The Rib At My Side, Where Is She? (M/25)

Jul 1, 2018
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To get a Christian woman I need the job and I need the fancy car and I need the house. I have no inspiration to workout. Opposite sex influence of a caring woman would help me more with Jesus. I wish I had the money since me talking about the Bible constantly is something they don't want. I want an Eve. Inspiration to change. Who am I getting better for? I deny myself.. I need her to tell me I can do it. This and that.
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HoneyBee

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Hi,
I don't think you need a fancy car or a big house in order to find someone to love. Just be strong in your faith and have a good paying job (for security) and your future spouse will come. Have you tried being in fellowship with other believers? Sometimes that can help too, as you'll both have the same values. And do remember that these things sometimes take time, so patience is something you'll want to have too. Don't worry, your future spouse is out there somewhere, and you've got your whole life ahead of you to find her. You're only 25. That's still pretty young, so don't worry. :)
 
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blackribbon

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I believe it is unwise to connect with a man (or woman) expecting them to change. If they change for someone else, there is no guarantee that they won't get frustrated and go back to the person they were when life gets hard. If a person changes for themself, they are likely to stay with the change because they picked it for themself. I would never allow myself to fall in romantic love with someone who does not strive to be the man whom God calls him to to be...with or without me. I need someone who sees their significance in life as an individual before I can submit to them as a wife. You are asking for a "mama" figure to come in and fix you...but only God can do that. And it is too much pressure to expect of a girlfriend or a wife.

On a practical note, most men do not own a house before they get married. Most men do not own a fancy car either. Those come later in life. However, a man who wants a wife needs to show her that he is ready to be the leader of a family and have a way to financially support that family. It may not be his current job but the current job should be such that it leads to the job that will eventually be able to provide at least the life they hope to have. And if he is ready to marry, the job needs to be able to provide the bare basics a couple needs. (Remember, that pregnancies can put a woman on bed rest for significant periods of time or at least limit her ability to work both while pregnant and for several months afterwards.
 
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S.O.J.I.A.

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you do need a job, as you need to be able to support a family and pay the bills. even more than that, you need to have goals in life and the drive to actually build something. a godly woman wants to be a part of something that a man is building in fulfilling his ambition and purpose.

you don't need a fancy car, but in this day and age where transportation is more or less a necessity, you're gonna need a reliable vehicle that will allow you and your family to get from point A to point B knowing that if something breaks down you're gonna be able to fix it by your own hand or by a mechanic(this goes back to needing job as well as developing some skills).

you don't necessarily need to own a property(though it would be best for a number of reasons). but you are going to have to provide your family with a roof over their head, space, and a safe environment for them to live.

if you don't want to stay fit and in shape, that's up to you. just don't expect your wife to do you the same courtesy and don't be surprised if that same woman isn't as attracted to you as she was at first because you let yourself go. as you are now, your looks will limit you romantic options. newsflash! woman care about physical attractiveness just like men do.


it's tough and it's a lot of work, but you can do it! you're still young and have plenty of time. get started now.
 
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A. Sinner

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this is why older men and younger women make good marriages. No one wants to admit it because it’s taboo but it’s true. Older men can provide a stable life, know themselves better, what they want, etc, and younger women can provide the babies (which most older men want). Men and women mature differently and have different needs which this type of age difference can provide....sorry but it’s true.
 
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Cross Over the Lake

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I believe what God calls men to do is to have a successful Christ centered life. Now success comes in many different shapes and forms for everyone. For me personally it is about developing that Christ centered life and fulfilling what I have been called to do. Strive for betterment, strive to achieve goals not just for self gratification but showing God’s glory through me. I believe if that’s the focus the right person will come along and everything will just click. If you meet someone and you feel like they are just interested in what you “have” chances are that’s not the right move.
 
