Narsisism. Is this biblical?

[RoseforChrist]

I believe i was a victim of narsisistic abuse in my 11 year marriage. Does it mention anything about narsisism in the bible? It took me all these years to figure out ive been gaslighted and even in the middle of our separation he continues to try to manipulate me. Im naturally an empath by heart and find it hard to believe people are capable of doing this esp in a marriage commitment. He is using the the God hates divorce card to make think leaving him is wrong...Does God really want people to continue in a marriage with a narcissist? Ive lost who i was all these years and he made me feel it was all my fault....im confused about christian views on this...Any sound words???any body?

 

[Dave-W]

There is plenty in the bible about pride - which is the heart of narcissism.

Does your husband claim to be a Christian?

 

[Sarah G]

Well, I wasn't sure so I googled 'what does the bible say about narcissism' and there are way too many results for me to look into it right now. Have you googled it? I think you will find a lot in the articles. Having said that CF users always surprise me with their own insights and encyclopaedic knowledge on all things Biblical so this thread could get interesting too.

Edit: This article seems especially good WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR?

 

[RoseforChrist]

Well, I wasn't sure so I googled 'what does the bible say about narcissism' and there are way too many results for me to look into it right now. Have you googled it? I think you will find a lot in the articles. Having said that CF users always surprise me with their own insights and encyclopaedic knowledge on all things Biblical so this thread could get interesting too.

Edit: This article seems especially good WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR?

Thank you reading up on it now....yes i have googled and watched videos...but there is far more material leaning towards God hates divorce rather than leaving metal abusive relationships.

 

[RoseforChrist]

There is plenty in the bible about pride - which is the heart of narcissism.

Does your husband claim to be a Christian?

Yes he claimed and claims to be a christian...but there are so many red flags that he is so deceptive... After 11 years of dysfunction he has claimed to repented of all abuse toward me and my children...the problem is i do not trust him at all and he twists this into diminishing me into a faithless person and crowds my heart with guilt of what i am teaching my children about giving up on our "family" even though ge cared nothing of are family or salvation over all these years until now. He makes me feel like im going crazy.

 

[Poppyseed78]

If he is trying to make you feel guilty and crazy, then he has not changed. His claims of having repented are not truthful. Trust yourself, your perceptions and feelings. He hurt you for years, and you have every right to have reservations about trusting him again. He has to earn your trust, not demand it from you.

Anyone can be a narcissist or abusive, including Christians. I agree with Dave that pride is often at the core of this. But a person cannot be forced to push aside their pride. A person who is abusive often becomes extremely indignant and offended if you accuse him (or her) of it.

I'm sorry you've gone through this for so long, I know it's difficult as I was in an abusive relationship myself. It saps your energy, your self-respect, your dignity, your confidence, even your will to live. My personal belief is that abuse is a valid reason for divorce, but I know others disagree. However, I consider an abusive spouse one who is breaking his/her vows. The marriage is already broken before the divorce even occurs.

We are instructed to love and cherish, not to degrade and tear down, our spouse. I know many here disagree with me, but this is just my opinion. Children growing up in such an environment are usually harmed by it. Leaving a toxic marriage is not an act of quitting or "giving up," it is a conscious choice to prevent yourself and your children from being further abused. I see it as an act of strength.

I pray your situation improves and God grants you guidance, peace, and comfort. Just a few questions - have you tried marriage counseling? In my opinion, it does not help in abusive relationships, but I'm just wondering. Have you confided in friends or family about what's going on?

 

[RoseforChrist]

If he is trying to make you feel guilty and crazy, then he has not changed. His claims of having repented are not truthful. Trust yourself, your perceptions and feelings. He hurt you for years, and you have every right to have reservations about trusting him again. He has to earn your trust, not demand it from you.

Anyone can be a narcissist or abusive, including Christians. I agree with Dave that pride is often at the core of this. But a person cannot be forced to push aside their pride. A person who is abusive often becomes extremely indignant and offended if you accuse him (or her) of it.

I'm sorry you've gone through this for so long, I know it's difficult as I was in an abusive relationship myself. It saps your energy, your self-respect, your dignity, your confidence, even your will to live. My personal belief is that abuse is a valid reason for divorce, but I know others disagree. However, I consider an abusive spouse one who is breaking his/her vows. The marriage is already broken before the divorce even occurs.

We are instructed to love and cherish, not to degrade and tear down, our spouse. I know many here disagree with me, but this is just my opinion. Children growing up in such an environment are usually harmed by it. Leaving a toxic marriage is not an act of quitting or "giving up," it is a conscious choice to prevent yourself and your children from being further abused. I see it as an act of strength.

