- Sep 2, 2017
- 7
- 13
- 35
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Atheist
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
I posted a thread here a little over a year ago asking for verifiable, objective evidence that God exists. I have struggled with believing in something for which I do not see any verifiable evidence of existence. I wrote that post about 9 months after I started dating my boyfriend, who is Christian. He has never forced anything down my throat or tried to preach to me, but I occasionally have mocked his religion or Christianity in general....eventually, I just started demanding answers to various questions I had or inconsistencies I saw with religion.
And yet here I am, just having purchased my first Bible last night. I decided to start with the New Testament, because I have tried reading from the beginning before and it made me bitter and angry. I still don't believe all of this, but I'm willing to give it a shot and read with an open mind.
I finished reading the sermon on the mount and I'm on chapter 12 of Matthew. Most of it I can more or less agree with, but a few things have stuck out to me. For one thing, according to Matthew 12:32, it seems I am kind of S.O.L. if I ever do find my faith again, since I've committed the unforgivable sin of speaking out against God. According to this, that can't ever be forgiven, even if everything else can. So even if God is real, it seems I may be wasting my time, right?
Also in general there seems to just be a lot of stuff you're supposed to do or not do or else you won't get into the kingdom of heaven. Which sounds a lot like what my church taught me when I was younger. It sounds nearly impossible, to be honest. And even if I could do those things, how could I be 100% sure that I would go to heaven? I guess I can't, right? Because the point is to have faith...
I guess the plan for now is to read and then perhaps seek out other texts which explain the context of when the Bible was written and if there is evidence in other texts that confirms these events occurred as stated, or maybe some sort of geographical physical evidence for these events. If anyone has any suggestions for literature along those lines, I would appreciate it. I'm not sure what else to do. I mean....I can't force myself to believe something. It wouldn't be natural to say I believed it if I couldn't 100% commit to it.
And yet here I am, just having purchased my first Bible last night. I decided to start with the New Testament, because I have tried reading from the beginning before and it made me bitter and angry. I still don't believe all of this, but I'm willing to give it a shot and read with an open mind.
I finished reading the sermon on the mount and I'm on chapter 12 of Matthew. Most of it I can more or less agree with, but a few things have stuck out to me. For one thing, according to Matthew 12:32, it seems I am kind of S.O.L. if I ever do find my faith again, since I've committed the unforgivable sin of speaking out against God. According to this, that can't ever be forgiven, even if everything else can. So even if God is real, it seems I may be wasting my time, right?
Also in general there seems to just be a lot of stuff you're supposed to do or not do or else you won't get into the kingdom of heaven. Which sounds a lot like what my church taught me when I was younger. It sounds nearly impossible, to be honest. And even if I could do those things, how could I be 100% sure that I would go to heaven? I guess I can't, right? Because the point is to have faith...
I guess the plan for now is to read and then perhaps seek out other texts which explain the context of when the Bible was written and if there is evidence in other texts that confirms these events occurred as stated, or maybe some sort of geographical physical evidence for these events. If anyone has any suggestions for literature along those lines, I would appreciate it. I'm not sure what else to do. I mean....I can't force myself to believe something. It wouldn't be natural to say I believed it if I couldn't 100% commit to it.