Hi guys,
I realize that I don't belong here on the eastern orthodox boards, but this thread was in the 'new threads' list and caught my eye, so I'll say my piece and leave.
Having spent quite some time ministering to the homeless, I can tell you that the life on the streets is very tough and that, yes, the majority have some form of mental or substance abuse. Sometimes both. In my experience, one of the reasons that many homeless refuse shelter in funded homeless shelters is the rules. Most such shelters won't let you in if you show any signs of drinking or drug use. Knowing that these rules generally exist in all such shelters, when we offer someone the opportunity of staying in one, they refuse because they know they'll just be getting in trouble.
When I ministered to the homeless at the south Miami-Dade homeless shelter in Naranja Florida, there were always people getting turned away and often starting a ruckus because the security personnel that checked them in smelled alcohol on their breath or noticed other signs of drug use. So, many of the homeless that have been out there for awhile know better than to try to get in to some of these shelters and just politely turn down any effort to help them get in. They understand that you're trying to be nice, but also realize that you likely don't have a clue how the shelter system works and are just setting them up to get in trouble. If not the night that you meet them, then the next night or the next one. They just know that they won't be able to abide by the rules for any length of time.
Secondly, stealing is rampant in most shelters. Many homeless would much rather go off and sleep by themselves in a doorway or alley where they have a better chance of being able to close their eyes without having to worry that someone is going to steal what little stuff they have.
Finally, they also know, if they've been homeless for any length of time, that shelter life is temporary at best. You'll get 30 days or 60 days and then you'll be forced to go right back where you were before. It's hard to find any meaningful work for the homeless. Most have very limited knowledge of any kind of work, they generally don't have clothes that they can change into and they don't have transportation. The shelter may give them 30 or 60 days, but that isn't long enough for people in their situation to set their life right and when they're put back on the street, any little job they might have had goes up in smoke.
So, I'd just be careful saying that the homeless have made a choice or are happy/satisfied with their situation. Many of them have been through the 'we want to help you' mill and come out the other side pretty much the same as they were when they went in. They learn that there's little hope that anyone can make a meaningful change in their lives short of just giving them a $1,000.00 a month and a car and getting them to stop drinking or using drugs so that they'll get to work every morning for a 6 month stretch.
However, this doesn't generally apply to the newly homeless or those who find themselves homeless because of some short term job or family set back. These people often will still have a car and be able to get to work and they just need a place to rest until they can get some money saved up to get back up and start fighting again.
At the homeless shelter where I served you could usually tell the chronic homeless from those just down on their luck for a short time. You could give the chronic homeless a list of jobs and they'd just leave them at the next window. The temporary homeless would be more inclined to take the list and make the calls and often secure a job. But, they also usually had a car or at least bus fare to get to work for a while until the next paycheck came in. The temporary homeless also didn't suffer as much with addictions because they were really people who just needed a temporary hand to get back up.
When someone has been homeless for a year or more and has been through the local system a time or two, then they begin to fall into despair and begin to accept what's happened to them and learn to adjust accordingly. However, don't ever make the mistake that such a life is a freewill choice.
As for the OP and his homeless friend, he likely knew that he wouldn't be able to hold a job and took off before he embarrassed his benefactor and himself...again. While not a choice, it is often a resignation drawn from experience.
God bless you,
In Christ, ted