- Feb 19, 2017
- 610
- 1,222
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hello everyone,
Well, it's been quite a spell since I've been on this forum. So much has happened since I've been on here last. I got into the college program of my choice, my family got a new puppy, and I've been trying to learn how to cook more! ...But that's not exactly why I'm here today. Today, I bring with me bad news and the reasons why the bad news happened.
The bad news? I dropped out of RCIA after stage one of it was done.
I didn't drop out of RCIA because I hate Catholicism or anything. Actually, I still think Catholicism is beautiful in my heart. It's just... well, you see, I have a certain mental condition caused by chronic childhood trauma. It's a mental condition that is close to Dissociative Identity Disorder, except I don't have the amnesia needed to qualify for that diagnosis. Basically, what I am trying to say is that I have what I guess you could call "multiple personalities" (although that description is rather outdated by today's standards). These other personalities are not demons or anything like that, but rather they are other parts of a singular personality that were splintered off. Again, it was caused by chronic childhood traumas. I can't remember if I stated my disorder on here before or not, but chances are that I have not due to the stigma that I feared I might get for saying that I had other personality states. But, over the years, I've learned that honesty is the best policy, so now here we are.
Anyways, moving on, I am the Christian part of the personality system. The only Christian. I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and accept him as my lord and savior. And I want to do what it takes to make him happy. So, I decided to talk the main person in our personality system into taking an RCIA class. And we did attend for the entire Summer and it was great! I was able to change some of her personal opinions and such to align more with what God would want... but she didn't accept all of the teachings of the Church and so she dropped out. Not only that, but she reasoned that since the rest of the personality system don't accept the teachings of the Church either, or even identify as Christian, we couldn't honestly join Catholicism. After all, it would be dishonest to say that we all accepted it if that wasn't true... and she's right. It would be fake to do something like that, and that would be like an insult in the eyes of God.
So, with ALL of that being said, I have a question to ask. Do you think it would be possible for us all to still go to Heaven even if we don't all agree on which path is the right one? I mean, there is another personality part who identifies as Muslim still and another that another that identifies as strictly Jewish (meaning not Messianic). The rest are pretty much Agnostic. I want for us to all believe in the same thing and to be able to get baptized, but each personality part exists as they do for a reason. I can't just change their fundamental beliefs just because I wish they would. It just doesn't work that way.
My plan was to just pray, read the Bible, go to Church, and do other things like that whenever I'm out. But I feel like that's all I can do. I can't get baptized unless everyone else believes too and, because of that, I feel like I've let God down and that I'm possibly going to receive his wrath after we die because I didn't do a good enough job proselytizing to the other members of my personality system.
I feel like such a failure... and I'm truly sorry if this is putting a lot on everyone's shoulders. I also apologize if this wasn't the correct forum to place this question in, but I thought since I was wanting to address the Catholics on here that it belonged here specifically. Still, feel free to move the thread if that is what is best.
Hoping I haven't ruined anyone's view of me,
SFG
Well, it's been quite a spell since I've been on this forum. So much has happened since I've been on here last. I got into the college program of my choice, my family got a new puppy, and I've been trying to learn how to cook more! ...But that's not exactly why I'm here today. Today, I bring with me bad news and the reasons why the bad news happened.
The bad news? I dropped out of RCIA after stage one of it was done.
I didn't drop out of RCIA because I hate Catholicism or anything. Actually, I still think Catholicism is beautiful in my heart. It's just... well, you see, I have a certain mental condition caused by chronic childhood trauma. It's a mental condition that is close to Dissociative Identity Disorder, except I don't have the amnesia needed to qualify for that diagnosis. Basically, what I am trying to say is that I have what I guess you could call "multiple personalities" (although that description is rather outdated by today's standards). These other personalities are not demons or anything like that, but rather they are other parts of a singular personality that were splintered off. Again, it was caused by chronic childhood traumas. I can't remember if I stated my disorder on here before or not, but chances are that I have not due to the stigma that I feared I might get for saying that I had other personality states. But, over the years, I've learned that honesty is the best policy, so now here we are.
Anyways, moving on, I am the Christian part of the personality system. The only Christian. I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and accept him as my lord and savior. And I want to do what it takes to make him happy. So, I decided to talk the main person in our personality system into taking an RCIA class. And we did attend for the entire Summer and it was great! I was able to change some of her personal opinions and such to align more with what God would want... but she didn't accept all of the teachings of the Church and so she dropped out. Not only that, but she reasoned that since the rest of the personality system don't accept the teachings of the Church either, or even identify as Christian, we couldn't honestly join Catholicism. After all, it would be dishonest to say that we all accepted it if that wasn't true... and she's right. It would be fake to do something like that, and that would be like an insult in the eyes of God.
So, with ALL of that being said, I have a question to ask. Do you think it would be possible for us all to still go to Heaven even if we don't all agree on which path is the right one? I mean, there is another personality part who identifies as Muslim still and another that another that identifies as strictly Jewish (meaning not Messianic). The rest are pretty much Agnostic. I want for us to all believe in the same thing and to be able to get baptized, but each personality part exists as they do for a reason. I can't just change their fundamental beliefs just because I wish they would. It just doesn't work that way.
My plan was to just pray, read the Bible, go to Church, and do other things like that whenever I'm out. But I feel like that's all I can do. I can't get baptized unless everyone else believes too and, because of that, I feel like I've let God down and that I'm possibly going to receive his wrath after we die because I didn't do a good enough job proselytizing to the other members of my personality system.
I feel like such a failure... and I'm truly sorry if this is putting a lot on everyone's shoulders. I also apologize if this wasn't the correct forum to place this question in, but I thought since I was wanting to address the Catholics on here that it belonged here specifically. Still, feel free to move the thread if that is what is best.
Hoping I haven't ruined anyone's view of me,
SFG
