Feeling very sad. Please can I have a prayer

Rosesandthorns

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Hey all, I have been reading the prayers in this forum and following them to see how everyone is doing now it's really lovely to see the Christians on this forum are so loving and friendly towards eachother and I am glad I found this place, unfortunately I've had the opposite experience I have asked the church for support often times to them seeing me as "not trying hard enough" and just backlashing me when I needed a friend and it hurt me a lot.

I just want to get off my chest I am struggling at the moment coming back to the Lord, it's been 2 years now since I became a Christian and found the truth, in that time I've sinned, I've grieved the Holy Spirit and feared I had seared my concience.

I am sorrowful as I remember that the whole time I just didn't see the light, I knew the truth but I didn't allow it to change me.. I thought that the Lord was saying "It's ok Amy, you are just young.." ect but the holy spirit left. I'm not alone I know there's others in this situation although for a good few months I was convinced I was the only one. The Lord is pulling me back, convicting me still but I don't feel the holy spirit like I used to a few years ago, I am struggling so much with pride and hardness of heart and I want to repent fully please will you pray I do repent in fullness
 

brinny

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Hey all, I have been reading the prayers in this forum and following them to see how everyone is doing now it's really lovely to see the Christians on this forum are so loving and friendly towards eachother and I am glad I found this place, unfortunately I've had the opposite experience I have asked the church for support often times to them seeing me as "not trying hard enough" and just backlashing me when I needed a friend and it hurt me a lot.

I just want to get off my chest I am struggling at the moment coming back to the Lord, it's been 2 years now since I became a Christian and found the truth, in that time I've sinned, I've grieved the Holy Spirit and feared I had seared my concience.

I am sorrowful as I remember that the whole time I just didn't see the light, I knew the truth but I didn't allow it to change me.. I thought that the Lord was saying "It's ok Amy, you are just young.." ect but the holy spirit left. I'm not alone I know there's others in this situation although for a good few months I was convinced I was the only one. The Lord is pulling me back, convicting me still but I don't feel the holy spirit like I used to a few years ago, I am struggling so much with pride and hardness of heart and I want to repent fully please will you pray I do repent in fullness

:heart: Praying Rose (((hug)))
 
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“Paisios”

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Hey all, I have been reading the prayers in this forum and following them to see how everyone is doing now it's really lovely to see the Christians on this forum are so loving and friendly towards eachother and I am glad I found this place, unfortunately I've had the opposite experience I have asked the church for support often times to them seeing me as "not trying hard enough" and just backlashing me when I needed a friend and it hurt me a lot.

I just want to get off my chest I am struggling at the moment coming back to the Lord, it's been 2 years now since I became a Christian and found the truth, in that time I've sinned, I've grieved the Holy Spirit and feared I had seared my concience.

I am sorrowful as I remember that the whole time I just didn't see the light, I knew the truth but I didn't allow it to change me.. I thought that the Lord was saying "It's ok Amy, you are just young.." ect but the holy spirit left. I'm not alone I know there's others in this situation although for a good few months I was convinced I was the only one. The Lord is pulling me back, convicting me still but I don't feel the holy spirit like I used to a few years ago, I am struggling so much with pride and hardness of heart and I want to repent fully please will you pray I do repent in fullness
Amy,

I am sad you have not found support from your church, but I hope you will find support and love here. I will add you to my daily prayers.

I am no longer young, and still find myself in sin, and find myself in the pattern...sin, confess, repent, repeat...but there is hope - God will perfect us (Matthew 5:48) - He would not command such if He did not give us a way. And even the Apostle Paul wasn’t able to be perfect (Romans 7:19) and he was called to a higher place than me.

I have sometimes found that when I no longer feel the Holy Spirit as close, it is because He has let go of my hands to let me learn to walk - but even unfelt, He is there beside me, sometimes letting me stumble for my growth, and He has said He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Be of good cheer!
 
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Dave-W

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No — the Holy Spirit has not left you. You have just become insensitive to His leadings. Tht comes from a hardness of heart.

Three times the author of Hebrews quotes Ps 95: “Today if you hear His voice do not harden your heart...”. We harden our hearts when we sense His leading but do not respond properly. He is still there but we are not aware of his presence.
 
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Rosesandthorns

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Amy,

I am sad you have not found support from your church, but I hope you will find support and love here. I will add you to my daily prayers.

I am no longer young, and still find myself in sin, and find myself in the pattern...sin, confess, repent, repeat...but there is hope - God will perfect us (Matthew 5:48) - He would not command such if He did not give us a way. And even the Apostle Paul wasn’t able to be perfect (Romans 7:19) and he was called to a higher place than me.

I have sometimes found that when I no longer feel the Holy Spirit as close, it is because He has let go of my hands to let me learn to walk - but even unfelt, He is there beside me, sometimes letting me stumble for my growth, and He has said He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Be of good cheer!


