Do you think that using inappropriate contentography is equal to cheating?

[Jon Osterman]

Not my experience; but I will have to take your word for it.

You sound very bitter about it.

 

[Deidre32]

I don’t think we need to live like the ancients did. The message from God is the main point but not living legalistically like those people did lol

 

[Alithis]

I agree, sexual immorality is sin, full stop.

But where I think we might start quibbling is over what exactly falls underneath the "sexual immorality" umbrella.

The problem is - people talk in such vague generalities - and often that leads to problems. For example, let's say I were to ask "Is masturbation sexual immorality?" I'd venture to say that a lot of people would say "yes". Heck, that's what I was taught as a kid.

But is it...really? In and of itself?

When I was a little kid and I discovered that bumping into a wall felt good, and went to town with that void of any association with sex, was that "sexual immorality"? A few weeks back my 7 year old clearly had figured out something similar and told me "This feels good". As uncomfortable as that might be for me and for me to tell them "I'm sure it does. But that's not something to do around other people" - are they being sexually immoral?

I think you'd have a hard time making that case - and if ya even tried - I would totally disagree with you.

So clearly, masturbation in and of itself isn't "sexual immorality" - so then what is? Is it the thoughts that make the difference?

Usually at this point people bring in Matthew 5:28. "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.". That seems like a reasonable way of granting the kid the innocence of not knowing what they're doing, but allowing you to condemn them once they get older for their impure thoughts and it becomes "sexual", right? lol

Ok, let's say we go with that. Well, back when I was a kid going through puberty, I never fantasized about actual people. I never looked at Susie across the classroom and fantasized about her later at night. To me, that always seemed kinda creepy and violating. After all, I might need to ask her a question the next day about homework or something, and the idea that I'd been fantasizing about her would just make that weird.

Rather, my fantasies were mostly just imagery that would be invented in my head. Faceless forms with body types that appealed to me, in scenarios that I liked. So yeah, there was a "sexual" component to it insofar as I was thinking about "sex"...but is that "looking on a woman to lust after her"? Is that a woman? If you think "yes", point her out to me. Where is she? What's her name? Is an invention of my mind created in the moment to achieve an end - and summarily forgotten about the instant after it's finished - a "woman" I can look upon with lust?

IMHO, no.

So, what are we left with then? I'd say, what Jesus said. "Looking upon a woman with lust". But the way I interpret that (clearly) is not the same way a lot of other people want to.

Now - as far as inappropriate content goes - yeah - it's sin. Nobody is arguing that. But going back to the original post - is it "cheating"? I think that answer is just as nuanced a the one I gave above. It depends on the situation and the expectations of your partner.

Something does not need to be "cheating" to be a sin.

sorry to be so forward but when aren't i lol
but this is all irrelvant - cheating is SIN TOO . it IS cheating and unfaithfull ness and hateful in its self centered self gratifying and a sin againt GOd and a sin againt ones own body and a man and wife become one so it is a sin again ones own wife .it is sin through and through and those that continue to practice it under ANY self deleuded lying pretense ARE living in unrepentant SIN from which the lord JEsus wants to set them free but the first step to freedom from all sin is
... REPENTANCE - to put away evil practices ,change the mind and GOD GODS WAY in obedience to his WORD who became flesh .
people need to wake up and realize this truth in the gospel has NEVER changed . people who do not turn away from doing sin they know to be sin and whom read these words will see these words scroll before their eyes eternally

Jesus came to save us from our SIN .. and the death it brings
you/we MUST all repent of doing sinful things against God and man and your own body -believe on the lord JESUS , be baptized for the remission of your sin and receive the holy Spirit who leads us forward into a life of obedient Holiness .. if we do not obey the Gospel we will not be saved .

 

[Alithis]

Um...hmm. I don’t know if that’s always true. Maybe you want to experiment with something new with your spouse, it doesn’t mean you want others. But those thoughts tend to come from somewhere. I’m on a marriage forum and many men post about how their ex gf’s did this or that and their wives won’t. Your question reminds me of that.

its just self seeking -thus not in the realm of Godly love -the individual must "die to self " -such practices and desires are only conforming to the world inspired by whom.. i assure you the inspiration for such things is not of the Holy Spirit .

 

[Dan61861]

God forbid any of us sin.

Yet, we still carry that old man along with us. As long as we have flesh, we will sin. For our flesh cannot please the Lord. We take our sin to the Lord, He is righteous and true to forgive us. What we don't do is excuse our sin or hide our sin. Each of us are predisposed in different areas, a weakness that we fail often. It is admittin to the Lord that weakness, and His glorious forgiveness.

Yet, just because we are weak in certain areas, we still strive not to sin. As Paul said, God is glorified in the mercy He has shown us in our sin. Should we sin, that mercy should abound more....God forbid.

