Hello Christian Forums. I am new here and I have had a difficult year due to various spiritual and personal struggles, so please bear with me here, as I really need help. I used to go to church, it was the love of my life, but now I feel burned out and just can’t stand the thought of going back to church. Throughout my undergrad years of college, I attended a non-denom church (Won’t be named here for privacy), which I fell in love with at the first service. I was showered with hospitality and kindness when I started going to both church and Bible studies, so I made this church my home and made it a priority to attend everything this church had to offer. However, once I got deeply involved with the church, there were many points that I strongly disagreed with in their theology. For starters, they were heavy on outreach, which Bible study leaders forced people to participate in, as if one’s salvation depended upon it, completely contradictory to Eph 2. I also burned out attending every function the church had to offer; I just felt that I needed to go to earn the congregation’s approval and I felt like I was going to be punished if I wasn’t there. This was the situation for the entire church, as seen in the constant involvement of all my peers in this church, and the judgment imposed on others who did not regularly attend the church's functions or appeared to be “different” or “worldly” compared to other members. Further adding to the pain was the lack of authenticity. I don’t know if I’m placing too high expectations on people I should just pass off as casual friends, but these church-goers, whether it be my closer friends or acquaintances in tis group, would get offended if I shared my vulnerable moments or shared difficult emotions or subjects that I needed help dealing with. I don’t feel as if there is anybody who values me or respects my feelings and how hard I’ve worked in school and church. After a year of struggling to keep up with my difficult balance between church and schoolwork I decided to quit this church. May not even come back to any church, this is my second bad experience at a church, with my first church being one that was damaged after the church fired their pastor. My previously joyous spirt is now full of cynicism, and I feel as if there is not a single church out there who will love me or value me as a person. How can I overcome these hard feelings? What should I do? Is the church really “God’s people”?