Paisios, thank you for your encouragement and story I pray the Lord keeps you in his beautiful presence showing you how loved you really are. I am humbled when I hear others stories I feel a sense of hope. Thank you Jesus for these incredible souls.

Amen
 
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Rosesandthorns

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No — the Holy Spirit has not left you. You have just become insensitive to His leadings. Tht comes from a hardness of heart.

Three times the author of Hebrews quotes Ps 95: “Today if you hear His voice do not harden your heart...”. We harden our hearts when we sense His leading but do not respond properly. He is still there but we are not aware of his presence.


Dave-W, thank you for your encouragement!

I had such a hard time accepting this for months. I feel so much peace right now reading these messages and replies that he is not giving up on me. Lord Jesus please bless these incredible souls that have taken their time out to pray I am very grateful.
 
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Dave-W

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No - He absolutely has not given up on you. He will NEVER give up on you.

Like the father of the prodigal son, He is there waiting and watching for you to start on your way back home. He will see you “from afar off” and immediately gather you to himself.

Ask for Him to open your ears and heart once more to be able to perceive His leading.
 
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Brian Mcnamee

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Hey all, I have been reading the prayers in this forum and following them to see how everyone is doing now it's really lovely to see the Christians on this forum are so loving and friendly towards eachother and I am glad I found this place, unfortunately I've had the opposite experience I have asked the church for support often times to them seeing me as "not trying hard enough" and just backlashing me when I needed a friend and it hurt me a lot.

I just want to get off my chest I am struggling at the moment coming back to the Lord, it's been 2 years now since I became a Christian and found the truth, in that time I've sinned, I've grieved the Holy Spirit and feared I had seared my concience.

I am sorrowful as I remember that the whole time I just didn't see the light, I knew the truth but I didn't allow it to change me.. I thought that the Lord was saying "It's ok Amy, you are just young.." ect but the holy spirit left. I'm not alone I know there's others in this situation although for a good few months I was convinced I was the only one. The Lord is pulling me back, convicting me still but I don't feel the holy spirit like I used to a few years ago, I am struggling so much with pride and hardness of heart and I want to repent fully please will you pray I do repent in fullness
Hi what you are feeling is condemnation and this is not from the LORD but a tool of the devil to keep you from growing in the LORD and getting you to down. When you came to the LORD the good news is a sinner like you can be totally completely forgiven for all their sins. When you receive the LORD the rush of love is often very strong and emotional. You make some progress and grow a little but over time you get tempted and fall. Now this is where the conviction of the Holy Spirit is calling you back and saying repent again for Jesus loves you the same and will receive you and it wanting to fill your life again. John says this
5 This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The idea is in all our lives we need to constantly be being cleansed and keep ourselves in God's grace. You have failed and now feel terrible and the condemnation is keeping you from coming back. At this point you are learning we walk by faith and not emotion. It does not take an emotional high to walk away from temptation but faith. Obedience is a choice and when Joseph ran from the advances of Potiphar's wife he did it because he knew it was wrong and made a stand not to sin. In your life you have to make those stands mentally and determine not to cross that line. Every time we cross the line we need to get back on the right side of the line. As you grow in the LORD the lines in your life should change as new levels of maturity in the LORD bring us closer to being like Jesus. The way to walk by faith is to do the basics in reading your word, stay in prayer and fellowship and take responsibility for your life. Make every day a day to the LORD in fellowship with Him. God bless you for He loves and forgives you and is working in your life.
 
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A_Thinker

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Hey all, I have been reading the prayers in this forum and following them to see how everyone is doing now it's really lovely to see the Christians on this forum are so loving and friendly towards eachother and I am glad I found this place, unfortunately I've had the opposite experience I have asked the church for support often times to them seeing me as "not trying hard enough" and just backlashing me when I needed a friend and it hurt me a lot.

I just want to get off my chest I am struggling at the moment coming back to the Lord, it's been 2 years now since I became a Christian and found the truth, in that time I've sinned, I've grieved the Holy Spirit and feared I had seared my concience.

I am sorrowful as I remember that the whole time I just didn't see the light, I knew the truth but I didn't allow it to change me.. I thought that the Lord was saying "It's ok Amy, you are just young.." ect but the holy spirit left. I'm not alone I know there's others in this situation although for a good few months I was convinced I was the only one. The Lord is pulling me back, convicting me still but I don't feel the holy spirit like I used to a few years ago, I am struggling so much with pride and hardness of heart and I want to repent fully please will you pray I do repent in fullness

I will pray for you, Amy.

In the meantime, please know that God hasn't left you ...

Hebrews 13:5-6 - [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you.

Hebrews 4:16 - Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
 
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EzekielsWheels

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Hey all, I have been reading the prayers in this forum and following them to see how everyone is doing now it's really lovely to see the Christians on this forum are so loving and friendly towards eachother and I am glad I found this place, unfortunately I've had the opposite experience I have asked the church for support often times to them seeing me as "not trying hard enough" and just backlashing me when I needed a friend and it hurt me a lot.