As for inappropriate content, it is sin. It is a weakness many have, no more than pride, anger or greed. We take our sin to the Lord, He is gracious to forgive us.

If my wife had this problem, we would work together to get through it...all in Christ our Lord. For I know, if my wife counted my indiscretions, she would have ample reasons to walk away.

Loving your nieghbor as yourself, is simply looking upon ones self and seeing your own wretchedness. Your desire for God's grace and mercy. And desiring that same grace and mercy for others. This is love.

In Christ
Daniel

 

[Alithis]

God forbid any of us sin.

Yet, we still carry that old man along with us. As long as we have flesh, we will sin. For our flesh cannot please the Lord. We take our sin to the Lord, He is righteous and true to forgive us. What we don't do is excuse our sin or hide our sin. Each of us are predisposed in different areas, a weakness that we fail often. It is admittin to the Lord that weakness, and His glorious forgiveness.

Yet, just because we are weak in certain areas, we still strive not to sin. As Paul said, God is glorified in the mercy He has shown us in our sin. Should we sin, that mercy should abound more....God forbid.

As for inappropriate content, it is sin. It is a weakness many have, no more than pride, anger or greed. We take our sin to the Lord, He is gracious to forgive us.

If my wife had this problem, we would work together to get through it...all in Christ our Lord. For I know, if my wife counted my indiscretions, she would have ample reasons to walk away.

Loving your nieghbor as yourself, is simply looking upon ones self and seeing your own wretchedness. Your desire for God's grace and mercy. And desiring that same grace and mercy for others. This is love.

In Christ
Daniel

inappropriate content is not mere indiscretion -it is direct unambiguous SIN of adultery .
. The scriptures says we buried the old man -
the scripture says to reckon yourselves as dead to sin
the scripture says "let not sin there fore have dominion " ..

Therefore it is so clear we have the choice . always . and to say you should love your wife as reason not to sin in inappropriate content .. should you not first love God and there fore not do it . cant have it both ways .
wow i see so much self excusing and allowance for sin in so many posts on CF .. yes yes everyone says thats what the scriptures says -- BUT ....

but
but but
they all add in a BUT ... it makes Christianity incredulous to the world -a people who say they beleive the bible -yet say BUT-at every opportunity - showing they do not beleive it at all.nor desire to obey .

 

[Dan61861]

inappropriate content is not mere indiscretion -it is direct unambiguous SIN of adultery .
. The scriptures says we buried the old man -
the scripture says to reckon yourselves as dead to sin
the scripture says "let not sin there fore have dominion " ..

Therefore it is so clear we have the choice . always . and to say you should love your wife as reason not to sin in inappropriate content .. should you not first love God and there fore not do it . cant have it both ways .
wow i see so much self excusing and allowance for sin in so many posts on CF .. yes yes everyone says thats what the scriptures says -- BUT ....

but
but but
they all add in a BUT ... it makes Christianity incredulous to the world -a people who say they beleive the bible -yet say BUT-at every opportunity - showing they do not beleive it at all.nor desire to obey .

So, you no longer sin? If you say you do not, I do know what God calls you.

In Christ
Daniel

 

[RDKirk]

At least half of the Corinthian congregation was Jewish. The leader of the church was the former lay head of the synagogue. In fact, they met NEXT DOOR to the synagogue.

Acts 18

I don't see where you're getting your numbers from, but that's off topic anyway.

 

[RDKirk]

I don’t think we need to live like the ancients did. The message from God is the main point but not living legalistically like those people did lol

I don't think they did live "legalistically," and I do think we need to live as the Body of Christ more like they did.

"Legalism" does not mean we don't have standards as members of the Body of Christ.

"Legalism" is thinking that living according to standards obligates the Lord to make us members of the Body of Christ.

 

[Dan61861]

inappropriate content is not mere indiscretion -it is direct unambiguous SIN of adultery .
. The scriptures says we buried the old man -
the scripture says to reckon yourselves as dead to sin
the scripture says "let not sin there fore have dominion " ..

Therefore it is so clear we have the choice . always . and to say you should love your wife as reason not to sin in inappropriate content .. should you not first love God and there fore not do it . cant have it both ways .
wow i see so much self excusing and allowance for sin in so many posts on CF .. yes yes everyone says thats what the scriptures says -- BUT ....

but
but but
they all add in a BUT ... it makes Christianity incredulous to the world -a people who say they beleive the bible -yet say BUT-at every opportunity - showing they do not beleive it at all.nor desire to obey .

My oh my, you sin right here. You made false accusations, and placed words in my mouth I did not say.

I specifically said, inappropriate content is sin. I specifically said, we are not to make excuses for our sin.
Yes, the old man is dead...we are to consider ourselves already dead. Risen, with the Lord. Yet, we still have this flesh. Paul addresses this very well.

