Putting Myself Out There

[Jaytcee]

Hello Everyone,

I have to put myself out there because I appear to be hopelessly lost. I am 1000% convinced that God is , but I am not a Christian. In fact I am not an adherent to any faith. I was an atheist that came to believe through a profound personal spiritual experience that now makes it impossible for me to be an atheist. I no longer have the ability to even question His existence. That experience got me by for a short time, but it didn't last. I know what Hell is. I know what it take to get there as well, because I came so close to going there twice. I am terrified of actually making it there, but sadly this time I seem to be hopelessly stuck in Hell's event horizon. You see Hell is reached when fear in the form of anger and hatred fills the soul so completely that it becomes all that exists and eventually crushes the soul into a singularity (black hole). The two times I avoided falling into Hell the Love of God filled me, and the love that I found for Him brought me back. This time, however; no matter how hard I try I can't find that love for Him again. The hate that is filling me is to powerful. I know He loves me, but I can't seem to find the love I need to have for Him. I have plenty of excuse, but none make sense in light of the consequences I am facing. I doubt anyone here can help me, but I am desperately hoping I wrong.

 

[mark kennedy]

Welcome to the club, it means your falling under conviction. Of course its distressing, holy God and sinfull humanity always is.

Consider this, you raise a child who in early adulthood makes some serious mistake. You dont approve but what you want is your child to come back from this. Its kind of like that, its not easy but what would you want?

 

[God is good]

Hello Everyone,

I have to put myself out there because I appear to be hopelessly lost. I am 1000% convinced that God is , but I am not a Christian. In fact I am not an adherent to any faith. I was an atheist that came to believe through a profound personal spiritual experience that now makes it impossible for me to be an atheist. I no longer have the ability to even question His existence. That experience got me by for a short time, but it didn't last. I know what Hell is. I know what it take to get there as well, because I came so close to going there twice. I am terrified of actually making it there, but sadly this time I seem to be hopelessly stuck in Hell's event horizon. You see Hell is reached when fear in the form of anger and hatred fills the soul so completely that it becomes all that exists and eventually crushes the soul into a singularity (black hole). The two times I avoided falling into Hell the Love of God filled me, and the love that I found for Him brought me back. This time, however; no matter how hard I try I can't find that love for Him again. The hate that is filling me is to powerful. I know He loves me, but I can't seem to find the love I need to have for Him. I have plenty of excuse, but none make sense in light of the consequences I am facing. I doubt anyone here can help me, but I am desperately hoping I wrong.

Just know that if you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour and trust Him for the forgiveness of your sins, you will be saved because it's all about His ability to save us. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[Bible Highlighter]

Hello Everyone,

I have to put myself out there because I appear to be hopelessly lost. I am 1000% convinced that God is , but I am not a Christian. In fact I am not an adherent to any faith. I was an atheist that came to believe through a profound personal spiritual experience that now makes it impossible for me to be an atheist. I no longer have the ability to even question His existence. That experience got me by for a short time, but it didn't last. I know what Hell is. I know what it take to get there as well, because I came so close to going there twice. I am terrified of actually making it there, but sadly this time I seem to be hopelessly stuck in Hell's event horizon. You see Hell is reached when fear in the form of anger and hatred fills the soul so completely that it becomes all that exists and eventually crushes the soul into a singularity (black hole). The two times I avoided falling into Hell the Love of God filled me, and the love that I found for Him brought me back. This time, however; no matter how hard I try I can't find that love for Him again. The hate that is filling me is to powerful. I know He loves me, but I can't seem to find the love I need to have for Him. I have plenty of excuse, but none make sense in light of the consequences I am facing. I doubt anyone here can help me, but I am desperately hoping I wrong.

