Do you think that using inappropriate contentography is equal to cheating?

[Guy Incognito]

An insidious part of inappropriate content is social media. I can’t believe the pics I see on FB or IG. And these people are married. To me, that is more dangerous to a marriage than inappropriate content because often times, men and women are liking and commenting pics and then this is how affairs begin. And many married women are ruining their entire lives over some fake flattery from a guy on the internet who likely is telling 20 women per day the same lines. But it’s like amateur inappropriate content on some days

And it’s not only women, it’s a 50/50 split of men posting things. I don’t go on there much anymore because it’s like watching a hook up site but for married people. :/

And that's the thing you got to be careful with on social media – choose your words very carefully, save how you phrase certain compliments for your wife/husband or friends only. Every other complement you make as generic sounding as possible while it still being complementary. And it's the shame it's like that online. For example, I like cosplay, I respect the effort the people put into it and how much they can transform themselves into the character their ambulating. That being said it's difficult to find cosplayers/cosplay photos online without there being a very sexual tent to it, so it's something I don't even look at unless on a trusted site. On Instagram it could be out with this clean this is clean and then Bam some inappropriate content. It shouldn't be like that on any social media platform. Not to advocate for inappropriate content sites at all – I think they shouldn't be a thing, but if there anywhere should be left there and not on social media.

 

[Dave-W]

I can’t help but think though that “sexually free” people don’t end up with as many hang ups that are unhealthy about sex as some of their extreme religious counterparts. We aren’t to look at sex as a terrible thing but it’s to be used with boundaries.

If you want stories from that front, just google "Purity Culture Fail" and see how extreme religious anti-sex teaching has seriously messed people up for life.

 

[DZoolander]

Well...my mother bought me illustrated sex manuals.

That's pretty funny!

My mom had this delusion that she was really open with us kids about it. Saw herself as just some veritable source of good and freely available information - never leaving us wanting for a good answer.

Dunno how she came to that conclusion.

I remember as a kid asking her where babies came from - and her answer of "Why do you want to know??" - which of course led to all sorts of theories on my part about men making incisions in their belly buttons to remove the "man stuff" and making incisions in the woman's belly button to spoon it in...to create the baby. Yep - that's where my mom's information led us. lol

I found out where babies came from the old fashioned way. From dirty conversations with older kids down the street lying about all their exploits at 12-13 years old.

Now, in my mom's defense, she DID tell us about AIDS before most people started talking about it. I remember her telling us about AIDS back in 1981-1982. So gotta give her credit there.

But - illustrated manuals - nope. Had none of that. hahaha

 

[Deidre32]

And that's the thing you got to be careful with on social media – choose your words very carefully, save how you phrase certain compliments for your wife/husband or friends only. Every other complement you make as generic sounding as possible while it still being complementary. And it's the shame it's like that online. For example, I like cosplay, I respect the effort the people put into it and how much they can transform themselves into the character their ambulating. That being said it's difficult to find cosplayers/cosplay photos online without there being a very sexual tent to it, so it's something I don't even look at unless on a trusted site. On Instagram it could be out with this clean this is clean and then Bam some inappropriate content. It shouldn't be like that on any social media platform. Not to advocate for inappropriate content sites at all – I think they shouldn't be a thing, but if there anywhere should be left there and not on social media.

That’s funny you mention that. I went two years ago to a cosplay show here and I couldn’t believe how people were dressed. Lol

 

[DZoolander]

delete

 

[DZoolander]

I study social dynamics of England and middle upper class for fun... Premarital sex was not only hardly uncommon, it was the standard. In both England and the US in the 1800s, a couple would court and then announce an engagement or betrothal. After the engagement or betrothal was announced, it was assumed the couple was having sex. Especially and middle or upper middle class and the extreme upper class, they wouldn’t get married until *after* a confirmed pregnancy for the simple fact that it was incredibly hard to divorce and socially ruinous. Men and the parents of the future bride and groom wanted to guarantee she could get pregnant before being locked into a marriage as the only thing worse than a wife who only gives you girls is a wife who gives you none at all. And in the 1800s and 1900s, fidelity was not what it is now, for men and for women. The key difference was a man could sleep around and it was expected, and the wife could sleep around but had to be discrete. That was the dynamic for social structure until about Henry the 8th when men demanded loyalty (either by discrete infidelity or total fidelity) but it returned during the reign of the “VirginQueen.” King Henry’s view on this shifted quite dramatically in his lifetime, even.

In short, when people didn’t have cable, they found other ways to amuse themselves.

But let's not let facts detract from the idea that these were the folks of old. Pious, God fearing, where he had only known her and she had only known him...and they only did it for procreation, with the lights off, while singing hymns to assuage their sin.

 

[Guy Incognito]

That’s funny you mention that. I went two years ago to a cosplay show here and I couldn’t believe how people were dressed. Lol

Yeah - I'd love to go to a con sometime, but I'm aware of how much people'll be dressed like that. My wife and I may even cosplay, but g rated style. If my wife wants to go any further, I'd be thrilled - only if it was for the bedroom though lol.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Out of boredom - I pulled out some of my old texts from college and think I found the article. It's called:

Premarital Pregnancy in America 1640-1971: An Overview and Interpretation
by Hindus.