I just want to get off my chest I am struggling at the moment coming back to the Lord, it's been 2 years now since I became a Christian and found the truth, in that time I've sinned, I've grieved the Holy Spirit and feared I had seared my concience.

I am sorrowful as I remember that the whole time I just didn't see the light, I knew the truth but I didn't allow it to change me.. I thought that the Lord was saying "It's ok Amy, you are just young.." ect but the holy spirit left. I'm not alone I know there's others in this situation although for a good few months I was convinced I was the only one. The Lord is pulling me back, convicting me still but I don't feel the holy spirit like I used to a few years ago, I am struggling so much with pride and hardness of heart and I want to repent fully please will you pray I do repent in fullness

Amy,

Thank you for asking for prayer and help. I am heartened by your desire to seek full repentance and I pray that you receive it. I have personally found that repentance is a journey with peaks and valleys, as is my relationship with God, sometimes I feel closer to him than other times but he is always right beside me even if I don't "feel" him. I am glad to hear you feel the Lord pulling you back and may you bask in his presence and love. May you be restored tenfold beyond what your spiritual senses were before and be taken up higher into a new place with the Lord.

God Bless,
Daniel
 
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Porpoise

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What you're describing reminds me of an article I read about a second conversion that many go through. In the beginning, we feel consolation after coming to God, we may be passionate and excited about our relationship with him. But in this phase, we're also young in our faith and filled with self-interest and pride. So at some point, a second conversion must happen. The consolation we once had is taken away, and for a while we no longer feel the comfort of his presence like we once did. It is preparation for us to receive spiritual graces.

The Three Ages of the Interior Life | Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, OP | Catholic Spiritual Teaching
 
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Greg Merrill

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Father, it is good to see a good number of responses to Amy's request. I too join in with them, asking You to assure her of Your love, even when at times You may not be please with her sin or lack of commitment to You. May she experience the appreciation and joy of knowing You fully forgive the penitent who are sorry for and turn from their sin, seeking You, Your righteousness, and Your kingdom, Matthew 6:33. May she then begin healthy habits of prayer and Bible reading and grow in her knowledge and experience of You. May she be patient with herself in this growth, and may she be given the support she needs from people; from her pastor, her church, and other Christian friends. May the church see where it has failed, and make the proper corrections to do a better job. May glory to You come out of all this, and may Christians be edified, and even unsaved come to know You. Amen.
 
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LoricaLady

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Sometimes people are very happy with their Churches, but you are by no means the first one here to feel you aren't getting support from some other kinds.

I pray you will find good Christian fellowship and will be led to a very close walk with the Lord.
 
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Deborah D

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Amy, you've come to the right place for prayer support. Don't be afraid to ask for prayer as often as you need it. Keep us posted about your progress.

I pray that you will know and feel God's love and peace. He loves you so much!
.
 
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Rosesandthorns

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Hi what you are feeling is condemnation and this is not from the LORD but a tool of the devil to keep you from growing in the LORD and getting you to down. When you came to the LORD the good news is a sinner like you can be totally completely forgiven for all their sins. When you receive the LORD the rush of love is often very strong and emotional. You make some progress and grow a little but over time you get tempted and fall. Now this is where the conviction of the Holy Spirit is calling you back and saying repent again for Jesus loves you the same and will receive you and it wanting to fill your life again. John says this
5 This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The idea is in all our lives we need to constantly be being cleansed and keep ourselves in God's grace. You have failed and now feel terrible and the condemnation is keeping you from coming back. At this point you are learning we walk by faith and not emotion. It does not take an emotional high to walk away from temptation but faith. Obedience is a choice and when Joseph ran from the advances of Potiphar's wife he did it because he knew it was wrong and made a stand not to sin. In your life you have to make those stands mentally and determine not to cross that line. Every time we cross the line we need to get back on the right side of the line. As you grow in the LORD the lines in your life should change as new levels of maturity in the LORD bring us closer to being like Jesus. The way to walk by faith is to do the basics in reading your word, stay in prayer and fellowship and take responsibility for your life. Make every day a day to the LORD in fellowship with Him. God bless you for He loves and forgives you and is working in your life.
 
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Rosesandthorns

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What you're describing reminds me of an article I read about a second conversion that many go through. In the beginning, we feel consolation after coming to God, we may be passionate and excited about our relationship with him. But in this phase, we're also young in our faith and filled with self-interest and pride. So at some point, a second conversion must happen. The consolation we once had is taken away, and for a while we no longer feel the comfort of his presence like we once did. It is preparation for us to receive spiritual graces.

The Three Ages of the Interior Life | Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, OP | Catholic Spiritual Teaching

Wow this helps my faith right now. Thank you.
 
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