Saving money in a marriage

[DZoolander]

I've always wondered about those healthcare cost sharing ministries - to be honest. I know a few people that are on them - and they rave about them - but to be honest they've never had anything major happen to them during the time they've been on them either.

So, I've always wondered what would happen if something major WERE to occur...

For example, when my son was born he had a little bit of a respiratory issue. He had to spend three days or so in NICU. When all was said and done - even after the negotiated rates - the total tally was over $70,000. Traditional insurance is actually a contract. So long as it's conditions are met, they NEED to pay the claim else you have just cause to sue them and make them pay anyhow.

Even with that contract - it was still drama where the insurance company tried tooth and nail to find cause to deny the claim and leave us sacked with the bill.

But - let's say we had a healthcare cost sharing type thing... How exactly is that handled? Do they actually have a contract with you outlining what they will and will not pay for? Let's say you were faced with a $70,000 bill...would they likely pay for it? Or what would the odds be that they'd come back and say "Welp, that's more than we anticipated, we're only going to cover $20,000"...or some other amount that they felt would be in line with a traditional birth?

Do you know anything about those types of things? Is my concern warranted? Have you ever known someone on one of those types of things where something major occurred and it was covered?

 

[DZoolander]

Once they start school, costs do go up a bit. One doesn't want their child to be known to wear Goodwill clothing and extra-curricular things all cost extra. Then there is the college fund which needs to be saved up for each child.

Yeah - my children are still pretty young - so I'm just getting into the "school trying to keep up with the Jones's" stuff. My daughter is now in the 2nd grade and I can see that stuff starting now...lol She already has her favorite brands of clothing.

 

[Paidiske]

That's where going to a school with a uniform does help.

But advertising! I wish I could banish so much of the advertising constantly pushing stuff at her.

 

[mina]

I've always wondered about those healthcare cost sharing ministries - to be honest. I know a few people that are on them - and they rave about them - but to be honest they've never had anything major happen to them during the time they've been on them either.

So, I've always wondered what would happen if something major WERE to occur...

For example, when my son was born he had a little bit of a respiratory issue. He had to spend three days or so in NICU. When all was said and done - even after the negotiated rates - the total tally was over $70,000. Traditional insurance is actually a contract. So long as it's conditions are met, they NEED to pay the claim else you have just cause to sue them and make them pay anyhow.

Even with that contract - it was still drama where the insurance company tried tooth and nail to find cause to deny the claim and leave us sacked with the bill.

But - let's say we had a healthcare cost sharing type thing... How exactly is that handled? Do they actually have a contract with you outlining what they will and will not pay for? Let's say you were faced with a $70,000 bill...would they likely pay for it? Or what would the odds be that they'd come back and say "Welp, that's more than we anticipated, we're only going to cover $20,000"...or some other amount that they felt would be in line with a traditional birth?

Do you know anything about those types of things? Is my concern warranted? Have you ever known someone on one of those types of things where something major occurred and it was covered?

We belong to one and it's great. In terms of maternity coverage, they will cover everything, no questions asked. You submit the bill from the hospital and they will mail the check to cover anything. They do ask you to tell the hospital or doctor that you are technically self pay; because that gets the bill down and majorly discounted. If the hospital won't do that for you; they will call on your behalf to try and get the costs down. If the hospital won't budge, they will send you a check to cover the final bill. The only thing ours (and others) do not cover with maternity is like genetic testing. My doctor wanted me to have it because of my age when pregnant. We had to pay on our own and it ended up being like $120 , so it was affordable all in all. It does take a few months for them to process paperwork; we paid a small amount out of our pockets each month on our hospital/delivery bill and in like 3 months time we were sent a check to reimburse us and to pay off all bills associated with birth/delivery. In regards to the other coverage outside of maternity; there are certain rules. It's a Christian organization so you have to abide within their rules of morality. If you are drunk and driving and get in an accident , they aren't going to cover your hospital bills for that. If you have an affair outside of marriage and get pregnant; they won't cover it. In a nutshell it's catastrophic coverage with 100% maternity basically.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

I kind of get where your husband comes from.
He's worked hard and contributed a lot and wants to splurge a little.
That being said, he should have discussed it with you.
My mom, and her best friend have a rule that they both share with their husbands: any purchases of $100 or more can't be made without calling the spouse first.
Because of our financial situation (our savings is kind of shot even though my husband is great with money but has a lot of health issues), my husband and I have a $50 rule.

