Your words are not accurate so I really read how little you know.
So you’ve attended hundreds of services about your God that you find “aweful”.
Now that is a waste. Who does that?
How are my words not so accurate? I am the one reporting to you about MY experiences. You have no idea of my feelings, what is going on in my heart, or how accurate my account is.
I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to 8 years of Roman Catholic schooling. As such, I know Roman Doctrine.
When I graduated from High School, I was an atheist. I didn't believe in God, and was mad at God for Him not existing.Being an atheist is difficult, especially when you see God's love shining down in the sunlight, the green fields, etc. So I amended my stand, and decided that I was an agnostic. For a while, I was okay with that, as long as He didn't bother me, I wouldn't bother him.
Through a long and twisted path, I finally came back to the simplicity of the Gospel, and I went back to the RCC, where I tried to cooperate with Jesus instead of fighting Him. The night I started cooperating, I received the gift of the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I felt Him flood through me.
Within two months, God called me to be a missionary. So I packed up, bag and baggage, and left for Alaska to work at a missionary radio station called KJNP, in North Pole, AK. I spent a year there, being a disc jockey, and listening to radio sermons. We had to log the "commercial" (i.e. begging) portions of the show, because that content was taxable. Well, some of these half-hour programs would run 20 minutes of begging, and 10 minutes of preaching!
I was disgusted! Some of these radio evangelists were spending more time begging for money than preaching about the Lord! Well, I held on, and listened and learned. I found out that what this pious radio station cared more about was money and politics rather than the Gospel.
During that time, I sampled the Protestant Churches in town, (Fairbanks) and the surrounding area. I attended churches where there were hundreds, and sometimes thousands in the congregation plus the radio audience. On the other hand, there was this one church at a wide spot on the road with a congregation of six. The preaching was good, but for whatever reason, the church refused to grow any larger. The preaching styles were varied, from on preacher who hollered everything--even though the congregation was less than 100 people; to preachers who would mumble into his microphone and couldn't be heard. When I could, I would go to Sunday Mass, but as I didn't have a car, I either had to walk or hitch a ride.
I worked for a year, sometimes having to gnash my teeth, to sound pleasant to the radio audience, and fill up their time with radio programming. At the end of the year, I was dead broke, had NO income, and I fell down on a bare wood surface and broke my back--a compression fracture of the 12T.
I had to go home, as the doctor told me that Alaska would kill me if I stayed any more time. By that time I was ready to come back home, as to go any farther would have made me angry at all of the crap from different preachers, each one telling people they had to do this or that to get saved. And, of course, they all wanted everyone to tithe into that program's piggy bank. "We're so poor! If we don't get added funding, we are going to have to start cutting back on the number of radio stations we broadcast to. Every day, the same appeal.
The same month I came back from Alaska, I made a Cursillo, which is a short course in Christianity. This was a Roman Catholic group. There, I heard the Gospel preached in its simplicity, and God moved across my heart to begin working with them. Which I did for the best part of 20 years.
Certain changes in my life caused me leave the Catholic Church, and I ended up at an Assembly of God church in Rockford, Illinois. I attended for a few years, and the preaching style, even the doctrinal content varied from one pastor to another. When I started attending. the Music Minister was this flaming queen. Everyone there knew he was gay, and that he had a taste for little boys. However, the senior pastor kept him there even though he removed a couple of other "Associate Pastors" for the same thing.
Well, the Senior Pastor was offered a job at the AofG headquarters, and the church began looking for a new Senior Pastor. Eventually, we elected Ron Hembree, a genial fraud who threw out several members of the preaching staff to put his own family in. So, after the change, we had the senior pastor, then his wife, his father and mother, and one of his sons. Then he had a "vision" that God wanted him to build a table for 5,000--in order to become a mega-church and a mini-denomination. This silliness went on for several years, until the new church was built. Still, even among members of the Hembree family, the preaching varied from one person to another, the doctrine was uneven, to say the least. I even had a lay leader tell me that, seeing as how I had never been married, I was supposed to pray, and ask God to find out what spiritual "color" I was, and once I found out what it was, I was supposed to ask God to bring a lady into my life that was a complimentary "color," so that we could match with each other, and in our marriage, create a NEW "color." That was the breaking point, I went back to the RCC, and prepared to live a single. celibate life.
Changes in my body caused me to move to Phoenix, Arizona. (I was over 40 years old, I needed a gentler climate, and i was beginning to have health issues. The Cursillo group here in Phoenix was mostly a Spanish-American thing, and even though I was a national leader in the movement I couldn't speak Spanish.
A couple of years went by, and I still hadn't fond a real church home. Most of the Catholic Churches around here were heavily Hispanic. Fine, I have no problem with ANY race, creed or color of people. But, I would like to understand the sermon.
Then I met Fr. Basil online. At the time, he was Orthodox but he invited me to join a hermitage he was planning in Phoenix. His warm, caring, Christian heart encouraged me, and after not a long time, I was with him as a novice. After a time of instruction, he asked if I was ready for tonsure, and I said yes.
That was about 12 years ago. soon after, I saw the difficulties inherent in the various Orthodox jurisdictions. So we began investigating the so called "Uniate" churches, Those churches that use a byzantine style of worship while still being in communion with the pope. We finally chose the Melkite parish here in Phoenix, and we love everybody there, and they love us right back. We are valued for our piety, and our prayers.
So yes, I have seen hundreds of worship services, and I can say that the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom is better by far than ANY Protestant service I have EVER seen.