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Ronit

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To get a Christian woman I need the job and I need the fancy car and I need the house. I have no inspiration to workout. Opposite sex influence of a caring woman would help me more with Jesus. I wish I had the money since me talking about the Bible constantly is something they don't want. I want an Eve. Inspiration to change. Who am I getting better for? I deny myself.. I need her to tell me I can do it. This and that. View attachment 234192
I'm not like that. Those are really superficial people
 
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Ronit

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This sentiment is echoed by many Christian men. That tells me two things:

Education and better job opportunities have sparked an upward trajectory across the board. It isn’t limited to women.

However, the mating marketplace rewards five qualities more than others: class (born in a prominent family), wealth, appearance, position (social, political, and financial connections) and potential (well-regarded employment). In most instances, those in possession of these attributes select a suitor from amongst the group. They rarely go outside the fold.

Growth creates a measure of disparity and scarcity. We expand at different rates. Some qualities are valued more than others. Rather than one populace of available suitors you have three groups instead.

The first is comprised of the five parties previously mentioned. The second includes those desiring entry into the first group. And the third includes every one else. If you consider the complaints and allegations the problem is evident. They’re pursuing the wrong prospects.

This is the elephant in the room in Christian circles. Few are rejected over doctrinal differences. Appearance and wealth are frequently mentioned. But that implies an unstated absence of potential which could offset the deficiency in the other’s eyes.

Before we criticize we must examine our behavior. Do we notice the kind and lowly in our midst? Have we considered them for companionship? What of those whose shortcomings are less appealing than others? Have we passed them by?

Opportunities abound if you’re honest. :)

ETA: This is an outgrowth of a larger issue at work. The growing polarization of society reduces homogeny in deference to tribalism.

~Bella
Well Said My Friend :)
 
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DragonFox91

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I have a good job, good car, a house & am single, never dated. The Lord has provided me everything but a woman. Just b/c you get those things, it doesn't mean you're going to get a partner.

I have a friend, lives with his parents, has a job slightly above minimum wage, is my age, & he had a girlfriend for a few years.

Also you should want to improve yourself regardless of if you have a girlfriend. You should also not want to rely on her to inspire you to do things. Not saying it'll lead to a girlfriend, just good to do.

I don't have an answer for you that'll lead to GF, b/c a lot of it seems God's will almost, just your thinking isn't where it should be.
 
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Tone

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To get a Christian woman I need the job and I need the fancy car and I need the house. I have no inspiration to workout. Opposite sex influence of a caring woman would help me more with Jesus. I wish I had the money since me talking about the Bible constantly is something they don't want. I want an Eve. Inspiration to change. Who am I getting better for? I deny myself.. I need her to tell me I can do it. This and that. View attachment 234192


Awesome poem my man!
 
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Tone

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Oh yeah,


Maybe look for your rib within the giftings and talents He has already provided. Shape them into a work for His glory.


Remember, Adam was put to sleep when the Creator extracted his rib...so...dream a little dream of her...
 
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DragonFox91

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"I have a friend, lives with his parents, has a job slightly above minimum wage, is my age, & he had a girlfriend for a few years."

exactly, some guys know how to get em and some guys just don't ( like me) XD
No, he just happened to find one he really clicked w/. Fate. (although they're ex's now)
 
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For a long time I had a lot of reasons that I would tell myself to explain why I was unsuccessful with women. Many of them were along those same lines of what I hear you saying.

Eventually I realized that women are attracted to strong, masculine men. Not necessarily strong in the physical sense (although it helps) and not masculine in the macho, or obnoxious way, but strong in the way he carries himself, with inward confidence, and with a calm that comes most surely from being in Christ. God makes powerful men and women cannot resist attraction to that. Of course, being in Christ is essentially the opposite of our worldly or childish masculinity. You may find yourself being attracted to different aspects or qualities of a woman that you previously weren't as focused on.

These are two passages I like to meditate on in regards to being strong, powerful and masculine:

Proclaim to the nations. Prepare for War. Wake up the mighty men. Joel 3:9

That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man. Ephesians 3:16

I hope something I said helps.
 
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