I know you both have been working hard, and you're anxious to see the fruits of your labor and reach your goal.
Maybe consider taking a little break and reconnect with a fancy date or a weekend away to re-enegized and reconnect with one another?
I don't think that anyone would call that frivolous spending.
In the meantime, talk to your husband about maybe putting the tattoo off and instead talking about taking a little extra to spend on something you both enjoy.

 

[Dave-W]

My mom, and her best friend have a rule that they both share with their husbands: any purchases of $100 or more can't be made without calling the spouse first.

Yyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaahhhh.

I got one of those calls a few months ago.
For a new sewing machine.
Costing over $2500. (She already had 4 or 5)

”It’s a floor model and over 50% off...”

I said yes. So did my brother in law. So when we packed up at the end of the quilt show, 3 of those floor models were packed into his station wagon. ( a friend of theirs wanted one also)

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Eh, as long as your not in debt and making good money then I wouldn't say its a big deal. But maybe I'd say "If you get this tattoo then you have to agree not to get one for a few more years!".

Money is a complicated topic in marriage. Since my wife came to America she is obsessed with sales. Which can be good but not when you buy everything because its on sale. She doesn't understand things will always be on sale and even if you miss a sale, it will go on sale or be cheaper again at some point.

Now when compared to our friends (his wife is from my wifes country too), they make 70k I think and they WAY overspend. Especially the wife. She doesn't usually buy anything on sale. And shes into Coach and things like that. Got thousands of "under garments" she buts from Victoria Secret for no real reason.

Though the other issue the husband is a bit OCD so hes always buying costly food and drinks because hes worried about the quality of the items, if it will make him sick...etc. And they both seem to "compete". When one person spends like $300, the other person will spend the same amount. Its petty. The marriage is reaching its tipping point.

Money issues need to be addressed if a marriage is to survive. Because remember whatever debt a spouse racks up is also your debt. If God forbid they die, you're stuck with all the debt. If your a saver like me, I'd be mad to be stuck with debt that I insisted shouldn't be there in the first place.

 

[Saricharity]

I never realized how expensive health care is in the United States. I'm surprised anyone has children. So much to think about just considering to have a baby.

Regarding the OP...I think I would be upset if my husband was planning to spend $300 on a tattoo too. Seems like such a frivolous waste of money. But I do understand that sometimes people want to splurge on themselves once and a while.

As far as waiting until you are financially set before having children, I guess I wasn't raised like that. My mom always told me that if God gives you the little lamb, he will provide the pasture. My parents were married at 18 and had my brother a year later. They didn't have much money at all. My dad was going through school to be a pastor and my mom was going to school to be a teacher. They lived on scholarships and love. I showed up a few years later. My parents never let money dictate when they had children.

My husband and I are financially stable (much more than my parents were at my age). My husband is amazing with money and has saved everything he's made since he was a young teen. We received an inheritance as well, which I admit puts us at quite an advantage over peers our age. I go to school on a full scholarship and so did my husband. He works full time, and I attend school (and teach piano, tutor and work part-time). We bought our home outright and don't have a mortgage. It's not a mansion but it's a great first time home. We've been doing some renovating and have plans to eventually flip it when I finish school. My husband is a whiz at renovations...his dad flipped houses most of his childhood so he has been well trained in how it's done. Our goal is to purchase a farm in the country. My dream is to own my own organic farm like my parents. My mom passed valuable skills on to me like cooking, sewing and making my own clothing etc. Our plan right now is when I finish school, we will flip the house and buy another to renovate and then, while we are fixing up the house, we will begin our family.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

As far as waiting until you are financially set before having children, I guess I wasn't raised like that. My mom always told me that if God gives you the little lamb, he will provide the pasture. My parents were married at 18 and had my brother a year later. They didn't have much money at all. My dad was going through school to be a pastor and my mom was going to school to be a teacher. They lived on scholarships and love. I showed up a few years later. My parents never let money dictate when they had children.

Awesome story, great example.
I kind of get the impression that kids come when they want to/God chooses the timing.
My husband and I would not have gotten married in less than a year after we started dating had we not found out we were expecting.
It worked out pretty well. With his health being what it was over this last year, the way he was needing my support was what I could really only do as his wife and not his girlfriend.
Fortunately, we were pretty well established.

 

[Saricharity]

ohhh congratulations on your expectant baby!!