A Baptist Minister and His Transgender Friends

badatusernames

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Sarah G

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If is easy to miss the mark and fall short of the commandments to love one another and treat others as we would like to be treated. I often become confused by arguments and counter-arguments especially when scientific theories come into play but what is the need of confusion really? It is simple enough; love one another as I have loved you. Do unto others. Science is hard. Love is easier.
 
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SkyWriting

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Normally I avoid video's due to their propaganda potential.
This mans honesty had me in tears before he even stated
the goal of his Ted Talk. And I don't know even one person
that he is speaking out for.
 
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Cuddles333

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The cause of sin of 'willful ignorance' concerning this issue, is pride. To ignore the arguments found in the debates (even those here in the Formal Debate forum) is to ignore God. A person will only commit that sin if he/she thinks that will raise a lower form up to their status.
 
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SkyWriting

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The cause of sin of 'willful ignorance' concerning this issue, is pride. To ignore the arguments found in the debates (even those here in the Formal Debate forum) is to ignore God. A person will only commit that sin if he/she thinks that will raise a lower form up to their status.

I'm sure you are correct, but I've not willfully ignored this subject.
Most LGBT topics are banned from discussion on this site.
You decide the reason.
 
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badatusernames

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If is easy to miss the mark and fall short of the commandments to love one another and treat others as we would like to be treated. I often become confused by arguments and counter-arguments especially when scientific theories come into play but what is the need of confusion really? It is simple enough; love one another as I have loved you. Do unto others. Science is hard. Love is easier.

When my best friend came out to her family as trans, they completely disowned her "in the name of love" thinking that by separating themselves from her that would see the error of her ways. In my friend's mind, they were simply just rejecting her and wanted nothing to do with each other. It took a long time, but with sincere prayer as to what to do, they realize their job was to love their child. The relationships has thankfully been restored.

Normally I avoid video's due to their propaganda potential.
This mans honesty had me in tears before he even stated
the goal of his Ted Talk. And I don't know even one person
that he is speaking out for.


I didn't know, well I didn't know that I did know, a transgender person person until my best friend came out to me in college.

The cause of sin of 'willful ignorance' concerning this issue, is pride. To ignore the arguments found in the debates (even those here in the Formal Debate forum) is to ignore God. A person will only commit that sin if he/she thinks that will raise a lower form up to their status.

Too many people alive are convinced that they are right about everything in life, often at the expense of others. My friend was kicked out of her family, asked not to come back to our home church, struggled to find a church for years, and even once escorted out of a church.
 
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SkyWriting

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When my best friend came out to her family as trans, they completely disowned her "in the name of love" thinking that by separating themselves from her that would see the error of her ways. In my friend's mind, they were simply just rejecting her and wanted nothing to do with each other. It took a long time, but with sincere prayer as to what to do, they realize their job was to love their child. The relationships has thankfully been restored.

Far too many people think they should seperate themselves from other people.
I think God hates that.
 
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badatusernames

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Far too many people think they should seperate themselves from other people.
I think God hates that.

I've come to agree with this. I have a saying "If you have to explain to someone how or that you are loving them, you are not loving them."
 
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DamianWarS

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My concern is since there is very broad criteria when should our gender struggle speak louder than our birth gender? I do not reject there are gender conflicts that need to be taken seriously but there are also cases where "transgender" is just used as a label to prop up other agendas over legitimate gender struggles. At what point can the Church reject an individual's claim to being transgendered?
 
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badatusernames

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My concern is since there is very broad criteria when should our gender struggle speak louder than our birth gender? I do not reject there are gender conflicts that need to be taken seriously but there are also cases where "transgender" is just used as a label to prop up other agendas over legitimate gender struggles. At what point can the Church reject an individual's claim to being transgendered?

One of the things that I think applies to more than just this comes from a Christian psychologist who's book is currently on my reading list, is named Mark Yarhouse. One of the things he talks about is how too often we forget that when we first meet people, we're not meeting them in chapter 1 of their life. I ultimately don't really think there is just one test, at least yet, that we can always say "yes, you have genuine gender dysphoria", but we do need to be mindful that these people have often had a very difficult life up to whatever point that we are meeting them at and we need to be sensitive to them.

I liked what he said about how "You don't get to pick your causes" because that's the same thing that happened to me. I really knew nothing about the issue or anything about it.Then, I come back from Spring Break my senior year of college to my best friend in this weird state of frantic, yet distraught depressive and anxious state. They had gone home for his last Spring Break, and I asked what happened. They told me that they came out to their family as transgender after years of struggling with it, and his family wanted nothing to do with them anymore. I didn't know what to say or do, I said that I would help them through this struggle. They broke down crying, I had never seen them cry before, saying that they had tried so hard to be not even a Godly man, but just a man and just couldn't, and was done wearing a mask. I asked them if their therapist knew (I knew he had had depression for years), and they said yes, in fact, one of their diagnoses was "Gender Dysphoria". Looking back on it, there were definitely very subtle signs that it was there when we were growing up together, and it did always seem like something was bothering them or at least on their mind. They said something to me that stuck with me that night "I would rather lose everyone and everything than live with this. I want to experience those things called peace and joy that everyone else keeps talking about." Yes, they are a Christian.

