- Oct 21, 2009
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HELLO TO ALL MY CF FRIENDS. THANKS FOR PRAYING FOR ME.
I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.
In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.
My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!
Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.
Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.
It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.
I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.
I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.
I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.
I haven't been here in a while. For several years I tried to be a friend, a minister, and a help to others. I wish so much that I could do that again. Maybe soon.
In the past 7 years I have had 4 major surgeries and on a separate occasion I had an undiagnosed lung infection, and my oxygen was at 55% when paramedics came. I spent 7 days on a ventilator/life support. When I woke I had a hypoxic brain injury from the length of time without sufficient oxygen.
My body is literally falling apart. I have severe complex degenerative disk disease which has almost cost me the use of my hand. I've had 3 spine surgeries/fusions and 8 disks replaced.
My shoulder and hip get regular shots until we need to do those surgeries. I'm only 51!!
Nine years ago I was running 3 miles 3 days a week; going to yoga class twice a week and using small weights.
Each surgery has required a minimum of 12 to 18 months of recovery - each time. As soon as my body was healed from the last surgery, I was being scheduled for the next one.
Just 5 weeks ago I had unexpected surgery to remove ovarian cysts the size of a honey dew melon and a grapefruit. They did a full hysterectomy at the same time, took out my appendix and another surgeon repaired a hernia.
It's far from over unless a miracle of healing comes. I love the Lord no matter what happens to me. I don't try to understand why... I just know how He saved me and that is enough.
I'm going back to my surgeon next week - good lord.
I have started thinking lately that it may not worth living if I end up unable to ever regain my health. I cannot live knowing I can no longer contribute but be a burden to my husband who has been wonderful to me. I know these thoughts are probably not rational but the chronic pain has a way of opening up a whole new set of ideas.
I'm on morphine, percocet, gabapentin and medical marijuana. If I were not able to get these drugs for my pain, I would just leave it all behind.
I want to feel better. I need to feel better. I want to be my old self again.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME WHATEVER THE LORD PUTS ON YOUR HEART. THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I LOVE YOU ALL SO DEARLY AND MISS GETTING ON CF LIKE I USED TO.