Sexual desire vs Lust

Dave-W

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So if the couple said no we have no sexual desires or lusts or anything like that, we are not into that sort of dirty sinful thing. We only want to get married to take care of housechores together and we can not live together without being married can we, besides it will save money, maybe the minister would be happy. We will have a fully white relationship, hopefully. There is already enough children in this world. What would He say then. Do You think He would go ahead and marry them?
Hmmm. If I was that pastor I would not marry them.

I would, however, encourage both of them to be medically examined as to why they do NOT have normal desires; and also refer them to counselors to find out if they have been fed a bunch of anti-sex "Purity Culture" junk and to get them rid of it.
 
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Mountainmanbob

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"Lust is inherently the reduction of the other person to an object. Imagination is fine when you still care what your partner is thinking or feeling - that aren't really dehumanising or seeking only to fulfil your own greed/desires by allowing the fantasies to run wild. It only truly becomes lust when, in your heart, you accept that the other is only an object.
It's like any other feeling: there's a difference between being angry and saying "they deserve to suffer", between being sad and saying "nothing can improve", and between being turned on and saying "all I want is a body". Put another way...attraction is appreciation. Lust is apathy".


Do you agree with the above clarification?


By worldly standards the above comments are pretty good.

Although, does not seem to be a biblical outlook.

M-Bob
 
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Roseonathorn

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So when a couple strolls down the street and the wife notices that her fiance's eyes wander off toward some less dressed women in bikinis dancing or such then She think her fiance is lusting if He can not take his eyes off them. However if the attention is only toward her and not at the other girls at all then She might think He has pure Godgiven sexual desire. A man can off course keep control of His eyes in His fiances company.
 
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Dave-W

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Many years ago I remember Dr. Ed Cole give this definition of love and it's 3 opposites (for time's sake I'll concentrate on only one).
I would not take anything he said as valid.

In his "Maximized Manhood" video series he said said all masturbation was sinful and then called regular marital intercourse "vaginally masturbating."
 
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Roseonathorn

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Oh dear guess what they advertise on this site in this thread? Worms for dieting purposes and the pills look like worms, never in my life would I want to try that. I certainly do not lust for that dreambody that desperatedly. But I would like to say that christian men specifically should not forget about their wife when She gets over 35 years of age. It is not fun in the computerage when we married women always get the advise to divorce and remarry as if any other man would be better and not be glued to young women on the net as soon as their lust awakens...their wife is only or mostly for housekeeping, raising kids and making food. Today as much as 50% of all marriages are nonsexual. A good marriage without other parts involved in the sexual life is much nicer than a marriage where one can not talk to one another and the husband has secrets on His phone and computer and there is no sex ever within the marriage, much of the trust is broken and wives in such marriages are sometimes very bored with their sexlife, it is nonexistant while the man usually have more affaires or extramarital business. Also wives are threathened with divorses should they be adulterous but if the man would get Himself a mistress He says it would be His wifes fault by some strange reason. The church also preach that the man is the head over the woman so some men think they can be very mean too. But see the head has only one body, one woman, not one head and many bodies, that will not work.
 
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Dave-W

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Today as much as 50% of all marriages are nonsexual. A good marriage without other parts involved in the sexual life is much nicer than a marriage where one can not talk to one another and the husband has secrets on His phone and computer and there is no sex ever within the marriage, much of the trust is broken and wives in such marriages are sometimes very bored with their sexlife, it is nonexistant while the man usually have more affaires or extramarital business.
I think you have an overly negative view of non sexual marriages.

Not all of us men go for affairs or go the inappropriate content route. (internet or otherwise)
 
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Roseonathorn

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Well it is good to hear that not all men watch inappropriate content, in my country women get mocked if they are tired of a sexless marriage where the man watch inappropriate content and completedly ignores His wife no matter how good She looks. The wife is then encouraged to sell sex or get a partner outside the marriage if She wants sex or divorse and live with someone without being married until they find another flower. So my view of some of those people is a bit like a can of worms, I can not lust or be attracted to it no matter how well they look. The heart is not right. In my view marriage is being responsible for each other and each others children too in good and bad times. Here it seems like when a girl has become a mom She is passe' and the husband wanders to the computersex, I've heard it too many times. They are often good at showing a great fasade outwards though that all is well.
 
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