I'll have to re-read it since it's been nearly 25 years...lol But I think that's where I read it.

.......an overview and interpretation by Hindus, ay? Okay. Could be interesting. I'll look it up when I get to my next pit stop in a few days.

Thanks for looking for the article. It is appreciated, DZ!

 

[2PhiloVoid]

But let's not let facts detract from the idea that these were the folks of old. Pious, God fearing, where he had only known her and she had only known him...and they only did it for procreation, with the lights off, while singing hymns to assuage their sin.

View attachment 239415

What was that theme song I used to hear on the t.v. re-runs as a kid ? Oh Yeah!

"Green Acres is the place to be, ........!"

M'boy! I can hear the bedroom talk now. It'd sound something like this-- She says, "I said lights out, Herbert! And I mean it! Now, Herbert! And get your scrawny fanny over here in bed, and don't trip over the dog. Be ready to join me as we hum Amazing Grace together while we do what it is we have to do......and let's get this over with before the Lord sees us!"

He says, "Okay, Margaret!"

 

[2PhiloVoid]

.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Fair enough - but what did your parents think about the sexual mores of the 1960's compared to when they were growing up? lol

My dad said that he and my mother ordered Playboy during the 1st year or so of their marriage. When I heard that as a teenager, I was like ....."What?!" And this came on the heels of several years in the liberal Presbyterian church (very occasionally, that is, not regularly).

The funny thing is, other than for a brief 1 or 2 minutes in a discussion over birth control methods when I first got married, I can't remember my dad and I ever really discussing what he thought the sexual mores the 1960s were like as compared to his time growing up in even earlier decades. He just said something like, "When the Beatles came along, then that's when things started getting a bit more liberal."

 

[Deidre32]

Have we solved all of the world’s problems, yet?

 

[RDKirk]

The funny thing is, other than for a brief 1 or 2 minutes in a discussion over birth control methods when I first got married, I can't remember my dad and I ever really discussing what he thought of the sexual mores the 1960s were like as compared to his time growing up in earlier decades. He just said something like, "When the Beatles came along, then that's when things started getting a bit more liberal."

Not Elvis?

 

[mama2one]

yep ^

as a teen, accidently discovered my dad had playboy mags

happened to look up in bathroom and saw something sticking out slightly on top of cabinet
got up on bathroom counter and saw couple mags

always wondered if mom knew and since they were "hidden", guessing not


parents think kids won't discover their secrets but often they do, lol

 

[DZoolander]

My parents kept their stuff pretty well hidden. After my folks passed - my wife and I went back out to my old hometown to get the house prepped and ready for sale...which meant going through EVERYTHING and clearing the house out. So there were lots of areas that I got into that apparently I missed as a kid.

Finding my folks' copies of the Kama Sutra and books like "The Joy of Sex" was a little ... weird.

 

[Ana the Ist]

The reporter (who was there) said he saw every sex act he had ever heard of being performed right out in front of everyone, and several acts he had never heard of before.

Sex acts like "The Aristocrats"?

 

[Ana the Ist]

I don’t know. I remember back in college reading some study where they had taken a bunch of birth records from back in puritan times, and contrasted it to the marriage records for those families. And in a good percentage of them, the birth of the first child took place roughly 5-7 months after the marriage was performed. That means that even in Puritan times there was a fair amount of premarital sex going on.

So the question then becomes, were all of those people really seriously involved? Involved in relationships that were desired to be long term — and the pregnancy just sped up the timetable on what would have otherwise been a marriage anyhow? Or was it people just banging around - and begrudgingly getting married when it ceased being an option to just walk away when they were done? Given human nature I’d say it was a mix of both.

Just like today would be if birth control wasn’t as reliable as it is.

There's a certain amount of romanticism that's possible with the past that simply isn't possible today because of the proliferation of record keeping. So while the upper crust of centuries ago may have had success at holding to higher moral standards...it's worth remembering that these are also times when prostitution was basically ignored if it wasn't completely legal and regulated. For centuries in England, prostitution was treated like a business...an undesirable business, but a business regardless. The whole outlawing of prostitution as a moral crime is a fairly new concept if one looks at the big picture historically.

There was a rather poorly done, low-budget documentary about some town in Wisconsin in the 19th century when it was still sort of a frontier area. I can't remember the name of it, but it basically annihilated any romanticism about the old west that I might have still believed.

Frontier life in small, poor, rural communities was filled with violence, degradation, and hardship in general. It made dying of a heart attack at 45 seem like a nice way to go back then.

 

[Dave-W]

Sex acts like "The Aristocrats"?

Sorry - I do not get your reference.

 

[Jon Osterman]

My wife and I abstained from sex for years after we got married because we had no intention of having children yet. It never did our relationship any harm. We now have a daughter, who is now 11, and we won't have any more. We have never used birth control. Fortunately my daughter is very level headed and sensible, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that that doesn't change when becoming a teenager. She is now getting sex education at school and I am trying to keep an eye on what she is being taught, but so far it seems reasonable, focussing on the physical and mechanical processes.

 

[Ana the Ist]

Sorry - I do not get your reference.

It's a joke comedians tell....involves the most disgusting sexual things you can imagine.