- Dec 3, 2017
- 25
- 30
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Republican
I've been involved with this guy from college for a few months now. We're both Christians. He's got a bit of a history, I.e. he's not a virgin, has gotten into a bit of alcohol before, a bit of cussing etc. I've never done anything like that. Most of it is from being in the army. Hes a man of good character, regardless of his past. He's a really good man and I enjoy his company. He's never pressured me into anything I wasn't okay with.
The most we've done is kiss. I have no intention of taking it further before marriage. He knows that chastity is a big deal to me, and hasn't tried to "put the moves on" so to speak.
Today though, he started kissing me in his car and he was getting a little fired up so I stopped it. We talked about it later and I reaffirmed the fact that I want to save sexual intimacy for marriage. He then tells me that he respects that, and encourages me to hold on to that, but that for a happy and healthy relationship he needs sexual intimacy.
My heart sunk to the bottom of my chest. I really really like him, and I'm extremely sexually attracted to him. I would love to be intimate with him but I just can't.
I told him that I can't.
He was being really sweet about it and said that was okay and that he respected my decision, and that he still wants to see me and talk about it some more.
I know he's disappointed. How could he not be? I feel terrible about it because I want sex too.
And then he went on to say how maybe one day I will be his wife and he will be able to "show me everything." But that we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.
I'm confused because first he basically says for him to be happy in a relationship he NEEDS sex, and when I say no, then he says he'd still like to continue with me, and maybe even marry me???
I just have this terrible pit in my stomach. I want to make him happy, but I'm not going to compromise myself to do so. And he sounds disappointed, and almost like he's saying he still wants to see me because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings? I REALLY want sex as well. But I know the consequences would be greater than the pleasure, and I know how God feels about it, so I just can't. I won't. I want to be able to have that with my husband.
Can I just have some encouragement and advice? The last man I was seeing was a strict no kissing, no sex, no cuddling, "Id better not see any thigh in those shorts" kinda guy, and he ended up being a pathological liar, and he used me to get to the pastors daughter so he could have title in the church.
So I'm a bit sour for his type now...
I just need a hug
The most we've done is kiss. I have no intention of taking it further before marriage. He knows that chastity is a big deal to me, and hasn't tried to "put the moves on" so to speak.
Today though, he started kissing me in his car and he was getting a little fired up so I stopped it. We talked about it later and I reaffirmed the fact that I want to save sexual intimacy for marriage. He then tells me that he respects that, and encourages me to hold on to that, but that for a happy and healthy relationship he needs sexual intimacy.
My heart sunk to the bottom of my chest. I really really like him, and I'm extremely sexually attracted to him. I would love to be intimate with him but I just can't.
I told him that I can't.
He was being really sweet about it and said that was okay and that he respected my decision, and that he still wants to see me and talk about it some more.
I know he's disappointed. How could he not be? I feel terrible about it because I want sex too.
And then he went on to say how maybe one day I will be his wife and he will be able to "show me everything." But that we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.
I'm confused because first he basically says for him to be happy in a relationship he NEEDS sex, and when I say no, then he says he'd still like to continue with me, and maybe even marry me???
I just have this terrible pit in my stomach. I want to make him happy, but I'm not going to compromise myself to do so. And he sounds disappointed, and almost like he's saying he still wants to see me because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings? I REALLY want sex as well. But I know the consequences would be greater than the pleasure, and I know how God feels about it, so I just can't. I won't. I want to be able to have that with my husband.
Can I just have some encouragement and advice? The last man I was seeing was a strict no kissing, no sex, no cuddling, "Id better not see any thigh in those shorts" kinda guy, and he ended up being a pathological liar, and he used me to get to the pastors daughter so he could have title in the church.
So I'm a bit sour for his type now...
I just need a hug