In Christ
Daniel

 

[Dan61861]

I don't think they did live "legalistically," and I do think we need to live as the Body of Christ more like they did.

"Legalism" does not mean we don't have standards as members of the Body of Christ.

"Legalism" is thinking that living according to standards obligates the Lord to make us members of the Body of Christ.

Amen...amen...amen

 

[Deidre32]

Let’s not argue and put each other down. That is most certainly not of God.

 

[Guy Incognito]

We (myself included, I know I don't always) need to choose our words here very carefully. Challenge each others positions, but lets not put words into each others mouths or bare false witness. Iron should be sharpening iron. Hope this made sense.

 

[Jon Osterman]

A small point (well actually a big one, but somewhat tangential to the topic): Some people have said that God forgives our sin. I don't think this is true. To forgive our sin would be to pretend it is less serious than it is, and that is not in the character of God. He never tolerates or diminishes sin. Sin is death. So much so that Jesus had to die on the cross for our sin. Our sin is not forgiven - it is washed away, redeemed by Jesus blood. A price is paid, and every time we sin we are contributing to the pain and death of Jesus on the cross. With every sin, we are hamming the nails into His hands.

 

[Dave-W]

Some people have said that God forgives our sin. I don't think this is true. To forgive our sin would be to pretend it is less serious than it is, and that is not in the character of God. He never tolerates or diminishes sin. Sin is death. So much so that Jesus had to die on the cross for our sin. Our sin is not forgiven - it is washed away,

Jeremiah 31:31
Behold, days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah, 32 not like the covenant which I made with their fathers in the day I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, although I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord. 33 “But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the Lord, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 34 They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the Lord, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”

Matthew 9:2
And they brought to Him a paralytic lying on a bed. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the paralytic, “Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven.”

Luke 11:4
‘And forgive us our sins, For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.’”

Acts 10:43
Of Him all the prophets bear witness that through His name everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins.”

Colossians 1:14
in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

[Jon Osterman]

Hebrews 9:22
22 Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.

Edit: Incidentally, this demonstrates how difficult it is to translate the bible into English, and why we should not hold such translations as sacrosanct without considering the original language. For example, in 1 John 1:9 the word translated as forgiveness is actually "aphiemi" which literally means to release a debt. In other words, we no longer have to pay our debt, but Jesus does!

 

[Deidre32]

I don’t agree. God forgives and Jesus told his followers to forgive. I don’t know why so many Christians read the same passages and come away with different meanings. Hmm.

 

[DZoolander]

sorry to be so forward but when aren't i lol
but this is all irrelvant - cheating is SIN TOO . it IS cheating and unfaithfull ness and hateful in its self centered self gratifying and a sin againt GOd and a sin againt ones own body and a man and wife become one so it is a sin again ones own wife .it is sin through and through and those that continue to practice it under ANY self deleuded lying pretense ARE living in unrepentant SIN from which the lord JEsus wants to set them free but the first step to freedom from all sin is
... REPENTANCE - to put away evil practices ,change the mind and GOD GODS WAY in obedience to his WORD who became flesh .
people need to wake up and realize this truth in the gospel has NEVER changed . people who do not turn away from doing sin they know to be sin and whom read these words will see these words scroll before their eyes eternally

Jesus came to save us from our SIN .. and the death it brings
you/we MUST all repent of doing sinful things against God and man and your own body -believe on the lord JESUS , be baptized for the remission of your sin and receive the holy Spirit who leads us forward into a life of obedient Holiness .. if we do not obey the Gospel we will not be saved .

Of course cheating is sin

I think we're in agreement on a lot of that. My only point of quibbling is on the issue asked in the original post. Is inappropriate contentography cheating? I think we can all agree that it's sinful - but I will quibble down and say that while sinful, it's not necessarily cheating. Cheating has it's own definition - and while a lot of people seem to want to make the definition "any sexual activity outside the exclusivity of marriage", I think it's a mistake to define it that way for the reasons I outlined earlier in this thread.

But, quickly put, I think that the line of cheating is defined by your partner's expectations of you. So inappropriate content, while sinful in every situation, may or may not fall under the cheating umbrella. If your partner doesn't mind you watching inappropriate content, you're not cheating on them if you watch it. You are sinning, but you're not cheating.

 

[Dave-W]

the word translated as forgiveness is actually "aphiemi" which literally means to release a debt. In other words, we no longer have to pay our debt, but Jesus does!

Indeed. That is the main meaning of "forgive;" to release a debt.

 

[Dave-W]

I don’t agree. God forgives and Jesus told his followers to forgive.

Indeed.

Our sins before HIM produced a debt that we cannot repay. But Our Lord paid it for us. (forgiveness of sins)

And at times we do things that mean we owe our fellow man. As several of the parables state, we are to release those debts and forgive our brothers and sisters when they owe us.