Hello everyone. I've been struggling with a really frustrating issue lately. Some things from my childhood and my teenage years have been heavily tormenting me lately, so bad to the point where I want to cry.
I am not very comfortable saying what these past memories are on a public forum but I can tell you they are sick, embarrassing, and bring me a lot of shame. I confessed and repented of these sins to God and I know he has forgiven me. I have not even attempted to look at these things in a very long time nor do I have any desire to. However, I keep getting bombarded with thoughts that say "what if your mom knew? your boyfriend? your family?" They would never look at you the same. In some ways, I know this is the enemy bringing these things up.
The fact is, I'm sure they'd look at me very differently and probably not in a good way either. These things happened in the past and have not gone on for a long time. I did something really difficult by talking to a stranger about these things but they told me I need to know I'm forgiven and I need to move on from it because I'm living a better life now compared to back then. I also talked to my pastor and she told me I have to know I'm forgiven and not everything needs to be said to certain people because of how some people might react. How do I combat these "what if" thoughts and how do I move on from these bad memories without them affecting my current relationships? This has been really hard for me.
I am not very comfortable saying what these past memories are on a public forum but I can tell you they are sick, embarrassing, and bring me a lot of shame. I confessed and repented of these sins to God and I know he has forgiven me. I have not even attempted to look at these things in a very long time nor do I have any desire to. However, I keep getting bombarded with thoughts that say "what if your mom knew? your boyfriend? your family?" They would never look at you the same. In some ways, I know this is the enemy bringing these things up.
The fact is, I'm sure they'd look at me very differently and probably not in a good way either. These things happened in the past and have not gone on for a long time. I did something really difficult by talking to a stranger about these things but they told me I need to know I'm forgiven and I need to move on from it because I'm living a better life now compared to back then. I also talked to my pastor and she told me I have to know I'm forgiven and not everything needs to be said to certain people because of how some people might react. How do I combat these "what if" thoughts and how do I move on from these bad memories without them affecting my current relationships? This has been really hard for me.