficult to deal with, and I've become a lot less happy. Is this normal or is something wrong and if so what do I do, where do I go from here to get that happiness I had when I first got saved, the feeling of "the first love" back? I was praying hard and I was obeying God as best I could but I still have that burden, I don't know if it's a healthy burden of picking up and carrying the cross or not.

Just because music isn't about God does not mean it's not inspired by God. It could be about His children instead.

Also we are filled with Joy of the Holy Spirit and that makes one happy.

I think you're throwing your old life away for a new one, but perhaps you should be bringing your new life into the things that make you happy. Maintaining your Christianity.

 

[well hey]

Thanks. I'm happy someone else understands. I hope this is simply a prolonged season and God will give me another season of blessing soon like he did when I first got saved. If not, I have eternity to look forward to.

This is an exellent answer. "For the present troubles are nothing compared to the inexpressable joys on heaven," you have a lot to look forward to. These are current trials and let me tell you, becuase of this God is working out his plan and purpose for you. With your music , try searching for really good christian music that you would dig, theres is a lot out there. What genres do you like? And as far as freinds go, somtimes , and some christians will disagree with me, but sometimes you will be in a place of freindlessless as apointed by God. And a promise I can make to you is he WILL provide amazing relationships in your life, spouse+ freinds. Also im not trying to nit pick but the more you read and study the bible and really take it in, you will have enormous JOY. Ive felt this way too, a little confused about my lifestyle..like music and freinds.

 

[Rescued One]

Interesting take on it. What do you suggest I do? To get on better terms with God if I was being oppressed by religion in some way?

I went through some horrible circumstances because of my dysfunctional family, and got up in the middle of the night and read the Psalms. David cried and felt hopeless and screwed up a lot. Then he would put his trust in God again, want forgiveness, and never give up. I asked my father for help one time(I was in my thirties) and he acted as though I didn't deserve help. I said, "Good-bye," hung up the phone and burst out sobbing.

I remember something I read once: "If you don't feel close to God, guess who moved?" He wants to help you, not push you away. And He promises to help you. As you find verses, either write them down or memorize them.

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Psalm 4:7 ESV
7 You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.

 

[trophy33]

Yes and no. If you lost somebody, if your pet dies etc, it is of course normal to feel sad, not to have energy to do tasks etc.

But if it takes years and holds you back in your life, if you cannot develop and move forward, if your you are unable to find jobs because of it, if you cant sleep for months etc., then it should be treated properly and it is not normal anymore.