Check out this comic tract:

Simply click on the following link:

This Was Your Life

 

[Brotherly Spirit]

Welcome Jaytcee, its good that you've come in search of answers. Takes courage to admit when you need help understanding how you feel and what to do about it. Remember a huge part of believing is faith in Jesus, he's been there struggling and suffering as you are and more so was persecuted then crucified on the cross. What should give you hope is he died for our sins but was raised to be with God, on our behalf he redeems and justifies us in his righteousness (not our own perfection). God bless you to find whats needed here and elsewhere for peace!

 

[Tolworth John]

I am 1000% convinced that God is , but I am not a Christian.

May I suggest checking out the christianityexplored web site for a church in your area running this course.

It gives you the oppertunity to discuss issues about christianity without committing to attend a church in the neutrality of someones home.

Or attend any church near you that claims to be bible believing.
Go as a honest enquirer and ask questions.

 

[Jaytcee]

Welcome to the club, it means your falling under conviction. Of course its distressing, holy God and sinfull humanity always is.

Consider this, you raise a child who in early adulthood makes some serious mistake. You dont approve but what you want is your child to come back from this. Its kind of like that, its not easy but what would you want?

Thanks Mark. I appreciate your response. I am familiar with the axiom faith without works is dead. I didn't find God. God found me. That is why it is impossible for me not to believe. I want to come back. Where I am failing is that I am expecting God to do all the work. I read a book on selling techniques a long time ago. A quote from that book has always resonated with me. The quote was "you are where you most want to be otherwise you wouldn't be there". It is easier for me to sit here in my hatred and expect God to save me once again than it is to work for God which will actually save me. I am appreciative of you response because you made me see that.

 

[Jaytcee]

Welcome Jaytcee, its good that you've come in search of answers. Takes courage to admit when you need help understanding how you feel and what to do about it. Remember a huge part of believing is faith in Jesus, he's been there struggling and suffering as you are and more so was persecuted then crucified on the cross. What should give you hope is he died for our sins but was raised to be with God, on our behalf he redeems and justifies us in his righteousness (not our own perfection). God bless you to find whats needed here and elsewhere for peace!

Thank you Brotherly Spirit. I was a Christian until my senior year in high school. I am 48 now. From the age of 17 to 33 I was a militant atheist. At 33 God found me and save me from killing myself, but I haven't yet come back to believing in Jesus as being (God) the Son of God. I became a member a Alcoholics Anonymous and came to my own understanding of who God is. I made it a point to not create God. I only allow myself to see God as being of pure love but kept myself open to whatever God was willing to reveal to me about Himself. The story of Jesus is well in line with God being pure love, but for reasons I can't explain I can't seem to bring myself to embrace it. That's why I am on a Christian forum. I desperately want to come home.

 

[Jaytcee]

May I suggest checking out the christianityexplored web site for a church in your area running this course.

It gives you the oppertunity to discuss issues about christianity without committing to attend a church in the neutrality of someones home.

Or attend any church near you that claims to be bible believing.
Go as a honest enquirer and ask questions.

Will do Tolworth. Thanks

 

[mark kennedy]

Thanks Mark. I appreciate your response. I am familiar with the axiom faith without works is dead. I didn't find God. God found me. That is why it is impossible for me not to believe. I want to come back. Where I am failing is that I am expecting God to do all the work. I read a book on selling techniques a long time ago. A quote from that book has always resonated with me. The quote was "you are where you most want to be otherwise you wouldn't be there". It is easier for me to sit here in my hatred and expect God to save me once again than it is to work for God which will actually save me. I am appreciative of you response because you made me see that.

Well you certainly have the right idea. Salvation is a free gift, what follows is the work og grace in our lives. Of course wants you to do something with it, in the New Testament they are called works of righteousness. The good news is his yoke isveasyband his burden is light, just building up other believers and an occasional random act of kindness is generally sufficient. You may some day be called to serve in other ways, for now try cultivating a prayer life. Grace is powerful, dont underestimate the works that can result. Just remember, glorify God and be quick to be thankfull. Meanwhile grow in grace and knowledge and these things will work themselves out.

Grace and peace,
Mark