Anyway, the started hormones early the next fall and it was like night and day immediately. Everyone who knew them could immediately tell there was a difference. My best friend talked a lot about noticing that there was this mental clarity and peace they'd never felt before. There was one day they said "This is what this joy thing everyone keeps talking about it." She's now in a much better place than she ever had been as male, nobody who has kept in touch wishes or wants the male version back. We all love her because it's so much better for her. She feels closer to Christ, her relationship with God has never been better. She is celibate and doesn't date because she believes that same-sex relationships are wrong, though we all joke with her she should find a nice transman, but she's not into men. Over those months, I realized that I, and quite frankly, the entire conservative position on it has it wrong. I've met a few other Christian transgender people through her and they all have similar stories of struggling with their identity in Christ and their dysphoria, and other transgender people through her. All of them have said the only thing that made their dysphoria better is transitioning.
 
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DamianWarS

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One of the things that I think applies to more than just this comes from a Christian psychologist who's book is currently on my reading list, is named Mark Yarhouse. One of the things he talks about is how too often we forget that when we first meet people, we're not meeting them in chapter 1 of their life. I ultimately don't really think there is just one test, at least yet, that we can always say "yes, you have genuine gender dysphoria", but we do need to be mindful that these people have often had a very difficult life up to whatever point that we are meeting them at and we need to be sensitive to them.

I liked what he said about how "You don't get to pick your causes" because that's the same thing that happened to me. I really knew nothing about the issue or anything about it.Then, I come back from Spring Break my senior year of college to my best friend in this weird state of frantic, yet distraught depressive and anxious state. They had gone home for his last Spring Break, and I asked what happened. They told me that they came out to their family as transgender after years of struggling with it, and his family wanted nothing to do with them anymore. I didn't know what to say or do, I said that I would help them through this struggle. They broke down crying, I had never seen them cry before, saying that they had tried so hard to be not even a Godly man, but just a man and just couldn't, and was done wearing a mask. I asked them if their therapist knew (I knew he had had depression for years), and they said yes, in fact, one of their diagnoses was "Gender Dysphoria". Looking back on it, there were definitely very subtle signs that it was there when we were growing up together, and it did always seem like something was bothering them or at least on their mind. They said something to me that stuck with me that night "I would rather lose everyone and everything than live with this. I want to experience those things called peace and joy that everyone else keeps talking about." Yes, they are a Christian.

Anyway, the started hormones early the next fall and it was like night and day immediately. Everyone who knew them could immediately tell there was a difference. My best friend talked a lot about noticing that there was this mental clarity and peace they'd never felt before. There was one day they said "This is what this joy thing everyone keeps talking about it." She's now in a much better place than she ever had been as male, nobody who has kept in touch wishes or wants the male version back. We all love her because it's so much better for her. She feels closer to Christ, her relationship with God has never been better. She is celibate and doesn't date because she believes that same-sex relationships are wrong, though we all joke with her she should find a nice transman, but she's not into men. Over those months, I realized that I, and quite frankly, the entire conservative position on it has it wrong. I've met a few other Christian transgender people through her and they all have similar stories of struggling with their identity in Christ and their dysphoria, and other transgender people through her. All of them have said the only thing that made their dysphoria better is transitioning.

You identify a case that seems to move the individual toward God and one where the individual seems to take seriously and responsibly, what I'm concerned with is it being misused to front desires that moves us away from God with sinful products. This certainly is no reason to turn away anyone but with regards to leadership, mentorship, discipline, ordinances of the church, etc... there is concern about abuse. This needs to be a conversation still and we can't just sweep it under the rug but we also just can't blindly sweep it over the rug. Once someone enters the church it becomes our responsibility to shepherd them in a manner that gives God glory and guides them to do likewise.
 
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SkyWriting

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My concern is since there is very broad criteria when should our gender struggle speak louder than our birth gender? I do not reject there are gender conflicts that need to be taken seriously but there are also cases where "transgender" is just used as a label to prop up other agendas over legitimate gender struggles. At what point can the Church reject an individual's claim to being transgendered?

When you are ready to be rejected from society by them, then you may reject others.
 
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SkyWriting

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You identify a case that seems to move the individual toward God and one where the individual seems to take seriously and responsibly, what I'm concerned with is it being misused to front desires that moves us away from God with sinful products. This certainly is no reason to turn away anyone but with regards to leadership, mentorship, discipline, ordinances of the church, etc... there is concern about abuse. This needs to be a conversation still and we can't just sweep it under the rug but we also just can't blindly sweep it over the rug. Once someone enters the church it becomes our responsibility to shepherd them in a manner that gives God glory and guides them to do likewise.

So you wish for church members to change your life? Have you asked for this service?
 
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