Hello everyone. First let me say, I am terrible sorry if this is in the wrong section.
I browsed the forum for a good 25 minutes trying to figure out where.
Anyway, I met this woman close to 2 years ago. I learned quickly then that she wasn't wife material. I should have stopped talking to her then but I was lonely at the time so I kept seeing her. She's even told me then that she was just "being a harlot" and she had no intentions of a second date with me. This woman smokes weed, drinks, the whole shebang. We have vastly diffierent views on sex, sin, and homosexuality, and all the controversial stuff. But it happened anyway. Some sexual things went down on the first date and normally I wouldn't be into that sort of thing but I was going through a rough patch in my faith.
I was completely pure when I had first met her. I've fallen quite a ways since then. I've been getting more and more "like your average person" and its honestly scarring me. It's like she has some sort of aura to her and I dunno. I am convinced it might be some sort of spirit or something. Anyway, We've broken up at least 4 times and she keeps forcing herself back in my life. Anyway, needless to say, I am no longer pure and its debateable if I'm even a virgin anymore, leading more towards no. I won't get into detail about that since its beside my point.
But I had told her from day one that I was trying to remain pure until marriage and she would continually press and press and make me cave in more and more.
I'm trying to keep this short. I'm not going to blame her that I lost my purity because ultimately it was my decision to stay with her after the first couple of dates. But I've changed so much since I first met her. And I'm just so ashamed of all the things I've allowed myself to do. But, she does have some good qualities but the bad qualities are very, big ones. She keeps telling me that she believes God wants me and her to be together. I honestly don't know. I couldn't see how because not many good things have come from her. Any advice anyone? Is it me or am I right to want her out of my life?
I browsed the forum for a good 25 minutes trying to figure out where.
Anyway, I met this woman close to 2 years ago. I learned quickly then that she wasn't wife material. I should have stopped talking to her then but I was lonely at the time so I kept seeing her. She's even told me then that she was just "being a harlot" and she had no intentions of a second date with me. This woman smokes weed, drinks, the whole shebang. We have vastly diffierent views on sex, sin, and homosexuality, and all the controversial stuff. But it happened anyway. Some sexual things went down on the first date and normally I wouldn't be into that sort of thing but I was going through a rough patch in my faith.
I was completely pure when I had first met her. I've fallen quite a ways since then. I've been getting more and more "like your average person" and its honestly scarring me. It's like she has some sort of aura to her and I dunno. I am convinced it might be some sort of spirit or something. Anyway, We've broken up at least 4 times and she keeps forcing herself back in my life. Anyway, needless to say, I am no longer pure and its debateable if I'm even a virgin anymore, leading more towards no. I won't get into detail about that since its beside my point.
But I had told her from day one that I was trying to remain pure until marriage and she would continually press and press and make me cave in more and more.
I'm trying to keep this short. I'm not going to blame her that I lost my purity because ultimately it was my decision to stay with her after the first couple of dates. But I've changed so much since I first met her. And I'm just so ashamed of all the things I've allowed myself to do. But, she does have some good qualities but the bad qualities are very, big ones. She keeps telling me that she believes God wants me and her to be together. I honestly don't know. I couldn't see how because not many good things have come from her. Any advice anyone? Is it me or am I right to want her out of my life?