Hey folks. A little bit of an issue came up that I am not sure how to handle. To say that God dropped a nuke on my head would be a bit of understatement.
After I moved to a new location, I finally decided that I feel ready to join a church community. I met a guy there and he invited me to visit his little fellowship, which meets daily for bible study and discussion. Boy, did I not want to go. Still, I felt compelled to try at least once. I went there with a desire to prove to myself and to them that this is not necessary and the first part was me actually fishing for bible phrases to prove my point that fellowship ain’t all that. Those weren’t the kinds of people I would usually consider meeting, simply for socioeconomic and educational reason.
However, then the bomb dropped in form of Acts 9:6, as suggested by one of the other six attendants. You see, I am a big fan of Paul, him being somewhat of a personal hero for me. But I never realized that one crucial point. Before he went all out on his own way, he was first told by the church what to do. And even when traveling, he had companions and rejoiced at seeing Christian communities. This passage stung hard, as God showed me the immense wall of pride I have built up and how it was blinding me and made me understand the importance of fellowship. But not only that, He then proceeded to tear down my little wall. All of a sudden I saw those people in a different light and I grew softer towards them. However, it was a very painful, humbling and downright uncomfortable experience, which resulted in dizziness and chills.
Now that God has opened my eyes and showed me how my compulsion to grow upwards I completely neglected, and even counteracted, to grow closer with others, I am not sure how to deal with that. I know that the fellowship meets daily, but I am not sure that is doable for me due to university. And then there is the question of my other activities and my quiet time. I am not sure how fellowship fits into my life, or rather I am not sure about the changes that my life will need to undergo now. I definitely feel different about the meetings now and I feel more open to visit other groups as well and make it a regular thing. However, I still lack the understanding of how it all fits together, I can’t answer the fellowship vs. quiet time dilemma and the general structure of life. I feel kind of disoriented and I even started to question all my activities that I do and whether it is even alright for me to pursue hobbies such a board games with my friends if it would mean me not being able to attend a fellowship sometimes.
Do you have any advice?
After I moved to a new location, I finally decided that I feel ready to join a church community. I met a guy there and he invited me to visit his little fellowship, which meets daily for bible study and discussion. Boy, did I not want to go. Still, I felt compelled to try at least once. I went there with a desire to prove to myself and to them that this is not necessary and the first part was me actually fishing for bible phrases to prove my point that fellowship ain’t all that. Those weren’t the kinds of people I would usually consider meeting, simply for socioeconomic and educational reason.
However, then the bomb dropped in form of Acts 9:6, as suggested by one of the other six attendants. You see, I am a big fan of Paul, him being somewhat of a personal hero for me. But I never realized that one crucial point. Before he went all out on his own way, he was first told by the church what to do. And even when traveling, he had companions and rejoiced at seeing Christian communities. This passage stung hard, as God showed me the immense wall of pride I have built up and how it was blinding me and made me understand the importance of fellowship. But not only that, He then proceeded to tear down my little wall. All of a sudden I saw those people in a different light and I grew softer towards them. However, it was a very painful, humbling and downright uncomfortable experience, which resulted in dizziness and chills.
Now that God has opened my eyes and showed me how my compulsion to grow upwards I completely neglected, and even counteracted, to grow closer with others, I am not sure how to deal with that. I know that the fellowship meets daily, but I am not sure that is doable for me due to university. And then there is the question of my other activities and my quiet time. I am not sure how fellowship fits into my life, or rather I am not sure about the changes that my life will need to undergo now. I definitely feel different about the meetings now and I feel more open to visit other groups as well and make it a regular thing. However, I still lack the understanding of how it all fits together, I can’t answer the fellowship vs. quiet time dilemma and the general structure of life. I feel kind of disoriented and I even started to question all my activities that I do and whether it is even alright for me to pursue hobbies such a board games with my friends if it would mean me not being able to attend a fellowship sometimes.
Do you have any advice?