I pray your situation improves and God grants you guidance, peace, and comfort. Just a few questions - have you tried marriage counseling? In my opinion, it does not help in abusive relationships, but I'm just wondering. Have you confided in friends or family about what's going on?

Thank you so much for your insight on your own experiences, it is relief to hear i am not the only one even though abuse should never happen esp from someone who has committed before God. To answer yours questions, i have asked him several times to go to counseling with me and he never seemed as it was important to him...we went one time in jan...he was not open with the therapist, after that i just made up my mind i was 100 percent done esp after finding out he took a women on a date while out of town. I just couldnt handle the silent treatment...he would act as if i didnt exist. And when we did talk it always turned bad with me ending up like everything was all my fault. I hope other men and women can be brave and share things here as well.

 

[bhsmte]

I believe i was a victim of narsisistic abuse in my 11 year marriage. Does it mention anything about narsisism in the bible? It took me all these years to figure out ive been gaslighted and even in the middle of our separation he continues to try to manipulate me. Im naturally an empath by heart and find it hard to believe people are capable of doing this esp in a marriage commitment. He is using the the God hates divorce card to make think leaving him is wrong...Does God really want people to continue in a marriage with a narcissist? Ive lost who i was all these years and he made me feel it was all my fault....im confused about christian views on this...Any sound words???any body?

No one should face the abuse from those with personality disorders. This is especially true, when the ones delivering the abuse, refuse to admit the have a problem or or get help.

 

[Dave-W]

Yes he claimed and claims to be a christian...

If he is trying to make you feel guilty and crazy, then he has not changed.

If he claims to be a believer, then he is subject to the Matt 18 18 process. You have talked to him (step 1) and now you take one or 2 others that will tell him what he has done is wrong and he needs to change. And as Poppyseed has said, if he is claiming he has repented and the blame is on you, then he has not REALLY repented.

 

[Bluerose31]

I believe i was a victim of narsisistic abuse in my 11 year marriage. Does it mention anything about narsisism in the bible? It took me all these years to figure out ive been gaslighted and even in the middle of our separation he continues to try to manipulate me. Im naturally an empath by heart and find it hard to believe people are capable of doing this esp in a marriage commitment. He is using the the God hates divorce card to make think leaving him is wrong...Does God really want people to continue in a marriage with a narcissist? Ive lost who i was all these years and he made me feel it was all my fault....im confused about christian views on this...Any sound words???any body?

I am sorry you are suffering Rose. I have some familiarity with narcissism. My only boyfriend had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He tried to be kind to me but was still abusive. He struggled with empathy very badly. I really loved him and I still love him. He cheated on me and left me for another girl. It saved me though, that he left me. I was drowning in my relationship with him. I pray that God helps you in your marriage and that your husband comes to an understanding that he is a Narcissist and seek healing for it through counseling.

 

[rami999]

narcissism is a very hard mental illness for the batient and its familly too

 

[Teamo]

I believe i was a victim of narsisistic abuse in my 11 year marriage. Does it mention anything about narsisism in the bible? It took me all these years to figure out ive been gaslighted and even in the middle of our separation he continues to try to manipulate me. Im naturally an empath by heart and find it hard to believe people are capable of doing this esp in a marriage commitment. He is using the the God hates divorce card to make think leaving him is wrong...Does God really want people to continue in a marriage with a narcissist? Ive lost who i was all these years and he made me feel it was all my fault....im confused about christian views on this...Any sound words???any body?

Sounds like the writer is describing a narcissistic abuser:

“A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord…” Proverbs 6:12-19

I like this website: Scriptures About Narcissism

 

[RoseforChrist]

Thank you for the scripture. It truly is of help.❤

 

[Teamo]

Thank you for the scripture. It truly is of help.❤

You might have come across this guy's videos on youtube, I like this one in particular

 

[Teamo]

Another link:

What Does the Bible Say About Narcissistic Behavior?

 

[RoseforChrist]

Yes i have come across his video. Hes a very interesting individual with a unique perspective. I will check out the other link. Ty

You might have come across this guy's videos on youtube, I like this one in particular

 

[Runswithdogs]

I recommend checking out this site. A Cry For Justice you can search for the articles that pertain directly to narcissistic behavior but you will probably find a lot of other stuff there helpful also.

 

[RoseforChrist]

Thank you for this information

I recommend checking out this site. A Cry For Justice you can search for the articles that pertain directly to narcissistic behavior but you will probably find a lot of other stuff there helpful also.